One of the things I’ve never really thought about before all of this is, what does the big bad do between all of the steps of his plan?

You always see hints of him at each milestone. Maybe a preview final boss fight that gets cut short due to some plot reason so that the final confrontation can still be at the end.

But, if this was a typical story, what would the [Demon Lord] be doing between the fourth dungeon and the final conflict? Where would he go? Would he just disappear until the plot needs him again?

It’s not really something you get to see much of in stories, but I like to think that I was at least productive with my time… Well… Mostly.

---

After doing my [Demon Lord] impression of a meteorite, not too much happened the rest of my hour-long wrath form. I did attract and bat away a few gargoyles, but that was hardly worth mentioning.

When it was finally done, I was left in my normal form, wondering how everything turned out.

I left the [Hero] alone with a boss that I made immune to lightning damage. I winced. Well… If it killed him, we would have reset by now… Right?

I cleared my head of that thought. With the protection the System was giving him, he was honestly just about the last person I needed to worry about.

I also had a new concern. I had gotten some kind of quest notification during my wrath form, and I had no idea what it had said. Because… you know… roar, kill, smash, and all the other fun things associated with having my effective vocabulary reduced to about 10 words.

I wasn’t terribly happy with what I found when I flipped open my status to look at quests.

Compulsory Limited Time Quest.

“Compulsory and timed. Great,” I muttered.

“Open the Demonic Portal!”

Quest details - You have evaded the Hero and managed to activate all 4 elemental dungeons. That has armed the demonic portal in the far west, and it will open if you are alive and in control of the area at the end of 6 months

Underneath that, it had a timer that was ticking down, showing me that I’d already used about an hour of that 6 months.

“Well, at least I have time,” I muttered. It didn’t even take me 3 months to get from the fire dungeon to air… and the river’s going in the right direction this time. I paused. What am I going to do with 4 months’ worth of time? I tabled that thought for a moment and continued reading.

Reward: Demons and monsters under your faction will be able to travel to Placeholder freely from the demonic realms

“Could I just… not get the reward?” I asked the System. It didn’t reply.

Honestly, that was too bad. If the System had been willing to forego my “reward,” I don’t think anyone would have had a problem with me completing the quest.

I continued reading.

Failure: The elemental dungeons will have to be reactivated before another attempt can be made to open the portal

“Wait, what? There are do-overs?” I asked. I reread it, and it sounded more and more like I could have another shot if I failed. “Should I just fail on purpose then? Give the world more time to prepare for invasion later on?”

Honestly, I hated Placeholder, but that wasn’t the peoples’ fault: even Jake and the rest of the party. However, the final line of the quest put aside any plans I might have had for stalling.

Additional Failure Penalty (98.256% chance of occurring): Death

“Nevermind,” I muttered. “Isn’t that a bit redundant with the do-over part? Shouldn’t you lead with that?”

All told, the new quest went along great with its friend that was sitting right below it.

“Re-open the Demonic Portal”

Quest details - The demonic portal was supposed to start open, but due to meddling, it now requires the Demon Lord to activate the four elemental dungeons. Activate all dungeons in sequence and then open the portal in the far west

Reward: You will be sent home

Decline/Failure: You will be stranded in this world with no way to leave

“So, if I win, I go home but cause a bunch of demons and monsters to come to Placeholder. If I lose, I’m stranded here forever. Which isn’t that long because I’ll also die. Great.”

I sat down for a minute and sighed. You know… It’s not like this is anything new, but I guess… a part of me didn’t even think I would make it this far. Now that I have it in writing and just have one piece of the plan left… It feels more real now.

I flipped over to my inventory and found Megan’s necklace. For once, I didn’t pull it out. I already knew what I had to do.

I got back to my feet. “Home stretch. Final phase of my maniacal plan to take over the world,” I chuckled. “Wait.” I groaned as I had a thought. “I’m the bad guy. They always lose on the last stage of their plan.”

I started walking again, but my mind was preoccupied. So. That basically means that it will come down to a final confrontation between the [Hero] and me. Won’t it? And in any story I’ve ever read… That’s where I lose.

I shook my head. “No. That’s where normal bad guys lose. I just have to not make any of the typical stupid mistakes.”

I tried to think that through and realized that I was mostly just trying to develop my own “Evil Overlord List[1].” Yes, it was a bit of a surprise that was kicking around in my memories, but it was both relevant and… not very helpful.

Don’t have minions wear face-concealing helmets. I summoned a dave and looked at him. “You want a helmet?”

He didn’t reply, but I think the answer was no.

Make ventilation ducts too small to crawl through. I shook my head. “Basically, all of the ones about minions or base design are kinda useless.” I thought through some more.

Anything about family members, don’t need… Artifacts and special sources of power? Don’t have any. I frowned. I guess I did give the [Hero] back his sword. Does that mean I’ve already failed?

I kept thinking through. Advisors and minions, no… Advice about not leaving enemies ambiguously dead. “I hope I don’t need that one,” I muttered. “I’m still planning on leaving all of the party alive.” Which, I’m sure, would have gotten me a failing grade immediately.

However, maybe that was telling me was that I wasn’t really cut out for the gig.

I decided to not dwell on that feeling too long, and I kept going through the list.

Not too many of them were directly related to my situation. Usually, an evil overlord comes prepackaged with an evil empire.

I chuckled at that and could imagine the listing now. “[Demon Lord]… Some assembly required.”

I decided to shift gears. “Okay, I’m pretty sure this is going to end up with a big final confrontation between the [Hero] and me, right? So, what do I need to do to prepare?”

I came up with a few things.

First, a plan for the fight itself. I doubted it would be as simple as the last time where [Disrupt] basically did all of the work for me.

Second, some better gear. Some armor and something that could stand up to a sword swing from an OP [Hero]. I pulled out my “borrowed” dagger, and for some reason, I couldn’t imagine its cracked blade holding up to a [Power Strike].

Third, more levels if there was a way to get them. That meant [Flash Step] practice was back on. As for my actual character level, the only thing I knew that was a high enough level would be another dragon. Fortunately, I knew where I could find some. Though… It was going to be painful to go back there.

“Looks like I’m headed to the Dragonlands,” I said.

Then I remembered one important bit of information.

Wait. I know about the 6-month timer… But does the [Hero]? I frowned. If he went off to go claim the fire dungeon, I wasn’t sure that he would have the time to make it.

Not that I wanted him to be on time, but I assumed that giving a bunch of demons and monsters months to set up a foothold would probably go poorly.

I guess dragon-slaying will have to wait a bit. I sighed.

----

“It’s not about the money. It’s about sending a [Message]!” I said as I slammed my fist down on the table in front of the terrified mage. When I realized that my joke didn’t exactly ease tensions, I apologized. “Sorry. Couldn’t help it. Anyway, how much did you say it was going to be again?”

The poor guy stuttered and couldn’t seem to get the words out. My fear aura probably wasn’t helping there either, but I needed it to keep the [Guards] at bay.

As for why the [Guards] were there, I had made my way into the closest town that I could find in Vir that was big enough that I thought I could send a [Message].

It turned out that “big enough to send a [Message]” also meant “big enough to have heard about the [Demon Lord]” and “big enough to have a contingent of [Guards] try to apprehend said [Demon Lord].”

I didn’t really want to get in a fight, so I mostly just turned on my fear aura at full blast. That actually got quite a few to turn tail and run right there. The rest were reduced to merely following me at a distance as I asked around about sending a [Message].

It took a couple different terrified townsfolk before I finally found my answer. My endeavor to give Jake a warning was proving to be a huge pain in the neck.

Speaking of pains, I felt one in my back as I asked the mage how much the [Message] spell would cost me. I turned around and glared at the shaking [Guard] who had managed to work past the fear and run me through with his sword.

I wrenched the sword out of his hands and put it in my inventory.

“Hey, that’s very rude,” I said. “I’m trying to send a [Message] here, and you’re interrupting me. That’s like… this world’s version of being on the phone.”

I directed a bit more of my aura at him. He fell to the ground and scooted away from me while shaking.

“I’ll give you your sword back when I’m done here,” I chided him. Turning back to the mage, I said, “So, how much will it cost to send a [Message] to the [Hero]?”

I dialed back on the aura a bit, and he finally answered. “I umm… haven’t met the [Hero]. So, umm… I’m afraid it isn’t a matter of cost.”

I sighed. “You have to have some kind of [Message] network setup, right? To send along important pieces of information?”

“Umm… yes, but it really should only be used for high priority [Messages] or emergencies.”

I groaned. “Come on! The [Hero] could be going the wrong way to stave off a demon invasion, and you don’t think that counts as an emergency?”

As his eyes widened, I finally realized that I hadn’t exactly explained what [Message] I was trying to send. Probably should’ve led with that.

“So, yes. Short [Message] to the [Hero]. Portal opens in 6 months. Don’t go to Fire Dungeon,” I said. After saying that, I flipped open my status to the quest timer that was ticking down. “Oh. Better make that 5 months, just to be sure.” Then I thought of one more thing. “And tell him to have Tim [Message] me when they get that.”

The mage finally kicked into gear and started writing that down on a piece of parchment he pulled out of his inventory. “I… will… ummm… send that as soon as I have the mana,” he replied.

“Good. So how much do I owe you?” I asked.

He almost seemed more shocked that I was willing to pay for his services than he was that the [Demon Lord] had paid him a personal visit. He also had to awkwardly explain how to open a barter window. After we got all of that squared away, I ended up paying him 2 gold per word and then a 10 gold tip. It felt like a lot for a moment until I realized I wasn’t exactly hurting for money. It turns out that months of monster-slaying with [Monster Magnet] and no living expenses can net you thousands of gold. Who knew that perk would come in handy for something?

Anyway, I also asked if he happened to know of a [Spell Tutor]. I figured on the off chance that the [Message] didn’t get to Jake that I could also try to send my own.

He didn’t know of any, so my business in that town was finally complete.

I walked to the edge of the zone and was a bit surprised that the [Guards] had followed me the entire way.

“Thank you for the escort, gentlemen. Who knows what sort of ruffian I could have encountered if it wasn’t for your intimidating presence?” I joked and prepared to leave them behind for good.

“W-w-wait!” one of them called after me. When I turned and just raised an eyebrow, he clarified. “Y-y-you still have my sword.”

Oh. Right. I promised to give that back. I flipped open my inventory and almost handed him the Starter Sword I had stolen taken seized from an adventurer while acting in self-defense.

After putting that back and pulling out the correct weapon, I looked him in the eye. “You know… You’re either brave enough or crazy enough that you’d probably make a good adventurer.”

“But, I was born here,” he replied. “I-I’m just a [Guard].”

“Apparently, a bunch of people up north became [Berserkers], so maybe you could become a [Warrior] or a [Knight] somehow?” I shrugged. “Anyway, see ya.”

I turned and left the befuddled [Guards] behind as I went to my next objective.

Dragon slaying. No detours. No other stops.

Or at least… That was my plan.

----

I was going down a windy road through some dense forest when I got to an overturned cart in the middle of the road.

A man and a woman stood by it, looking like they were at a loss, so I decided I may as well at least stop by.

“Hey, need some help?” I called out.

“No, we’re fine here! Just move on!” the woman called out.

“Quiet, wench!” I barely heard the man tell her. “Why, yes! Help’d be appreciated,” the man called out to me. They acted a bit odd. The man was all grins, while the woman, a small young lady with messy short hair, shook her head at me when the man wasn’t looking. She also mouthed something I couldn’t quite catch.

I just shrugged and walked over to help. That elicited a small groan from the woman, and the man shot her a harsh glare.

I was finally picking up that something was going on. However, that was when the man motioned for me to take hold of the carriage.

“On the count of three,” he said. “One… Two… Three!” the man shouted the last number.

I heaved with all my might… Which was about half a might too many.

The cart flipped upright, overbalanced to the other side, and fell back over with a loud crash.

I winced. “Sorry about that,” I said as I turned to look at the man.

The man who hadn’t helped with the cart was instead looking at me in shock. The man who had a poorly maintained sword in his hands. The man who had been joined by a group of rough-looking men who had surrounded me during all of that commotion.

The woman finally broke the silence. “Ya nincompoop! I tried to warn ya!”

That seemed to finally give the initial [Bandit] his voice. “Err… We have you outnumbered! Lay down yer coin, or pay with yer life!”

Honestly, I’m willing to admit that it took me a few seconds to finally realize what was going on.

“Wait,” I said. “You’re robbing me?”

“Das what I said, ain’t it?” he said with a laugh. The rest of his cronies laughed along with him.

I joined in with their laughter, and that quieted them down.

“Oh, what’s so funny, eh?” he asked with a snarl. “We’re robbin’ you. We’re the ones dat get to laugh. And it ain’t like you got no [Hero] around to save you or nuthin’ ya beastborn freak!”

“You’re right,” I said. “The [Hero] isn’t here.” I activated my fear aura and picked him up by the collar of his shirt. “But you’re going to wish he was.”

Was it intimidating? Yes.

Did I feel cool doing it? Also yes.

Was it a good plan? … No.

It turns out that you don’t stay alive as a [Bandit] for long without a hearty self-preservation instinct.

That meant that as soon as I activated my aura and picked up their boss, all of the other bandits realized they were on the wrong end of the “mugging the monster” trope. They all turned tail and ran away, leaving me alone with their boss and the woman.

Wait. They ran away and didn’t all attack me to the last man? Video games lied to me! I snickered and shook my head. I’d saved the woman, but a part of me was a bit ticked off about the attempted mugging. Also, I wasn’t exactly in a time crunch.

“So,” I said to my new captive. “Where’s your base at?”

---

I stood there chewing on my lip thoughtfully as I stared at the bandit base. When I’d been attacked by about a dozen guys, I’d assumed their base would be a campfire, a couple tents, and maybe some people lackadaisically keeping watch.

I didn’t expect a fortified area complete with wooden walls and occupancy in the hundreds.

I can definitely take that many. But… I frowned and didn’t finish the thought.

My issue was that in video games, taking on bandit forts was always so simple. Go in. Kill all the bandits (who would never run away), and you’re done.

Not only did I have to worry about the fact that I might end up scattering hundreds of bandits off in different directions, but I also didn’t particularly feel like becoming a murderer.

To make matters worse, I couldn’t even justify bandit slaying as “self-defense” because not only would I be assaulting their fort, I could hardly convince myself that they were threatening my life when they were that much weaker.

However, I didn’t need to rush things, so I went back to where I had stowed my two companions.

“He give you any trouble?” I asked the young woman, who I had learned was named Adeline.

“None,” she said with a smile as she put away the sword that she had been holding up to his throat. “Isn’t that right?”

The bound and gagged man grunted dismissively, but that quickly turned to a grunt of agreement/terror when I hit him with another dose of fear aura.

“So, I ‘ppreciate you saving me from them and all, but are you sure it’s a good idea taking on all them [Bandits]?” she asked.

I frowned. “Yeah, I don’t know. It’s not an issue of being able to fight them. It’s that they’ll be able to run away.”

“Wow. You’re real confident aren’tcha,” Adeline shook her head. “I wish I could help, but I’m not much for fighting.” She grinned. “Unless you got a way to hold ‘em all down in place like that one over there.”

I laughed along with her and then paused. “Wait,” I said. “Maybe I do.”

I told her my plan, and we used our captured [Bandit] for a proof of concept.

Adeline thought it was absolutely crazy, but given her wide smile, I could tell that she was in.

-----

Days’ worth of preparations were complete. A dark, moonless night had fallen. It was time to infiltrate the base, and I made my way stealthily across the cleared area around the walls.

I made it to the wall with no issue. I now had to actually scale them, but I had a plan for that. I ran and jumped, kicked off the wall with a [Flash Step], and barely managed to get a hand up on top of it.

At this point, I should note that the wall was topped with spikes. Clamping my hand down onto those to get a handhold hurt. A lot. My HP dropped just a little according to my health bar, and I was prepared for it, but I still had to muffle my grunt of pain.

I hefted myself up onto the wall and got a surprise as I did.

System: Zone entered, The Camp. Faction - Bandit

I looked down into the middle of the camp and saw a 5-foot tall, grey obelisk sitting there. An obelisk here? I had a thought. Well, I guess that would make a good distraction.

It would mean a slight deviation from my plan, but it wasn’t like this part of the plan had anything more than “get as much attention from the bandits as possible” and “try not to scare them into running too soon.”

I hopped down from the wall and landed in a crouch. I winced a bit at the dull thud that I made on landing, but no one seemed to notice me.

I made my way over to the obelisk, put my hand on it, and then realized I was an idiot.

Wait. Claiming this will tell them that I’m the [Demon Lord]. And it might also put it in combat mode. I wasn’t sure about that second part. My incredibly exhaustive tutorial knowledge, for some reason, didn’t cover if obelisks you found in cities were different than the ones you saw in the wild.

However, this one was also a lot smaller than all of the other ones I had seen. And that gave me an idea. A wonderfully stupid idea.

My first couple of attempts failed.

Maybe I have to be holding it?

I put my arms around it and wrenched it free. I felt a vein bulge in my head as I tried to lift it. What is this made of? Neutronium?

I ended up grunting loudly without even meaning to, but I lifted it into the air… and popped it into my inventory.

The first message was expected.

System: Zone entered, Wilderness

The second was slightly concerning.

System: Zone entered, The Camp. Faction – Bandit

The ones after that were... Well…

System: Zone entered, Wild Zone entered, erness The Camp. Faction – Bandit

System:

System: Zone entered, Wie Crne. F ion Ban

System: Zone entered, ThedermpssFac - B it

Uh oh. My body started feeling sluggish, and I tried to look around. It obeyed me, but very slowly. As I did, I could tell I wasn’t the only one being affected. Off in the distance, I could start to see the individual flickers of torches.

System : You could barely go a full year without grinding the System to a halt again. Couldn’t you?

AltSys! I raged as soon as I saw his words.

System : Look. I’m just as enthused about contacting you as you are hearing from me. But I need your help.

And why the heck would I ever help you? I tried to snort, but all physical motion had ceased.

System : Because if you don’t, this world will be stuck until another admin stumbles on it. And you can bet for sure that Admin wouldn’t waste his time fixing this.

I let my anger simmer and decided that I may as well listen. Fine. Tell me what you need and then leave.

System : I just need you to give me access to your inventory.

I would have raised an eyebrow at that. I didn’t even need to think another thought before AltSys continued.

System : This world’s inventory is all coded as its own dimension that every character is technically touching at all times.

System : You just shoved a claimed obelisk in your section of it, and that bled over, and now the System can’t figure out which zone some people are actually in. Since, you know, the inventory dimension’s never supposed to have one.

The explanation made sense… except for one part.

Well, aren’t you an all-powerful admin? Why do you need my permission?

System : Being an admin doesn’t mean I’m all-powerful. We already covered that. And your little stunt here broke a lot of stuff in the inventory dimension.

System : I just need read access to your inventory to grab the pointer[2] to the Bandit Obelisk.

You don’t even have read access to my inventory? I mentally snorted. That took a bit of effort, but I managed it.

System : Yes. And you’d realize that if you had half an idea of what Memory Protection was actually doing for you.

That actually shut me up for a second. However, I was still wary.

And how am I supposed to believe you?

System : You know what? Fine. Give me a second. I’ll reroute some stuff and get Quests working. Just. For. You.

I had to kind of imagine that he left in a bit of a huff because I was left there frozen for a few minutes. They felt pretty long with nothing to do.

System: Quest offered. “Help AltSys fix the inventory you broke, you ungrateful jerk.”

Quest details - Give me read access to your inventory, you punk.

Reward: AltSys will leave you alone and never message you again as long as you live

Decline/Failure: You will stay in a frozen state forever

System : There. Accept the quest.

I looked it over. Nah. I’m good. I bluffed.

System : Okay. I tried. See ya

I lasted a whole 30 seconds before I caved. Okay, fine. I accept the quest.

System: Quest Accepted

Now what?

System : Just think that you give me read permission to your inventory.

I debated that for a few frozen seconds. However, at the end of the day, he kind of had me over a barrel. Honestly, I was a bit surprised that he wasn’t forcing me to give up the quest or something.

System : If I could force you to give up the quest, I would. But I can’t.

Let me guess. I had to stop myself from attempting an eye roll. You can’t tell me why you can’t force me to give up the quest. Can you?

System : You want an answer? Fine. I can’t force you to give it up because you win. There. You happy?

I… What? I would have been reduced to simply blinking in confusion there, but the whole time stoppage thing was starting to get a bit annoying.

System : You win. You complete the quest. You open the portal.

I’ll… Win? But… why would you tell me that?

System : Because none of it matters anymore. I can’t stop you. I can’t change things, despite all my best attempts. It has to end exactly the same way, and I can’t change a dang thing.

There was a part of me that actually felt a bit sorry for him for a moment.

I give AltSys read-only permission to my inventory…

But he was still the a-hole who dragged me into this whole mess and was the reason that Megan was dead.

For the next 5 minutes only.

System : I know you did that just to be a prick about it, but that’s all I needed.

System: Quest completed. “Help AltSys fix the inventory you broke, you ungrateful jerk.”

Well, if anything, you gave me the easiest quest I’ve ever done. I thought as the world slowly started getting back into motion. I waited for a second. AltSys? Then I finally remembered. Oh. I completed the quest, so he can’t talk to me anymore. Huh.

I wasn’t quite sure what to think about that, but that was fine because I had another situation to deal with.

“He’s done something to the level-up stone! Get ‘im!” came shouts from the walls.

Mainly the fact that I was surrounded by an entire fortress of [Bandits]. You know, I’d somehow managed to forget about that.

I assumed that was a good enough signal for Adeline, but I still needed to buy a bit more time.

I decided I would give them a bit of a chase, so I took off at blinding speed… Except for the part where my legs didn’t move.

System: You are over-encumbered and cannot move

“Oh. Right. Inventory weight,” I said to myself even as a group of [Bandits] with torches and rusty swords charged at me.

The solution was simple enough, and I opened my inventory to dump the obelisk.

Normally, pulling things out was near-instant. This was… not.

“Any time now!” I growled at my inventory as the first [Bandits] reached me.

The first one swung his sword at me. I punched it, which surprised the heck out of him, and then I batted him across the face and sent him tumbling. All of that without an [Elemental Strike]. I was still not wanting to kill anyone, after all.

That would have been enough to send them running if they hadn’t figured out my predicament.

“Get ‘im from behind!” one shouted.

That led to possibly the most awkward fight I’ve ever had. I could still hit behind me, but I still couldn’t move my legs. I could only rotate my torso and clumsily throw out punches and elbow strikes at the attacking [Bandits].

Even as restricted as I was, they quickly realized that taking me on in melee was an awful idea.

They backed off, and I soon had some arrows being shot my way. I dodged a few of them and even grabbed a few of them out of the air.

“What’s all this?!” I heard someone roar.

“Boss! He messed with the level-up stone! It’s gone!”

I soon saw the owner of the first voice. He was a lumbering giant who looked almost 7 feet tall and had a wicked scar that ran over his perpetually closed left eye.

I had a quick internal debate about how that type of wound was even possible in a world of damage only reducing HP, but that was interrupted when my inventory finally finished pulling out the obelisk.

It crashed heavily to the ground in front of me and rolled a few feet, even as the System message appeared.

System: Zone entered, The Camp. Faction - Bandit

“Sorry,” I called. “Was this yours?”

He growled, and that gave me an idea. I sent a bit of wrath aura his way, and it worked its magic. He pulled out his greatsword and charged me.

I… may have overestimated my opponent. As soon as he brought his blade down in a huge overhead chop, I was already spinning around it and peppering him with [Fire Strikes].

The first and second strikes landed, and I was already on the way to hit him again when I realized he was collapsing.

I stopped up short. Oops. Did I overdo it?

The [Bandit], or possibly [Bandit Boss] or something, fell heavily to the ground as the camp erupted into chaos.

“He’s killed the boss!” came one shout.

I nudged the prone form over with one foot.

“Hey, are you dead?” I asked. He groaned, so I nodded. Okay. We’re good. Now, part two.

I activated my fear aura and let it wash over all the [Bandits] that were left. They immediately turned tail and ran for the gate. They forced it open… And saw Adeline waiting there behind an army of daves several rows thick.

“M-m-monsters!” one called.

“Just force your way past them!” another one shouted back.

The second one sounded too reasonable for what I wanted, so he got a dave to the face courtesy of [Air Strike] airlines.

Him collapsing to the ground and screaming as an acidic slime monster tried to eat him was exactly what I needed to convince the other [Bandits] to stop in their tracks. Which, I admit, was a bit horrific, but it’s not like it did any lasting damage. Or at least… No lasting physical damage. I can’t speak for what any of my attack did psychologically to anyone there.

I called the dave off of him as soon as he dropped below 0 HP. Then I healed both him and the [Bandit] leader with a bit of my health potion.

“I will now accept your full and unconditional surrender,” I stated.

It took a second or two for the first weapon to go clattering to the ground, but it was soon followed by the sound of many others joining it.

----

I looked over the bandits, who were all waiting there with a dave riding on their shoulder or back.

“You sure you’re going to be alright taking them all in?” I asked.

“Oh, it’ll be my pleasure,” Adeline replied. “Are you sure you don’t want any of the reward money?”

I double-checked my gold and shrugged. “I’m fine. Also… I might have some problems with the law that I’d rather you not have to deal with.”

She gave me an understanding nod. If only she knew. “Alrighty then. Well, Titus. It was a pleasure meeting ya.”

I just gave her a small wave as she whistled twice and got her caravan in motion.

It was honestly a hilarious sight—one small woman herding around 200 [Bandits].

They had tried to run a few different times. However, a quick whistle was all it took for all the [Bandits] to be grappled into place by their daves. And any attempt to shake them off or otherwise attack them led to a bit more… violent response.

They learned their lesson quickly.

“Oh, and what should I do with all these critters after I hand over these [Bandits]?” Adeline called after she was a bit of a ways off.

“Go ahead and keep ‘em, I guess,” I called back. I had told daves to obey her, so I figured it would work out okay.

I didn’t hear her reply, but I could imagine her grin.

That diversion taken care of, there was nothing that could stop me from farming dragons until I could no longer gain levels.

----

“Stop hiding, you scaley cowards!” I shouted into the forested area of the dragonlands.

I hadn’t seen a single sign of a dragon in days.

My plan had worked flawlessly for the first 3 dragons, and I had managed to hit level 20. However, after that, they must have wisened up and learned to avoid the cave and my new dave army that was waiting in ambush.

Either way, my plan of farming dragons until I no longer got experience was ruined.

At least I got some stats, I guess.

I flipped open my status and compared it to what I had before.

Status

Name: Titus

Level: 20

Class: Demon Lord

Race: Demon Lord

HP: 350/350

MP: 262/262

SP: 525/525

Age: 24

20 HP. 30 SP. 15 MP. That makes 10 HP a level, 15 SP a level, and …7.5 MP? I shook my head. Why are MP numbers always so messed up?

The extra stats and speed were nice but not nearly the advantage I hoped to get over the party for our final fight.

A part of me wanted to keep looking for dragons to try to get at least a few more levels. However, I knew that I couldn’t afford to spend all my time dilly-dallying, or I would miss my own final confrontation.

I snorted. “Could you imagine that? The [Hero] makes it all the way to the portal for our final showdown… And I’m not there.” I pictured him dramatically opening the doors to find only a sign that said “gone fishing” or “on break. Back in five.”

A part of me was tempted to try something like that, but there was the whole issue where me failing the quest had a 98% chance of me dying.

Yeah… Not gonna risk it.

That meant that there was only one thing left to do in the dragonlands. Something that I was dreading the most.

I walked there past my waiting daves in silence.

“Hey, Megan. It’s me,” I said to her mausoleum. “Sorry I haven’t visited more, but… things have been hectic. I’ve been all over the place. Ever since… Ever since…”

My words mostly failed me after that.

What do you say at the grave of the woman you loved? At the grave of the woman you killed?

In the end, I settled for crying. No one was there to judge me but the daves, and I don’t think they cared.

I don’t know how long I stayed there grieving, but I eventually forced myself up. I still needed to get some more equipment. I also really felt like I could go for a drink. Or more likely a couple dozen drinks.

Fortunately, I knew a place that should be able to help with both.

----

It was evening, and [Guard Commander] James was enjoying one of his rare days off. He cast his line back into the lake and waited.

Part of him was tempted to take up the [Fisher] class. He wasn’t sure he would ever get it past level 1, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t enjoy himself with it.

System knows that he needed some type of stress relief after dealing with adventurers all day.

At least it had been quiet for the past few days, and none of them had done truly idiotic things like walk in and steal things from people’s houses directly in front of them.

That had been perhaps the oddest case of his life, and their defense was also truly bizarre. “I don’t know what an en pea sea is, but it almost seemed like a slur,” James muttered to himself.

He pulled his line back in but didn’t have a bite. That didn’t matter, though. It was just him, his rod, and most importantly, no adventurers. He gave a contented sigh and settled back down.

“[Guard Commander]! There’s trouble!” came a shout from up the hill.

James didn’t reply. Maybe if I ignore it, it will handle itself.

“It’s adventurer-related!” the [Guard] huffed as he finally made it in view.

By the blue text, James swore internally. It’s always adventurers. He kept his face and voice neutral for his reply, though. “What is it, guardsman?” he asked the out of stamina [Guard].

“There’s a… new adventurer… in town… causing trouble,” the [Guard] got out between wheezing breaths.

James sighed. There goes my day off. “Alright, walk with me and tell me about the situation.”

“We think he may be the [Demon Lord],” he followed up after finally catching his breath.

James almost swore again. “Lead with that, man! Why wasn’t a [Message] sent?” James almost took off running into town.

The [Guard’s] reply stopped him. “The mages were out of mana, and what they had was sent on a [Message] to the [Hero].” He paused for a second. “And… the adventurer is being a public disturbance, but that’s about it?”

James’s eyes narrowed. “Explain.”

James listened as the [Guard] detailed all the reported disturbances.

“He barged into [Judge] Lawson’s court and demanded to pay his fine for murder of all things. He was blatantly disrespectful, so the [Judge] told him that he was finding him in contempt of court.” The [Guard] shook his head. “The adventurer just threw a 10-gold piece at him and said he could do that all day.”

That concerned James because adventurers had money, but not enough to pay for a murder charge or enough that a 10 gold fine would be trivial. “What next?” James asked.

“He went to the shopping district.” The [Guard] paused. “Oh, and he caused a bit of a disturbance along the way too. He has some unknown skill that lets him vanish and reappear a few feet away. He used that about every minute.” That tangent finished, the [Guard] continued. “When he got there, he visited a few [Blacksmiths] and checked out their knives and swords. He actually broke quite a few knives by swinging the swords into them.”

“And you arrested him right there for destruction of property, right?” James interrupted.

The [Guard] shifted uneasily. “Well… He paid for them. And at adventurer rates too. The [Blacksmiths] weren’t thrilled with how he used them, but…” the [Guard] shrugged. “He also bartered with some monster parts that came from giant fire-breathing beasts that he called dragons. We didn’t get any complaints after that.”

James sighed. “Then what?”

“He looked at some armor but didn’t seem to find any that he liked. He mentioned it ruining his mobility? Anyway, after that, he bought out all of the potions he could find.”

“He’s possibly the [Demon Lord], and the [Alchemists] let him buy their entire stock?” James asked incredulously.

The [Guard] shifted. “Well, he was really polite to the [Alchemists], and… adventurer rates.”

James just shook his head.

“He made a quick stop at the [Cartographer] and bought a map. Finally, he went to a [Spell Tutor] and told him he wanted to learn [Message],” the [Guard] continued. “That actually got heated, and he tried to intimidate the man into teaching him.”

“And you finally arrested him?”

“Actually… Yes. But, the adventurer just went, paid his fine, and then went back to badgering the [Spell Tutor] until he finally gave in.”

They were finally back inside Vir, so James asked the most important question. “So, where is he now?”

“Last I had heard, he mentioned something about getting a drink?” the [Guard] replied.

So, after that, James went from tavern to tavern, asking about the disruptive adventurer. He’d been to all of them. Most of them were closed down. They were out of alcohol.

By Vir’s crown, how is that man not dead yet? At some point, James’s anger turned into something close to admiration. He’s had enough to drown my entire command and then some.

However, any admiration he may have had fled when he finally caught sight of the man.

Titus (who he recognized on sight) was drunk. Impossibly drunk. And he could tell just by looking at him.

“Barkeeeeeep. Anotha round!” Titus drunkenly raised a hand and nearly fell off his barstool.

The [Demon Lord]. The enemy of humanity. The one who may destroy us all. James thought dryly as Titus struggled to lift the mug to his lips without spilling.

He decided to talk to [Bartender] first.

“Any reason you haven’t cut him off?” James asked.

The [Bartender] whispered back. “Well… He’s the [Demon Lord], right?” James nodded. “I can hardly say no then, and if he happens to drink himself to death…” The [Bartender] shrugged.

“Unfortune… misfortunate… Shorry for you! My poishon resistancesh to poishons is ridicule… redonc…!” Titus finished with a hiccup. He slid his empty tankard down the bar, which ended up tipping over and falling on the floor. “Another round!”

James walked over and sat down on the stool next to him.

Titus turned to him. “Shorry bub. I’m not lookin’ for company.” Immediately after that, James felt a spike of fear drive into his heart. It gave him no doubt in his mind that the man… no… the monster in front of him could end him in a moment if he chose to.

But as a [Guard Commander], he stood his ground. Even if that just meant staying on his stool and trying to hide his white-knuckled grip on the bar.

Eventually, Titus tsked, and the unnatural fear died down. “Fine. Shtay. Do what you want.” He sloppily drained another tankard and then called for yet another round.

“So, what brings you here?” James finally asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be heading west?”

Titus waved his hand dismissively. At least… James thought it was meant to be dismissive. With the amount of swaying Titus was doing, it was hard to tell. “I got noth-nothin’ but time.” Titus stared off into the middle distance, and James assumed he was attempting to read something in his System-granted status. He scowled and must have given up, as he didn’t say anything farther.

“So…” James asked. “Is there any reason you’re intent on drinking the entire town’s supply of alcohol?”

Titus snorted. “That’sh just what it takesh to get me drunk. Jusht another fun perk in this heck hole of a world!”

James paused. “And I don’t suppose I could ask you to leave town, quietly?”

“No. You can’t.” Titus said with a hiccup. “Now. Leave me alone, or thingsh could get ugly.”

The unnatural fear was back, but James fought through it. “Are you threatening a [Guard Commander]?” he asked with a mostly level voice.

“Sho what if I am? I’ll jusht pay the fine!” Titus slurred out and then stared off into the distance.

Based on all of the earlier reports, James was expecting some more rude words, and perhaps a coin tossed his way. He didn’t expect Titus’s sheepish grin.

“Uh… I may be outta gold,” he whispered quietly.

James grinned. Got him. “Well, then I’m afraid you’re going to have to come with me.”

Surprisingly, Titus didn’t fight back. Instead, he let James lead him off and practically carry him to jail.

James had done it. He had managed an arrest on the [Demon Lord].

He felt triumphant until he jostled him a bit too hard, and Titus vomited all over his boots.

That confirmed only one thing for him as he locked Titus into jail for his short stay.

I hate adventurers.

[1] Evil Overlord List – Complete list (Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach) is available at http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html. The list is a tongue-in-cheek list of “The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord.” It includes sage advice for anyone wanting to become an evil overlord like “I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am,” and “I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.”

[2] Pointer – A type of variable that is meant to *point* to another variable (i.e. it stores the location of the other variable instead of actual data).