《Meet The Freak》Chapter Seventy

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Wallace

I sat on the couch with the communication book in my lap, staring at Simon's page.

The last thing I'd sent to him was the general message I put out saying I was taking some time away from the hotel. The last thing he'd sent me was his bitching about me dodging my responsibilities.

No messages had passed between us since then. Indeed, I hadn't sent messages to anyone else. As far as the rest of the world knew, the hotel was still under stewardship while I was off having a great adventure.

I heard a rustle of sheets and turned to see Val sitting up in bed, covering her yawn with one dainty hand.

Her long purple hair was in disarray, and great volumes of it draped over her shoulders or fell forward to cover the right side of her chest. The tattoo hadn't changed her build, and she was still slim enough that it seemed as if there was more hair than fey sitting among the sheets, but I could already see she held herself with more confidence.

"What time is it?" she mumbled.

"Almost noon."

"Good gods, I don't think I've ever slept that soundly."

"Feeling better?"

She let out a dreamy sigh, "My whole body aches. I think I pulled something lifting the piano, and my hips are so sore that I'm not sure if they're in the same shape anymore."

I rolled my eyes, "I'm glad you're happy."

"I don't suppose I can tempt you back into bed?" she asked as she brushed back the hair that fell across her chest.

"Maybe tonight. Amity's making lunch, and I'd like the chance to sit down with the others."

"Fine," Val glowered, "But you've got to help me with all this," she insisted as she ran a hand through her hair, "You're the reason it's in such a state, and I wasn't joking about pulling something."

"Alright, but maybe take it easy in the future?"

Val rolled out of bed and stood up on shaky legs, "This thing is supposed to make me as strong as you," she protested, giving the handprint a hard slap.

"Yeah, and I would have pulled something chucking it off the balcony."

"Mmm, still worth it. Gods, you have no idea how good that felt."

"I think I can guess."

Val put a finger to her lips, "Though I suppose I'll need to come up with a new prop now that I've finished with the piano."

"You know we have a bed?"

"Maybe something with leather this time," Val continued pondering as she headed for the bathroom.

I've created a monster.

I followed Val into the bathroom, where I already heard the faucet running to fill the tub.

I helped Val sort out her hair and dodged her giggling attempts to splash water on me to soak my clothes. It took a lot longer than it should have, but I'm not about to pretend I didn't enjoy Val's attempts to coerce me into the bath.

"Hey, big man," Cassius called as Val and I entered the hotel's private bar, "When are the rest of us getting superpowers?"

"You can do magic," I protested.

I could hear Amity moving about in the kitchen, but the rest of the team, Amora and Baroness Constance included, were seated around one of the tables. Though Regina reclined on a large leather ottoman as she wasn't about to fit on a chair.

"Yeah, and that was pretty cool until I saw Val throw a piano off the roof. For some reason."

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"I dislike pianos," Valentine provided.

Cassius spread his hands, "She dislikes pianos, she says. Sure, why not?"

A few of them shuffled over, with Constance rising from her seat in the booth to take one of the chairs on the other side of the table so I'd have enough space to sit down.

"I am also interested," Phoebe put in, "Though I think I'd prefer a more appropriate design."

Cassius furrowed his brows and glanced between Phoebe and Val, "What did you get?"

Val bit her lip and looked at me side-eye, "Mine's a handprint, I'd show you, but the placement is a tad personal."

Cassius raised his eyebrows and regarded me with a wry expression, "Your girlfriend is into some weird shit."

"Go on," Amora prompted with an excited grin, "Where is it?"

"Well," Val hesitated for a moment, but I knew she couldn't help herself, "It's right here on my hip, where Wally's hand would be if-"

"What the hell?" Cassius asked.

"Mute button."

Cassius and Phoebe both began speaking at once, "I need one of those for-"

They eyed each other, and I'm pretty sure Phoebe kicked Cassius under the table.

Val jabbed me in the ribs, and I relented.

"It's so good to see the two of you getting along," Amity giggled as she approached the table with a pair of trays.

Though I wasn't sure if she was referring to Val and me or Cassius and Phoebe.

I leaned back and waited as Amity brought out the food. She had to take a couple of trips, what with the crowd, before finally taking a seat next to Regina.

"Amity, Cassius was just asking about tattoos for the rest of the team," I explained, "And yeah, there's no reason it shouldn't be possible. As long as you've got the materials," I added, addressing Felicity.

She shrugged, a slightly worried expression on her face, "There might be?"

"Well, leave me out of it. What about then?"

"Myself as well," Regina added, "As with Lord Wallace, strength is not one of my failings. And I believe Amity is already as strong as either of us."

Amity nodded her agreement, and Felicity tilted her head side to side, still a little unsure.

"We might have just enough then. Though we'd be fresh out of diamond."

"I can live with that."

Cassius took a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and slid it across the table, "Good, because I already know what I want mine to be."

There were three intersecting lines placed at equidistant angles, and slightly off-centre from where they met was placed a sunburst. On each of the lines on the side away from the sunburst was a little circle.

"Firestorm," I said, recognizing the symbol.

"It was that or Mister Terrific, and I don't think Phoebe would be cool with me getting a big T tattooed on my face in silver."

"Firestorm?" Val asked.

"Mister Terrific," Phoebe frowned.

Amora leaned back and stared up at the ceiling, "Nerds!" she howled.

"Oh right, you're from Earth, aren't you?" Cassius grinned.

"You know, I was just about to say something about me coming to the right place. Wallace, good lord man, you are a very beautiful man for one so enormous. Mmm, and there's just so much of you. And the thing with the handprint? Being able to silence little Valentine here at will? Delightfully kinky. But now I find the only two men here, despite outward appearances, are a couple of huge nerds."

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"Hey, at least I'm not blushing like a little girl," Cassius insisted defensively.

I pointed at Cassius, fingers spread, "You totally are."

"Oh yeah? How could you even tell?"

"Hey, fuck you, man. Batman could kick Firestorm's ass."

Cassius jabbed a finger at me, "Bullshit, the Firestorm matrix lets the holder-"

"The Firestorm matrix is only any good if the guy driving it knows what he's doing."

"Jason Rusch is super smart and shit. Batman wouldn't have a chance. Jason would nuke his ass or transmute all the air into VX gas or something."

"Please, Batman would obviously have a gas mask."

"He'd just transmute the gas mask away."

"Only if he could see Batman to do it. You don't think the Dark Knight is going to have a hard time hiding from a guy with fire coming out the top of his head. Firestorm is super strong, whatever. But he doesn't react any faster than a normal guy, which means he reacts a hell of a lot slower than Batman."

"Firestorm has quark vision! Batman can do his whole 'I am the night' bullshit all he wants. Firestorm's got his number."

"Yeah, but he doesn't have it on all the time. By the time he realizes he should have been paying attention, Batman would have kicked his ass."

"Bullshit, Batman doesn't even kill people. How are you gonna imprison a guy who can just turn the prison to nitrogen?"

"Fine then, Midnighter."

Cassius threw up his hands, expression incredulous, "Midnighter? Midnighter? That's the best you can come up with, the guy who runs around in a spiked gimp suit? That Midnighter?"

"What the hell is wrong with Midnighter?" I demanded.

"He's just gay Batman who kills people. That makes him boring as hell."

"He's gay Batman who kills people and fucks gay Superman, that makes him awesome. Also, he's got a computer in his brain that'll tell him whatever Firestorm is going to do before he does it."

"Boys, as entertaining as I'm sure we all find your debate-" Phoebe began.

"I don't know," Val interrupted, "This fellow with spiked gimp suit sounds interesting."

"Mister Terrific would shut down gay Batman's brain-computer bullshit in a heartbeat," Cassius added.

"I-" Phoebe tried to continue, but Val spoke over her.

"Hulk would smash all of them," she insisted.

"Hulk? Seriously?" Cassius frowned, "Nah, actually, that makes sense. That's Marvel, though, not DC."

Phoebe put her elbows on the table with her head in her hands.

"Yes, superheroes, they come from Marvel movies, do they not?"

"Nah, those are just the ones we have. DC's a whole 'nother universe."

"I think we have a copy of Justice League," I mused.

"Add that to the list of shit Val should throw off the roof."

"Justice League is... fine. It's fine."

"Man, I got all excited to see Cyborg in live-action, and then he's hardly in the damn movie. There's another guy who'd fuck up Midnighter's lame brain-computer."

"You'd think that the multiverse is big enough that we'd eventually find stuff from a world where DC can make a good film franchise, but I guess not."

"You know who Val would really like?" Cassius prompted, "She-Hulk."

"She-Hulk?" Val asked, "Who's She-Hulk?"

"Please, dear god," Phoebe all but begged.

I spread my hands, "I thought you guys watched the Marvel movies together?"

"Yes, and I quite liked them. But they do not consume my life."

"I don't know if it consumes my life," Cassius objected.

"Yeah, I mean, there's DC as well."

"And anime," he added.

"Could we please get back on topic?" Phoebe pleaded.

"Topic? We're having lunch. There's a topic?" I asked.

Phoebe raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, right. I'm not doing the Lord thing anymore. I know I was kinda halfway on it, but it's no way to run things. Each of us is knowledgeable about something. You've all got some idea of what that is for yourselves. Well, good news, now that's the part of the hotel you're in charge of. And if there's something that affects all of us, then we can come together to talk about it as a group."

"But Wallace," Phoebe protested- she'd been aware I had something to say, but not the specifics- "You know as much as any of us on a great many things. It would be foolish not to do as you say."

"And in that case, you can ask for my help. But if you do what I suggest, it'll be because you think it's the right thing to do and because you trust I know what I'm talking about. Not because I'm the Lord of anything. Besides, Cassius grew up in the same world I did. Only difference is I'm a lot taller, and I happened to find the place first."

Amora shook her head, "That's hardly the only difference. What about your godhead? Are you going to give that up as well?"

Val speared a bit of pancake with her fork, "Oh no, I'm not going anywhere," she replied absently before taking a bite.

Phoebe had paused to take a drink after speaking, and she scrambled to gather up a fistful of napkins as Val's comment sent water streaming from her nose.

"Sorry, oh, my apologies," she stammered as she rushed to clean up the mess.

Cassius spread his hands, a look of absolute bewilderment on his face, "What the fuck is she talking about?"

I took my hand away from my bright red face, "Like how Amora's the god of love. Small g. I told them I was the god of patience."

"But- How?" Amora sputtered.

"It's just magic. Same thing everyone else here can do."

I caught Constance grimace out the corner of my eye.

Ah damn, I'm sorry.

"Though I think you'll find Wally is remarkably patient. Frequently too patient," Val added wryly.

"Damn you," Amora sighed.

"Does it change anything?" I asked honestly.

Amora grimaced and shrugged, "No," she admitted.

"Then I'm sorry for being dishonest, but there was kind of a lot going on in the city, if you recall."

"I suppose I'm hardly in a position to criticize."

"The question remains," Phoebe observed, "How do we represent ourselves to those outside the fortress?"

"Well, we're still radio silent for now. I don't want Simon finding out second hand that we're back. So we've got some time to nail down the details. I imagine we'll keep things simple. How we run ourselves isn't that important to anyone outside, all they really need to know is who speaks for us and how much authority they have to make decisions."

"So we appoint an ambassador?" Phoebe suggested.

"Yeah. You, me, Regina, Constance, whoever."

Constance sat up straighter in her chair, a look of surprise on her face, "You'd appoint me to speak for you?"

"You're good at the whole inter-personal thing. And you were a Baroness. Are a Baroness? Whatever, people are familiar with you in a position of authority, not to mention you're familiar with authority yourself. We'd vote on it, but yeah, I don't see why you wouldn't be high on the list."

"I certainly don't want the job," Val added, "Which means you're the only one with a proper title who does."

"You're part of the team now. Sometimes that means digging a garden because a garden needs digging, and sometimes that means playing ambassador."

"Well, thank you, Wallace. Though I doubt that anyone in Regina's presence would doubt her authority."

"Perhaps," Regina rumbled, "But sometimes a lighter touch is necessary."

"I'm just surprised you managed to convince a bunch of people you're a god," Cassius nodded appreciatively.

"Mmm, I'm not," Val grinned.

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