《The Joy of Evolution》Getting to Know Each Other - Ch. 36
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Damn that pigeon, I swear if I get my tendrils on it I will...okay, calm down. It’s nothing to get too overactive about. I have been covered from tendril to suction cup in nothing but radioactive gas, blood, guts, and more radioactive gas. I can handle a little bit of bird poop.
But what I can’t handle is GagOs following through with her plan of creating a 2000 page critique on my handling of shifting the conversation away from possibly getting obliterated by God and toward a more casual conversation; actually, it was not casual at all, I do not consider Gothalyn talking about her stalker-like habits for five hours, a casual conversation.
“Mistake #1: You should have acted less like a human as to avoid suspicion from “that woman” and take advantage of them being indirectly influenced by you due to your practically unknown and useless fluke of a mutation.”
That is...actually quite helpful GagOs. It probably wouldn’t be for the best if Gothalyn got too suspicious of my humanity otherwise she will start asking all manners of questions relating to it and eventually I might crack and say something that leaks the whole isekai thing and gets me killed by voiding that contract. You know GagOs you’re really starting to come around toward me aren’t you.
“Mistake #2: You weren’t wearing your seat belt; which is a very important safety measure in automobiles.”
I...uhh...guess I didn’t. Although seat belts weren’t really built for someone of my small stature or roundness but, I could have made it work if I really cared about vehicular safety as a tentacle monster.
“Mistake #3: You, that’s it, it’s just you, you are a mistake that should have never been born. I hope you’re happ…”
Mute.
I’m sorry GagOs I didn’t catch that? Oh, what’s that I muted you, well I guess I’ll see what Gothalyn is doing, instead.
I crawl over to the window that leads to the front and I squeeze back into the front seat and watch as Gothalyn walks over to the rusty and moss covered gate before sliding it to the side. After that Gothalyn enters back into the truck and drives us all into the area that surrounds an abandoned water treatment plant, the dilapidated building is overgrown with vegetation, sprayed with graffiti, fallen cracked concrete, and overall looking like the local haunted abandoned building that your friends would always try to convince you to go into.
Gothalyn stops the truck in front of the entrance to the building and pops open the back for Cake and Kiwi.
“Follow.” Gothalyn says to me opening the creaking wooden double door into the building.
‘Alright, guys follow Gothalyn,’ I mentally order Cake and Kiwi.
Kiwi robotically wakes up and launched out of the wooden box and Cake hopped off the bed of the truck and began to follow Gothalyn along with me but I decide to check the inside of the building just in case anything overly suspicous is inside.
I’m able to look all around the building with my radar sight, and I can spot, well basically nothing, but I did spot an area that Gothalyn seemed to be guiding us toward in the back since it seemed a little more clear of any trash than the other areas, it also has a large sealed door in the wall which was similiar to some of the other rooms, along with some random pieces furniture but other than that it was just a normal abandoned room, but it did have a large hole to enter it which allowed Cake to enter without getting her shell stuck, since almost all normal doors are almost impossible for Cake to enter due to her shell's width slightly outmatching a normal door.
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Eventually, we all end up in the quite large room and Gothalyn walks over to a desk in the corner and pulls out two books from the drawer. The first one’s title reads, ‘Guide to Handling your Pet Suctioner’ and the second one’s title reads, ‘How Monster’s Mutate’ both are written by someone called Sarah Whittizer.
“Read?” Gothalyn asks me if I can read and looks at Cake for an answer.
“Yes, *krt* I can read,” Cake says slightly chittering before mentally apologizing to me.
‘Meister, I apologize for chittering in your conversation, I have been trying to work on it,’ Cake apologizes to me.
Wait...WHAT!!? I never realized she was or told Cake that her chittering was a problem and she just decided all by herself that she wanted to fix it. This is wonderful news! It means Cake is finally gaining some more independence from me and hopefully one day I’ll be able to have Cake do all her mutations.
‘Great job, Cake!’ I mentally send.
‘Eh! For...for what Meister?’ Cake responds very surprised.
‘For learning how to be independent in your decision making?’ I reply confused since I thought it was obvious what I was talking about.
‘I just assumed that it would be best for you to have a speaker who doesn’t interfere with your conversation.’ Cake replies talking about herself.
‘But that’s exactly it, I never told you to do that. You just assumed I would like it, right Cake,’
‘Yes, Meister you are correct,’ Cake looks at me with her large black eyes and asks, ‘What do you think of my decision?’
‘I didn’t really care either way,’ I reply before saying, ‘...but I do like that I didn’t need to tell you to do something.’
“True. Or. False,” Gothalyn says interuppting my conversation with Cake while pointing at a line of text in the ‘Guide to Handling your Pet Suctioner’ book that reads, ‘A suctioner’s favorite treat is a mixture of carrots, mashed worm, and Sli-snail.’
*mental vomit*
No! Why the hell does it have pictures and why does it somewhat remind of a children's book on how to take care of so and so animals! Why did you have to interrupt my conversation with that!
‘Cake tell her :False! That is awful!:’
“False! That is awful!” Cake shouts at Gothalyn, repeating my words.
‘Really?!’ Gothalyn looks away from Cake and at me in shock and opens up another drawer that contains a plastic bag filled with said ingredients and throws them to the side.
Oh god! You really had that prepared! Why the hell am I getting treated like some damn pet!
It then clicked in my mind that my species might be viewed as a pet in this world. So, that’s the reason why Gothalyn knows about some of my weaknesses and why she actually liked me even before I stuck my tendrils into her brain.
She viewed tentacle monsters like me as a pet even before knowing I existed.
Okay, let me get this straight. You were in a cave to collect some type of radiation sample thingy, got attacked by a nest centipede, beat it off but it damaged your suit and you got some of that itchy radiation and passed out due to the itch, I went down to help and got lucky with my ability which allowed me to easily save you, then unknown to me at the time, I accidentally infected you with some type of slight positive reinforcement toward your love of pet tentacle monsters, which led you to seek me out and try to capture me to keep as a pet but when that failed, you decided to watch me instead and became shocked at my other weird powers, and when it was time for us to go our separate ways since I was just going to use you originally for your knowledge of the exit, which I ended up not even needing anyways. You decide to try and fail to capture me again, which led you to return to, I guess, this city to prepare to find me as I was preparing for my excursion out into the sun.
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And almost none of that would have happened if you just didn’t have your weird opinion of my species! Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that you do since you have been a massive boon to me but seriously haven’t you ever heard of a puppy, cat, or even a hermit crab! I mean look at Cake she is about the cutest monster, and you hardly pay attention to her over me!
I still refuse to believe most humans are like you but I wouldn’t be surprised if there are fan groups on this world's version of the internet, and speaking of the internet I need to get my hands on it as that might be an even faster and safe way to learn about this world without giving Gothalyn too much suspicion toward my past humanity as to avoid breaching the contract, which would most likely end in my immediate death.
As Gothalyn seems to be having a bit of curiosity towards my species needs and tastes. I tell her about my need for internet.
“Do you think I can use a device that connects to the internet, I’ll tell you my species' actual favorite food?” Cake says leaving a bit of bait for Gothalyn, after I realized that Gothalyn seems to be curious about my opinion on pet food.
“Really? Why?” Gothalyn responds surprised and asks about my need for the internet.
“I thought I could use it to better understand humans?” I lie.
“Hmm...Ok,” Gothalyn responds with a creepy smile before asking, “How. know. about. internet?”
Okay! I need to think of an actual lie this time because I am not going to go down another rabbit hole with Gothalyn talking about her sister.
“When I gained the ability to understand you, I gained a little bit of knowledge of this world and I was surprised by the magical technology so I asked you to make sure it was real,” I replied through Cake.
I hope Gothalyn gives me the internet, so I can look up all the stuff of this world, alongside possibly learning more about Gothalyn since I doubt she would want to talk to me about that shady thing she did with that custom's clerk, also I might be able to find out Gothalyn's actual name without being all like, "Yeah, I know I've literally known you for more than a week, but would you please tell me your name?"
I would rather avoid asking that awkward question when I can hopefully just find it on the internet.
===
Brooklyn didn’t believe in the slightest that she had just been lied to by the cute Puffball, in fact, she believed she had just been told some type of revolutionary idea that would change the way people think about monster biology. Brooklyn doesn’t know much about monster biology in the first place since she didn’t finish school - having to make money to keep both her sister and herself housed came at such a cost. However, Brooklyn does know that she has never heard anyone in her life tell her, about a monster that can gain worldly knowledge through a mutation. Brooklyn didn’t know whether this was a weird Puffball thing or if it was something that can happen to any monster; completely negating the fact that it was completely made up.
Brooklyn did also say to herself that she was going to be training Puffball and knowledge is half of any battle, but she would need to borrow her sister’s phone or laptop and give it to Puffball for it to be able to access the internet; she could also just buy one but she is currently unemployed and so to save money she will be borrowing something from her sister tonight after today’s training with Puffball. However, if Puffball somehow ends up destroying her sister’s property, she will be doing more than just taking away Puffball’s toy, which hopefully Puffball should end up liking since her last pet suctioner, Alfred, couldn’t stop playing with it even when it wasn’t blinded by light, and speaking of light shouldn’t Puffball have been blind out in the sun, yet it never seemed to be bothered by it…
‘...Ehh, it’s probably just one of those Puffball things,’ Brooklyn mentally thinks as she pressed a button that opened the sealed door down into the sewer system to begin Puffball’s training, deciding it is best not to question the anomaly that is Puffball, however she is hopeful that it will like Albert’s old toy which is…
...a metal robot action figure that her sister bought alongside the videogame, Voretal 2.
Brooklyn would unwittingly give Joy a toy made from pure iron-y.
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