“Prepare for trouble!”

“And make it double!”

Two voices sang out from the forest as suddenly a Weezing burst out a smoke screen, blinding Ashley and Pittata.

“To protect the world from devastation!” A voice said from creepily nearby to Pittata, both he and Ashley freezing on the spot as a gun appeared out of the smoke, aimed directly at Ashley’s head. Long bright purple hair sparkling as it flowed, followed by crimson eyes, the woman wore a cropped white shirt with long black sleeves and gloves, a white skirt and long black tights with just as black boots.

“To unite all peoples within our nation!” Then spoke out the male voice, as the smoke screen dissipated, revealing him to be reloading a rocket launcher. Medium cut bright blue hair and green eyes, the man wore a similarly cropped white shirt with black gloves, a black undershirt, white pants and black shoes.

Both had a large light red R on their chests.

“To denounce the evils of truth and love!”

While Ashley froze from terror, Pittata cringed.

“To extend our reach to the stars above!”

Until his mind caught up with the reality of the matter.

“Jessie!” Jessie was holding a gun.

“James!” James was holding a rocket launcher.

These two things snapped him out of his cringe, these two weren’t fucking around.

And as an Arbok appeared out of Jessie’s free hand, coming to entangled itself around Ashley who fell to the ground unable to move.

James was done reloading, taking aim at Ashley’s house once more.

“No!” Ashley exclaimed, as all briefly glimpsed the sight of Professor Oak putting his pants back on. “Prof…essor?”

“Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!” Jessie exclaimed, and James pulled the trigger.

The rocket was quick to reach the building, blowing off the top this time around and collapsing it entirely.

“Surrender now, or prepare to fight!” James warned, as out of nowhere appeared a Meowth.

“Meowth! That’s right!” Meowth said, extending long sharp claws to Pittata’s throat as he recuperated from falling off Ashley’s shoulder.

“Hohohohoho~” Jessie laughed, “Such an old fool! Finally we found where you keep all those pokemon your trainers catch!”

“Haha! Indeed!” James also chuckled, turning to the Laboratory, “It took a fair bit of planning but, nothing can stand in our way now!”

“Hell yeah! All those already trained pokemon just waiting to be snatched away!” Meowth exclaimed. “Imagine the boss’s face when we come back with an army!”

“All for that…” Ashley mused as she lay on the ground, “You killed…You killed!” Rage filled her eyes as she trembled.

“Of course, we killed that oaf of a professor, for the good of and only of Team Rocket!” Meowth said with a chuckle, “What’s it to you? That old fart was banging your mother whenever he got the chance behind your back.”

“Kekeke, bet he was just at it right then too!” Jessie added with a chuckle.

“Uhh, guys, doesn’t that mean we blew her mother up too?” James then asked.

“Eh probably.” Jessie agreed.

“Heh guess it does have something to do-” Meowth began to say but was cut off as Ashley suddenly began to scream and shout.

Struggling against the Arbok, her voice painfully filled their ears.

“Ah! Shut up already!” Jessie exclaimed, pointing her gun down at Ashley.

The screaming suddenly stopped then, as Ashley’s body went still.

“She…passed out?” James mused.

“Phewy, good damn thing she did! She was about to blow my ear drums out!” Meowth grumbled, “What should we do with her?”

“Not wasting a bullet on this brat I’ll let you know,” Jessie added, “But we don’t want any witnesses.”

“Haha! I’ll take care of them then!” Meowth said, glancing down at his claws, his eyes then narrowed. “Wait, the hell? Where’d the twerp go!?”

“You were supposed to be watching it!“ Jessie exclaimed.

“Can it bitch! It was right here!” Meowth shouted back.

“Ah, you see, that’s where you fucked up.” Spoke a voice from behind them, and the three turned away from the lab to find it.

Claws, gun and rocket aimed, they were faced with a very strange Pichu.

“Meowth…d-did that thing just talk?” Jessie asked.

“Do you have cousins we don’t know of?” James asked.

“DO ME AND THAT THING LOOK RELATED!?” Meowth spat back.

“You know, I didn’t watch too much of the anime, but I do remember a few things.” Pitatta mused as it rose onto its hind legs. “You guys are a constant pain in the ass, so, perfect timing.” A wide fanged grin grew on his face. “I’ll get rid of you now that I have a chance, with as you just said, zero witnesses.”

“Twerp talks big!” Meowth snarled.

“Hah, guess you are worth wasting a bullet on!” Jessie then mused, suddenly pulling her trigger.

Quickly Pitatta’s form changed as he dropped his transformation, returning to his green Ditto form.

The bullet shot right through him, exiting on the other side with ease before impaling itself into the ground.

A hole was clearly visible on the green Ditto where it hit, but slowly as they watched the hole began to close back up.

“I knew it, you guys don’t usually use guns because they are ineffective against too many pokemon.” Ditto mused, “Me included.”

“S-S-Shut up!” James exclaimed in a panic, readied up with a new rocket, he took aim.

“Shit James no-”

“This is gonna hurt!-”

James fired, and within a matter of moments the rocket hit the ground where Ditto stood, about twenty feet away.

Blowing Meowth, Jessie, James and their pokemon off their feet…hovering bodies? They were sent flying back into the Lab’s wall.

Once the smoke cleared, Team Rocket pulled themselves together, facing where Ditto once stood.

A small crater now lay before them, and not a single bit of green sludge was in sight.

“Hah-Cough-Haha! So much for the big talk!” James exclaimed, his face now tanned and his hair and cloths singed alongside everyone else.

As both Jessie and Meowth grabbed him by the collar, glaring murder into him.

“You could have killed us you dimwit!” Jessie shouted into his ear.

“Think before you shoot! Think! T.H.I…Think!” Meowth also screamed angrily.

“N.K.” James then said, “It’s T.h.i.n.k.”

“Oh thanks mat-THAT DOESN’T MATTER YOU DIPSHIT!” Meowth snapped, scratching the shit outta James’ face before turning to stomp towards the lab.

“Heyy! At least I got it!” James added, tearing up as he held his now ruined face.

“Not, quite.” Then spoke out a familiar voice from above, and all of them looked up.

Looming over them from the Lab’s roof, was a massive purple serpent. Half Arbok and half Gyarados, Ardos growled as its pitch-black eyes settled on them, narrowing murderously.

“Oh no…” Jessie sighed.

“Dark!” A black aura rose up to surround Ardos.

“This is gonna hurt much worse isn’t it?” James mused.

“Rage!” As its eyes went bright violet.

“Not so fast!” Meowth then exclaimed, suddenly putting his claws to Ashley’s throat. “One more move and I’ll gut your friend!”

Ardos growled, “And what makes you think that will stop me?”

“I’m still standing here, aren’t I?” Meowth then said with a smirk.

Dammit, I can’t, she hasn’t done anything wrong…Gah.

The dark aura dissipated from around Ardos then, but his eyes remained a fearsome violet. “Speak your terms.”

“Easy, we’ll let her live, if you turn yourself in!” Meowth exclaimed, nudging Jessie’s leg.

“What? Oh, oh right!” Realizing what he was up to, Jessie took out an empty pokeball. “Go pokeball!” She shouted, preparing to throw when…

“Nope.” Ardos said as his irises shrunk, suddenly turning about he slithered off the building. “Fuck all that! I'm yiggitying the fuck outta here!” He exclaimed, rushing off into the river and disappearing from sight.

“Huh, didn’t expect…that.” Meowth mused.

When an eerie aura dawned upon them all.

Meowth looked down, and Ashley was no longer within Arbok’s hold.

“Something is behind us…isn’t it?” James whined in defeat.

“Hah, jolly good show getting the jump on me lads.” Professor Oak said, coming out from under the rubble as a Kadabra dropped the rocks it had psychically raised. “But robbing me, isn’t going to be that easy. I am the guardian of all of Kanto champion’s pokemon after all!” Oak laughed, as Team Rocket turned around further.

Finding themselves faced with what terrified Ardos into running off.

“Do I destroy them, master’s sensei?” Mew Two asked as he gently lowered Ashley to the ground.

Team Rocket went ghostly pale.

“Yes yes, take out the trash please.” Oak said.

Mew Two huffed in acknowledgement, as it put its two hands together. “Shadow Ball.”

A sphere of the darkest black formed in between its palms.

“I really don’t know what you were thinking, I mean, who do you think the strongest trainers to come out from here left their legendary pokemon with?” Oak then mused, chuckling wildly as behind him Kadabra helped a woman out.

“Begone.” Mew Two exclaimed, blasting forth its attack.

Landing a direct hit on Weezing as it rose to shield its masters, the pokemon flew back into the ground and bounced off into them all.

Sending Team Rocket…

“Looks like Team Rocket is blasting off again!” Each of them exclaimed in surprise, as they disappeared into the sky.

Nothing but a shine remaining where they once could be seen.

“They got away.” Mew Two growled.

“No matter, they won’t come back after that.” Oak said, glancing off then to the river. “That pokemon…I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“I sensed a connection with it.” Mew Two added.

“Oh Oak! That was terrifying!” The half-naked woman exclaimed, grabbing hold of Oak’s arm and pressing her voluptuous breasts to it.

Oak suddenly pushed her off, a gleam in his eyes as he stared into the river. “Begone hoe! Adventure calls my name and discovery awaits for no milf! But worry not, my onyx shall return to you shortly!” He exclaimed.

Mew Two simply face-palmed and sighed.