The unknown. Usually, when you think of the unknown, it means traveling off to unexplored lands to see new things.

The unknown can be many things. Scary. Exciting. Intriguing.

Maybe that’s why so many people want to go where no one else ever has before.

However, I think it’s easy to forget in traveling to new lands, you often bring the unknown with you as well…

---

As I walked away from the party with my tundra wolf in tow, I couldn’t help but think. How the frick did I win that fight?

My plans to [Disrupt] the party and take the [Hero’s] sword had ended up going perfectly, but it was still 7 versus 1. Well, mostly.

“I guess Andrew didn’t really do that much. He only ever [Healed] himself,” I muttered. “I guess he did also [Haste] me. The fight would’ve been a lot harder without that.” I snorted.

“And Sam… Sam didn’t even attack until the [Hero] got on her case.” I felt a brief sting remembering what she said, but I shook my head and tried to think about something else.

“I bet it would have all been over if the [Hero] had decided to [Sunder] me. Or maybe not. Maybe I have enough HP to survive one attack?” I puzzled over that until I realized that I hadn’t checked how much damage his normal attack did.

I flipped open my status and blanched. “151 HP left out of 385!? That’s 230 damage!” I groaned, “And that wasn’t even a [Power Strike]! What would a [Sunder] have done to me?”

I shuddered. 2 hits. 2 hits, and I go down. The level difference doesn’t mean anything there.

I stopped in my tracks as I had a disturbing thought. What happens if I get knocked down below 0 HP? I remembered all my deaths in the tutorial and how I wasn’t able to move. Can… Wrath form still activate when I’m dying? I chuckled a bit nervously as I determined it would be best if I never, in any circumstance, tried to test that.

I started walking again and thought about what else I had learned from that fight.

[Disrupting] the party did wonders. They were practically tripping over themselves, and they had to be really light on their ranged attacks. I thought about how Emilia basically never let up, even when Garrett was [Raging], and I scowled. At least most of them.

I also learned that I can’t just punch his attacks to block them. I frowned. It worked on arrows earlier. Does it just not work on blades? Or is it just because his damage numbers are ridiculously high? I decided to find someone without an OP demon-slaying sword or an OP demon-slaying class to test that with.

Then I remembered the two purchases I made at the obelisk right before the fight. I tried to [Flash Step] forward again, and I once again barely moved. I also barely stayed on my feet. To make matters worse, I tried to activate it again and found it had a minute cooldown.

As for my spell…

“{Hail Blaze],” I said as it fizzled.

I still couldn’t even say its name.

At least [Flash Step] can improve. I just have to… Use it a lot. I sighed. “On the bright side, if I get it high enough, it’ll be perfect for running away if the party tries to corner me at the next dungeon.”

I messed around with it quite a bit after that. I was still only able to go a single foot with it, but I did find that I could go a single foot in any direction as long as I pushed off the ground that way. Any direction. Including up. Not that I found that particularly helpful since I could jump way higher than a foot, but I decided to keep that thought in the back of my mind.

My regen was more than enough to keep up with the 10 SP that it cost me to use every minute, so I practiced all the way until I reached the edge of the zone.

I had gone east instead of south because I figured it’d be best if I didn’t run into Gertrude or any of her [Berserkers]. That meant I had to [Fire Strike] and dave my way through the ice walls again.

When I was finished with that, I took one last look back at the dungeon.

I had a brief thought of what would happen if I didn’t return the sword, but I figured it would likely get someone killed, and time would reset back to right where I didn’t decide to give it up.

Or worse, it could put me all the way back to fighting the party again.

Would I have been able to take them on if I had known that the [Hero] can two-shot me? I decided to just keep it simple and stick to my word.

I opened my inventory, was mildly surprised at the random 100 gold, torch, and the health potion, and pulled out the Hero’s Sword.

I gave the tundra wolf the sword by the hilt and told it to take it back to the dungeon.

Then, I was off.

I did my best to skirt around zones as I slowly walked east (and later, after I thought I would be safe from [Berserkers], southeast). I continuously practiced my [Flash Step] and didn’t run into too many problems.

I did have one bout of confusion when my [Flash Step] doubled in length to a whopping two feet, but a quick check of my skills confirmed the culprit.

“Yup, it finally hit level 2,” I said. “If it’s only a foot per level, that’s not going to help much.” I internally played the devil’s advocate. I guess 2 feet isn’t much for a gap-closer, but… Maybe I can just use it for dodging instead? Then I finally noticed something else in my skill list.

“What are these?” I murmured. I had 3 new skills that I hadn’t seen before. [Rapid Formation Change], [Locate Ore Vein], and the one that finally made me realize what was going on [Ore Quality Increase].

Right! That’s the one that foreman said level 3 [Miners] get! I flipped over to my subclasses and saw as expected that I was now a level 2 [General] and a level 3 [Miner]. I sighed. It must have done those when I upgraded at the obelisk… I still really wish this user interface didn’t suck.

Aside from that, my travels were just walking and [Flash Stepping] for days, except a day or two where I had stayed in one place due to a blizzard.

I eventually got back to the sea. Or ocean. Whatever the heck that body of water was.

From there, it was just swimming in a straight line.

Until the storm happened.

It was the type of storm that would absolutely terrify you if you were on a boat. The kind that would capsize you or blow you miles off course.

I didn’t have to worry about capsizing or drowning. However, I got tossed and blown around so much that I had no idea which way was which anymore (except up and down, and even those were up in the air at times). To make matters worse, the storm lasted for days, and there was no sign of the sun or stars for the entire time.

I eventually just gave up and let the wind and the waves push me along.

I didn’t really find land. It was more that land found me.

I hadn’t even seen it approaching until the waves mercilessly dropped me on the sandy beach, and I was left staring at sand that met a thick forest covered in fog.

I dried myself off with a [Fire Strike], not that it was too helpful since it was raining pretty hard. Then I sat down on the sand to just think for a minute.

Go back out on the water? I looked at the howling wind and waves and decided that was a no-go. That leaves… Further inland, or go around on the beach?

I must have ruminated too long because another large wave crashed on the shore and threatened to pull me back into nature’s take on the washing machine.

I sputtered a bit, got up, and dried myself off with another [Fire Strike]. “Forest it is,” I muttered.

I walked up to the edge of the forest. The System message that I got made me pause.

System: Zone entered, ???. Faction - ???

That… Is absolutely terrifying.

I stepped back until the System told me I was in the wilderness again. I had learned my lesson about entering zones during insane weather events, and I wasn’t about to repeat that with a strange forest in the middle of nowhere. Especially when the System couldn’t even seem to decide where I was or who owned the place.

Initially, I just stood there. Then my boredom graduated to pacing and [Flash stepping] when it was off cooldown. Then I finally decided I needed to do something because sitting there with nothing to do was killing me.

I decided to try to circumnavigate the forest. I had no idea if that would put me closer to my goal or farther away, but I simply didn’t have anything better to do.

I started a slow run so that I would still have the stamina to [Flash Step] every minute, and I started making my way around the woods, exiting the zone as soon as possible every time I accidentally entered it.

I couldn’t help an eery feeling that I was being watched.

----

“What is yond mortal doing?” she asked.

“That gent seemeth to wend ‘round our territ’ry,” she was answered.

“Well, eith’r f’rce that gent to cometh in ‘r maketh that gent stay out! His constant comings and goings art becoming a nuisance!” She peered at him closer through her [Scry][1] and frowned. “I doth not recognize the spell yond mortal is using to moveth like yond. Has’t any of thee seen t bef’re?”

She was answered with a chorus of nays.

She grinned wickedly. “Very well, I has’t hath decided. We shalt has’t our first visitor in aeons. Bringeth that gent here!”

Her pronouncement was met with cheers, and lots were cast for the one to bring the mortal in.

---

The wind was still howling around me, but I was feeling more and more paranoid. I would’ve sworn that I had heard something coming from the woods, but every time I turned to look, nothing was there.

After the third time I stopped and turned to look at the trees, I came up with an idea. I faked like I would turn back and jog again, but I instead immediately turned to face the forest.

There! I just barely caught a glimpse of… something… in the trees out in the forest, at the edge of the fog.

I tried to pull the same trick again, but it didn’t work. I also still felt watched, but I no longer heard or saw anything in the woods.

I looked at the trees that were shaking in the wind, and I second-guessed myself. Maybe I was seeing things after all. I shrugged and continued on my way.

---

The chosen scout was met with jeers and boos.

“I couldn’t help it!” the scout said in defense. “That gent ign’r’d all of mine own illusions! A t’rrifying beast behind, a quite quaint mistress in the f’rest, that gent didn’t respond to a one! And though I did hide from both sight and sound with spell, that gent still doth manage to sense me!”

“Yond only maketh that gent all the m’re intriguing,” she replied. She called to the next one. “Charm that gent ‘til not of his is left if thou must, but bringeth that gent h’re.”

She went back to peering at her [Scry] and saw that the mortal was watching the woods warily.

“T matt’rs not thy caution, mortal. Thee shalt be mine.”

----

I decided to put a bit more space between me and the forest. It meant I was going to get my boots wet and that I had to be cautious of being dragged out to sea again, but I was starting to get seriously creeped out.

In fact, I was starting to wonder if I was far enough away from it when I thought I caught another glimpse of something.

That’s it. I need to… Go check out the forest right away! I nodded merrily to myself at the gloomy surroundings as I approached it. Everything will be perfectly fine! I admired the beautiful woods, with its creepy fog, and I started humming happily to myself.

Meanwhile, there was a part of me that was screaming that something was terribly wrong.

I was just a few feet from the woods when I snapped out of my stupor and [Flash Stepped] away… Which was a little less effective than just jumping away, but at least my mind was back in the right place.

What. The frick. Was that? I cautiously walked backward away from the forest, even as I found the answer.

System: You are charmed

System: You are no longer charmed

“Come out! I know you’re out there!” I shouted at the forest, even as I continued backing off. “Your tricks won’t work on me!”

Nothing came out, and I kept backing away.

Waves lapped up at my heels, and I paused. I think I like my odds better out there. I ran and dove into the water.

----

“Imbecile! Thee afeard the mortal hence!” she seethed.

“Tis nay fault of mine!” came the indignant reply. “T took 7 attempts f’r the ens’rcellment to land, and then that gent hath broken free from t liketh t wast nothing.”

“Well, I shall has’t to doth something myself bef’re such a delicious m’rsel escapes,” she decreed imperiously.

It was her turn, and there would be no more mistakes.

----

I didn’t make much headway against the crashing waves. It turned out that level 18 or not, nature was still stronger than I was.

I got tossed back ashore but didn’t give up and tried to leave yet again.

The same thing happened again and again.

On the third time, I ended up dangerously close to the forest.

That time, I heard a woman sobbing loudly enough to be barely heard over the storm. I took a closer look but couldn’t see the origin of the voice.

“You know,” I shouted. “I’m pretty stupid sometimes, but I’m not that stupid.”

“Well, fie on thee mortal!” I heard a shout answer back. “If’t be true thee wonneth’t come, I shalt take thee myself!”

I was prepared to fight or to run. I was not prepared for the being that came flying at me out of the forest.

I felt the unforgettable feeling of being teleported, and I was no longer on the beach.

----

Fairies. I thought to myself as I observed my surroundings and attempted to appear calm.

The System also seemed to be done with its conniption.

System: Zone entered, The Fey Forest. Faction - Fey

I could no longer hear the storm, and the fog had lifted somewhat. I could see pretty clearly at ground level, but it was still thick higher up, and I couldn’t see the sun.

As for my newly visible surroundings, I had appeared in a drab clearing. All around, there were trees grown in peculiar shapes, many of them like furniture or houses. They all seemed surprisingly utilitarian given the occupants, but at least one thing made sense. Everything was tiny.

Speaking of the occupants, I was surrounded by a bunch of tiny flying women. They had wings like butterflies, and they flitted around to each other, whispering and giggling. They were kind of cute, and that was almost enough to put me at ease.

Almost.

These aren’t Peter Pan fairies. These are tricksters. Powerful magicians, too, unless [Teleport] is a lot easier than I thought.

Then one of them opened their mouth a bit too wide, and I caught a glimpse of serrated teeth.

I almost turned and ran right then.

Stay calm. I somehow kept myself still and kept most of the panic off my face. If you run, they’ll be able to catch you. They can teleport. You just have to… Keep them entertained. I almost nodded, but then I immediately second-guessed myself. And what if they decide to keep me forever then? I then saw another serrated smile and thought, That’s still probably better than being eaten.

Fortunately, my downward-spiral panic attack was interrupted by another fairy appearing in the middle of the clearing. I recognized her immediately as the one I was [Teleported] by.

“The [Queen] returns!” the other fairies in the clearing shouted.

“Forsooth! I hath returned and hath brought yon gent!” the [Queen] proclaimed.

There was even more excitement at her proclamation.

Meanwhile, I was still trying to figure out what she said.

Okay. You got me. I silently said to the System. I did not expect the possibly cannibalistic fairies to speak bad Shakespearean English. That did give me an idea, though. If they had old-timey speech, maybe they would respect old-timey values?

“Your majesty,” I said. I started to bow, but I was hit with the same feeling of anger and stubbornness that I had felt when I had been told to kneel before [Queen] Gertrude.

Come on! I yelled at myself. You have to be polite here, or death may be the least of your problems!

I managed to force myself past my misgivings, and I gave a deep bow. I also felt like I wanted to hurl, but I managed to ignore that too.

“I thank you for inviting me here to be your guest,” I said as I stood up straight again.

That caused murmurs to spread throughout the gathered fey.

“Didst the lady truly giveth yond gent guest rights?”

“Surely not! The lady wilt has’t fopped him to enter and hath brought him hither after!”

After that, there was more bickering, but it confirmed two things for me (at least once I figured out what they were even saying).

First, I was supposed to be tricked into entering, and I had definitely been forced to enter instead.

Second, I needed to secure guest rights if at all possible.

“Silence!” the [Queen] shouted. “The knave lies! I hath given guest rights to nay one.”

I raised an eyebrow and put on a face of mock horror. “Surely you did, your majesty! When you gave me such an offer that I could not refuse.” I shot her a sly wink after that.

There was another clamor among the assembled fairies after that. The [Queen] let them go for a while and instead chose to glare at me and stick out her tongue.

When she was done being rude, she clapped her hands. “Beholdeth the hour grows late! Alloweth us to break with this m’re tom’rrow!”

“Tis true,” came the replies. “The hour doth grow late!”

I looked around at the gloomy forest with no sun overhead and couldn’t help but ask myself… How can they even tell?

I was led away by two of the fairies. They were supposedly taking me to lodging fit for a guest of the fey, but I didn’t really see much except hard ground. Well, hard ground and the vines they grew up to bind my hands together.

System: Your arms are bound. Skills and equipment use are restricted.

I made sure to praise them for the “wonderful lodgings” anyway. I wasn’t sure what kind of offense would get my guest rights taken away, but I also didn’t really want to find out.

Then I finally caught one of them spellcasting at me.

What is she doing? I wondered. Whatever it was, it wasn’t having much of an effect. I tried to pretend I didn’t notice, even as she grew visibly more frustrated. I eventually made an educated guess. If it’s time for bed, maybe sleep magic? Which… will never work on me in a million years.

I decided to fake it, and I yawned before curling up on the floor and closing my eyes.

“Tis about time. T tooketh a score attempts ere he succumb’d to catch but a wink!” the fairy muttered. “How sore would the [Queen] be with me if ‘t be true our guest wast not well did rest at which hour we hadst him f’r the feast on the morrow.”

I didn’t catch all of that, but I did get “have him for the feast tomorrow.” A statement I was feeling more and more was about being the main dish and not a guest.

I waited a few minutes after that to make sure they left, and then I opened my eyes and looked around. Seeing that the coast was clear, I figured it was time to make my escape.

“[Summon Dave],” I whispered. The ball of slime appeared on my hands, and I gave it quiet orders to eat through the vines that had me tied up. That taken care of, I picked it up and started walking silently out into the woods.

Okay, just go in a straight line, and I should be good to… My thoughts paused as I rounded a tree and was back in the same clearing that I had just left.

“Frick,” I muttered. I started walking back the way I came, and that somehow managed to loop around too. I tried different directions. I tried walking a bit of the way out into the forest, setting Dave down, and then looking back at him as I went.

Somehow, space itself was warped, and all paths led back to the clearing. I picked up the dave and frowned as I sat down with it on my lap. I could try to [Disrupt] the spatial magic? I shook my head. It’s so loud, though… They’ll be on me in an instant. And I don’t even know if it will work since I’m not sure I can see the source. Which seems to be a requirement.

My debate was rendered moot as I heard yelling back from the clearing.

“Yon gent is missing!” came the cry.

I was going to be found soon, so I decided on a play that would hopefully mitigate the damage.

“No, I’m over here!” I called out. “It was just such a lovely night that I decided to walk my pet.”

The fairies crowded around me, and the [Queen] looked irate. She addressed the one who had attempted to cast sleep magic on me. “I bethought thee hath said he wast asleep.”

“He wast asleep-“ she started.

I interjected. “Yup, I got all of the sleep I need. Thank you very much for your hospitality! I suppose my pet and I should be on our way.”

The [Queen] grinned devilishly. “I may has’t did extend the rights of the guest, but I nev’r claimed thou couldst bring a pet.”

Frick. “Well, sorry, Dave. It looks like you can’t stay.” I turned to the fey. “You may want to cover your ears.” One loud snap later, and the dave was gone.

The assembled fairies freaked out.

“Wast yond beast an illusion!? I couldn’t readeth nary a thought from t, and he hast did vanish t like t wast naught!”

The [Queen] addressed me. “Most intriguing guest, what manner of being wast Dave? And whither didst thou putteth him?”

I decided that was not the time to reveal precisely what [Disrupt] did, so I gave a non-committal shrug. “That is a secret of mine, I’m afraid. I would be happy to tell you if you were willing to tell me… What sort of magic causes these woods to loop back on themselves?” I asked innocently.

“Thee dare asketh the secrets of mine own people in such a manner!?” she shouted. The assembled fairies also booed and jeered at me.

I faked offense. “Only because you asked me the secrets of my people first! The beast and where I put him are known only to my people!” That was technically true if you considered that as the only [Demon Lord] in existence that I was technically the only one of “my people.”

The [Queen] grumbled a bit after that but eventually said, “Very well, alloweth us delay nay longer. Cometh guest, tis time f’r the feast!”

“Oh, I really can’t stay,” I tried to excuse myself. However, despite many protests, I wasn’t able to get away, and I was brought to… A table and chair grown out of a tree.

The [Queen] shooed the rest of the fairies away, and then I had the strangest meal of my life.

She hovered across from me at about head height as I ate multiple different dishes. Attempting to remain a “good guest,” I made sure to eat all of them even though apparently even fey food didn’t have taste when I ate it.

So, I awkwardly choked down each of the delicacies, even as I was about 95% certain they were attempting to poison me.

Status…

Oh.

Make that 100%. I had actually lost some HP since I started the meal. However, it wasn’t much, and I was more worried about being labeled a “bad guest,” so I choked it all down. I even made sure to compliment the dishes and say that they were all “the best thing I had eaten in this world.”

Hey, with everything tasting like ash, that wasn’t even a lie.

That being said, there was actually one dish that I almost enjoyed. It was literally on fire, and I’m sure any normal person eating it may have taken upward of 50 fire damage. For me, [Fire Immunity] just meant that I actually tasted something akin to the kick of spiciness.

I actually asked for seconds of that one, much to the shock of the [Queen].

Speaking of the [Queen], she seemed like a bit of an awkward host. She didn’t eat anything herself, which made me wonder if fairies actually needed food, and she constantly asked me about her “current visage.”

I made sure to keep eye contact with her whenever I was between bites, and since I didn’t know what to say, I simply said something along the lines of her being lovely in appearance.

She seemed even more baffled by that as the feast went on. Then she finally lowered her voice and said seductively, “Then what about this visage? Is’t not pleasing to thine eye?”

I continued looking her in the eye and was still confused. You literally haven’t changed anything, though. I shrugged. “Yes, you are just as radiant as you’ve always been.”

We sat there staring at each other for several seconds, and I was wondering what the heck she was doing.

Then she finally stammered out, “If-if-if ‘t be true thee shall colours me, thither is a matter I might not but address.”

I barely understood that, but since she flew off after, I assumed she was asking to be excused.

I sat there by myself as the fairies whispered off to the side.

Now what?

---

The [Queen] of the fey was mortified.

Her plan had been as simple as it was devious. She would have a feast prepared, and she would eat naught of it herself. Instead, she would pilot an illusion the size of her giant guest and pretend to partake of the same meal that he was. She had done so from the illusion’s head as that was the easiest to do, and she was sure that her spellwork had been flawless.

Why then had it gone so wrong?

She had been assured by one of her subordinates, who had become their [Alchemist], that each of the “delicacies” she fed to him were enough to bring down a mountain troll. The [Queen] thought for sure that she would have been able to revoke his guest rights when he refused to eat, or that in a worst-case scenario, she could claim she didn’t know the “petty diet of non-fey” when he doffed his mortal coil.

She didn’t expect him to remain completely polite throughout and even to ask for seconds!

To make matters worse, not even her secondary plan had born fruit. If her guest was not willing to insult the food, she thought she may be able to make an offense towards herself personally.

Midway through the meal, she had begun shifting through different illusions. Beautiful women to distract. Ugly hags and monstrous beasts to attempt to get him to offer insult. No matter what she did, his replies always remained similar and praised her beauty.

She had one final gambit, though it was a bit… Risque.

Her final illusion had been one matched to him. A beautiful woman who appeared as the same race as the strange mortal, with horns, red eyes, and long dark hair… And had not a shred of cloth on her.

The [Queen] was sure that she could bait a lewd glare out of the mortal with that and that she would finally have the grounds she needed to revoke his guest rights. Or, if he looked away in embarrassment, she could claim offense that way as well.

He kept eye contact. The. Entire. Time.

The nonchalant reply he made was the exact same as for the others, and the [Queen] found herself becoming awkward in the situation.

What art thee mortal? Art thee madeth of stone?

She fled and hid in an illusion that swallowed up all of the light around it as she came to a concerning conclusion. He had finagled his way into guest rights, and nothing he had done was worthy of revoking them.

I has’t nay choice. The laws art clear. He wilt beest given access to the trials.

She breathed a sigh of relief. At least that way, it would be over, and it wasn’t like the mortal had any chance of succeeding… Right?

----

I was a bit confused when eventually 2 other fairies came to get me. I wondered where the [Queen] had gone, but I guess I didn’t need to worry too much.

We gathered back in the clearing, and she appeared in front of all of us.

“Greetings honor’d guest!” she said. “As one befitting the hospitality of the fey, thee shalt beest given the opportunity to undergo the seven trials!”

I gave another bow and had an even harder time not puking since I actually had something in my stomach for the first time in ages. “Thank you, your grace, but I truly must be going…”

She grinned. “If ‘t be true thou art too busy to accept, there is naught we can do for it, is there?”

I didn’t like the look the other fey were giving me after that line, so I sighed. “Very well. What are these trials?”

“They art hath called trials, but art they not games instead?” the [Queen] asked, and the fairies all nodded or made noises of agreement. “If ‘t be true thee defeat us in four ‘r moo of the games thee shalt beest given a wish.”

That definitely sounds like my ticket out of here… “And if I lose to you in four or more of the games?” I asked.

“Then thy guest rights shalt beest revok’d.” As she said that, I watched several of the fey lick their lips and smile with serrated teeth on display.

I tried not to let my panic show as I said, “Very well. What is the first game?”

“We shalt hide, and thee shalt seek,” she replied. “If ‘t be true thee findeth us all ere the hour is up, then t shalt beest thy victory. If ‘t be true not, t shalt beest ours.”

Hide and seek. Okay, easy enough unless they have space shenanigans going on here… I expected them to tell me to close my eyes or something, but they didn’t and simply flew off giggling.

I got to watch most of them fly off and hide… In plain sight.

Are they… Not alright in the head? I eyed them warily. No, it’s likely there’s a trick of some kind.

“Thee can beginneth seeking anon!” came the [Queen’s] shout.

What followed was the easiest game of hide and seek I had ever played. I simply walked up to each of the fairies scattered around and said, “Found you.” For the more stubborn ones, I poked them when they refused to come.

I was worried they would play tricks and try to hide again or something, but they didn’t even do that. They all gathered back in the clearing and jeered and booed me as I searched. All told, the entire trial was over in 15 minutes.

“Thou art far too adept at seeing through our trickery,” I heard one of the fairies mutter.

That was finally enough for me to figure out what was going on.

It’s all illusions! And I can’t see a single one! It was a struggle keeping myself from busting up laughing at that revelation, but I didn’t want to give away my trump card.

The [Queen] flew in front of me with a frown. “That is one victory for you and none for us. Next trial shall be a race.”

“Sure,” I replied. Her flight didn’t look that fast, so I thought I might have a chance. “Where are the start and finish lines?”

She grinned. “I shalt taketh thee to the start line now.”

She pulled out an orb that was small, even against her tiny frame, and then I felt another pull of magic. The next thing I knew, we were standing on a pillar of stone in the void. I also saw a similar post off in the distance.

System: Zone entered, ???. Faction - ???

Dozens of the fey joined us after a few seconds.

“The race is to yond pillar!” the [Queen] shouted. She was already flying to it as she said that.

I looked down the edge of the pillar and saw nothing. I think I better just let this one go.

The fey jeered and booed me as I just stood there and watched their [Queen] fly to the goal.

When she reached it, the [Queen] and the rest of the fairies disappeared and left me behind.

That birch! I seethed.

I looked at the space around me. “Well, if this is a pocket dimension, this entire thing should be magic. Right? [Disrupt]!”

The next thing I knew, I was falling awkwardly to the ground back in the fey forest.

The [Queen] and the other fairies seemed shocked to see me, but she coughed and quickly said, “Yond wast mine own victory, making t one to one.” I just grunted and gestured for her to continue as I regained my feet. “The next trial awaits in hither.” She pulled out another orb from her inventory.

I grudgingly let her pull me into that one as well.

When we arrived, I found myself in a large room with white walls. Water was pouring out of the ceiling into a reservoir made out of trees and other plants.

“Thy goal is to fill the reservoir, while mine is to empty t,” the [Queen] said. “Beest did warn thither is only so much water yond shalt cometh from the above!”

As she said that, she was already off and making the plants open up gaps for water to gush out of.

Ship!

I rushed to the side and tried in vain to hold water in with my hands or with other parts of my body, but I was on the fast track to losing that trial as the jeers and boos also attested to.

That will be two losses. I can’t afford it. I sighed in frustration, and that gave me a thought. I still made a show of attempting to keep water in, but after a few minutes, the water above slowed to a trickle and then stopped. The fey [Queen] also finished it off by having the plants that formed the bottom of the reservoir open up.

She beamed. “The victory is mine! Yond maketh the second!”

“Nay! Tis my win!” I replied and then shook my head to try to clear the Shakespeare out. “The condition was to fill the reservoir, and you have kindly done that for me!”

The gathered fey looked around in confusion and also looked at me like I was an idiot.

I walked up, stuck my head inside one of the holes, and took a deep breath.

“You have filled the reservoir up for me… with air!” I gave the [Queen] a bow. “My thanks for your assistance, your grace.”

The look of consternation that came over her face was almost worth the nausea I got for bowing to her.

She left me inside the pocket dimension in a huff, but I [Disrupted] my way out once again.

“The score is two f’r thee and one f’r us,” she stated flatly. “The next trial shalt beest a contest of riddles. The first to giveth a riddle yond is not did solve shalt winneth. I shalt start.

“I beginneth eternity, and end space,

at the end of time, and in every place,

last in life, second to death,

nev’r high-lone, hath found in thy breath,

did contain by earth, water ‘r flame,

mine own grandeur so most wondrous, wind dare not tame,

not in thy mind, am in thy dreams,

vacant to kings, present to queens,” she finished with a smug grin.

Meanwhile, I had been patiently waiting for her to finish before immediately saying, “The letter E.”

Her grin vanished and was replaced with a scowl. Meanwhile, I just shrugged. I’ve heard it before.

Then it was my turn to come up with a riddle, and I was drawing a blank.

The fey started getting more aggressive with their jeers and boos, and the [Queen] finally stated, “If ‘t be true thee cannot cometh up with a riddle thee shall f’rfeit this trial.”

I went with the only stupid riddle that I could think of. “What gets wetter as it dries?”

“A towel,” the [Queen] replied. “Is yond truly the most wondrous thee can doth?”

I shrugged helplessly as the jeers intensified.

“Mine turn. I has’t a golden headeth. I has’t a golden tail. Yet, I has’t nay body. What am I?”

I couldn’t figure out the answer, and I eventually gave up.

“Tis a coin,” she stated. “Art thee truly yond hopeless in the matter of riddles?” She shook her head. “The count is two f’r both. We shalt beginneth the next trial immediately.”

“What’s this one?” I asked.

“A contest of beauty. Whoev’r displays the most quite quaint visage shalt beest the winner.”

Needless to say, I lost that one by a landslide. With no illusion magic to my name, I basically wasn’t even competing. Not that I would know what the fey would like to see anyway.

“The score is three to two guest. The next trial shalt surely spell our victory!”

“We’ll see about that,” I muttered. I just had to win the next two contests no matter what. And if I lost… The [Queen’s] the biggest threat. [Flash Step] towards her and take her out with a [Fire Strike], be ready to [Disrupt] any spatial magic and hope that they don’t just teleport me somewhere that I can’t survive.

“Art thee eft, guest? The sixth trial is hither,” the [Queen] stated as she held up another orb.

I paused and looked at her for a bit. “What?”

She sighed. “Art thee did prepare?”

Oh. I nodded, and the next thing I knew, I was in the entrance of a maze with large stone walls.

“Thy goal is to exit this maze! But thee can wend ahead and giveth up anon in despair! The maze ahead of thee is truly infinite, and-“

“I’m done!” I cut her off with a shout. She and the other fairies with her looked down at me as I had exited the maze… Out of the entrance.

“Didst thee truly leaveth such a glaring loophole in thy puzzle mine own [Queen]?” one of the fey next to her said with a sigh.

“Silence knave!” was all the [Queen] replied. She was even kind enough to bring me out of the pocket dimension with her that time.

We were once again in the clearing, and this time the fairy [Queen] had a grave look on her face. “The score is three to three, yond means the time f’r the final trial is at hand.”

“Certes not lief [Queen]! Thither is nay way yond t hast cometh to yond!” one of the other fey shouted.

“Forsooth t hast,” the [Queen] replied. “Cometh guest, the final trial awaits,” she said as she pulled out yet another orb from her inventory.

I found myself in a featureless room, with only a giant grandfather clock. It didn’t seem like anything extraordinary, except its second hand was ticking backward.

“So, what’s the final trial?” I asked as I eyed the clock warily.

“Giveth up, guest! F’r only doom awaits at which hour the horologe strikes its end!” she replied, her words punctuated by the incessant tick, tock.

For a second, I was pretty sure I saw genuine fear on her face. There was a brief moment where I actually did contemplate giving up because I didn’t want any part of something that could cause freaking fairies with pocket dimensions to be worried.

However, I would rather take my chances.

“I refuse,” I stated.

The clock continued ticking backward.

“Cometh mortal! Beest reasonable! The terr’r yond awaits is not worth t!” one of the other fey shouted.

“Forsooth, the lady speaks the sooth! Not but horr’r awaits!” came another reply.

The clock had ticked backward about half a minute at that point, and none of the fey were doing their normal jeering.

That was the clue I needed.

I smiled, felt my shoulders relax a bit, and said, “No. I think I’d very much like to see what happens when the clock hits zero.”

“Thou art making a misprision!” the [Queen] said.

I looked at her. “I don’t have a clue what you just said, but no. I don’t think I am.”

The clock continued its backward march as the fey begged and pleaded with me to give up. They offered many things, but I ignored everything they said.

Then, a minute was up. The grandfather clock sounded a loud chime, and the gathered fey all wailed in unison.

With slumped shoulders, the fey [Queen] teleported us out.

“The score is three to four. Tis thy victory,” she said. The gathered fey wailed, jeered, and booed.

“Thither is one thing I might not but knoweth. How mortal?” she asked. “How didst the visions of yond trial not effect thy judgment? How didst thee knoweth yond thee only needeth wait until the countdown did complete to beest victorious?”

“Oh,” I said. “I didn’t realize you had illusions in there too, but I guess that makes sense.”

“Thee didn’t realize?” the [Queen] muttered. Then with a gasp, she flew forward and practically headbutted me. “[Link Sight]!”

After she cast, she backed away, and we both saw through each other’s eyes.

She shivered. “What a drab and bitter cold ordinary this is! How blind art thee mortal!? All thee can see is yond which is thither!”

Meanwhile, I was speechless. I finally got a full view of the fey forest as it was meant to be seen. The fog was gone, and the entire area was full of vibrant colors. Flowers of all kinds, including impossible ones, bloomed everywhere. The houses that I had complained of being utilitarian were decorated in the eclectic tastes of the fey, and above there was even an illusory sun shining down on us all.

“I bethink yond is long enow of a peak from mine own eyes,” the [Queen] finally murmured.

With that, my sight snapped back, and I was again looking at a drab and boring clearing.

“Yond answers many questions but leaves one,” she said. “How didst thee knoweth to wait out the ticking of the horologe?”

I shrugged. “Well, I didn’t have much of a choice. It was either let it tick down and see what came or let my guest rights get revoked for sure. But, the way you all tried to convince me to stop was how I knew I was on the right track.” I grinned. “You would never try to get me to do something good for me, right? Only for yourselves. That’s when I knew for sure.”

She shook her head and glared at the other fey who didn’t meet her gaze. “T wast doom’d from the start due to those chatterboxes.” She coughed and flew upward. Then, addressing us regally, she said, “As a mortal vict’r of the trials of the fey, our guest shalt beest did grant a single wish!”

The gathered fey booed and jeered at me. I ignored them and realized something.

“Your majesty, I have a question.” Then after a moment’s pause, I noticed my blunder and added, “A question that should no way be construed as my wish, but a clarification of what you just said.”

“Receiveth on with t mortal! What is thy question?”

“What is your definition of mortal?”

She raised her eyebrows. “All but the fey taketh the ravages of the ages and art hath brought base. Thus all but the fey art mortal.”

“Huh. Does that mean I count as fey?” I muttered. I hadn’t even meant to say that out loud, but it slipped out.

“What doth thee cullionly by yond mortal?”

Cullionly? I wish I read more Shakespeare… Or maybe I did and just don’t remember. I shook my head and just guessed that she was asking what I meant, so I clarified. “If I also don’t age, does that mean that I’m fey as well by your definition?”

“Stand ho thy joking mortal!” she laughed. “If ‘t be true thee wast immortal wouldn’t we has’t hath heard of thee ere thy arrival?”

I folded my arms defensively. “Hey, it’s not my fault that I just became immortal a year ago!”

That caused quite a stir.

The [Queen] glared, silenced everyone, and then said, “Bringeth the sooth stone! We shalt commence a [Trial]. If ‘t be true he is falsing his crimes shalt beest of offense ‘gainst the fey and his rights as guest shalt beest revok’d.”

“And if I’m telling the truth?” I asked.

She looked pale. “Then the four seasons preserve us.”

Eventually, a fairy flew up and gave me a tiny truth stone. I shrugged and took it.

When she saw I was ready, the [Queen] said, “By mine own power as [Queen] of the fey, in the forest yond is our home, I hereby commence these proceedings. [Trial]!” The tiny stone began glowing, and the [Queen] continued, “Thee standeth accus’d of impersonating the fey, and falsing yond thou art immortal. What doth thee plead?”

“Not guilty,” I replied. “I am, in fact, an immortal by the definition of someone who doesn’t age.” The stone continued shining.

“See! The stone hast ceased its light!” one of the fey shouted. “He is a coystrill!”

I glared at the [Queen]. “Please remove any illusions on the stone before I’m forced to remove them myself.”

I wasn’t entirely sure [Disrupt] would work on an illusion since I couldn’t see it, but I was willing to give it a go if I had to.

It didn’t turn out to be necessary. The [Queen] waved her hand and grumbled as the rest of the fey gasped.

“Yond proves nothing!” another fairy said. “He is a mere lunatic yond believes his own lies!” The other fairies agreed and jeered at me.

How am I supposed to prove that I don’t age? It’s not like my age is written on my shoe or something… I paused. Oh. It kinda is. “I was brought to this world more than a year ago, and the System listed my age as 24. That number has not changed even today!” I waited for the fey to notice the stone was shining before I continued. “Upon my arrival here, I was also given a perk, [Ageless]!”

“Ha!” the [Queen] said. “At last, something we can useth to prove thee a lunatic! [Appraise]!” Her eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her head, and she began shaking. “S-s-see, tis as I hath said! Thither is nothing!”

I was getting pretty sick of all the shenanigans. I walked up to her. “You wanna say that again while holding this?” I held up the stone.

I expected more games. More evasiveness. Or maybe for her to make up some type of rule on the spot. I didn’t expect her to suddenly burst out sobbing.

“Mine own cater-cousins, mine own family!” she called out. “Flee f’r I hath brought calamity upon us! He is nay mortal, but the lord of the fiends, and he hast certes cometh to conquer and taketh our lodging from us!”

Panic broke out, but one voice called above the others. “He is but one, and we art many! We couldst square back ‘gainst him!” one of the fey called.

The [Queen] shook her head sadly. “Nay, but he is thrice protected. A guest of ours, with rights unrevok’d. A fellow immortal, as did prove under oath. A conquer’r of our trials, with wish unspoke. Thither art nay means hath left to us to bring him harm.”

Oh good. We can finally wrap this nonsense up.

“But f’r thee I shall beest darn'd by our laws! I shall correct the misprision I’ve madeth if t costs me everything!” the [Queen] shouted.

Now there’s a point to note about fey spellcasting. Up to this point, it had been incredibly subtle. I could hardly tell anything was being done, even when it was major magic like entering pocket dimensions.

The maelstrom of magic that the [Queen] was forming was anything but subtle. It was actually “loud” enough magically that I could feel it when before I hadn’t even been sure that was a sense I had.

I panicked and did the first thing that came to mind.

I jumped and slapped her.

Quick reminder. I was level 18 with level 5 [Martial Arts] hitting a being that was maybe twice as big as my hand.

The [Queen] went hurtling into a tree and collapsed, unmoving.

“Regicide! He hast murder’d the [Queen]!” the fey shouted. Some called to fight me, others called to flee. However, I had learned how fragile fairies were, and I was done dealing with fey bull spit.

“Oh, shut up!” I snarled.

System: Attempting to activate Wrath Form

I used [Disrupt] right after and attempted to calm down.

System: Cancelling

I took a few deep breaths, and when I was done, I turned to the fey who were watching me in terror. “I like to think I’ve been pretty reasonable. I was a polite guest, even when you tried to poison me to death. I played along with your stupid little rigged games. I even stood [Trial] for something you could have figured out from the beginning if you wanted to!” I took another deep breath. “So, what you’re going to do is you’re going to grant my wish. You’re going to, immediately, [Teleport] me as close to the fire dungeon in the east as you can. Understood?”

“We understandeth,” one of them replied while trembling. “But the [Queen] is the most wondrous at those magics, and the lady lies mortally wound’d.”

I didn’t realize she was still alive. I sighed, walked over to her, and pulled out my potion. “If you attack me again, I’ll use a skill on the next attack. You won’t even know what hit you because you’ll be dead several times over. Got it?”

“I… understandeth,” the [Queen] said weakly.

Satisfied, I dripped a bit of the potion into her mouth.

She recovered and flew up to the other fey. “I-I thank thee f’r thy mercy,” she stammered out.

“Don’t care,” I replied. “Wish. Now.”

“As thee decree,” the [Queen] said.

I once again felt a build-up of magic, and I [Disrupted] it. “What do you think you’re doing?” I growled.

The [Queen] stammered. “[Grand teleport].”

I shook my head. “Nope. I don’t trust you. Use the same [Teleport] you used to get me here and send me as far east as you can.”

“Art thee sure?” she asked.

“Yes! Hurry it up!”

I caught a slight grin as I vanished from the forest and reappeared in the ocean. Or, more specifically, at the bottom of it.

Even at the end, still trying to play tricks, eh? I shook my head and swam upward until I reached the surface. It was a bright sunny day with calm seas.

Well, at least I got one good thing out of that mess.

System: New Achievement. Feyted Encounter. Class Perk Points Gained 5

System: New Achievement. First Feyted Encounter. Class Perk Points Gained 5

I looked back west but didn’t see a sign of the fey island. I wondered briefly if [Teleport] had a longer range than I thought or if the route to the fey forest was a bit more… mystical… than I had initially thought.

Fricking fairies. Who knows how they could have trapped me if I had stayed any longer?

I put those unproductive thoughts aside, turned southeast, and started swimming.

----

[Queen] Primavia, the [Queen] of the fey and first of her name, was relieved. She had sent the interloper to the briny deep. However, she had a nagging feeling and decided it would be best to confirm the intruder’s death.

Fortunately, she had managed to glean the interloper’s name when he allowed her to cast [Appraise] upon him. Otherwise, she would have no way to locate him unless he was on her lands once more.

She prepared the magic and then cast. “[Scry], Titus.”

The magic failed to take hold.

She tried again. “[Scry], Titus.”

It failed once more.

When it failed a third time, she grew worried. When it failed a fourth and a fifth, she had reason to panic.

What havoc may he wreak if 't be true he cometh back f’r vengeance? He who neither charm, n’r illusion, n’r poison, n’r trick can lie base?

She prepared and cast the grand magic to move their entire realm and shuddered.

I can only desire he nev’r return.

[1] Scry – Common fantasy name for a spell that allows you to see things at a distance