《A guy reincarnated as a sloth and is too lazy to be a protagonist》Battle of wits.
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And so, our Hero, caged, faced the enormous barbarian of an orc, equipped with a big ass axe and only wearing a crude leather kilt.
"...Hey there…em, peace?"
But the pleas of our hero fell on deaf ears, the orc immediately slashed at the cage with his axe, breaking it open and…misses.
"Oi, stand still so I can slice you up!"
"But I didn’t even move you bastard!"
Said or hero, while heading for the exit with his “supernatural” speed.
But the Orc noticed and slashed again ...only to miss once again, yet the axe,
now stuck in the ground, blocks the only exit.
Truly, the orc is a master of accuracy.
"SHUT IT, VOICE IN BRAIN, ONCE I EAT SMALL FURRY THING I KILL YOU AND THEN-
Fuck, how the fuck am I supposed to kill a fucking orc in a real, fair fight…
Hey, shitty System, shouldn’t I get an overpowered ability to fight the green fucker as a protagonist?
Only premium member-
Oh, sod off you cunt.
How the hell am I supposed the kill the fucker now, I only have my shitty claws…
And so, the story ends, with our hero being made into orc food…
The End…
"Hey, no, fuck you I’m too handsome to die!"
But what to do against the green shit...
"Wait... I may have an idea."
Said our hero, gazing at the crotch area of the orc, probably trying to whore himself out to the orc, so that he doesn’t get eaten...
What? No, you asshole! He would just kill me after he’s done! I have a way better idea…
And so, for some reason, our hero slowly crawled towards the still raging orc.
-AND THEN I'LL EAT YOUR TINY HEAD, UNLIKE MY HEAD, GLORG'S HEAD BIG, MEANS GLORG BIG BRAIN...
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oh, food is crawling to me..I love when food comes to me, come, give good ol’ Glorg a hug…"
Said the orc with his mouth wide open, seemingly wanting to put the Dick, still throbbing
and whole in his mouth, but then, suddenly, as our hero was directly under him,
he stabbed the unprotected no-zone of the orc with his claw and penetrated his cown jewels...ouch.
*Critical Hit*
"Shriek"
And so, the giant of an orc, while falling to the ground, shrieked like a fat teenage girl and
started crying, like the little bitch he is...
"I KILL THE FURRY BASTARD, THEN I SKULL FUCK YOU, MAN IN BRAIN!"
Screamed the little fat girl, throwing a temper tantrum.
Well, I could escape now while he’s occupied...but why let free exp go to waste?
Said our hero, now going to evenly and fairly battle the orc, an epic battle between our honorable Warriors starting…
Yeah...no.
*Critical Hit*
*Critical Hit*
*Critical Hit*
"AAAAAAHHHH, MY LITTLE GREEN, NOOOO, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE GREEN, HAVE MERCY"
...No?
*Critical Hit*
*Critical Hit*
"KILL ME ALREADY IF YOU HAVE THE GUTS YOU-"
*Critical Hit*
And so, it needed the dick to destroy the dick.
"My....little…green..."
By brutalizing and killing the Warrior-Orc "Glorg the Wise", Dick gained 8 levels.
Gained New Title.
Merciless
You invade their lands, burn their villages and kill their family and friends. Some would stop at killing the children.
But unlike some people, you know the how the concept of revenge works. Also, it’s mighty fun to hear the screams of the innocent, ain’t it?
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Azran - Magic King of the Darkness(Finished Volume 1/Dropped Volume 2)
A Man who is the embodiment of Darkness, is ripped from our World and thrust into a fantasy world, where he was summoned to defeat forces of the Demon King and all those who are not human. Huh, Did you actually think he was going to accept that position. Yeah right, He is the embodiment of Darkness, like hell he's going to be some stuck up, self-righteous, hypocritical maniac. {Warning-This Story will contain many mature and controversial elements. Such as Slavery - Gore - Torture - and Sexual Content}
8 106Neon Dark: Zero.Hero Book 1
The greatest Heroes have already fallen... Now it’s up to Claire and her ragtag crew of Zeroes to save the city. Low-ranked contractors Claire, Elise, Norah, and Piper dream of making it to the top twenty with the Stewards of Light, but their weird RPG powers have them trapped near the bottom instead. Balancing college, part time jobs, and family matters leave the girls without much time to fight crime and grind out the experience they need to climb the ranks. When a new threat emerges, the gamer girls are left standing in a city turned upside down with no hero to save them. The underclassmen are outclassed, but they're also the only ones who can stop the spread of chaos. Claire and her friends will have to unravel the mess with clever teamwork and determination, and find the top-rank heroes in themselves to save the city before it falls into darkness. From J.D. Astra, author of the Viridian Gate Online: Firebrand series, comes a new universe of heroes and monsters. If you hunger for anime like One Punch Man and My Hero Academia with a healthy serving of RPG elements, Zero.Hero: Neon Dark is for you!
8 189Genesis
Taryn is a mutant in a world where mutants are considered no more than monsters in human skin. The descendants of the gods rule as mortal Kings and the entire world waits for their fates to be decided in the prophesied battle between the Last Lothor King and the mutants’ Dark Prince. But Taryn believes this is all fantasy, born from legends and myth. There are no gods; only mutants who don’t know how to use their abilities, and middlings who are too afraid to even think that they should learn. Taryn is determined to change that.Her plan is a simple one: win the King to her cause and the faiths of the masses will compel them to follow. It should have been an easy enough task; the King doesn’t seem to believe in the prophecies any more than she does. But soon the ambitions of a criminal empire, the plots of warmongering officials and the looming threat of a violent faith movement begin to erode their fragile relationship and derail her plans.Can the two of them reconcile in time to prevent a civil war or will their inability to work together bring about the very thing they’ve fought so hard to avoid?
8 292My Life is a Series of Questionable Choices
Poor. Jobless. Rich. Famous. Was I any of these? Who knows! I can't remember. The first thing I see before I know it, is a thing telling me to reincarnate. But what about my previous life? Was it good? Bad? Please tell me! Eh? What do you mean by 'BTOOOM!'?! ... Let's not think about it. So the new world is like a game? Stats? Titles? Levels? So confusing, but at least I get a gift! Let's see, it should be helpful... Ah I got. To help me along in the new world the only thing I really want is [Advice]. Note: This is a story written purely for fun and is not to be taken super seriously. Humor is geared around what I like, which tends to be from comics and anime. May not be suitable for everyone.
8 183Harry Potter memes
Just a book of memes I found abou Harry Potter!!!! Totally weird and randomm!!!
8 242Oh shoot, I love you! MarinetteXKagami
Kagami ends up going to public school. The same school as Marinette what do ya know. Marinette is now having to deal with the responsibility of a more complex double life along with mixed feelings in her civilian life. What happens when, Kagami and Marinette form a special bond. How will they deal with their confusing everyday life.Note: I do not own anythingI wrote this when I was like 12 and haven't read it in like a year, so apologies if it's absolute shit.
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