Today is the 3rd.

I thought that I used sex to cope, but it's not just that, it's the closeness, the intimacy. Getting hugged by Hana while hugging Lina is extremely relaxing. It makes me feel even better than the sex itself. I feel safe and supported in this cuddle-puddle as it cuddle-heals me and cuddle-energizes me.

The other girls join us and we spend a few minutes in bed as we all recharge with each other.

"How are you all feeling?" Ciel asks.

"I'm fine. Still angry, but fine," Alissa says.

"I'm okay," Lina says, calmly.

"Same," Aoi says.

"I'm okay," Roxanne says, weakly.

Hana swallows heavily and I suddenly lack the energy to answer.

Ciel crawls towards us and pulls us both into a hug. I take the opportunity to suffocate myself in her soft chest. Hana seems to have the same idea since Ciel clears her throat, a little annoyed, and forces our heads free so that she can see our faces.

"I feel weak," Hana says and dries the corners of her eyes.

"Well… you aren't," Ciel says and pats her head.

"I'd die if I had to take a [Meteor] head-on. I wouldn't even be able to protect anyone against that."

"There isn't a single humanoid who would. Unless you use magic or enchantments to defend yourself, that spell could even kill the emperor." Ciel's fingers run along the red forest of Hana's hair.

Hana sighs. "I know… but we faced something that we couldn't stop and we might have to face it again."

"Then we prepare for it."

Hana suddenly sits up and smiles fearsomely. "Yes! That's it! We need to prepare for it, so that next time I'll be able to stop that molten ball of metal with my own hands!"

"I'd prefer that you didn't actually use your hands to stop it, but I'll allow it," Ciel says as she pats Hana's head one last time. Then she turns to face me and questions me with her eyes without even saying a word.

"I'm still feeling guilty over their deaths…" I whisper.

"Wolfy, I'm going to slap you again," Alissa says, dangerously.

I frown and look at Alissa, feeling a little hurt. "Why are you so against me blaming myself?" I ask.

She hardens her face in a way that I've never seen her show me before. "Leaders sometimes have to make sacrifices and sometimes people die beyond their control. But we are talking about obtuse visions of the future here, not controlled battles. It's just so abstract and vague that if you blame yourself for their deaths, then every leader that came before you should blame themselves for every death of their men. It's just not fair."

"You know a lot about leading."

She chuckles once and gives me a pained smile. "I was trained in leadership and I hated every second of it."

"It sounds like there's a story there," Ciel says to Alissa.

Alissa hardens her face again for a moment. Tail stiff, ears unmoving, eyes as sharp as a hunter's. "I've vowed to dedicate my entire being to protecting Wolfy and making him happy. Thinking that deaths are 'acceptable' goes against everything that I believe."

I sigh and rebury my head in Ciel's bosom.

Being logical about things helps, but it takes so much mental effort to force cold logic to replace wild emotion.

"We'll be here for you. Regardless of what happens, we'll get through this together," Ciel says and then hugs my head.

Through adversity, unity.

The dark and oppressive atmosphere of the High Forest feels rather nostalgic. It's a gloomy and dangerous place, but there's something special about being dwarfed by the colossal forms of nature. I also can't deny that I find it breathtakingly beautiful.

We are moving quite fast with the armored dinghy. It's almost as fast as an Earth car, so our trip should take at most one more day, but I still have a [Gate] "coordinate" outside of Goloria, so we'll use it tomorrow to save us a day of travel.

Before long, the colorful and glowing plants growing from the bark of the huge trees start to appear and our way becomes properly illuminated, allowing us to fly a bit more safely.

"We have to continue killing monsters," Hana comments.

"It's risky to do that right now. After we talk with Confiel, we should have some time to power-level… I mean, to rapidly increase our level," I say.

"Hm," she grunts and nods.

While we fly, Lina molds a small hinge, trying to make it and unmake it with [Manipulate Metal]. It's practice for the final touches of the first metal golem we're making.

There's not much else we can do besides practice our mana training, so joining Ciel and Roxanne, we all do Kyro's routine. Since we are all so close together, the focus is on controlling our mana so that no mana particles escape and we don't get sick from mana radiation.

We teach the golems the mana training routine. They have a lot of problems doing the routine because they still lack mana control.

I also feed Aoi whenever we're resting from our training. It seems that she has acquired a preference for one of the ways that I can feed her.

The meditative state that the training requires puts a band-aid on the wound in my heart. The helplessness and lack of control over my own emotions bring me shame.

I'm the so-called "hero" who didn't stop innocents from dying. I'm not the white knight stereotype that will sacrifice himself to save as many people as possible, but I'm supposed to be powerful, dammit! We were all just a few short seconds from death and there was no way for me to stop that spell!

[Redirect Mana] stopped that one spell from Dawn of Fire once… If I could use it in a safer way…

Gih.

I know it's dangerous, but maybe if I try it with small enchantments or spells, then perhaps I could find a way to weaponize it.

Gih.

I know, I'll be careful.

We stop for lunch and I find some catharsis in cooking with Alissa and Ciel.

Meanwhile, Lina creates chain links and connects the different pieces of the metal golem with it. This makes me chuckle and I feel like I was being silly. Why waste time making proper hinges when the golem itself will most likely use [Telekinesis] to move? There's no need for protective hinges since it doesn't have muscles that limit its movements nor flesh that it has to protect.

Then we sit down and eat our lunch: Brazilian Beirute. Not-pita bread sandwiches with slices of Orc ham, cheese, runny Dragolite egg, not-lettuce, not-tomato, Dragolite egg mayo, and a little bit of harpy not-mustard oil. Also, thick, milky not-grape juice on the side, though Hana's and Roxanne's have a dash of alcohol added in.

"It's a little bit tall," Roxanne says as she struggles to eat the sandwich.

I grab a fork and a knife and use them to eat. "You don't need to eat a sandwich with your hands," I say and smirk.

"Blasphemy," Hana says and scoffs.

"Blasphemy blasphemy," Ciel says with a smile.

"Blasphemy blasphemy blasphemy," Alissa continues.

"Okay, that's enough," Ciel says and shakes her head.

"But isn't it heresy instead of blasphemy?" Lina asks.

Ciel sends her a glance and she smiles in response but stays silent.

We finish our meal and I prepare to give life to the metal golem. It looks rather comical since it doesn't have any details or characteristics. It's almost like a stick figure made out of metal.

I copy Ted's soul the best that I can, but I don't even dare touch the brain part. Then I adapt the "skin" soul organ to something more closely resembling its current shape.

With everything ready, I finally cast [Infuse] and touch the metal man laying on the ground with my glowing hand.

A new effect manifests as I feel my "hold" over it slowly enveloping its entire body. Because the metal man is too big for my hand to hold all of it, it needs time for its soul to "spread" and take control over all of the metal.

Once it's almost done, I feel a sharp pain in my heart and look at my own "Status." My MP is dropping like a rock and when it reaches minus three hundred it stops, but then I fall unconscious.

The sweet, sweet nectar of MP and HP potions enter my body and I awaken, but when I try to sit up, my body doesn't respond.

I'm blind, my ears are ringing, and a headache is pounding through my brain with every heartbeat.

Ugh… overuse… again.

"I can't move…" I say in a weak voice. Even my vocal cords feel stiff and hard to move.

"Sorry, that's the side-effect of the Moonlight Moss MP potion," Roxanne says.

"[Purify Body]," Ciel casts and my muscles relax, but the pain of overexertion comes. "[Refresh]," she casts again and now I only feel slightly tired.

After a few minutes, the side-effects of overuse start to fade and Alissa helps me sit up.

"You did it again…" Alissa says with a disappointed frown.

"Sorry, I guess I was a little too anxious to do this and forgot about the possible consequences," I say and smile wryly.

"Hmph." Alissa pouts and looks away.

It's barely even been a full day, and I managed to disappoint Alissa yet again. Damn, I'm on a roll.

I look at the metal statue in front of me and ask, "Did it work?"

A "metallic" voice, very similar to Ted's answers, "Yes, master. I am alive."

Lina and I squeak in delight and she hugs me tight.

"Alright, time to establish the security protocols," I say and repeat the same rules that I told to Ted and Suzy.

"We need a name," I say.

"Kinzoku," Hana says immediately.

"Why should it be in [Ryuki-go]?" Alissa asks.

Lina's Trivia: That's the dragonkin ancient language.

"Just thought it sounds cool," Hana says with a shrug.

"Jarn. It sounds cooler in [Norvok Language]," Lina says.

Lina's Trivia: That's the dwarven ancient language.

"Then let's go with Metall," Ciel says and holds her hips in a sassy way.

"So you were all just saying 'metal' in other languages?" I ask with a raised eyebrow and they nod a little awkwardly. "How creative…"

"Why be creative if it sounds cool?" Hana asks.

I look at Alissa and she shrugs. "It sounds just like Ciel's suggestion in the ancient [Brume Language]," she says.

Then I look at Roxanne and she just smirks.

"Well… Lina built it and I just cast the spell, so I think that she gets priority in naming this one," I say.

"Just cast a spell from a lost magic school that you yourself revived," Alissa says and now she raises an eyebrow at me.

"Cheater," Ciel says and I lift my hands in surrender.

"Then Jarn it is," Lina says with a cute smile on her gloomy face.

"My name is Jarn," the metal golem says.

"Can you move?" I ask.

"What do you want me to move?" Jarn asks.

"Choose a random limb and flail it."

Jarn's right arm flails so wildly that it hits its shoulder and creates a loud metallic thud that resounds through the forest.

"Stop!" Lina exclaims and Jarn obeys.

"He lacks proper control of his own body and mana, just like the other golems," I say.

"Is Jarn a 'he'?" Hana asks.

"Technically, it's irrelevant. Unless Jarn… 'themself' decides on a sex," I answer.

"I do not have any reason to choose a gender," Jarn says.

Hm… it seems Jarn needs time to look through my memories.

"Master prefers women. We should all be women," Ted says.

"Then I shall become a woman, too," Jarn says.

I knew it. It's really the most advantageous choice because then they can receive the system…

"So, what are we going to do with Jarn?" Roxanne asks.

"Train her in combat. A perfect bodyguard that never needs to rest," Hana says.

"How do you see?" I ask Jarn.

"You would call it 'Spirit Eyes,'" she answers.

"Waait… I can learn this with [Soul Manipulation]!"

"Probably."

Actual eyes on the back of my head!

"How fast can you move?" Hana asks.

"Do you want a demonstration?" Jarn asks.

"Yes."

Jarn suddenly starts to move and turn around with her chains clinking against one another. Then she starts dashing away at a frightening speed. After a hundred meters or so, she turns around and dashes back.

"That cost half my mana," Jarn says.

"Well, shit," I swear and massage my temples.

"Movement gets more mana-efficient with, time," Ted says.

"She has to train her control," Suzy says.

"Oh, good news, then," Lina says and smiles.

"That'll be for later. We have to move…" I say. "Anyway, how long was I out?"

"About a minute. Roxanne's MP potion is very fast," Alissa says.

"Good to know."

Jarn can't stay out since she's too heavy for the dinghy, so I store her in my "Items" for now.

More flying, more meditation, more avoiding monsters, more squadrons going towards Goldport.

A good pastime is watching Klein's Holly flying around. It soars over fields of grass, then flowers, then berry bushes, then pastures for animals. Glorampina is so much safer than even the eastern High Forest, but it's not as much of a rich or productive place in comparison.

For lunch, they stop amid a field of fragrant flowers, then they frolic in the grass until the farm's owner notices them and they quickly run away.

The glowing lights of the plants turn purple as night comes and we land inside a huge tree that seems more like a multi-story building without walls.

As soon as we land, we groan and stretch. We cast [Heal] on ourselves to help with the pain. It was a bit worse than riding a horse since the dinghy isn't as well-cushioned as the horses' saddles were and we had less freedom to move. We also spent more time in it than we did on the horses because we didn't get out to fight anything.

With a few short [Grow] casts, I create walls that will block any light from escaping and potentially giving away our position. I have no idea how the heretics found us, so I'm not taking any chances. I summon three earth and nature elementals each and establish a perimeter with the Hollys.

We prepare the bath and enjoy quite a lot of comfort from not having any humanoid or monster near us for a good long distance. This also means that the girls won't be heard, so I go ham.

-

We eat Brazillian Beirute again because it's light and we're feeling a little sick from the journey. Just like with a car, the constant shaking makes our muscles tired and our stomachs irritated.

After that, we have our usual cuddling time inside our tent. Ted, Suzy, and Roxanne coach Jarn in mana control. I use an earth elemental to learn more about "Spirit Eyes." Lina starts reading about a simple enchantment to create a vacuum inside Roxanne's workbench. Alissa and Hana practice [Mesmerizing Butterflies] again. Ciel and Aoi share fighting tips. Roxanne continues practicing with her [Water Spirit].

Ciel pushes Aoi back with her training spear and Aoi frowns. "I need a weapon," she says.

Ciel nods and says, "Yeah. Those claws are sharp, but they have very little reach. They'll only work against other clawed enemies or if you forgo your personal safety."

"We need weapons for her, then; I won't let her get wounded," I say.

"She needs something special. Her claws aren't the best for gripping and they can easily cut through the shaft of a spear," Hana says.

"Can she use a sword? That would be interesting to see," Alissa says.

"I'm great, so I need a greatsword!" Aoi exclaims and smirks.

Hana chuckles and says, "Not sure you have the 'Dexterity' for that. Halberds or poleaxes are probably your best bet."

"Bru~te!" Roxanne teases.

"So be it! I'm gonna give the heretics my Aoi Smash!" She moves to hit the ground with her fist, but I stop her with [Bind] before she damages the tent's floor. "Oh, sorry…"

"Control your anger. Let it fuel your actions only when you need it," Hana says, sternly and smacks Aoi's head.

"Oww…" Aoi moans cutely and reduces in size to small-Aoi. Through [Bind], I know that she barely felt it.

"Come on, let's continue," Ciel says and Aoi returns to big-Aoi.

I calmly watch them spar and Aoi tries to use a spear, but being bipedal and using her hands to fight is still very awkward for her.

Hmm… My mind space is rather calm…

"Roxanne, I think that I can try another [Bind] now," I say.

"OH! YES!" She shrieks and immediately pounces on me. Her [Water Spirit] dissipates into smoke. "Take control over my body, my master." She pokes my nose with the tip of her finger and kisses my cheek.

"You don't get to call him 'master,'" Lina says with a mocked offense.

"Getting feisty, aren't you?" Roxanne asks with narrowed eyes. "You'll learn your lesson soon enough."

"I'll be waiting…" Lina smirks.

"Right… Uh, I'm doing it," I say and cast [Bind].

I bring Roxanne's soul into my mind space and a fourth "string" appears, then I pull on it and pick up her "blanket" so I can dive inside her mind in search for her "talking area."

The images that I see bring a lot of pain into my already wounded heart. Betrayal, abuse, loss, danger, and loneliness. She didn't have an easy life.

An image catches my attention. Like many others, this one is strong and vivid… too vivid. I see a man that pushes her down with a sickening smile on his face, then he gropes her breast. His head explodes in the next moment and the image goes dark.

I nearly stop and lose myself inside her mind. I shake my non-existent head and try to forget what I saw. This is too personal… but the images still don't give me any rest.

I'm assaulted with images of a stern-looking woman extremely similar to Roxanne, likely her mother. Fear radiates from these images. So much fear that I almost stop and go back.

Then I see a melanistic succubus woman, so dark that she's eerie. She's right on the top level of beauty and sexiness, but she still loses to Ciel and Osaria. There's something very alluring about her, though…

Feeling annoyed at almost losing myself in her memories again, I continue on and manage to ignore the memories of a Goros man that comes after that.

I get a glimpse of a bubbly ginger-like woman with a wide and bright smile. This glimpse makes my resolve falter for a moment and the images of her naked body flood my mind. That's likely to be Mithra, her late fiancée.

I resume ignoring all the images and after what feels like a long trek, I finally reach her "talking area" and immediately pull it back with me. I return to my mind space with her "talking string" and sigh internally.

Her memories are so much stronger than the other girls… Is it her lower "Sanity" at work? Hana's memories have much more "intensity," but they weren't nearly as difficult to push away as Roxanne's.

I wonder how the inside of my mind is, then…

"Roxanne?" I ask her through [Bind].

Her eyes light up and she kisses my cheek again, then she rubs her head against my cheek and her floppy, elastic horns slap me in the face. "Yes~! I'm here!"

Her happiness seeps through the [Bind] and I find it oddly… childish…

"Oh, how innocent your heart is," I comment and feel her pout, but her eyes narrow dangerously. "I can read your heart, you need to control yourself better."

"Easier said than done!"

"Calm yourself and concentrate."

"I think we need a rule against mind conversations," Ciel complains.

"Agreed," Lina says while pouting.

"Sure. Unless there's a good reason for it, then all conversations need to be spoken aloud," I say.

Roxanne takes a little longer to control herself before my mind space starts to return to being calm and quiet again. There is that "itch" to pull on Roxanne's string again, just like with the other girls, but it'll go away in a few days.

Then I continue studying the earth elemental "Spirit Eyes," but I don't make any meaningful progress before we go to sleep.