《How Do You QA Test a Tsundere Android!?》Test 21: Office Risks
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I arrive in the company at 8:43, a little earlier than I aimed for. After researching and calculating the routes of public transportation, this is as close as I can get to arriving at 9:00 without being late.
I pass my ID card by the entrance and the door opens.
I pass my card by the elevator and press on floor 6.
Once on the floor, I pass my card to enter the Artificial Imprinting department.
Then FINALLY, I need to pass my card in front of the office to open it. What’s next? Using the card to breathe?
The door of my office obediently opens. Seems like Eric sorted out my authorization, at least he wasn’t too lazy to do that much.
The air inside the room is thick and unpleasant. After putting down my backpack, I step out of the office and head toward room 631. It’s one office away from my own, a walk which takes but a couple of seconds.
The office’s door is wide open so I casually peek inside. There are three tables, but currently only one of them is occupied. The guy sitting there looks familiar, I think I saw him in Eric's room yesterday.
"Um... can I borrow the air conditioner remote?"
"Hm? What's wrong, man? Ran out of batteries?"
The guy turns to me with a smile.
"No, I'm from the QA team and I sorta... don't have a remote."
"Oh, you're that new guy Eric was talking about."
He nods to himself and continues.
"The name’s Gary."
"Nick."
I approach his table to shake hands.
"So you're the only one on the QA?"
"Yeah... that's how it is."
"Haha, that's pretty neat, man. You have such a big office all for yourself."
"I'm... not really sure I need such a big one."
This guy is acting way too familiar to my taste. Can I go now? I have a daughter to wake up...
"If you have any questions, you can ask us veterans."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"Though, in most cases we'll end up asking Eric anyway so that might be faster, haha."
So helpful! Pro worker!
"I'll return it right away."
I pick up the remote and Gary nods to me with a smile. I return to my office, turn on the air conditioner and then bring the remote back to room 631.
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"Hang in there, man. I heard they are planning to bring more people to QA soon."
Gary catches me with his words before I manage to flee. This guy is too chatty, doesn't he have any work to keep him occupied?
Thinking of it, Eric also mentioned that more people will join the QA team sooner or later; it means that my monopoly over Lily will not last forever. Therefore, I must make the most out of the current situation...!
I return my office with quick strides and pick up Lily’s remote.
CLICK
Lily slowly raises to a sitting position, then slips down from the bed. She spots me and smiles in excitement.
"Papa!"
tap tap tap
She runs toward me with a big, cute smile; she's remarkably deredere today.
Just as I think that, she stops a meter away and crosses her arms.
"H-hmph, it's not like I was waiting for you or anything."
Realizing her earlier dere slip up, Lily quickly dons the tsuntsun mask. I'm relieved that she's exactly the same as yesterday, acting tsundere and remembering me as her papa.
It's probably a good idea to visit Eric and ask what's on today schedule. But my phone currently displays 8:50; I could spend at least ten more minutes with Lily without appearing “late” for work.
I walk to the sofa and sit down.
tap tap tap
Lily follows after me with small steps and sits down beside me.
"Want to play word chain again?"
Let's check if she remembers this game from yesterday.
"Okay, let's play! I'll definitely beat you!"
She clenches little fists with a spirited smile. Hopefully her confidence isn't just for show and she really remembers how to play.
"I'll begin then: Rabbit."
"... Talking!"
"Garage."
".. Egg!"
"Ah, er... garage."
Her swift responses catch me unprepared, so I accidentally throw a word which was used just a moment ago. She's as good as she was yesterday, if not better.
".. Elephant!"
Sadly, same as yesterday, she fails to notice my cheating. She has blind faith in me and assumes that my answers would always be truthful.
We finish two long sessions, both ended with my triumph. To the very end, she couldn't expose my cheating.
Currently, the reason she keeps losing lies in her flawed memory. After playing for a while, she tends to forget a word which was used before and recycles it - leading to her own demise.
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Interestingly, her memory seems to "expire" at bigger and bigger intervals between games. She must be somehow allocating more memory to the game after each defeat.
"Yes! I won!"
I hand her the third game, just because I'm tired and rather see her smile. I pat her on the head, a gesture which she accepts happily and sincerely.
"H-hmph."
... almost sincerely.
Since I'm already fed up with word chain by now, it's time to bring in the REAL stuff.
"Wait here a second."
"Hm?"
She tilts her head and looks at me with curious eyes. I skip toward my backpack and fish for the ultimate plaything. Behold, the Lego!
"Say, have you seen Eric?"
"W-wah!"
W-who?!
I immediately stuff the lego back into my bag and turn around. The one standing at the door is Gary, with his plastic, friendly smile.
D-did he see it? N-nah, the plastic bag is red and all, he couldn't see the insides... he definitely didn't, did he?
"E-Eric? N-nope, haven't seen him."
"Man, where's that guy? Thanks for the help anyway."
Gary sighs and leaves.
"Hah... hah..."
My heart is beating violently and my breathing is unstable.
He almost caught me with Lego. I almost became the laughing stock of the whole department.
Yesterday, nobody passed by this room other than Eric. It made me forget an important factor: humans.
If someone here sees me playing Lego with Lily, what would they think? Would I be able to convince them that I'm just QA testing...?
Fat chance.
They wouldn’t understand my genius QA testing strategy. One part of me wants to dump the suicidal lego idea, but another part is too curious to back down.
“Papa...?”
Lily tilts her head and blinks a couple of times.
F-fine, I’ll muster courage and give it a shot. For the sake of teaching my cute daughter how to play the masterpiece that is lego, I’ll put my neck on the block.
The office’s door can be closed from outside, but can it be closed from inside? I approach the door and check the two walls on its sides.
The wall to my right has a card reader.
BEEP
I pass the card and the door closes.
BEEP
I pass the card again and the door opens. Perfect.
Next, I need to secure a playground for Lily where she wouldn’t draw too much attention to herself. Naturally, the rear of the office and its partitions draw my attention.
As I examine the first two office tables, I spot computers on them; pretty sure they weren’t here yesterday.
I walk further into the room and check the two partitions in the rear. This area behind the partitions is great, it’s impossible to see what’s happening all the way out here from the entrance.
Now that I have all the chess pieces in my hand, I shall begin executing my masterplan.
“Hey.”
“E-eh?!”
A voice creeps to me from the entrance.
“O-oh, hi.”
I quickly turn around and try to smile. Nothing to see here! No Lego schemes are being crafted!
The one at the door is Eric, looking as worn out as yesterday.
“I had an early meeting on another floor, but now I can spare you some time.”
He walks into the room and throws Lily a look.
“Already started working? Didn’t expect you to turn this brat on of your own accord.”
Of course I’d wake up my daughter, what is he even talking about?
“As you probably have already noticed, they installed your comp.”
“Yeah, I saw. They installed two of them.”
We walk toward the partitions and then toward the desks.
“You haven’t turned them on yet?”
“I first wanted to confirm whether I should touch them.”
“I see.”
He boots the computer and sits down on the chair.
“Bring a chair, I’ll show you the basics about Anomalia’s portal and what you can find in there.”
I drag a chair from a nearby partition, toward the desk which was determined to be mine without my consent.
“...”
While carrying the chair, my eyes meet Lily’s gaze. She’s still obediently sitting on the sofa, waiting for me to come back.
Her face wears a rather complex expression, which I can’t help but interpret as dissatisfaction. No doubt this little brat is pouting because I abandoned her without saying a word.
I feel like I should go over there and explain her the situation, but... would Eric think that’s odd? Why would the owner need to give excuses to his own android?
I dodge her eyes and sit down beside Eric. I think I heard a small “hmph” going in the background, but I pretend to not notice.
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