In a wide, open field with only one, giant tree on it, surrounded by badly hidden trap holes from all sides, hangs a sleeping beauty with cat ears like a worm on a fishing line. Having been hexed by an evil demon to sleep, she can only wait till a hero arrives to save her from those villains.

"...What do you guys think, perfect isn't it?"

"More like completely obvious and completely under prepared..."

"Well, sorrrrryy princess but I sadly don't have the resources to build an living alligator storage beneath her."

"...Why alligators?"

"...Timmy, tell him why my plan is perfect."

"......We could have at least found some goblins or kobolds and forced them to join our surprise attack my lord."

"No thanks, why would I want some cowardly, opportunistic, scary looking monsters in my party? That just sounds like it’s bound to backfire on us."

...Our protagonist is certainly right on that one.

"...Are you even able to hear yourself talk sometimes?"

"Oh yeah, right, real sorry I understand now...sorry Timmy, please don't take it personally. You have a great personality in my opinion... no homo."

All the homo.

"...I certainly won't you righteousness."

…

...

...

Walking trough a forest, one could see Arthur, once again armed with his trusty sword and beside him his pet dragon Lucifer, and as always dressed in complete black, showing his inner turmoil with his choice of clothing.

"Come, hurry up Lucifer, we have to hurry up if we want to be the first ones to complete this quest. Also we don't have much time left till the demon invasion starts..."

*roar*

He said sorrowfully, once again reminded of the dark times ahead which he experienced in his last life.

"...This time it will be different. This time I have my treasure of a sword, fakecalibur and Lucifer beside me. This time my family won't die. I won't be betrayed. This time...I will become the ruler of this world. I've promised myself that. But for that I have to get stronger, to take these powerfull artifacts no one has found yet in this timeline fro myself..."

Once again, our hero started talking about his entire life story and every of his plans to his pet dragon, while fully well knowing that it is too young to understand or learn the tongue of humans…

"Still, I wonder what this mission is about...in my last life I wasn’t strong enough to take it, but I am sure no mission with a measly D Rank can kill me...still, better be prepared against that demon, no matter how low his rank is…"

...

...

...

...A few hours of bored waiting of the trio and adventuring of the hero later-

"Come out demon, I see you’ve laid a trap, but how about you come out here and we shall duel like men instead of playing around!"

"...Should I go out, my lord?"

"...Nah. Don't get provoked by some kid, by the sounds of him. Man, I at least hoped for some nice exp farming but I guess her dad just didn’t love her enough to come here himself...Timmy, when she wakes up tell her that."

"Gladly, my lord."

"Tell me, demon, is this the best trap you could have set in the time you had? I had expected more than that from someone that isn’t a little brainless child! This is just completely obvious and not at all prepared!"

"See?"

"...Timmy."

"Already on my way lord."

And so our demon met the edgy adventurer at the field-

And so our hero and the vile demon met at the field-

Huh? Wha-

Oh GOD NO, they are... multiplying.

*shiver*

"TIMMY KILL THAT KID BEFORE I GO INSANE"

"What was that dastardly screech? A normal person would have gone mad from it instantly..."

"You don't need to know that, little brat. You are going to die now anyways…"

"Humph, as if I would die against some worthless imp, prepare to get beheaded by me! Lucifer attack him!"

"...Lucifer, come attack already!"

But the little poor dragon already ran away, for the roar of the beast scared it too much.

"NO, how could you betray me too!"

He screamed like a deranged person, the kind that would scream at their poor dog for wanting to go out for a walk because he himself is too much of a lazy fuck to walk him.

"I WILL SHOW YOU ALL WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH ME, LET ME SHOW YOU THE POWER OF SOMEONE FROM THE FUTURE!"

Berserk(D+) activated

Power up(C-) activated

Hey that’s unfair, you are supposed to talk at least for another hour or so till you get to your second form…wait did he just say future-huh?

"...Timmy, what. Are. You. Doing?"

"I am doing nothing my lord, why?"

"Exactly, why are you just standing there while he powers up? Throw a fire ball or something at him."

Said our hero, his ingenious new tactic sure to shock the world.

Said the beast, once again showing it’s cowardliness.

…

…

"That would be quite dishonorable my lord."

"...Really, you? I would have expected such a response from ghost pants here-"

"Fuck you."

"But you?"

"...Even demons have chivalry and honor, that is what separates us from the likes of hell hounds and lava serpents down in hell, even if this honor mostly only stays inside of duels."

"…"

*sigh*

"Now I understand what my boss meant when he said that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself…"

Said he while proceeding to slowly walk behind the adventurers back- like the honourless monstrum he is.

*backstab*

Our hero, stabbed behind his back, like a bitch, could only incredulously stop powering up, helplessly looking behind him…

"...Nothing personal, kiddo-no, no that would be too easy… See you in hel-no, too cliche"

"What in the name of cultivation are you doing now?"

"Well, if I am planning to kill people, I obviously need catch-phrases and stuff when I do it, right?"

Yet while these two evil doers where bickering amongst themselves-

"Hey, what evil have I ever done in my li-...my unlife."

Our dying hero saw the giant dark sloth behind him, looking at the creature with wide eyes and muttered in clear fear-of the thick, throbbing, black, hairy dick at his back:

"I-It..It’s you….the...the opener of... of the hell-gate...th..e…..her.ld…..of t.e….end.

You killed Arthur the returnee, you are now level 8!

…Huh….alrighty I guess...let's just do with it like I've always done with my problems, ignore them."

Hero killer

Not many have ever seen heroes in their life, fewer ever fought with them. The fewest ever managed to kill one. You can count yourself amongst them. Who said Heroes never die...great prestige, but you wouldn’t want to brag about it to everyone you meet.

…

Nick, the worst narrator in in the known multiverse...first things first, fuck you-

Good day to you too, dave.

Secondly, what kind of fucking bad excuse of a "hero" was that suppposed to be?

...At least my Host didn’t die like a bitch…

What did you say?

Nothing, noth-

Oh, I’ll show you nothing you little-

...

...While they are having fun, want to get some coffee?

...Sure, today has been a long day. I could use a pause.

Ha, you’re telling me.