《Our Chaoz; Our Reality (Completed)》Ch 91 - Consequentiality
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Two blue flames, dim and small yet bright compared to the utter darkness that surrounded them. They danced around, left to right, right to left approaching. Getting closer and closer. The fire gave away no heat, no warmth to ease from the darkness, it’s light dim and cold. So cold that the air around it turned to frost, the darkness itself shifting with the frost giving way for the flame.
“Resist as you may…” the voice was like a cold breeze, chilling to the bone “But in the end everything must concede.”
More flame joined the two blazes, a stretched out third blaze below forming a cruel smile “Even you yourself wish to break, only that they do not wish it for you. It is only they that keep you together, it is only they that hold you from falling apart.”
The darkness suddenly parted as the black-blue flames took a larger form, standing on four clawed paws, starting with a long grinning snout full of fangs, two wide maddened eyes and two long pointed ears. Ending in two long furry tails the blue fox stood ablaze, cackling as it stared directly at him.
It’s black-blue eyes taking pleasure from his fear, it’s tongue licking it’s fangs as if tasting it “But slowly you have, slowly you’ve fallen this far…” The creature cackled, the sound as if ice was breaking alongside fire crackling “And lower you shall fall, further you shall break until nothing of you remains.”
The creature moved closer, so close that he could feel the cold emanating from it’s breath “You are so close…So sooo close…Why not let go?...Just once more, once more and it will all be over.” It opened it’s jaws revealing it’s jagged black set of fangs “All your suffering…Every regret…All your losses…Every mistake…All gone…Just come…CLOSER”
Kyle woke up with a start, gasping for air as he had held his breath even as he dreamt. His entire body trembled as cold sweat covered him, his eyes lay wide open and fully focused on the ceiling as the sudden fear slowly waned. The image of those long jagged fangs closing in around him the last thing he could remember before waking up.
Kyle waited as his heartrate slowed, having become somewhat calm he tried to sit up but found that something was weighing him down. He blinked the blurriness from his eyes and glanced around from where he lay, holding onto his left arm and laying her head on his chest was a woman.
Her face was covered by long black hair but he already knew who it was, raising his free right hand he noticed that his claws had come out. He stared at his claws (“This is why…”) he thought as he felt his chest tighten, he released his claws returning them to fingers.
Kyle carefully he pulled her hair aside revealing Karnage’s face, asleep her expression was calm and serene. She had pushed his arm aside and rested her head over his chest, pressed against him was most of her body. Yet instead of feeling self-conscious of the moment Kyle only felt more hollow, as he carefully tried to pull himself away in her sleep she clung on tighter as he rose.
Kyle half smiled at her reaction, but his smile was soured as over her he saw, claw marks over shredded sheets where his other hand once lay. Again he carefully rose, pulled his arm from under her sleeping form and laid her back.
He stood up from the bed and as he fixed his clothes he glanced back, not her sleeping form but at the shredded sheets “Until nothing remains…” he whispered to himself as a sickening feeling suddenly overtook him.
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Kyle stumbled over to the wall where he grasped at it, holding himself up as nausea filled his head. Stopping himself short of puking he breathed in, a long drawn out breath. Just as it came the nausea disappeared, leaving a disgusted feeling behind as he regained his composure.
“So you’re just going to walk away huh?...” as Karnage suddenly spoke he glanced back, she still lay sitting on the bed but was giving him her back.
(“She didn’t notice…”) he thought, leaving the questions of what he had just felt for later he responded “I never asked you to cling me as I sleep.” his tone was annoyed but his expression showed otherwise as he looked away with longing eyes.
Karnage chuckled “You never asked me to come either, you never asked me follow you yet follow I did.”
“Why?” Kyle asked as he clenched his fists and grinded his teeth, a polar opposite of his tone as it retained it’s annoyance “I’ve been nothing but a villain, what do you even see in me?”
“What I see…” She chuckled again “Gods, magic, demons and monsters are real. We stood in another world, being played like pieces on a board, used for someone else’s plans, faced with beings beyond our comprehension. I was terrified, scared witless and all I wanted to do was run and hide. Then there you were standing in the very centre, insulting a being that had just declared itself as God. That was the first time I noticed you, honestly I thought you were mad.”
Karnage sighed as she leaned back and laid herself on the bed “Back then I was nothing, not a leader, not a commander like Zaahr. I was just the front girl, the mascot of the guild. I could do whatever I wanted, it really didn’t matter since Zaahr was the real guild master. If only that girl wasn’t so damn shy, I wouldn’t have even been the mascot.”
She took a deep breath, holding it in briefly before letting it back out “So I came with, I followed you and your crazy friends because your group intrigued me. But mostly I watched you and over time I began to notice how you acted. It was as if you wore a mask, one that you rarely took off. When you faced Lilliana was the first time…The second time you took that mask off was when you spoke to Jekyll and Helen, I could only hold my breath as you laid it out on them both!”
Her tone grew excited as she continued to speak “How you perceived the moment, how you turned it all around. It was amazing, like something out of a movie. I couldn’t help but ask myself ‘Is that the same person?’. At that time I didn’t know, I wasn’t aware of it. That is until it was my turn…what you told me that night…To find my own way…”
Karnage stood up and turned around, seeing him frozen by the door, his shoulders slumped down and arms laying limp, he faced the door unmoving and without saying a word “You opened my eyes Kyle, that not everything is black and white. You made me see what there is in between, what I couldn’t see before.”
“You didn’t hold my hand, you just laid it bare and let me choose. That is what I see in you, you don’t beat around the bush, you aren’t in it for the glory, you aren’t in it for the gain. You did all that because you enjoyed it, because you truly loved spinning the story yourself.” She stepped closer “I only got to see it once, your real face. Now it doesn’t matter how long you keep that mask on, I’ll wait till you finally take it off again.”
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Now standing behind him she placed her right palm over his back “You can be as cruel as you want, be the villain for as long as you need. I know it’s not you, the monster isn’t you.”
Kyle suddenly flinched, his tails and shoulders shuddered as his eyes opened wide “But what if I become?...What if I snap!?” he slammed both fists onto the door “What if I cannot be saved?! What if I become the monster!?” he trembled with anger trying his best to hold it in “On anybody…I wouldn’t wish what I’ve gone through!” Frostfire then emerged from the tips of his ears and tails, his claws and fangs grew out as his eyes began to shine a dim blue.
Karnage leaned in closer and wrapped her arms around him, laying herself over his back but stayed silent as he let it all out “But then when I-…when I think of it…of that thing…of what it did to me…I feel like I want to snap…I want to be angry! I want to fucking lose my mind!” he leaned forward pressing his forehead onto the door as tears rushed out wetting his face and chin “But I can’t…I know I can’t…But I can’t stop myself from wondering…I even dream about it…”
Kyle fists began to push into the door, the crystal showing signs of cracking “I…I d-dream of it…of what…I could become. A beast that only cares for torture…A monster that finds pleasure in other’s despair…” he remembered the nightmare he had only moments before, the blue-flamed eyes that watched him hungrily.
He leaned away from the door, unwrapped her arms from around himself and turned around. Kyle stared at her briefly as she stared back, a weak smile on her face as her eyes met his. His hands shook as he let go of hers, he stepped back fully backing up into the door as he realised what that sickening feeling earlier was.
He was dreaming of it, he was being enticed by it, he had almost reached out to it. Cold wrapped itself on Kyle’s insides as he shut off all emotion, the fear, the pain, the anger and frustration all froze within. His expression changed, the tears stopped as his eyes steadied, turning cold and blank.
Kyle did so as he couldn’t possibly say the words he was about to say without, as he had just realised that when he reached out to the monster within, she was laying right next to him. She would have been his first victim.
As his cold distant eyes met her now confused expression he spoke solemnly “I cannot be with you, I cannot be with anyone.” (“All it takes is one moment, one short moment of weakness and I’ll snap.”) he thought briefly “Stay away from me, stay far-”
“Idiot” Karnage suddenly cut him off as she leaned up to him and grabbed the front of his coat with both hands, pulling him closer she leaned in and their lips met in the middle. When he flinched out of emotional coldness she held him in place, not allowing him to back away from her passionate kiss.
Kyle couldn’t get himself out of her lock, he didn’t even want to. So instead he took the lead, grabbing her by the waist he pulled her closer and dived in suddenly making her mildly yelp from the surprise but she didn’t let go either.
His left hand found it’s place holding her closer but his right moved up, tracing the back of her body with his palm it slowly came to a stop on her left cheek. They remained like that for what felt like an eternity, leaned into the cracked door as she pressed closer to him and he pulled her further.
But to an end it came as she slowly pulled her face away from his, only to rest her head on his right shoulder while she whispered into his ear “Durin can wait…a bit longer don’t you think?...”
Kyle shuddered a little as he sensed the mischievousness in her tone and hunger in her Spirit.
Agony like he had never felt before, as if a chemical flame had been ignited inside him, as if an iron maiden had been closed onto him, as if he was being pulled and stretched out from every limb until he began to break apart, as if his very blood was melting him from inside out. All at the same time and more.
This is what Sly felt when he woke, the pain that filled him was so overpowering that he couldn’t even scream, he could barely even breathe. Quickly his senses were overwhelmed, his mind shutting them down to retain his sanity. He immediately passed out.
Yet this didn’t stop the curse, the pain continued on even through his forced sleep. Like the cruellest of nightmares he lay in complete darkness trying to wriggle around, trying to scream, trying to do anything to stop the pain but he couldn’t even move.
Sly couldn’t feel a single part of his body anymore, not his arms or legs, not his chest or even face. All he felt was pain, torment that threatened to break his mind. The pain was all there was, the pain was the only sense coming through, the pain was his entire world.
Suffering became his reality.
Then his reality stopped.
The pain suddenly vanished yet he still couldn’t feel his body, he couldn’t move or speak. Sly couldn’t see and couldn’t hear, he couldn’t even feel a single thing. At most all he could do was think, awareness of his own mind was all he had.
“I truly hope that I have interrupted your torment quickly enough, is your sanity still whole boy?” asked a detached voice, it’s tone solemn and sound impossible to describe. Sly could hear the words, he could understand them but the sound that carried them made no sense to him.
“Who…” he found out that when he thought a word, he spoke it “Who are you?”
“Who I am is of no importance to this moment in existence, what matters is instead what I am and what I can do for you.”
“What…are you?” Sly asked tentatively.
“I am everything, young one. I am the soil you step on, the air you breathe, the very food you eat and everything else.” The voice explained with a humoured tone “I am the people you know, the people you don’t. I am even you.”
Sly’s mind blanked out, he had no clue as to what the hell it was talking about.
The voice chuckled “But for this occasion let us just say that I am a who, what people of your time call the Avatar of creation.”
Sly’s mind skipped a thought and a few more after that, befuddled at what was transpiring as he lay in between existence and not “The Avatar…? The God of Gods? The creator of all?...”.
“Hm…Well I wouldn’t quiet put it like so. I am not anybody yet I am everybody, I am indeed creation but not a singular entity. I am simply existence given sentience. I have the ability to make anything happen within reality but at the cost of stopping something else from happening entirely. Even speaking with you right now is stopping a world from being born.”
“Oh…Just how high am I at the moment?...” Sly then asked not entirely serious.
“Well if it makes it easier for you to comprehend, yes you are completely baked.” The voice responded entirely serious.
“I…ah…well then.” Was all Sly could respond with.
“Any other questions so we may move on? A world is dying as we speak after all.” Pointed out the voice.
“Move on…” answered Sly.
“And move on we shall. I am sure you comprehend the current core happenings of your reality, a powerful mage and his associates have associated themselves with a very powerful creature. So much so that I am required to actually act and supress it’s power which has only happened once before, the war between Gods.” the voice moved on to explaining.
“This creature, known as a Nogitsune and specifically as Void, has absorbed a part of me. As a being that powers itself through absorbing others it used that power to absorb the entire realm it once inhabited, becoming that realm itself. Albeit that hefty meal it hungers for more, it hungers to devour me whole.”
“So why not…like…make it disappear?...” Sly cut in.
“Reality doesn’t work that way. As I had just explained any action I take as a sentient part of existence will in exchange utterly halt another action within existence. Stopping the war between Gods and sealing their power, the exchange for that was half of existence disappearing. Imagine that, half of everything that is, gone over night to stop a silly squabble between immature children.”
“Oh…Oh.”
“Unlike a God, which is in a sense a singular sentient entity, Void is now a plural. It has become a realm, a part of existence but not. As I am reality, it has become another. One reality cannot affect another without heavy consequences.”
“Let’s just say I understood everything you just said…Why are you telling me this?” Sly then asked, trying to get to the point.
“I am telling you, specifically you, because you have become inconsequential to reality.” The voice explained.
“I what now?...” Sly asked slightly more confused.
“You have done your part, you have made your actions, you will spend the rest of what remains of your life as a living being in agony till you die. You will go to the Abyss, where further torture awaits you, where you will forget everything about your current self before being reborn.” It then fully explained.
“Okay first, that’s fucked up…and second what the fuck is up with the abyss anyway?!” exclaimed Sly.
“I could explain the very reason behind your race’s curse, the betrayal your race has made to life itself. I could show you every single atrocity your race has made, every flayed soul, every condemned good.” It’s tone suddenly grew harrowing before returning to being solemn “Or we could save time and simply say you’ve deserved every little bit of it. And it is also there to keep you under control, a price to pay for the power you possess. For what you are.”
“Uhh…fair enough?...” He wasn’t entirely sure how to argue with that response.
“Indeed but anyhow, do you understand your position at the moment? You have no more actions on the board to make, you are inconsequential to the events that are about to take place. You are a free player, so much so that affecting you cost me little compared to affecting another. Aiding your friend during his time of torment costed me much more, but I was willing to as to test his usefulness.”
“Kyle? Great that definitely makes me feel important…So what’s your point? I’m fucked, so what’s it to you?” Sly asked with a depressed tone.
“I can give you actions to make on the board, I can allow you to be consequential again.”
“You can heal me?...Will you heal me?” he asked before quickly changing his question thinking that of course it could, rather it was a question of whether it actually would.
“No countering your curse would make you too consequential, it makes you a permanent player again which would take much more than I am willing to sacrifice on you.”
“Neat…” groaned Sly in annoyance.
“What I can do is give you a chance at being consequential again, I can lessen the pain and allow you to move around while you still have time. What you do with that time is up to you. Your comrades already have found a way to heal you but they are unfortunately short on time, they will not make it. You taking part in their efforts may or may not give them the chance they need, so in essence you could end up healing yourself.”
Sly remained quiet for some time, letting that sink in before asking “What do you gain from this?”
“I increase my chances of survival.”
“At the same time I increase my own huh?...” said Sly resigning himself “Alright, I’ll take your damn bet.”
The voice chuckled “Do not let me down.”
If Sly could snort he would “Or what? Will you curse me? Condemn me to a lifetime of torture?”
“Hhmm…Fair point. On another note, you won’t remember this conversation.”
“Well…fuck…” was the last thing Sly said before he found himself gasping for air and wide awake.
“How…” asked Liliana as she stood over him, tracing her hand over his bare chest with white mana enveloping it.
“I…Ooohhhh I feel like shit…” said Sly as he closed his eyes back up, the pain having severely lessened but was still very much present “Fuck…you got any painkillers around here?...Pain removal spells? Anything?” he asked before groaning in pain and turning over, finding that he was laying on some sort of very thick cloth.
“We’ve already tried everything…” spoke Reyna from somewhere further away.
“Well…fuck.”
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