I wonder what else I can learn from this laptop about this reversed parody of Earth with superheroes? Wait?! That billboard we drove by when we were entering the city said something about voting for a hero and it had a website. I think it was something about a Hero Academy?

I type ‘Hero Academy’ into Bong and Gothalyn looks at me in interest. I wonder why? Maybe? Does she like Heroes? She is definitely not a hero for multiple reasons, so that leaves only two options either she just has superpowers and the skilled training of an elite soldier but she just did it all for self-defense and doesn’t actually use it and likes heroes orrrr… is she a villain that likes heroes?

Wait a minute, I feel like something about that comment was wrong. Villain’s don’t like heroes...actually they usually hate them.

Is Gothalyn a villain? That would explain Gothalyns tendency toward violence and shadiness. It would also fit with her overall look, I know I’m not supposed to judge a book by a cover but the whole point of a cover should be to convey the book or in this case crazy Goth woman that is helping a monster. And speaking of which I think I’ll just ask her what she does as a job.

“Goth- I mean Brooklyn, what do you do to make money?” Cake asks for me, after I almost messed up her name.

“Robbery. Assassination. Other stuff,” Gothalyn responded counting on her fingers.

That definitely sounds villainous, but do I really care.

No...not really.

Especially not after reading this.

‘Welcome to the Hero Academy Website! We have been training young and exceptionally gifted individuals for over 200 years! Ultrasonic, Death Detective, and Wo-man are all graduates of our school and have all captured well known criminals and destroyed many monsters that threaten our society. Our goal at this school is to create a peaceful Gumtrap and to eliminate all monsters by training the next generation of speedsters, detectives, and gender swapping spies.’

If the hero's goal is the elimination of all monsters and the villain's goal is to help me get stronger and keep me alive.

Then I’m going to side with villains obviously, I don’t want to try and make peace with heroes and get my face blown apart, even if it will regenerate and I don’t have a face, however, besides that, I will eventually make an attempt to try and make peace with the heros of this world after I become strong enough that they won’t be able to just simply kill me and to do that I need another addition to my group!

That bat monster nest I found the other day! Oh my god! I cannot wait for the batgirl? Will they be a vampire? I hope so! A new addition to my group of mind controlled servants is always a good thing!

No, I can’t be thinking of them like that; it’s not normal or is it? I mean they seem to actively want me to boss them around, Kiwi sleeps a lot but whenever I order her to do something she will happily go do it, no matter how tired she is and Cake does the same, albeit without the sleeping.

Also, when did start calling Kiwi a girl. She is just a mantis, although I guess there is a high chance of her becoming a girl based on Cake.

Also...CAN YOU STOP PETTING ME!!! I should be a terrifying monster! I scare myself whenever I see my reflection! I am not some damn pet hamster for you to pet and question whenever you want! Gothalyn! I know your name is Brooklyn but just for being a weirdo and petting me and calling Puffball, I’m gonna keep mentally calling you Gothalyn!

I angrily close the laptop and Gothalyn aka Brooklyn stops petting me.

“Can we go back down to the sewers?” Cake asks in my stead.

Gothalyn nodded and opened the sewers.

2 hours later:

I spot the bat lair filled with hundreds of small fluffy bats, which are surprisingly cute! Not Cake cute but maybe if I converted one they would be, which is a pretty big incentive to get one. However, there may be too many bats for a straight forward attack on their nest. I mean it's not like we would die or anything if we did do that but I think we could probably use our big brains and instead of fighting head-on, we can do something more sneaky.

“What is the weakness to these bats?” Cake asks Gothalyn.

“After. Full. Then. Tired.” Gothalyn tries explaining using her hand gestures.

So...I guess what you’re trying to say is that these bats after a big hearty meal will get tired and presumably fall asleep. Only one problem, aren’t we the meal? Why can’t they have a worse weakness instead of becoming tired after sucking out all your blood like Kiwi sleeping all the time! Actually, not like Kiwi, I think I gave her a new life goal after showing her actual bedding!

‘Must find better pillow. Must find better bed. Must find better sheet. Must find better couch.’ Kiwi kept sending after I forced her from her couch by telling her. She actually said it so much that she learned all the words.

‘Kiwi! Stop talking about bedding! We are on an important mission, if you want a better bed I will give you one if you evolve,’ I tell Kiwi.

‘BED!’ Kiwi yells frantically.

What have I done! I don’t even have anything better than that crappy couch and curtain sheets and I can’t just waltz on into a mattress store for two reasons. The first being I have no money, not really much of a problem for me as of right now. This leads on to my second point, I’m currently a monster, kind of a big deal breaker when you are dealing with humans that are not brainwashed or weird or both.

‘Evolve! Must!’ Kiwi says before barging down a small pipe that leads into the nest.

‘Kiwi, get back here and sit still until I tell you what to do!' I send.

‘Yes…’ Kiwi says with her creepy mantis eyes and mouth before plopping down and sleeping on the floor, however clearly uncomfortable after learning of actual bedding.

Now, let's see how we can enter this nest and steal an egg doing the least amount of work.

Hmmm...I could use that hole that Kiwi almost ran down to her death since it seems to lead directly to the heart of the nest filled with so many bats that it's actually pitch black in fur and fluff. But, maybe if I a way to attract them away from the center, I could enter that small drainage hole with Kiwi and we could steal an egg while all the bats are distracted.

But, what could I use as a distraction to lure those bats away? We’ve already had to deal with a few however, they were quickly eliminated due to our sheer power gap between a few bats and a gang of intelligent beasts, which includes Gothalyn by the way. Cake was almost immune to their little pecks at her carapace and shell, which was nice to not worry about Cake for once...wait a minute what if Cake was the bait! If she is mostly immune to these little vermins bites then she could lure them away and we could steal an egg. Just one problem which is once we steal the egg how are we going to get those bats off of Cake without lighting her on fire or something.

I tell Gothalyn of my plan, and she actually comes up with a solution to my problem. A cave in. Gothalyn would use a mixture of rock magic and grenades to collapse a sewage tunnel on top of Cake, killing all of the bats but leaving Cake mostly unharmed; who we would then dig out and feed on the bats that we find. The big momma bat might live through the collapse, but I’ll tell you what it won’t live through that’s right, Gothalyn. The crazy goth girl that solves all my problems, who I brainwashed by complete accident and therefore I hold no responsibility over anything affecting her decision making, is going to be solving another problem for me! Ahh...this is the life! Other people solving my problems and I don’t even have to pay them! Alright, let's do it, Plan Bat is a go!

1 hour later:

Cake and Gothalyn both left together to lure away the bats. I teamed up with Kiwi and entered the small drain pipe that led to the central nest and waited for Cake’s notice, I had to use pill body; which felt nice to differentiate my body type once in a while.

I eventually spot Gothalyn and Cake murdering bats left and right which started to rifle up the thousands of bats in the central nest and even the mother bat.

*KREEEEEHHHHHHH!*

Man, that mother bat is super ugly at least her children are kinda cute compared to other bats from earth.

‘Meister, Gothalyn is doing that weird thing with her hand that you told me means, ‘Retreat’ Do I follow her?’ Cake sends me.

‘Yes!’ I respond mentally.

I watch from the small tunnel thousands of bats begin to travel toward Cake’s direction and even the large mother bat, which looks to be too heavy to fly like the others. After, a while almost all of the bats left except a few who looked to have fallen asleep with full...blood sacks?! What the hell! That is disgusting! Underneath all that cute puffy fur hides a disgusting sack of blood, reminiscent of a mosquitoes blood sack. Why God! WHY MUST YOU RUIN THESE CUTE CREATURES BY COMBINING THEM WITH A MOSQUITO!!!!

I wish I had that info earlier! But they hide it so well behind their thick fur that it's hard to tell, even with my sight. However. I still refuse to let this opportunity go to waste and hopefully I can mutate that blood sack away sort of like what I did with Kiwi and all of her would be rock-armor. I can only hope at this point because I am not pulling out at this stage.

‘Kiwi! Get up we have an egg to steal!”

“Yes. Maistear.”

We scooted through the small sewage pipe like two mutant aliens, which we were but it felt more so moving through pipes. Eventually, however, we enter the mostly empty chasm of bats, and I spot a bunch of eggs down at the bottom, now free from the endless blackness of bats.

‘Kiwi, kill as many of them as possible,’ I mentally tell Kiwi, ignoring the irony of a sleeping mantis killing a dozen or so sleeping bats.

*rumble*

As Kiwi begins to stab into the sleeping bats increasing her level and I grab a normal looking flesh egg, I can hear an explosion in the distance, before Cake responds.

‘Meister, I am glad to take damage for you, however, I appear to have damaged a leg due to the “large momma bat” you warned of. I am currently in my shell and buried underneath the rubble. I am most apologetic for my lack of awareness and will set this right,’ Cake says.

‘Cake, you don’t…’ Cake and Kiwi interrupt me at the same time.

‘I must Meister! I must set this right by allowing these beasts to ravage me, this will be my punishment for !’

‘Kiwi. Evolve. BED!’

HOLY SHIT! Kiwi got her evolution! What did Cake say? Uhmm…I think something about beasts and setting something straight. It couldn’t be that punishment thing again as I gave her an order to never punish herself again. Whatever it probably wasn’t that big a deal anyway when compared to the second evolution of Kiwi! The same evolution that transformed Cake into a monster human hybrid.

“She said she wanted to hug all monsters and show them the love and affection they so desperately need, that was sarcasm by the way, as due to your lack of intelligence having a 27% chance to misinterpret my comment as the complete truth,” GagOs says.

Yeah, whatever GagOs. Thanks for your very “truthful” insight.

‘Kiwi, hurry up and let's go,’ I say to Kiwi, who quickly finishes the last sleepy bat, and we escape with the monster egg through the same pipe.

I need to regroup with Cake and Gothalyn and help them with any leftover bats.

15 minutes later:

I finally made it to them! Gothalyn seems to have killed that big giant bat, she was left with some battle marks and a few scars from it but she lived and defeated the big bag monster bat. By chopping its head off using her rocky sword and dagger. Gothalyn is currently searching through the leftover rubble and water splashing around from burst pipes in search of Cake. She seems to have made quite a bit of progress using her rock powers to move past any stone or concrete, however, she is definitely getting tired from it, so I’ll encourage her since I would like to find Cake ASAP, since I can imagine some emergency plumbers being sent down here to fix all these broken water lines spewing water everywhere and I would like to eat those dead bats as well without having to worry about any plumbers.

“I’ll let you pet me if you can find Cake in the next 10 minutes,” Cake says from behind the rubble that Gothalyn can’t hear her over the water.

She can’t hear Cake. You know what nevermind, I’ll just help her like the gentleman that I am.

I spend the next few minutes searching through rubble with Gothalyn trying to get Cake out, and we get her out however on the ground I spot Cake’s body much worse than I thought it would be however when compared to how I would have done being attacked by a thousand or so blood hungry bats, infinitely better than me since I would be dead. However, I am wondering why there are a few bats with full blood sacks underneath her and why her eyelids are closed if there aren't any bats to attack her anymore, I eventually put two and two together and figure out the thing about the beasts.

‘Cake, open your eyes,’

*snip*

Cake’s carapitic eyelids open and I notice something is a little off with them. They are gone. I would probably be disgusted if I wasn't used to all this gore by now but I still hate it.

‘Cake close your eyes and start putting all your biomass into your eyes and legs and explain to me why your eyes are missing,’

*snip*

‘I did not feel I met the criteria to be able to call you Meister after all the mistakes I have made and then finally almost causing your plan to falter. So I had an idea to use other creatures and allowed them to inflict punishment onto me to use as an incentive to do better next time,’

*mentally slams head into table*

Why...why...why...why...why...why must you do this to me Cake? I tell you to stop punishing yourself or looking to me for punishment and you start letting random monsters do it! Brainwashing is definitely two-sided and a big negative of it for Cake is that she is kind of an extreme masochist, due to it, at least Kiwi isn't.

‘Cake, that is now banned as well. I will make this very clear, do not ever use other monsters attacking you as a form of punishment. Try to act like Kiwi she never punishes herself,’ I tell Cake disappointed since I thought she was over this.

‘I understand, Meister. I will stay awake with my eyes closed as a form of punishment as Kiwi does,’

Wait...what! Does Kiwi actually do that!? You know what; I don’t care, if that is true they can pretend sleep as a weird form of punishment as much as they want. But I will not stand for Cake doing this, it benefits no one, it wastes biomass and I just hate seeing any of my allies hurt. GagOs is also partly at fault for giving me a sarcastic remark instead of telling me truthfully but that is expected for her, I guess. These monsters are a much bigger hassle than I first thought, I will need to tell this bat monster to punish themselves in a way that is not detrimental to themselves...I guess now I can just use this pretend sleeping thing as there is no way that can be detrimental to their bodies.

‘Kiwi, let Cake take all the Biomass from the big bat since she needs to fix her eyes and legs,’

‘Okay,’ Kiwi says.

Alright, well while Cake gets enough Biomass to mutate her body, I’m gonna plop this last parasite that has been inside my body since I got Kiwi and I’ll also check Kiwi’s evolutions and I also need to think of a name for the bat.

I plop the egg down and insert the parasite into it as usual, and I feel the strange euphoric feeling of it leaving my body and a screen pops up.

[There are 47 evolutionary options to choose from; you may choose or randomize]

47? Not as many as 2000, I wonder why the options seem to bounce all over the place. Alright, I also need to get SystOs to activate GagOs’s ability that allows me a better look into the evolutions.

[Preparing Super Basic Package for client ‘Joy’]

Evolutionary Option #1

[Blood-Pack Oryx - A basic evolution of the normal blood-pack species, increasing the storage, damage, and defense. This evolution focuses on survivability over all else.

[Endurance: (+)

[Attack: (+)

[Defense: (+)

Mutations:

Elastic Pouch

Piercing Fangs

Wow, this is a very good basic evolution, however, I am trying to get more intelligence and get rid of that disgusting pouch these creatures seem to store their food in, so I’m going to have to decline.

Evolutionary Option #7

[Blood-Fog Lasiurus - A unique evolution of the Blood Pack Bat that can transform parts of their body into thick fog to blend in with the background of the night. They are well suited to sneak attacks due to their increase in intelligence.

[Shifter: (+)

[Intelligence: (+)

Mutations:

Fog Flesh

Blood Regeneration

BAM! Dunzo! I’m getting this one! Regeneration, Turning into Fog, and Intelligence! This is an amazing evolution!

[Confirmed, You have chosen the evolution Blood-Fog Lasiurus for your subject, (Unnamed)]

2 hours later:

We went back to the water treatment plant after we had finished eating as many monsters as we could find in the rubble. Cake also regenerated her eyes and legs by mutating, and I also gave her a new upgrade that gives her hardened eyes, so that never happens again.

My egg has yet to hatch but I am impatiently waiting for it, so I guess in the meantime I’ll upgrade some more using all that bat biomass.

SystOs max out my regeneration.

[Confirmed, You have maxed out your regeneration gland using 120 biomass, and as such you may choose one additional upgradeable mutation to add.]

[Necrotic Resistant Regeneration: No longer use biomass to negate Necrosis]

[Poison Resistant Regeneration: No longer use biomass to negate poison or venom]

[Chilled Resistant Regeneration: No longer use biomass to negate chilled]

[Intelligent Regeneration: The body will focus on healing important vitals first]

[Support Gland: Creates another regeneration gland to regenerate the first one if it is destroyed; doesn't have any other purpose]

[Deconstructive Regeneration: Any part of the body that leaves the body will instantly try to enter back into the body to fix itself, allowing for faster regeneration; however, if it cannot do so it will self-destruct]

That’s it? Okay...I guess it’s between the last two but I think I’m leaning more toward the destructive aspect since it gives me faster regeneration and the destructive aspect could be useful although I doubt it will be used much. The support gland could be good if my original one ever takes too much damage and becomes non-functional, however then I could just mutate it again, although it would cost a lot to mutate regeneration again, so maybe it is worth it.

Basically, it comes down to even faster regeneration or risking it and hoping that the gland doesn’t get damaged too much that it can’t repair itself without help. I am usually pretty careful, though, and I have Gothalyn to help me with anything, so I think I’ll be better off with faster regeneration.

[Confirmed, you have chosen Deconstructive Regeneration]

I lose all my senses, and I come to a few minutes later and decide to evolve Kiwi as well as I wait for my new bat.

[There are 628 evolutionary options to choose from; you may choose, allow Kiwi to choose or randomize]

Surprisingly, not as many as I expected. SystOs show me the super basic package for Kiwi’s evolutions.

[Preparing Super Basic Package for client ‘Joy’]

Evolutionary Option #27

[Prayma Sapient - A unique Prayma species that loses all original rock carapace for a smooth lighter one that increases speed while lowering defense. This species gains many aspects of a humanoid being, including facial muscles, hands, and hair to go along with the increase in intelligence and reaction speed. A unique aspect of the Prayma Sapient is the abdomen which has been mutated along the edges to be much sharper. Another unique aspect allows the host to move very fast over a short distance.

[Grand Intelligence (++)

[Size (+)

[Defense (-)

[Speed (+)

Mutation:

Abdomen Slicer

Scythe Dash

Alright, I’ll pick this one, obviously, since this is the same ‘Sapient’ evolution Cake got before turning into the cute, slightly punishment happy and weirdly human Cake I have now.

[Confirmed, You have chosen Prayma Sapient for subject, Kiwi. Approximate evolution time is 6:00]

Kiwi instantly passed out and a thick black ball of goo started to form out of her body while she was sleeping on the couch, possibly ruining it.

I sit with Cake and wait excitedly for either one to do something, while I think of a name for my new bat, which will hopefully turn out super cute since the other bats weren't actually so bad if it wasn’t for their mosquito sack destroying any cuteness points they may have had.

I roll over to the egg to get a better look at it and it definitely looks to be growing something inside of it and a slight glow permeates out of it.

I think I’ll call you, Cinnamon.

[Confirmed, you have given your third subject the name, Cinnamon]

Cinnamon the uhmm… I don’t really know yet she hasn’t been born, but I assume she will have some weird quirk like those two, so I can only hope I can handle it.

Please let this one not be weird!

I just want a normal brainwashed subject!

I mean normal "helpful servant".

Yeah, that sounds much better!