《A guy reincarnated as a sloth and is too lazy to be a protagonist》Battle of wits.
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And so, our Hero, caged, faced the enormous barbarian of an orc, equipped with a big ass axe and only wearing a crude leather kilt.
"...Hey there…em, peace?"
But the pleas of our hero fell on deaf ears, the orc immediately slashed at the cage with his axe, breaking it open and…misses.
"Oi, stand still so I can slice you up!"
"But I didn’t even move you bastard!"
Said or hero, while heading for the exit with his “supernatural” speed.
But the Orc noticed and slashed again ...only to miss once again, yet the axe,
now stuck in the ground, blocks the only exit.
Truly, the orc is a master of accuracy.
"SHUT IT, VOICE IN BRAIN, ONCE I EAT SMALL FURRY THING I KILL YOU AND THEN-
Fuck, how the fuck am I supposed to kill a fucking orc in a real, fair fight…
Hey, shitty System, shouldn’t I get an overpowered ability to fight the green fucker as a protagonist?
Only premium member-
Oh, sod off you cunt.
How the hell am I supposed the kill the fucker now, I only have my shitty claws…
And so, the story ends, with our hero being made into orc food…
The End…
"Hey, no, fuck you I’m too handsome to die!"
But what to do against the green shit...
"Wait... I may have an idea."
Said our hero, gazing at the crotch area of the orc, probably trying to whore himself out to the orc, so that he doesn’t get eaten...
What? No, you asshole! He would just kill me after he’s done! I have a way better idea…
And so, for some reason, our hero slowly crawled towards the still raging orc.
-AND THEN I'LL EAT YOUR TINY HEAD, UNLIKE MY HEAD, GLORG'S HEAD BIG, MEANS GLORG BIG BRAIN...
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oh, food is crawling to me..I love when food comes to me, come, give good ol’ Glorg a hug…"
Said the orc with his mouth wide open, seemingly wanting to put the Dick, still throbbing
and whole in his mouth, but then, suddenly, as our hero was directly under him,
he stabbed the unprotected no-zone of the orc with his claw and penetrated his cown jewels...ouch.
*Critical Hit*
"Shriek"
And so, the giant of an orc, while falling to the ground, shrieked like a fat teenage girl and
started crying, like the little bitch he is...
"I KILL THE FURRY BASTARD, THEN I SKULL FUCK YOU, MAN IN BRAIN!"
Screamed the little fat girl, throwing a temper tantrum.
Well, I could escape now while he’s occupied...but why let free exp go to waste?
Said our hero, now going to evenly and fairly battle the orc, an epic battle between our honorable Warriors starting…
Yeah...no.
*Critical Hit*
*Critical Hit*
*Critical Hit*
"AAAAAAHHHH, MY LITTLE GREEN, NOOOO, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE GREEN, HAVE MERCY"
...No?
*Critical Hit*
*Critical Hit*
"KILL ME ALREADY IF YOU HAVE THE GUTS YOU-"
*Critical Hit*
And so, it needed the dick to destroy the dick.
"My....little…green..."
By brutalizing and killing the Warrior-Orc "Glorg the Wise", Dick gained 8 levels.
Gained New Title.
Merciless
You invade their lands, burn their villages and kill their family and friends. Some would stop at killing the children.
But unlike some people, you know the how the concept of revenge works. Also, it’s mighty fun to hear the screams of the innocent, ain’t it?
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