Here we see our Hero once again climbing trough the forest, not only avoiding predators, but also finding time to keep training his favorite ability.

"-Could have just drove over some weeb and have a fun adventure, but nooo, why do that when you can kill me, well, you know what you shithead? I will make sure this fucking adventure will suck more ass than your mother, even if I have to die for it! "

Truly, always the diligent one, our hero.

"Shut up, I’m still coming to you after I am done cursing the fucker who brought me here."

"What's making that annoying noise?"

"Oh shit."

Said our hero, always prepared for the unexpected.

"Sounds a bit like dying raccoon."

And you sound like a bitch, but unlike you what can I do about how I sound you-

But then our hero saw what appeared to be a busty young elven girl equipped with a spear and net, most likely to capture some monsters.

No shit Sherlock.

"Oooh, that looks like a new variation of a green sloth."

Yeah I know I’m handsome, but no touching alright?

Said our hero, while starting to climb away backwards with a speed you seldom see him use.

"How cute, it's trying to flee."

Said the elven girl while catching up to him by walking leisurely towards him.

"Curse it, my only weakness, a being able to walk faster than a toddler!"

And then she threw the spear at him.

"AHH, SHIT, SHIT, THAT HURTS SO FUCKING MUCH, WHY THE FUCK ME, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU BITCH!"

But fighting his pain, our hero stood back up and attacked the elven maiden.

"WHAT THE-, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? HOW ABOUT I THROW A FUCKING BARBED SPEAR AT YOU AND YOU FIGHT THE FUCKING FUCK PAIN, OH GOD IT STILL FUCKING HUR-"

And so, our Hero collapsed.

"Huh, neat, didn’t even need to use the net. Must be some weak variation, but whatever, today's my lucky day. I really wanted a new pet since my fox died of old age and the girls are gonna be so jealous of me for having this special one."

Said the maiden, forgetting that the fox was merely a pup and it died because she drowned it while trying to give it a "relaxing" bath.

"No, I’m pretty sure foxy died of old age, but at least I got a nice scarf out of it, even if it is a bit tiny…."

Psychopath…

"Huh, what did you say?"

…

"Oh yeah, I also need to name my new pet now….how aboooouuut... Richard! That’s a nice name ain't it?"

Accept Name as Richard? [Yes/No]

If not selected within 5 minutes, name automatically selected.

5 minutes later...

Name designated as Richa-

Wait, I have an idea.

No.

Wait, wait, it's not against the rules this time, I swear.

No.

Come on, it’s technically the same name.

No!

...

...You know...would be a reeeeal shame if someone "accidentally" told the boss who always steals his donuts in the office…

...

Name designated as Dick.

.....Ha...

....Ha...ha..ha..hahahahahahaHAHAHAHA-

another 5 minutes later...

HAHAhahahaha...ha…….ha….......God, I love my job.