Chapter 8

“In the left corner, we have the best of the best. The beast himself. The killer of cells, Theeeeeee Suicidal Maniac!

In the right corner, we haaaaave.... some random asshat's excrement...

Fight!”

To the winner goes the prize. At least, so the saying goes. All I got, was a chance to clean up the stadium after Shrek had an orgy in it. Yes, yes it's that bad.

Okay, the aftermath is as follows:

I’m still bloated with all the clumped up virus parts I lost 3 mitochondria and the R&D is temporarily offline.

I do say temporary because the alternative would be too awful to even think about.

I'm down to 220 energy. I hope most parts of the structure still remain inside me, as then I can just reabsorb them and build it anew. Something tells me that it won't be so simple. I was pretty desperate at trying to push everything nonessential out.

It's kinda gory if you think about it. Parts of me are now swimming around, looking for other prey.

All I need is time to recover. At least time is something I don't lack.

-week later-

I now have fixed all the damage and the R&D is back online. I say that as if I had an active part in the repair process, but, honestly, everything just automatically fixed itself.

Nothing like testing out a new defence spell than by diving the last boss. I sure hope that was the last boss. I'm ready to end this game and retire in my Malibu mansion.

Ok, I'm ready for the credits to roll. No? Oh well, seems like I'm stuck with keeping Kevin company for a while longer.

I wonder how basic the basic inner cellular defence is? What're the numbers? How much damage can it absorb until stronger virus busts it down? This is the problem with a shitty UI. They need to add this in the next update. Together with a fix for randomly forgetting what you needed, when you walk in the room. While I'm at it, switch for getting a song unstuck from your head. I've been singing the llama song for the past 2 days.

“Happy llama, sad llama. Mentally disturbed llama. Super llama, drama llama, big fat mama llama.”

Okay, enough of that. Next plan - get enough energy for speeding up and unlocking other research. Something tells me that cell division is the next big thing. Imagine all the lame fish puns I could tell if I ever get to that.

What am I researching now tho? Glad you asked, Kevin. I'm going for the advance cell membrane. Figured that for once, I can keep shitty things out. It should act as another defence layer. Truth be told, I think that with enough structural integrity, I could raise inventory range without putting myself in too much danger. My gamer side might be showing there. You should always start with building more workers to increase resource production, only then focus on attack units. Base rush is for the bronze league. Still, real life does not work that way. That's why I'm going with toxin production next. I can't keep living in fear of killing myself. I'll get nowhere otherwise. Worst case scenario, I'll greet the Reaper with a smile on my face and hit-list in my hand. The first names on it might be the whole tech support team of this broken piece of shit system. They might be dead already tho. That would explain so many things.

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-Advanced cell membrane - 44%

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On a side note, I've been sorting out inventory and found a bug. I now have glitched empty field. I don't want to try to discard it; in the off chance, it creates some kind of singularity in reality. I can move it around, and the inventory currently seems endless, so it doesn't mess anything up. I give no props to the system for the inventory size, it must be harder to program limit for it, rather than let it stay endless. They were probably too lazy to change it.

-A few days later-

Kevin told me that his aunt Susan is going to visit soon. I think she will enjoy the amazing progress the progress bar has made in the last few days. It should be soon done.

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-Advanced cell membrane - 100%

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Speak of the devil, it's done.

...

I just checked and it costs biomass to build.

...

I don't have biomass anymore.

...

Fuck.

Oh wait, it can be built normally too. It costs... an arm and a leg. Not literally, mind you, but close enough. I will need another few weeks to get that much. In the meantime, I'm putting Toxin production up for research.

What else is new? Oh right, I had parts of myself revisit me, some of the virus balls came back. It's quite harmless for me tho, as every time it enters, my swarm of ants decimates it. It was a nice boost to my inner cell economy. I managed to write it down as a charity, so it won't affect my tax policies.

I also increased the total energy have to 340. It's one of the reasons why it took half as long for advanced membranes than it took for basic inner cellular defence.

Yeah, that's all I've been doing. I could have gone exploring, but what's the point? It will be faster to just stay here and mine. I think I will explore after getting toxin production. At that point, I should be considered dangerous enough individual in cellular society. I already killed one with just pure willpower, persistence and energy. Okay, mostly the latter. Besides, I need biomass asap.

I'll, probably, get it all done by the time Susan gets here. We can then explore together as one happy family.