《A guy reincarnated as a sloth and is too lazy to be a protagonist》Battle of wits.
Advertisement
And so, our Hero, caged, faced the enormous barbarian of an orc, equipped with a big ass axe and only wearing a crude leather kilt.
"...Hey there…em, peace?"
But the pleas of our hero fell on deaf ears, the orc immediately slashed at the cage with his axe, breaking it open and…misses.
"Oi, stand still so I can slice you up!"
"But I didn’t even move you bastard!"
Said or hero, while heading for the exit with his “supernatural” speed.
But the Orc noticed and slashed again ...only to miss once again, yet the axe,
now stuck in the ground, blocks the only exit.
Truly, the orc is a master of accuracy.
"SHUT IT, VOICE IN BRAIN, ONCE I EAT SMALL FURRY THING I KILL YOU AND THEN-
Fuck, how the fuck am I supposed to kill a fucking orc in a real, fair fight…
Hey, shitty System, shouldn’t I get an overpowered ability to fight the green fucker as a protagonist?
Only premium member-
Oh, sod off you cunt.
How the hell am I supposed the kill the fucker now, I only have my shitty claws…
And so, the story ends, with our hero being made into orc food…
The End…
"Hey, no, fuck you I’m too handsome to die!"
But what to do against the green shit...
"Wait... I may have an idea."
Said our hero, gazing at the crotch area of the orc, probably trying to whore himself out to the orc, so that he doesn’t get eaten...
What? No, you asshole! He would just kill me after he’s done! I have a way better idea…
And so, for some reason, our hero slowly crawled towards the still raging orc.
-AND THEN I'LL EAT YOUR TINY HEAD, UNLIKE MY HEAD, GLORG'S HEAD BIG, MEANS GLORG BIG BRAIN...
Advertisement
oh, food is crawling to me..I love when food comes to me, come, give good ol’ Glorg a hug…"
Said the orc with his mouth wide open, seemingly wanting to put the Dick, still throbbing
and whole in his mouth, but then, suddenly, as our hero was directly under him,
he stabbed the unprotected no-zone of the orc with his claw and penetrated his cown jewels...ouch.
*Critical Hit*
"Shriek"
And so, the giant of an orc, while falling to the ground, shrieked like a fat teenage girl and
started crying, like the little bitch he is...
"I KILL THE FURRY BASTARD, THEN I SKULL FUCK YOU, MAN IN BRAIN!"
Screamed the little fat girl, throwing a temper tantrum.
Well, I could escape now while he’s occupied...but why let free exp go to waste?
Said our hero, now going to evenly and fairly battle the orc, an epic battle between our honorable Warriors starting…
Yeah...no.
*Critical Hit*
*Critical Hit*
*Critical Hit*
"AAAAAAHHHH, MY LITTLE GREEN, NOOOO, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE GREEN, HAVE MERCY"
...No?
*Critical Hit*
*Critical Hit*
"KILL ME ALREADY IF YOU HAVE THE GUTS YOU-"
*Critical Hit*
And so, it needed the dick to destroy the dick.
"My....little…green..."
By brutalizing and killing the Warrior-Orc "Glorg the Wise", Dick gained 8 levels.
Gained New Title.
Merciless
You invade their lands, burn their villages and kill their family and friends. Some would stop at killing the children.
But unlike some people, you know the how the concept of revenge works. Also, it’s mighty fun to hear the screams of the innocent, ain’t it?
Advertisement
- In Serial8 Chapters
STAR WARS Edge of the Empire: Life & Death on the Rim (Season 1)
Experience the galaxy of STAR WARS in a whole new way.. A Star Wars story told from the perspective of Killik Faz, a young Corellian pilot who grew up just like his hero, Han Solo, now thrust into a life of bounty hunting, choosing sides, and escaping "old friends", as he finds himself part of a mercenary crew. This is an episodic adventure that will take you places you've never been, as well as revisit some familiar places and faces. Strap in, don't touch that lever, and welcome to Life & Death on the Rim... (If you enjoy, please leave a rating, comment, and/or review! #herestothefans)
8 209 - In Serial12 Chapters
A-Zero
Prisoner 145 is a high-risk criminal kept at the world renowned prison complex Militant Base Prison Zexar aka MBPZ. Due to the numerous, horrendous crimes he had committed before arriving at the prison, it was assumed that Prisoner 145 would be sentenced to death. In the meantime, the King of Zeria, suddenly thought of an ingenious plan to expand Zerian territory without incurring the wrath of surrounding countries. This plan just happened to involve sending the most dangerous of criminals into the world. In a wicked twist of fate Prisoner 145 is released back into the world after ten years of solitary confinement as a part of this plan. How will he adapt to a world he has never seen? Who will still remember him? Does he even remember himself after all this time? I'm completely rewriting it. Cause I'm upping the quality. So uh, yeah. UPDATE: As suggested, old chapters (1-19) have been removed from RRL. If you feel like reading it, then visit my wordpress site: https://aspiringnewbie.wordpress.com/ For more information on this change go to my blog post: https://aspiringnewbie.wordpress.com/2016/03/19/welp-im-sorry-but-im-back/ Updates are super slow. Be Warned.
8 149 - In Serial19 Chapters
I've Transmigrated... with a Broken System
[Congratulations! You have completed the quest!] [Rewarding 13x Silver Coins.] [##ERROR##] [1x Melon has been placed in your inventory!] Renard sighed, "Not again..." Updates every two weeks minimum
8 238 - In Serial30 Chapters
Mythological Weapons
In a world where awakeners - human beings who awakened their powers due to the appearance of dungeons hundreds of years ago - fight monsters inside dungeons daily to earn money and increase their ranks, Shiryuu Ackford - a Vicenarian guy - was doing things his own way. In order to discover the truth of a tragedy that happened while he was younger, he went through his journey to find the truth and discover the real history of the world. After receiving a magical weapon in one of his raids and a series of fortunate and unfortunate events, he set his mind on getting stronger and shedding the light on the hidden truth, while struggling between the clash of good and evil.In his adventure to get stronger, find the truth and discern the good and evil, Shiryuu will stumble upon breathtaking mysteries, fight never-seen enemies, and take life-changing decisions. Prepare to set sail on this adventure with Shiryuu and discover for yourselves the real truth behind the lore of the world.
8 98 - In Serial52 Chapters
Not a Genius's Survival Rules
Hello! Do you have any trouble recently? This is a magic novel, as long as you read it, your troubles have 90% chance to solve! No matter you are in any age, you have any trouble, I sincerely invite you to read this novel.I have a biggest wish that girls can get the happiness they want! When life is in trouble, how do we get out of it. I just hope that my experience can bring you some reference and enlightenment. Thank you for watching! This is a story about the campus, the hero through the cultivation of martial arts, save the heroine in the cycle of time and space.
8 304 - In Serial27 Chapters
A Moth's Stories
Pictures have a thousand words.Let us find out for ourselves how many there are. IMAGES DO NOT BELONG TO MEI have recieved permission from the creator, who has allowed me to use their images.
8 98

