《The Riddle of Lead: Requiem of the Gun Knights》1-28: The Better to Hold You With

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The Gun Knight stood amidst the cavernous expanse of an underground training hall. Gunsmoke rose in a low spiral around him, tumbling upwards into the air, losing coherence and fading away. The smell of cordite hung in the air, and the ring of the gunshots still echoed in the distance. Less than five seconds had passed since the Goblin "Bandits" had leapt into action, and now they had collapsed to a man, each felled by a single shot.

Rathus stood and tipped his hat in a dramatic fashion.

"So..." he asked, "how many points was that worth?"

The official stared in stunned silence at the instantly-resolved encounter, then reached up to adjust his glasses, which had come unsettled when he definitely didn't cringe in fear at the Gun Knight's earlier shots.

"Er..." he began, looking down at the clipboard.

"For Offense... one hundred points out of one hundred."

The Gun Knight gave the humblest smug smile that he could, standing casually and hooking his thumbs into his belt.

"For Defense... no rating. So, the default score of fifty points out of a hundred."

Rathus paused.

"For Teamwork... "

Rathus sighed. "No rating, I'm guessing?"

"Actually, nobody attacked anybody else, and you're all still alive, so seventy-five points."

Rathus nodded thoughtfully. That was fair enough. The official continued.

"For Battlefield Control... no rating. So default of fifty."

"Hold on, now," Rathus stopped him, holding his hand up. "I definitely controlled the battlefield. Half'a my shots were ricochets. You can Recall it if you don't believe me."

"Hm," the official said. "I didn't see that, unfortunately. I was looking at the clipboard when you started shooting."

Rathus clucked his tongue, and looked towards Mitras.

"How about you? You saw it, right?"

The Merrow woman shook her head. "I was looking..." she glanced at Artur, then away, shaking her head. "...somewhere else."

Rathus sighed, shrugging.

"Well... I'll give you 55," The official replied.

"And lastly... Style." The Merrow man adjusted his glasses, tapping his pen against the clipboard. "65."

Rathus shook his head in disappointment. He pulled his revolver out and started to reload it, when he saw motion out of the corner of his eye. He glanced up as he reloaded, to see Artur hovering over him, staring at him with stars in his eyes.

"Mr. McGaff, sir," he said, respectfully.

"Just call me Rathus," the Gun Knight replied quickly. He finished loading his gun and snapped it shut, placing it back into his Holdster.

"Mr. Rathus, sir," Artur corrected himself. "Do you need a squire?"

Rathus chuckled to himself. "Sorry, but I ain't that sort of Knight. Gun Knights don't take squires. Ya gotta go through the training course. It takes a couple years, then you gotta sign the Contract, and that's..."

Rathus looked at the Goblin corpses, lost in thought, and left his sentence unfinished. Artur didn't seem dissuaded.

"Okay, okay. Uh, do you need... a son?"

Rathus stared at the Orc, who was practically vibrating in his open admiration. The Gun Knight wasn't sure how to react to that. Artur was only a few years younger than him... probably. It was a bit hard to tell with Orcs, when even the shortest Orc man stood at about 6 feet.

"Uh..."

Artur flushed. "Sorry. That was a strange thing to say, wasn't it?"

"N-no, it's fine," Rathus stuttered. He was torn between being delighted that he apparently had a fan, and the awkward sensation of having somebody in awe of something you didn't consider particularly noteworthy. Did Musashi feel like this all the time? "How about we just stay friends?"

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Artur gasped quietly, staring at him in disbelief. "F-friends?"

Rathus hesitated. Had he somehow insulted the Adventurer? He was a little thrown by the young man's intensity. He was reminded vaguely of that assassin he'd met briefly.

"Mitras!" Artur shouted suddenly, "I've made a friend!" The Orc suddenly threw an arm around the Gun Knight, pulling him tight into a one-armed side-hug. He waved to the Star Mage with his free hand.

Mitras looked over and gave her excited companion an encouraging thumbs up, her face its usual expressionless mask.

"That was some great shooting," Artur confided to the Gun Knight, releasing him and dusting off the back of his coat. "I'm not much for guns myself, but after seeing that, maybe I should give them a try, huh?"

The Orc looked down at one of the Goblin's bodies and casually crouched down to rifle through its pockets. Rathus watched him silently as Mitras joined in, collecting the fallen weapons the "Brigands" had held.

"Hey! A potion!" Artur noted, pulling out a small vial of a glowing red liquid.

Ha handed it to Mitras, who turned and peered closely at it. She closed her eyes, which flickered beneath the lids as she Recalled.

"Healing Potion. Star Magic. Cheap Construction," she announced, after comparing it to a mental rolodex of other such brews.

"Cool! That'll come in handy!" Artur smiled, pocketing it. Mitras grabbed one last dagger from the ground, then stood and walked over to Rathus with an armful of weapons. She shifted her arms forward, holding them out to the Gun Knight.

He looked down at the stack, then politely waved the apparent offer away.

"No thanks, I'm good," he told her, patting his Holdster to indicate that he was doing fine on the weapons front.

"Carry," she instructed him. The Gun Knight felt a strange tugging at the back of his head when she spoke, and cocked his head to the side. "Wait. Are ya—"

The Merrow carefully dumped the weapon pile into his arms, interrupting his train of thought, and turned to move back towards the bodies. Rathus sighed, looking down at the pile of weapons.

"I've never been fond of looting," Rathus admitted. "Seems a bit morbid to steal from a dead man's corpse. Do we even need these, anyhow? Ain't they just wood?"

Artur nodded to himself as he flipped another Goblin over and pulled a small bag of coins out of a back pocket.

"I used to feel the same way, Mr. Rathus. But then I thought about it more, and it's kinda fair, y'know? Brigands kill people and still their things, we kill Brigands and steal their stuff. Some day, a Brigand, or a monster, or a police officer might kill us, and then someone else will steal our stuff."

"Circle of life," Mitras said, quietly pulling out a wooden statuette, which was marked with a label that said "Pure Silver." She held it up, and Artur grinned, pumping a fist.

"Hmm..." Ruth mused. "I suppose I'd never thought about it that way, before." She walked over to one of the bodies and hesitated, before crouching and grabbing the shield it had held, picking it up with three fingers and looking at it as if she expected it to spring to life and bite her.

"Besides," Artur continued, "When you get right down to it, they're dead. It's not like they're gonna need it anymore."

"They're Goblins," Rathus countered, as one of the bodies collapsed into dirt as if to highlight his point. "I'm pretty sure they're gonna want their things when they come back."

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Artur hesitated, looking at a deck of playing cards with the brand name Many Things."Hmm... I suppose you might be right."

"If this is expected to happen," Ruth replied, musing as she pulled a gold ring on a chain from a pile of dirt, "Would they bring their personal effects into this place? Wouldn't most of this equipment be things provided by the Adventuring Guild?"

"Looting is graded," Mitras replied. Ruth's eyes widened, and she set herself to sifting through the dirt with greater resolve, using a knife she'd procured from somewhere to avoid messying her hands.

Rathus shrugged, and shifted the pile of weapons onto one arm. "I ain't sure that I've got room in my pack for all of these. Do y'want me to just... haul them around the entire dungeon?"

Ruth stood up and walked over to the Gun Knight, unhooking the small velvet bag from her waist.

"I have a Bag of Holding, Rathus. Go ahead and place them in here." She held the bag up, drawing it open. The mouth of the bag yawned open much further than it reasonably should have been able to do, and Rathus shivered a bit as he saw the blank interdimensional space within the bag. For as convenient as it tended to be, dimensional effects were his least favorite form of Star Magic.

He carefully deposited the wooden knife into the bag, dropping it the last few inches. He was moving on to the wooden hand-axe, when he noticed the official checking a pocketwatch.

Artur whistled. "You got yourself a Bag of Holding, and you haven't even started as an Adventurer yet? Dang, your family must be loaded!"

Artur chuckled, then suddenly stiffened, quickly looking over to the official. "Oh, uh... I mean... of course he is, seeing as how, um, he's the King and all."

Ruth gave him a slow nod.

"On account of how you're a princess," he continued, louder and unconvincingly.

"Er... yes," Ruth replied. She was feeling a bit lost, standing there in confusion as Rathus continued to put weapons into her Bag of Holding.

"She's a princess," Artur told the official, pointing at her as casually as he could manage.

Artur looked over at the official, his eyes bulging, and sweat beading on his brow as he tried and failed to keep a poker face.

"... yes, I'm aware," the official replied.

Artur gave a huge sigh of relief and wiped his brow, looking at Ruth and arching his eyebrows as he successfully dodged the bullet. It didn't matter if the bullet had, in fact, never been loaded into the gun in the first place, he'd successfully dodged it all the same, and the relief was plain on his face.

He was headed back to one of the piles of dirt that had previously been a mock-bandit when the official snapped his pocketwatch shut and tucked it back into his pants pocket.

The official adjusted his tie, cleared his throat, and began to recite.

"While you are in, um... the heat of battle..." he realized that his script was a little off, as he looked at the team looting the long-dead bodies of their foes. Artur glanced towards him. The Orc was trying to see if one of the Goblin's masks would fit him, with little success. "...right. Uh, in the heat of battle, a sudden noise surprises you. You turn to find that the brigands have backup! A second set of 3d... 12 bandits leaps out to ambush you."

He looked towards an inconspicuous giant wooden horse in the corner of the room. Rathus stared at it in alarm. If he had to fight a second giant construct in as many days, he was going to, as a wise man once said, "flip his fucking lid."

Thankfully, the giant wooden horse didn't transform into a mecha, nor did it festoon with weapons. Instead, a hatch opened on the jackass's ass, and a goblin head wearing a paper plate for a mask poked out. The mask had holes cut for eyes, and helpfully had "BRIGND" printed on the front. The BRIGND shook her head quickly.

"Nae. Dinnae wan t'tangle wit dae Kneight."

"Oh, come on!" the official said, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "Dying is your entire job. What are you scared of?"

"Aye? Ye goan an do it, fin it's so easy."

The Merrow sighed, rubbing his temple with two fingers. "Look, there are two already-licensed Adventurers and a Gun Knight. Think of the bonus you'd get if you take one out."

The head withdrew into the horse's rear end, and a heated discussion took place. It was far enough away that Rathus could only catch every few words, and Goblin enough that it was nearly incomprehensible through the accents.

The Gun Knight turned back and handed one of the wooden knives to Ruth, before dumping the rest of the training weapons into her Bag of Holding.

"Do y'think they're gonna—"

As if to preempt Rathus, the hatch at the back of the horse slammed down to the floor, and a dozen Goblins came charging out, wielding a variety of weapons. Rathus dropped into his Battle Trance, scrutinizing them.

Six frontliners: two with handaxes and shields, one with a wooden hammer, three spearmen, and one with carrying a wooden dai-greatclub, a massive hunk of wood easily four times her size, as large as two Ruths. She turned and he noticed was she was the BRIGND from earlier, the one with the paper plate mask. He quickly marked her as an elite.

Besides the front-liners, he marked two skirmishers, one wielding a wooden quarterstaff, the ends shod with more wood (as metal would be unsafe for training). The other had a pair of knives, and was pouring a black, ink-like liquid on the blade, from an inkwell which had a label slapped on indicating that it was "POISSON." Rathus watched them warily. They were sticking about the edge of the battlefield, but it smelled fishy to Rathus. Best to keep an eye on them.

Of the remaining four, one of them he clearly marked as a Namer. They were wearing the standard robes, and held a book out front of them. It was mostly a prop, considering a Goblin could only learn the names of things which fell under the Prime Name of Earth, such as rocks, sand, dust, and so forth. A Book of Names was useless to them.

Another was wearing a massive Wizard hat, and carried a staff. The wizard hat looked like it was made for a standard-sized Human, and so dwarfed the Goblin to such an extent that Rathus wasn't sure if it had any Dessite features that might mark it as a Star Mage in truth, or if this was another prop, like the wooden weaponry.

The last two were carrying an enormous arbalest together. The front of the giant crossbow was balanced on the head of the first Goblin, while a second goblin behind lifted the back-end of the weapon, with a basket-like quiver of massive bolts on his back.

Rathus rested his hand on his revolver. Offense, defense, teamwork, battlefield control, style... Well, teamwork was easy. He turned towards Artur and opened his mouth to speak, when the Orc raised his axe, eyes blazing.

"Alright, gang! Let's do this! Ruth!"

The princess jerked and looked over at the Orc in surprise.

"Use your Naming to raise a stone wall! There!"

He pointed to a spot on the ground a dozen feet or so in front of the princess.

"I... okay!" she shouted back. She took a stance, closing her eyes and holding her hands out as she focused. There was a loud twang, and her eyes snapped open to see the padded point of an arrow-sized bolt hovering in front of her face. The arrow itself was held firm in the grip of the Gun Knight, who glanced over his shoulder at her before hurling the arrow back towards one of the bandits. The goblin raised a shield to block it, but the force of the throw still sent them reeling backwards.

Ruth stared up in surprise as the Gun Knight moved away from her, drawing his gun. She... almost just died. If she hadn't had the protection of a superhuman bodyguard, and if the arrow had been a real arrow, and if it had hit her... she would have been dead. Just like that. The realization sent her heart pounding, and locked up her legs.

This wasn't her first brush with death. She'd had two such encounters even just on this journey. The first time, when Nina had attacked them in the woods. The second time, in that town, Ankle, when she'd gone up on the mountain with the Gun Knight. Right before that, she'd had to eat peasant food. Oh, and then Nina attacked her again, she supposed.

But somehow, none of them had really seemed real. Perhaps because she'd not really been a participant. It mostly seemed to be something happening around her, like a particularly immersive stage show. But this... she was directly involved. If she made the wrong mode, she might die. Somebody else might die. Worst of all, she might fail her Adventurer test, which would be really embarrassing.

"Ruth!" Artur shouted, snapping her out of her thoughts. "We need a wall!"

"R-right," she said. "Um..."

"Just focus on what needs to be done next," Rathus told her, looking over his shoulder. "If you just focus on that, you won't have any room for worries or fear."

"I— I'm not afraid, Rathus!" she shouted, her cheeks flushing. "I was j-just taking in the situation."

The Gun Knight grunted, and aimed his revolver, firing twice at the Goblins wielding the Arbalest. A blur of green and brown intercepted the shots, as the Goblin wielding the dai-greatclub whirled around to deflect the bullets, her entire body swinging with the inertia of the club. Rathus's free hand shot up, and he snatched the bullets out of the air as the rocketed back towards him. The impact stung his palms. That... was hard enough to actually kill somebody, if they hit right. Was this really meant to be an encounter for a newbie adventurer?

The Goblin spearmen were charging Artur, who was standing protectively in front of Mitras. The Merrow woman clung to his back, her hands on his shoulders. She said nothing, but stared at the enemies, her eyes flashing purple as she clung tighter to the Orc's back.

Artur lifted his axe and held it out to the side.

"Mitras!" he shouted. The Star Mage nodded, and placed her fingertips against the weapon.

"Returning Weapon," she Cast, and magic flowed over her, her eyes flashing purple as energy shimmered over the weapon, before fading away.

"Rathus!" Artur commanded, looking towards the Gun Knight with firm eyes. "Focus fire on the archers!"

Rathus glanced at the elite, who was waiting to intercept his shots. He could... probably get around her with a few well-placed ricochets, but... he glanced around the battlefield as the action moved in slow motion, and came to the same realization Artur had.

The Gun Knight aimed at the ground to his right, firing twice, then once towards the ceiling, and a final shot straight at the Goblin elite. The clubhopper leapt into action, whirling the club around to intercept three shots in a single swing, before dropping down to slam her club into the ground with a mighty, earthquaking blow that just barely managed to deflect the bullet. It whizzed past her, its course knocked aside, to miss the siege engine Goblins by a few feet.

The elite Brigand, panting with the sudden exertion, shot a defiant glance up at Rathus, eyes blazing behind her paper plate. Sudden movement caught her attention, and she turned just in time to see her spearmen bisected by the whirling axe that Artur had thrown while she was distracted. The weapon curved through the air, propelled by Star Magic back towards the Adventurer, who raised his hand and caught it easily from the air.

The elite snarled at them, and jerked her fingers towards Ruth, whistling. Ruth grit her teeth, and raised her hands into the air, opening her mouth to Speak

"STONE!" she Said, and at her command a wall of stone launched up from the ground, 5 feet high and growing wider, the rock raising out to both directions like an undulating wave. Another completely harmless, perfectly safe padded arrow crashed into the stone, cracking it and exploding into splinters.

Mitras was standing behind Artur, her hand on his shoulder, as she pointed out a skirmisher trying to flank around them.

"There," she said, her eyes flashing purple. She stepped back, and Artur took a step towards the brigand. The Gun Knight glanced over as he fired another few shots at the elite, keeping her on her toes as she protected her fellow Brigands from his bullets. He turned to focus his attention on his opponents, then did a double-take as Artur suddenly blurred across the battlefield, slamming into and through the flanking skirmisher with a mighty sweep of his axe.

Rathus stopped entirely, staring in surprise at the display. He wasn't alone, as a few other other bandits were staring in stunned silence at the Orc. The Adventurer cut an impressive figure as the blood rained down around him, the bisected top half of the assassin brigand spiraling through the air. Rathus hadn't expected much from him, so to see him move like that...

Rathus glanced over at Mitras, who was staring, starry-eyed at Artur. She beamed with pride and adoration as the axeman shouldered his weapon and came blurring back. Rathus raised an eyebrow. Was she...?

"LIGHTNING BOLT!" a Goblin voice Cast, as the Wizard Hat brigand suddenly thrust out towards the Gun Knight. Rathus watched, disbelieving, as the Goblin sent their attack towards him. He could only watch in numbed silence as the spell hit him square in the chest. Nobody could outrun lightning, it was said. Of course, this would have mattered more if it was actually lightning that had been shot at him. The Gun Knight stared at the rubber ball that had impacted his chest as it rolled away across the ground. Confusion filled his mind.

"Rathus McGaff," the official called out, "Disqualified."

Rathus glanced at the rubber ball, then at the official.

"Excuse me?" he asked, staring in distaste at the official while casually catching another bolt out of the air.

The official jabbed towards the ball with the end of his pen. "You were hit with a Lightning Bolt spell. You didn't bother trying to deflect it or dodge. Therefore, you are dead."

"I'm gonna need to invoke that uh, Article five, then," he said, hooking his thumbs behind his belt. The action froze, as the brigand-impersonators halted while the challenge was resolved. Artur also froze in place, his weapon held high overhead as he menaced a Goblin who was frozen mid-cringe, helplessly clutching the shattered haft of a sundered axe.

The official scoffed. "You do realize what Article five means, right? It's not just a get-out-of-fail-free card. You need to prove your claims in order for it to be valid."

"Yeah," Rathus replied. "I know."

"Which means you would need to be shot directly with a Lightning Bolt spell."

"I already said I know," the Gun Knight spat.

The elite lifted her paper mask to stare at him, her red eyes boggling.

"Yer feckin' daft."

Rathus sighed, crossing his arms and looking at the various expressions of the people around him as they reacted to his casual request to fuck his shit up. "Look, would ya mind hurryin' this along? I've got things I need to get done today."

The Merrow man adjusted his glasses. "Well... alright, then... I'd need to find somebody actually capable of casting Lightning Bolt first."

Mitras raised her hand.

The official stared at her. "You can cast Lightning Bolt?" he asked, incredulously.

The Star Mage nodded simply, her eyes determined.

"Well," the official said. "I suppose that saves us some time. Go ahead and cast it at the Gun Knight."

Mitras turned towards Rathus, her eyes lighting up as she lifted her staff. Rathus watched her face, a sense of unease coming over him.

"You seem uh, pretty eager to cast that," the Gun Knight noted.

"Yes," Mitras replied. After a short delay, she elaborated. "I like Lightning Bolt."

"Oh, that's..."

"Lightning Bolt," Mitras Cast, aiming her staff towards the Gun Knight. A storm of blue lightning erupted from the tip of her staff, its bright light casting the room in a blinding light, reducing all colors of the dungeon into shades of blues and whites, with deep shadows cast from each person's figure. The electricity shot forwards and grounded itself on the Gun Knight, coruscating over him as it blasted him a few feet back with the sheer force of the spell. As soon as it made impact, the light flashed even brighter, like somebody had brought the very sun into the room itself, or else had opened their phone to a site using Light Mode.

The Gun Knight staggered back as steam and then smoke rose from his skin. His muscles twitched and jittered under his skin, his heart syncopating as the Lightning passed through him. He fell to one knee, and the Lightning locked the joint into place as it dissipated through him. The spell ended with a sonic boom, which shook the very walls of the chamber. The light faded as quickly as it appeared, leaving the chamber unnaturally dark, as the eyes attempted to adjust back to the normal light levels.

The Goblins stared on in shocked silence, at the blackened crater where the Gun Knight had been standing. The stone was charred black and cracked, smoke rising and rock cracking as it cooled. But the Gun Knight had not fallen. Down one knee, Rathus McGaff panted, his skin searing in pain. He put it out of his mind, thinking back to Master Savage's special coal-juggling training sessions. Before the horrified eyes of the attending Adventurers and faux-brigands, the Gun Knight stood.

Ash coated his armor and clothing, and his skin was red and blistering, where it wasn't also covered in soot. The Gun Knight turned and slowly regarded the official, his shoulders and head smoking. His eyes seemed to burn, as if the lightning had ignited his very soul. The Gun Knight opened his mouth, and croaked out a single sentence.

"Are we good to keep going?"

The official dropped his clipboard in horror, stepping back as Rathus gingerly fished a healing potion out of his potion pouch.

"Uhm..." the official stammered, his throat dry. "Y-yeah, go ahead, man."

The Gun Knight popped the cork from his potion and drained it in one go.

"Good," he said, then disappeared, blurring off in a sudden beeline for the elite clubhopper. She jerked back, startled, and yanked her mask down, before spinning away from the Gun Knight, bringing the dai-greatclub around in a mighty blow. Rathus easily slid under it, arriving at the Goblin's feet. She reared back as he ducked under her reach, but couldn't move fast enough to avoid being seized around the neck. Rathus leaped into the air, hauling her behind him. Her grip was torn from the dai-greatclub, which whirled through the air and rolled towards the arbalest Goblins. They scattered, running out of the way of the giant weapon, temporarily thrown into disarray.

"Frost Spear," Mitras cast, blasting spears of ice towards the staff-wielding Goblin, as Artur shield-bashed another axe-brigand. the force of the blow blasting the Goblin backwards into the air. Rathus stepped off the Goblin as it flew, gaining a bit of extra height to reach out and grasp one of the conveniently-placed chandeliers. Rathus swung, ignoring the Goblin as she gnawed at his arm, and released at the apex of his swing, hurtling up and across the bridge. He twisted as he fell, bringing his captive ahead of him, and slammed her into the wall with a mighty blow that shattered the masonry, and sent it scattering forwards.

Rathus landed and looked up, past the shattered remains of the elite Goblin, to see a small alcove, complete with a chest.

"Well, look at that," he pointed out, to the horrified mage-Brigand, who he had landed nearby. "I found a secret room."

The Goblin shook in fear as it backed up, and fell backwards onto its rear end. Rathus looked down at the Goblin and brushed the ash off his armor. The Goblin was paralyzed with fear, holding its hands up plaintively.

"Ah... Ah'm nae meant t'be here," she said, tilting her hat back to look up at him with bright red eyes, which glistened with tears. "Ah'm jist coverin' fer mae brother."

Rathus raised an eyebrow. While he wasn't too much of an expert on his Goblin lore, he was pretty sure she wasn't an adult. He listened to her while glancing over to the arbalest crew, which had recovered and was preparing another shot, lining it up on Mitras.

"Gonnae no keel mae," she sobbed. "Dyin is heavy painful, and but."

Rathus sighed and lifted his gun, firing twice and killing the arbalest crew. He looked down at the "mage", who flinched away from him, covering her face.

The Gun Knight sighed and walked past her. He had only taken a few steps when he heard the hissing of a fuse. Rathus turned back around to see the faux-brigand pointing a Dwarven Candle at him. The fuse hissed into the cardboard tube, as the Goblin pointed it at him, hands trembling.

"Ah'm sorry!" she exclaimed, "Ah dinnae wan ta! Ets me job tae hit out at ye iff'n ye spare mae."

"M-m-" she muttered, "M-Magic Missile!"

A blast of sizzling light spewed out of the end of the firework, blasting towards Rathus. The Gun Knight leaned to one side, letting the diminutive fireball shoot past him. The Goblin looked down at the firework, tears in her eyes.

"Ma-Magic Missile!" she shouted, trying to time the command to the natural firing rate of the firework. "Magic— Magic Missile!"

The Gun Knight reached down and grabbed her hand, tilting the firework away from her. His eyes darted down to her belt, and he reached his hand past her coat, to pull out a long wooden dagger.

"D-Dinnae..."

The Gun Knight bopped her on the top of the head with the wooden dagger, killing her instantly.

He dropped the blade in her lap and turned to walk away, as she stared up at him in confusion.

"You are already dead," he told her. The bewildered Goblin looked down at the dagger in confusion, then seemed to realize what had happened. She fell over, scrunching her eyes closed and instinctively falling over into an instinctual loose fetal pattern, as if her body had been slammed into a crater by some kind of exploding alien.

Rathus took in the battlefield. Artur had just struck down both of the axe-brigands, and Mitras had handled the staff-fighter. There was still one Goblin left, the one wearing the garb of a Truenamer. True to his name, he clapped his hands together, and placed them against the ground, opening his mouth and calling out to the element all around them.

"STONE."

Instantly, the battlefield erupted into chaos. Spikes erupted around Rathus, who danced through them, keenly watching the ground for the subtle movements that telegraphed the next angle of attack.

He fired off a few shots, but was unsurprised when a wave of rock came up to intercept them. The Gun Knight kept up his dance, watching as pillars of stone shot into the air, chasing down a flying Mitras. Artur was being sucked down into the floor, hacking away at the stone with his axe.

Rathus grit his teeth. There was no way that this was just a trainee dungeon. This guy was an expert Namer. It was true that Goblins, with their Gift of Sanctuary —the Gift of the Earth— were the best when it came to commanding Earth and Earth accessories. Even so, this was a level of finesse that went beyond natural affinity.

But.. even an expert would run out of Intent eventually. Rathus watched as the Goblin shoved two fingers forward, and Ruth's walls began to shift, forming a wedge-like hand of stone that threatened to close around her. The princess held up both hands and pushed back, as if she were doing some new trendy dance, or perhaps trying to push something with the power of her mind. As if in answer to the question of which, the princess Spoke out once more:

"STONE."

Instantly, the rock froze in place, and began to shudder silently, as the Intent of the two Namers began to butt up against each other. Ruth let out a ladylike grunt, her training taking over even in the heat of battle. She forced her will upon the stone, struggling against the overwhelming mastery of the Goblin Namer.

Despite her efforts, she was only managing to hold back the walls from crushing her, doing nothing to prevent the attacks on her teammates. Or so it seemed. The Goblin looked at her, almost amused, and flipped his two fingers with a flourish, turning it into an open-palmed thrust. The stone hand shuddered, and Ruth slid back a few inches, but her Will still held strong.

The Goblin's amusement slowly faded. A look of distaste took its place, as if he had found the princess still hadn't taken out the trash, even after he'd asked her three times already.

His open palm became a closed fist, and he shoved against the Stentorian girl, furrowing his brow as she remained undeterred. Rathus saw the spikes around him slowing, as the Namer put more effort towards his assault against the princess. He looked over at Ruth. She was somehow still holding up against the onslaught, but he could tell that she was at her limit. More importantly, the Namer seemed to be turning more and more of his attention towards overpowering this insolent little bairn who was trying to show him up.

Rathus aimed his revolver at the Namer, then after a moment's consideration, instead holstered his gun. He whispered to his Holdster, and the gun switched out for another. He raised the pistol up, a sleek, black gun with a square frame, but an exceptionally long barrel, the furthest portion shaped like a barking dachshund. Rathus aimed at the Namer's leg, and fired the Hush Puppy. The gun fired, slide snapping back, the report of the muzzle properly muzzled, reduced in volume until it sounded like nothing more than the distant barking of a small dog.

The Gun Knight's stealthy shot took the Namer in the leg. The Goblin jerked to the side, staggering in pain. His hands dropped, and the spires chasing Mitras immediately collapsed into loose rock. The spikes stabbing at Rathus halted immediately, falling over, and Ruth's effort carried her stumbling forward, as a wall of stone rushed towards the Goblin, moving with all the speed and force of an oncoming train.

The Namer held one hand up and opened his mouth, but had not enough time to even utter a single syllable before the shifting wave of stone lifted him, carrying him in its crest until it slammed into the wall, an earth-shattering rumble with just a hint of squish, as a treat.

Ruth staggered forwards, her head buzzing and her Intent reeling from the power struggle. "Oh," she said quietly. "That was certainly—" then she collapsed, falling unconscious instantly.

*********

"What I don't understand," Rathus said, "Is how we're meant to find th'damn secret room if it's just behind a solid wall."

He stood at the edge of the room, peering into the small treasure chamber. Mitras had laid the princess out on a bedroll nearby, and they were taking a short rest while she recovered. Rathus had expressed his doubts as to how safe that would be, but Artur assured him that resting for an hour, or even sleeping for up to 8 hours in the middle of a monster-infested dungeon was usually fine, as long as you didn't mind occasionally waking up from a dead sleep to fight monsters.

To Rathus, that seemed like exactly the sort of thing that would disqualify it from being safe, but he supposed he was a Gun Knight, not an Adventurer.

The Adventurer in question was now checking the treasure chest for traps, which apparently consisted in at least one step of him sinking the blade of his axe a few inches into the top of the chest.

"Well," the official began, "most of the time, prospective Adventurers tend to use the door."

He gestured over to an inconspicuous giant boulder in the corner of the room. Rathus nodded. He'd noticed the boulder, of course, but given the rest of the bullshit decor in this giant chamber, he hadn't really paid it much attention.

"Alright," Artur said, flipping closed his "Lockpicking for Dummies" book and gathering up his handful of broken picks. "I've got the chest open, finally. This was a nasty one."

Rathus noticed that the Orc hadn't re-wrapped the book in the cellophane, which answered one of the questions he'd had about the book, specifically whether it'd even been opened yet. The broken picks that Artur tucked into a pocket also spoke to that answer. But, Rathus figured, it was as good a time as any to practice a new skill. And he had managed to get the chest open. Eventually.

The chest opened, to reveal a dazzling array of glittering gold coins. Rathus's eyes bulged at the sheer amount of money contained within, until he realized two things. Firstly, there was actually a shelf just an inch below the top of the chest, so that the coins were piled onto a sheet tray, rather than filling the entire volume of the chest.

Secondly, as Rathus looked closer, he realized that the coins were not, in fact, golden Dosh coins. but instead looked like...

"Tavern tokens," Artur whispered reverentially, scooping up the coins and dropping them into a hemp bag he'd pulled from a pouch.

"Tavern tokens?" Rathus asked, walking over to the pair. He looked over to Mitras, who stared through him with her piercing eyes before looking at Artur going through his work.

"Free drinks," she explained.

"More than that!" Artur replied. "Most affiliated Adventurer Guilds will accept these for drinks, meals, room and board..."

He frowned, looking thoughtful as he tapped the side of his face with one of the coins tucked between two fingers (which probably wasn't the most sanitary move). "Hey, Mitras, what does 'board' even mean?"

"Food," Mitras replied.

"Yeah, right. Plenty of that," Artur said, scooping the rest of the coins into the bag. "And you can also trade it for essential supplies, like basic potions, rations, first aid supplies, toiletries, water balloons, stuff like that."

"Uh..." Rathus hesitated. "Water balloons?"

Mitras looked at the Gun Knight and blushed slightly, shaking her head.

"Yeah, uh, I don't really get it either," Artur replied. "Single water balloons, they come in these little foil packets. I guess you could use them as like, an emergency water flask? Not really sure. I figure the round ones would be better for that if you were gonna use one, but they still seem to be really popular for some reason."

Rathus didn't have an answer to that. Or, more accurately, he had several responses, but couldn't think of whether any of them would be worth bringing up. The Orc Adventurer opened his backpack, tucking the bag of coins into it. He went to close his pack, then looked up, suddenly guilty.

"Ah, sorry. I'm... we can split these up if you want, or we can do it after we finish. I didn't meant to keep them all."

"You're fine," Rathus replied, waving away the concerns. "We can figure it out later."

Ruth stirred, finally, and sat up, looking around in groggy confusion.

"Where am I?"

"A dungeon," Mitras replied.

Ruth's eyes widened in excitement for a moment, before her senses caught up to her, and she realized they were still in the training dungeon.

"Oh..." she said, mildly disappointed. "Did I get disqualified?"

"Nah," Artur replied, squatting down next to her. "You overpowered that Namer, then passed out. You actually got bonus Style points for that display of desperate Shonen power-up, using all of your Intent in one finishing blow.

Ruth nodded to herself. 'As it should be', she thought, but kept the thought to herself. Instead, she brought up the other thing that had been bothering her.

"The... Namer," she said, thinking back to her last conscious moments. "Did I...?"

"Yeah!" Artur said, pumping his fist in excitement. "You showed him up, alright! Sent him shoving straight into the wall. It was really impressive!"

"A-ah," Ruth said, paling slightly. The Adventurer continued to sing her praises, heedless to her change in complexion. She was a Winter, so Artur couldn't really tell one shade of cream from another, and was too excited about her display of raw power to notice her discomfort.

"Squashed him like a bug! Man, I was telling Mitras it would be a great idea if we could get the Gun Knight to come with us to get that Wolf, but I wasn't expecting both of you guys to be amazing! Our team is gonna be great."

Ruth looked down at her hands, feeling a bit ill. "I've... never killed anybody before..." she said quietly.

Artur stopped in the middle of his re-enactment, carefully tossing the brick aside. His face flushed, and he looked away guiltily, rubbing at the back of his head.

"Ah. Uh, sorry, I didn't, uh... dang...." Artur said sheepishly.

The princess stared at her hands. She'd... really killed somebody.

"Uhhh... well. He's... in a better place now?" Artur suggested.

"Och. I dinnae ken about tha," a voice interrupted him. Ruth looked up to see Dougall, who had his sledgehammer resting casually on his shoulder.

"Hes wifey's a reit banshee," he elaborated. "I wouldnae think he'd call home a finer place."

Ruth blinked in confusion. Wait... of course. He... was a Goblin, wasn't he? "So... he's?"

"Aye, lass," Dougall nodded. "We Goblin willnae die, even if yes kill us."

Ruth let out a long sigh, relieved. "Well... that's good. That's one less thing to worry about."

She stood to her feet, then immediately staggered to the side. Artur reached out and caught her as she fell, lowering her back to the ground. The princess looked down at her legs in confusion.

"First time running out of Intent, huh?" Artur asked. "It really takes it out of you for a while. You'll probably want to rest a bit longer."

Mitras stiffened as Artur laid the princess down, moving a bit closer when the Orc stood up.

Ruth shook her head weakly. "But... Rathus is in a hurry. We must needs—"

"Don't mind waiting a bit," The Gun Knight said. He shrugged and looked aside, picking up a loose Tavern Token that had fallen to the ground. "It'd be faster to have you walk than t'have to carry you."

"Tsundere," Mitras muttered, her voice monotone.

*******

A short time later, the party was progressing, traveling down the hall to the next challenge. Based on the way things had been set up, they would have one more challenge before the final chamber. The official, previously being a real pain in the ass, had been suitably cowed after their performance in the last room, and had somehow come to the decision that maybe it would be in his better interest not to fuck with them. It'd been a blessedly silent few minutes since he'd made a pithy comment towards Rathus, and while he was still more or less avoiding Mitras, he hadn't directed any overt hostility towards her for the duration of the walk.

Ruth had recovered fairly quickly, her Intent slowly refilling. She was walking unaided once more, and her steps were becoming more steady with each passing moment.

"I... feel I should warn you," the official said suddenly. His voice was tinged with the subtle regret of somebody learning that the bald man whose toupee he'd been not-so-subtly mocking was the president of the company he was about to interview at. A kind of hopeless, half-hearted ass-kissing, that was too off-putting and pitiful to accept, like the slobbering attention of a particularly ugly dog.

"This next challenge... is probably the most dangerous one of all. Most of our teams that fail, fail here."

Rathus checked his pouches. He still had another Healing potion, and his last Potion of Life. He'd definitely want to hold onto that until he really needed it, though. He was still good on ammo, having recently restocked, and his guns were all fully loaded. There were still three Shield coins that he had in his pouch, along with a few other trinkets of varying utility that I won't list here so that I don't need to retcon it later.

"I think we'll be alright," Rathus said. "We'll keep Ruth out of harms way, and make sure the rest of us are ready for combat."

The official shook his head sadly. "No, I'm afraid that won't help. In fact, that might just many things worse."

Artur frowned. "Why would being ready for a fight make things worse? I can't think of any situation where being ready for a fight would cause a problem."

Ruth chuckled to herself. "Oh, I can think of a few," she said.

"Well," Rathus replied, "I think you'd be surprised about how many balls and galas you wind up needing weapons at, all things considered." He frowned. "Unless... you were thinkin' something dirty, weren't you?"

Ruth flushed, glaring at the Gun Knight, before suddenly furrowing her brow. "Well, I am now." She told him, irritated.

"Thinking about what?" Artur asked. "Something that'd be bad to bring weapons to?"

Ruth stewed silently for a moment, frustrated by the sudden shift in her thoughts, then shook her head. "The jury is still out."

Mitras, walking silently, glanced to the side, and suddenly came to a dead stop. The rest of the party came to a halt as she fell behind the pack. She was staring to one side, scrutinizing a patch of wall. Rathus followed her gaze, and activated his battle trance. He noticed at once what she must have seen herself. A section of wall that didn't quite line up with the rest. There wasn't much difference, just a fraction of an inch, but it definitely wasn't flush. Rathus's eyes darted along the wall, finding and tracing a hidden seam. And there, on the ground, the faint sign of abrasion from stone on stone.

"Secret room," the Merrow announced.

Ruth gasped with delight, and started to move towards the hidden door. Her way was impeded suddenly by the giant double axehead of Artur's weapon, as he held the flat of the blade out to block her.

"Wait," he cautioned her. "It might be trapped." He took the lead, sheathing his axe and unstrapping the crowbar from his belt. Rathus wondered whether Artur was the best choice for trapfinding. It might be true that Rathus wasn't about to volunteer, but that had little to do with his ability to rise to the task. While he wasn't well-versed with traps in and of themselves, the battle trance provided by his Eidetic Memory was enough to spot and disarm most triggers, sometimes when they were in the process of triggering. Plus, he was generally durable enough so that if he did set off the trap, it would hardly matter.

So, it wasn't that Rathus didn't think he could do it, but, well... they were being graded on teamwork. And Artur seemed to be really excited about the whole prospect. It'd probably be better for Rathus not to fumble around and face-check the traps. Ruth... probably shouldn't be taking the lead on any traps, either.

Although, that did still leave Mitras. The Gun Knight glanced over at the Star Mage, who was staring intently at the door, watching as Artur approached. She looked focused, and— hm. Rathus watched as Mitras' expression changed, a flash of purple sparking through her eyes as she watched Artur working. Her features seemed to soften as she watched the man tugging at the crowbar, trying to haul open the stone door while making progress an inch at a time.

Rathus glanced over at Artur. Ruth had walked over and was asking if he'd like help, apparently offering to use Naming to move the door. Artur was in the process of politely declining as he yanked the door open, getting a bit better progress now that he could get his hand in the gap. Mitras's expression shifted ever-so-slightly, cooling off slightly as she watched the princess.

Right. That's about what he figured. The Gun Knight took a few steps over, close enough that he could speak quietly to the Merrow woman, without needing to lean over, nudge the air, or otherwise make his intent obvious, enacting an actual whisper in a way that would have probably blown Artur's mind.

"I don't think ya got anything t'worry about," he told her, his voice low.

Mitras glanced at him. "I..." she watched Artur at work, then looked aside, refusing to meet Rathus head-on. "...I'm not worried..."

Rathus nodded, "He seems like an earnest guy," he noted.

Mitras smiled, her expression softening at the praise of her comrade. Artur was busying himself with the door, gripping the edge with both hands and leaning back, hauling it open heave by heave.

"... He's brave," the Merrow woman replied. "And kind. He'll be the first to run in to save somebody... Even if it's too much for him to handle."

Rathus hadn't known Artur for that long, but yeah, based on what he'd seen so far, that sounded about right. He nodded and tilted his head towards Mitras, lowering his voice further.

"Is that why you've been casting enhancement spells on him?" he asked,

Mitras turned her head to look at him him directly, surprise showing plainly on her face in a break from her stoic norm.

"You could tell?"

"Yeah," Rathus replied. "I'm not surprised that nobody else might have. A Star Mage who can cast spells without speaking them aloud or using all those fancy movements is pretty rare."

"I..."

But, y'know," Rathus continued, "it still flashes through your eyes when you cast. If you want to hide them better, y'might consider closing your eyes when you cast."

Mitras looked at him, her expression blank. "So... you don't plan on reporting me?"

"Reporting you?" Rathus asked, raising an eyebrow. "Who would I even report ya to? There ain't no law against being a still caster."

Mitras nodded, looking down at the ground as if deep in thought. After a few moments of silence, she looked up to Rathus.

"Please don't tell him... about the spells, I mean."

Rathus looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Well... I might be able to keep it mum. You ain't using anything strange on him, are you?"

The Merrow woman shook her head. "N-no. I just..."

She looked after the young Orc man, who shoved the door the rest of the way open with his feet, wedging himself between door and frame as he shoved it open and fell onto his back.

"He tries really hard," she explained. "He deserves to win."

Rathus nodded. "Have you..." he trailed off, watching as Artur got up off the ground, dusting himself off. The Gun Knight tipped the edge of his hat down and shook his head. "Well, never mind. Ain't none of my business anyhow. Don't worry, I won't tell him."

The Gun Knight joined the young Adventurer and the princess, who were peering around the opening, into a small chamber lit by a Magelight.

A large wooden treasure chest sat alone in the alcove.

"Looks about the same as the last one, more or less," Rathus noted.

"Yeah," Artur replied, excited. "We're gonna eat like kings!"

He stepped into the room, looking carefully around for more traps, and unstrapping his axe. As soon as he crossed the threshold, the official began to read the next blurb.

"You enter the secret room, and are excited to find that there is a treasure chest contained within, probably containing all manner of priceless relics. The room seems safe enough, with no visible traps that you can see,"

Artur nodded, and unslung his backpack, setting it to one side as he rolled his shoulders.

"However," the official began, as Artur stepped towards the chest, "As you approach the chest, you discover that it's actually—"

Artur swung his axe, embedding it into the top of the chest with a loud cracking sound, as if he had just cracked a walnut, or perhaps started digging into a crab leg. The axe embedded into the top of the chest, which immediately started squealing and writhing, the lid opening up to reveal rows of sharp teeth.

"...a horrible Mimic," the official replied, sighing as he watched the impostor creature shrivel and die from the head wound.

Artur grinned and tapped the side of his head. "Y'see, gang. This is why you gotta hit the chests." The adventurer drew his axe back out of the creature's head and kicked it, to make sure it wasn't about to get back up. When no response was forthcoming, he jammed the blade of his weapon into the beast's jaws and levered it open. Rathus saw another stack of Tavern Tokens within, along with a set of glowing potions.

Artur started shoveling coins into another bag, but grabbed the potions and tossed them to Mitras. The Star Mage lifted them, examining the contents of the vials before Recalling.

"Potion of Mana," she announced, smiling slightly as she tucked it into a pocket of her skirt. She lifted the second vial. "Invisibility Potion," she declared.

Artur whistled in appreciation. "We're making a hell of a haul today! We should do practice dungeons more often."

"Please don't," the official said quietly.

Artur started to move on, and Rathus nodded towards Mitras. "Is that Star Magic, or Potion of Invisibility?" he asked.

"Star Magic."

"Damn," Rathus nodded. He'd kinda figured, but it was still a bit of a shame. Star Magic potions tended to just be bottled spells. And while the Star Magic spell of 'Invisibility' had its uses, it was prone to somewhat arbitrary rules, and would end immediately if you were to attack somebody. A Potion of Invisibility, however, was distilled, concentrated Name of Invisibility, and could render you invisible regardless of what you did, until it wore off.

It was prohibitively expensive, as most creations involving Ephemeral Names, names of concepts, were. However, in the right hands, it made you a powerhouse to (not) behold in combat. In the wrong hands, of course, it made you a menace to the police. Gun Knights tended to have a love/hate relationship with them as a consequence.

"Still useful, I reckon."

Mitras nodded, and they continued along their way, Artur taking point. Soon, they came to another chamber, closed off by massive bronze doors, easily twice as tall as Artur. The Orc looked up and grasped one of the double-doors, by a bronze door-ring, hauling backwards and sliding it open inch by inch. Rathus stepped forward as well, seizing the other door's ring and yanking it open, quickly aiming inside with his gun in his free hand.

The chamber beyond was relatively plain, and Rathus didn't see any tricks at a quick glance. A set of steps led to a raised area in the center, with a single table placed onto it. He saw a number of items placed onto the table, and with a nod to Artur, slowly advanced.

Mitras and Ruth waited just inside the chamber, out of the way of prospective danger, but inside the door in case it wanted to do that cheeky "lock you in the chamber, bet you weren't expecting that, huh?" bit that seemed part and parcel with most Dungeons.

Rathus walked up the stairs, crouched and in his Battle Trance. One hand rested on the handle of his gun, the other was stretched ahead of him, feeling for any tell-tale tingle of a Domain ahead of them.

He gradually made his way to the center of the room, and walked over to the table. No traps at all. In fact, in a sharp contrast to traps, he noticed that the table appeared to be completely covered in all kinds of fancy-looking equipment.

The official cleared his throat and began to recite.

"The greatest challenge of all is before you. Before the final chamber, you find an array of powerful artifacts. Any one of these might be the difference between life and death. You find a sign among the items, which reads: 'Each Adventurer may keep any item they are carrying, should they pass the mission.'

Good luck."

Rathus nodded, staring down at the table. What was the angle here? There were a variety of items, from potions, to rings, a few bracelets and necklaces. A glowing hand-axe, a crystal dagger, a variety of pieces of armor. Was this the challenge? Artur had already beckoned Mitras over to come check out the goods. The Gun Knight scratched his chin.

"So, uh," he began, "Is there, like... a cursed item or somethin', and we gotta figure out which one it is?"

The official shook his head, trembling slightly. "No," he whispered. "All of it free to use. With no drawbacks."

Rathus felt unease settle into his stomach. They'd gotten some loot before, but nothing to this degree. With the amount of gear they were handing them to prep with... how hard was this challenge?

Rathus looked down at the gear, as Mitras and Ruth came up to meet them.

"Any chance you can tell us what these do?" he asked the Star Mage.

She nodded. "Yes. I know the 'Identify' spell."

Rathus smiled. "Well, that's handy."

"It takes eight hours to prepare and cast it."

"Okay, " Rathus sighed. "A little less handy." He looked at the gear on the table. "I guess we can wing it." He picked up a small copper shield and looked back at the official.

"These really ain't cursed, right? You ain't gonna turn around and shout 'gotcha'?"

The official trembled slightly, and shook his head. "No... they're all fine." He seemed almost regretful of this fact, and Rathus regarded him with a wary, suspicious eye.

"Well... then I reckon that we might as well grab whatever looks useful."

"It says that we can keep whatever we take, if we pass, right?" Artur asked. "Shouldn't we just, y'know. Grab everything?"

Rathus scratched at his chin. "I mean. Seems kinda discourteous to the people who'll be comin' in after us, don't it?"

"Perhaps they replace it each run?" Ruth asked. "I can't imagine Adventurers passing up such a bounty. Especially prospective ones who don't have very good gear yet. While I may not be able to tell exactly what they do, some of these do look like the sort of thing a new Adventurer would kill to have."

"Expensive," Mitras said. Rathus wasn't sure if she was saying that the items were expensive themselves, or if she was commenting on how unlikely it'd be for them to be replaced each test, given the cost, or if she were perhaps saying both.

The Gun Knight stared intently down at the table, and then he had it.

"Ah," he laughed to himself. "I get it."

Ruth looked up from where she was inspecting a golden gauntlet set with six multi-colored gems. She set the artifact down, looking curiously at the Gun Knight.

"Hm? What did you 'get'?"

Rathus shook his head. "Nothin'. Never mind."

He walked over to the table and grabbed one of the several potions there, a small red vial of glowing liquid. He held it up to Mitras.

"This one's a healing potion, right?" he asked. The Merrow woman peered at it closely, then nodded her head. Rathus smiled and pocketed it, tucking it into his potion pouch.

"Alright, I think that's more or less all I need."

Artur grabbed two of the handaxes, a matching pair of brass weapons set with a green gem, and hefted them experimentally. Seemingly pleased with the results, he crossed them and attached them to the anchor point on the back of his belt. He also swapped out his mundane shield for a small wooden kite shield with a silver border.

Mitras grabbed a variety of the potions, tucking them into various pockets, then reached for a silver circlet, which Ruth also reached for at the same time.

"Ah," Ruth said, drawing her hand back. The two young women's eyes met, and Rathus saw the official close his eyes and hang his head, from the corner of his eye.

"Ah, if you don't mind," the princess began, "I'm quite partial to the design. There are a few other items, but I would like this one, if that's fine with you."

Mitras looked down at the circlet, and cocked her head to the side.

"This circlet has enhancement magic on it... for a fighter," she tapped it with one finger. "Artur would get the most use out of it."

Ruth and Mitras both looked at the circlet, then each other, each staring appraisingly at the other.

The official sighed. This was how it always began. The fourth challenge was the killer, the ender of all runs. An adventuring team could survive perilous traps. They could escape fiendish puzzles. Even a fight to the death was no trouble. But, if you put a pile of treasure in front of them, and said 'Share', well...

The official shrank back against the wall, waiting for the blood to start flowing. Ruth stared at the circlet, then looked up at the Merrow. She closed her eyes.

"Very well then," she conceded. "There are other fine pieces of jewelry here, and I can't argue that I would be more deserving than somebody for whom it would provide an actual use." She nodded to Mitras, and the Merrow, somewhat surprised, picked the circlet up off the table. She cocked her head at Ruth, then reached into her pocket, pulling a vial out. This one was far more spherical than the others, and the top had apparently been designed such that it wasn't possible to open.

"Alchemist's Fire," Mitras explained. "For your Naming. Fire on demand."

"Oh!" Ruth said, taking it. "I forgot that I'd mentioned that I knew the name of Fire as well. Thank you!"

The Star Mage nodded and moved on, taking the Circlet over to Artur, as the official looked on in disbelief.

"Now do you see our true power?" Rathus asked, hovering over the Merrow man's shoulder. The official spun, dripping sweat, his glasses askew, as he stared up in terror at the Gun Knight.

"Who... WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!" the official screamed, his voice high and reedy.

Artur grinned a smile, and struck a pose. The rest of his team felt the call, and came to line up beside him, as if drawn inexorably by an unseen string.

"We're the Red Thread of Fate!" Artur declared, as they posed as a team.

The official fell to his knees, completely broken before their majesty. Artur unposed, and nodded, looking at the table, where a number of other artifacts still remained.

"Well... we could take them all, but you got a point, Mr. Rathus. That'd be kinda rude."

He gestured forwards with his axe, towards a set of stairs leading up and out of the room.

"Onwards, to victory!"

******

The final stretch lay before them. They had entered into a massive chamber, bigger than any of the previous rooms they'd entered. Stairs comprised most of the hall, one giant set with steps hundreds of feet wide.

Rathus and the rest of his team made their way up the stairs, to what appeared to be an abandoned throne room. An assortment of cups and cutlery had been strewn about, including a full pile of teacups with a slip of paper on it. And there, at the center of it all, a shining beacon, their target.

The Golden Joey Bones. Seeing it first-hand, Rathus felt foolish. Why had he ever wondered what it meant? It was so obvious now, looking at it in retrospect. He shook his head, laughing slightly at his past foolishness.

"...Why is there a pile of teacups?" Ruth asked.

Rathus shrugged. "Who knows. I'd probably avoid touching it, though in case it's some kinda last minute trick."

Ruth nodded, but went over to inspect, taking care not to disturb it. Rathus moved slowly over to the dais. The Gun Knight entered his Battle Trance, investigating every detail of the pedestal that held the Golden Joey Bones.

"Easy now," he whispered, reaching out for the reward. He leaned over, and called out to the princess.

"Ruth! Can you bring your bag of holding over?"

The princess was staring at the pile of teacups, transfixed. The Gun Knight shouted for her again, and she snapped out of her daze, looking over to Rathus with wide eyes, her face pale. She hurried over, tearing her bag from her belt and opening it wide.

"Rathus! Grab it, and lets get out of here, right away! We must make haste!"

Rathus didn't bother to waste time asking her why, and snatched the Golden Joey Bones, moving towards her. She held the bag open, and he worked to get the somewhat awkward shape of the Golden Joey Bones into the bag.

"Why d'we need to run?" he asked, as Artur drew his Axe, looking around wildly. Mitras had once again clung to his back, to all appearances using him as a shield, as she actually cast one silent enhancement spell after another on the Adventurer.

"That... pile of teacups was labeled." She told him. Rathus waited for her to continue, not bothering to possibly interrupt her with an ill-timed 'And?' or 'What'd it say?'.

"It was labeled... Dragon's Hoard," Ruth continued.

The Gun Knight's eyes widened, as a massive, yellow dragon slammed down onto the rear section of the throne room, apparently descending unseen from somewhere above them. The giant, ancient beast spread wide wings the size of a city block, and regarded them with one cruel, intelligent eye.

Artur, Mitras, Ruth and Rathus all stared up at the most ancient of beasts, first heralds of the Prime Names, the true image of death and rebirth, the final boss of their tutorial dungeon, and froze in place, trying to process what they were seeing.

"It seems..." the official recited, "That the Golden Joey Bones was protected after all."

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