“Alright! Alright! Everyone just…just slow down, jesus christ slow the fuck down!” Magichoke shouted as the Magikarps barraged him with impossible requests.

Suddenly snapping, he stomped his right foot down, making a cloud of sand rise all around him.

The Magikarps went quiet.

“I did not make the old man fly, I cannot give you any power, and I am not a god.” He announced, then thinking of undoing his transformation, a flash of light briefly blinded the Magikarps as right after a green Ditto stood before them.

“I’m just a freaky Ditto.” He told them, and a wave of disappointment surged from the school of fish.

“So…you’re not even one of us?” Asked on karp.

“No…Sorry?” Ditto mused awkwardly.

“Well, back to helplessly swimming about guys.” Said another, as all sighed and turned to leave.

“I’m sorry guys…Really, but there’s nothing I can do.” Ditto apologised.

“Right, they all say that.” Grumbled a third, splashing water onto Ditto as it swam off.

“Well you don’t need to be dicks about it!” Ditto then spat back.

“Hah, what do you know?” Then said one Magikarp standing out from the rest, its yellow scales sticking out from the red group of fish. But not just that, while some of the Magikarps did have some, this one was riddled with scars and gashes.

“Nothing, that’s what.” Said Shiny angrily, “Really, who do you think you are, do you even know what we have to go through each and every single day? Do you have any clue what our existence is like?”

“Uhh, eventless?” Ditto guessed.

A vein visibly popped on Shiny’s face, but he just sighed. “You’re new around here, aren’t you? Come, follow me poor wishful thinking child.”

“Uhh, sure goldie.” Ditto mused, rolling into the water, Goldie suddenly picked him up onto his scaly back.

“Let me show you, the life of a Magikarp.” Goldie said as he led him off down the shallows, his large eyes scanning their entire surroundings with great nervousness. “This is a world where one must be vigilant, for threats stalk in every shadow. Every bush, pebble, even shadows themselves. Enemies. Lay. Everywhere.”

Oh boy, I found the village nutcase.

Goldie swam for several moments, coming to a turn on the beach, he entered into a river and swam upstream for several more.

Coming to a stop as a familiar sight came to both swimmer and passenger.

Four trainers stood at the river-side, rods held steady as they fished into the stream.

“Why are we here?” Ditto asked.

“Shh! Shut it and watch.” Goldie snapped back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GScHgShtZvs

And watch they did, as the trainers and their pokemon lay relaxed.

When suddenly one rod’s line pulled.

“Dheren! Your line!” One shouted and Dheren jumped, grasping his fishing rod tightly he began to pull in the line.

“Oohh, this ain’t no old boot!” Dheren exclaimed, as the water where his line sank into splashed and thrashed.

“A glorious moment for anybody else of my people.” Goldie whispered as they watched Dheren reel in his tired out catch.

“What is it?” Asked one trainer.

“I see something!” Exclaimed another.

“It’s…” Dheren began to say excitedly as a red-scaled silhouette leapt out of the water. “A Magikarp…” He dejectedly finished his sentence.

“Ugh, another one?” Grumbled the last trainer, as Ditto then noticed the fish bone he was using as a toothpick.

The campfire nearby.

And the pile of eaten Magikarp corpses next to it.

“Oh god.” Ditto mused at the sight.

“Yes! Catch me! Please! Let us go on a grand adventure master!” The caught Magikarp exclaimed as Dheren sighed whilst staring wearily at it.

“But they never believe me when I say,” Goldie continued on, “That nobody can be assed to even put us in their PC Box 2. Much less train us. Much less catch us.”

Dheren took the hook out of the Magikarp’s mouth then, holding it by the tail he grumbled whilst raising it up. “Anybody still hungry?” He asked.

“Nahh niggy, I’m fuller than a Gyarados in a Magikarp lake.” One sighed in satisfaction.

“Yeah, my pooch is fine too, and Tom ate most of them so.” Added another, petting his Poochyena as it munched on a Magikarp skull.

“Eh, ya could catch it.” Suggested Tom with a wide smirk.

“Hah! Yeah, I’ll give it to my grandma, she’ll have just as a chance at fighting the first gym as I would with it!” Dheren burst out laughing, suddenly dropping the pokemon onto the ground before kicking it back into the water.

A stream of tears trailed behind the poor pokemon as it crashed back into the shallow water. “I swear there’s not a single Goldeen, Tentacool or Poliwag in this damn stream.” Dheren groaned, throwing his fishing rod aside.

“That, is the life of a Magikarp.” Goldie then added as he turned them away from the trainers, “Swim, get eaten. Swim, get fished out, then eaten. Swim, get fished out, get kicked out. Eventless is one way to put it, but pitiful is my word of choice. We’re catched so little that there’s more Magikarps than any other pokemon in the entirety of Kanto.”

Goldie glanced back at Ditto, seeing as the strange creature still lay staring off at the trainers. “You heard any of that slimy?”

“Yeah, I don’t like it.” Ditto replied.

“No shit, who would when seen from our perspective. But that’s just life, isn’t it?” Goldie grumbled, glancing away from Ditto and at the poor Magikarp recovering from the event. Glancing back at Ditto…

There was no Ditto.

…

Ditto was gone from his back.

“Char! Char!” A sound bellowed out from the skies above then.

“Holy shit! A Charizard!” Tom exclaimed from the group of trainers as each of their gazes rose to the sky.

“Bah, there’s someone on it, no can do.” Another trainer added with a groan.

“Fuck man, why you always such a buzzkill Jason?” Dheren then said, spitting into the water angrily.

“Oh, you want a Charizard now?” A voice then hissed from behind them all.

As a bright light burst out, each trainer and their Poochyena turned to face it.

Standing five feet tall with wings going as high up as seven, the grey-furred draconic monster loomed a shadow over them all.

A black flame lingering about its sharp-fanged and snarling maw.

“W-Wha-What the fuck are you!?” Jason exclaimed, falling off his deckchair and quickly rolling into standing. “Pooch get’em! Bite!” He yelled at his pupper who growled and barked at the beast.

Rushing forth, the Poochyena leaped at the monster, opening its fangs wide.

A crunching sound was then followed by tearing flesh and crushed bones.

Jason puked out his entire stomach at the sight of his Poochyena falling to the ground before the monster, shred into two parts.

“T-The fuck do you want!?” Dheren exclaimed, grabbing hold of his fishing rod, he trembled from head to toe.

The Mightyrizard growled, “I want…I want!” its eyes shone a murderous red. “I want to be the very best.”

A black blaze began to swirl about its fangs as it spoke.

“Like you, will never be.” Humming the rest until, “It’s you and me.”

Opening its mouth wide, Mightyrizard bellowed pitch black flames upon them all.

Humming some more as the trainers screamed and burned, agony filling their voices and melting faces.

“That’ll teach you.” He said, two bursts of brief flame shooting out of his nostrils as the stress left his body.

“Arceus save us…what have you done?” Goldie exclaimed, rushing to the river-side where Mightyrizard lay, watching the trainers each fall dead and burnt to a crisp.

“In a world we must defend, our courage will pull us through.” Mightyrizard mused.

“Yo ma boyz, how goes the fishing, got ya’all some soda to-” A voice then announced as a fifth trainer walked out from the forest to their left.

Freezing in place at the sight, the boy immediately dropped the large bottle of soda.

Eyes going wide, skin pale and pants wetting with piss.

He shook, his entire body trembled as the blood left his face.

As Mightyrizard’s crimson eyes met his shaky gaze.

“What…the bloody fuck-” He began to say, when the monster before him took a step turning towards him.

“Oi! What are you doing!? They’ll send people after us you know!” Goldie warned him, “Fuck, the popo will already be on our asses with all this…”

Mightyrizard simply chuckled, “You know what they say.”

“Fuck the police?” Goldie attempted.

“Well...yeah that, but-” A black blaze swirled about his fangs once again, right then the boy turned tail and ran.

“Gotta catch them all.”

Darkness sprouted onto the forest, engulfing the boy whole, and leaving nothing but burnt remains.

Goldie sighed, "Well there goes the hood." as he watched a half Charizard half Mightyena chug a whole bottle of soda in one breath.