A beautiful sunny day shone brightly upon Pallet Town as three brand new trainers exited professor Oak’s laboratory, each with a starter pokemon in tow, the trainers joked and chuckled with one another as they walked.

“Hah, that hoe is so late she’s probably not gonna get a starting pokemon!” The female of the group stated with great amusement, long brown hair, green eyes, and a green-white school uniform, the girl led the other two forth towards the forest’s edge right beside the river’s dead end.

“Hehehe, I mean, I wouldn’t mind giving her my Onix.” Claimed one boy, jet black hair, blue eyes, a blue cap, blue jacket and grey jeans. He had a douchey look to his face.

“More of a weedle…” Green coughed to the third trainer, blonde hair, brown eyes and a red to black tracksuit.

“I didn’t need to know that Remy…but alright seriously,” Red groaned, raising his arm and stopping Blue in his tracks. “Quit the bullshit, you made your Mom’s Spearow steal her alarm clock again didn’t you Jackal?”

“Pffpfpft…No…” Jackal bullshitted back.

“Heh, tough luck on her whether he did or not!” Chuckled Remy.

“And you,” Red turned to Remy then, “Why are you always such an insufferable bitc-” He was about to ask as they lay stopped beside the river's dead-end.

“Magi…” When a sound came from the forest nearby.

“Shush!” Red then exclaimed, shushing himself. “Did you hear that?”

“What?! Come on! Continue that fucking sentence Chris!” Jackal growled, as his Squirtle and Chris’s Charmander glared at one another from each trainer’s arms.

Excited to have their first battle.

“Shush!” Chris exclaimed once again, “Listen! Do you hear that?” He asked the two, each going quiet then as they listened in to the forest.

“Magi Magi…” The sound came once more.

“A wild pokemon!” Remy whispered. “This close to town?”

“Never heard that call before…” Jackal mused, trying to locate the creature through the trees and bushes ahead.

“Dibs!” Chris called out, suddenly rushing off into the forest.

“W-wait! The fuck! Hell no!” Jackal called after him in a whisper, giving chase to Chris right after.

“Ugh, boys.” Remy groaned, calmly walking after the two as her Bulbasaur followed behind her. “There’s no way a wild pokemon is this close to town, maybe Route 1 but here…” She mused as she followed after them, watching as they rushed around the trees, making every sound in the book.

Rolling her eyes, Remy walked calmly and quietly, going around a tree she suddenly lost sight of them…

Catching a brief, blurred glimpse of what lay at the beach beyond the row of bushes before her.

Blurred because both Jackal and Chris suddenly grabbed an arm of hers each and pulled her down behind the bushes, looking confused Remy glanced at the both of them…

Both pale faced.

“Did…we just see what I think we just saw?” Jackal asked, still whispering.

“No way, no, no way.” Chris replied.

“What did you see?” Remy asked, having been given no time to see anything more than a red blur.

All three of them pushed their hands through the bushes then, peaking another glimpse at the beach.

Their eyes widening at the sight, their bodies going completely still as did their pokemon.

As they saw a four feet tall Magikarp with a humanoid body, sitting on a large rock and staring down the beach deep in contemplation.

They pulled themselves away from the sight.

“Magi Magi…Magi…”

The three glanced at one another, “There’s no mistake.” Chris said to them both.

“Yeah…” Jackal agreed.

“Mhm...” Remy added.

Then turning to stare into the bushes, they took another peek to find the Magichoke now…Checking itself out.

Flexing its arms, straightening its back and popping its shoulders. Its crimson muscles were bulging in places humans didn’t even have any. A crowd of Magikarps had even gathered at the beach’s shallows, watching the being in awe.

As it now flexed its arms downward and raised its chest forth…

Before beginning to rhythmically pop its rock-hard pecs.

Each trainer spoke in unison then.

“We’re being hypnotised and confused by the real pokemon to see…that.” Chris plainly said.

“I’m still asleep in bed being affected by a ghost pokemon’s nightmare power!” Jackal grumbled.

“That’s the sexiest Magikarp I have ever fucking seen.” Remy mused in agreement.

Chris and Jackal both looked away and turned to stare dumbfounded at her.

“What?” Remy asked, her expression turning red as she glanced at either boy. “Come’on…girls can have those thoughts too!”

“You need Arceus Remy.” Chris said in disbelief as Jackal simply shook his head in disappointment.

When suddenly a rhythmic sound began to play out from beyond the bushes.

“Karp! Karp! Karp! Karp!”

Looking through the foliage once again, the three new trainers were presented with an even stranger sight than before.

The Magikarps that had showed up at the shallows had tripled in number and…

And they were…

“Karp! Karp! Karp! Karp!”

They were now bowing down their fins before the Magichoke, as if praising the arrival of the messiah.

Pale as a Froslass, the three trainers took their pokemon into their arms and stalked away from the bushes, back into the forest.

Pausing midway back, Chris glanced at both his neighbours. “Guys, we saw, nothing.”

Each nodded in absolute agreement, even the pokemon.

Moments earlier

Magichoke lay sitting upon a beach rock, contemplating life, the universe, and existence within it.

Okay okay, chill b, take yourself through everything that just happened step by step…

He thought to himself, not noticing the ‘Magi’ sounds he was making as he pondered.

I was just laying in bed, minding my own fucking business, nibbling on the stylus as…usual…The fucking stylus! Okay okay, calm…relax! I woke up…in tall grass…that fucking pidgey! Fuck! Shit! God damnit!

He stood up, about to slam his fist into the rock he had just been sitting on, only to pause.

He stared at his hands.

You know…this actually ain’t so bad.

He thought as he glanced over his body.

This is more muscle than I could have ever gotten in that boring fucking world!

Looking himself over, Magichoke began to flex his muscles.

Ohohoho yeah, fuck yeah. Look at these things! I’m a Magikarp with a nine pack! A fucking nine pack! Who’s gonna stop me now! Fuck Rick from class B, take my lunch now bitch!

Grunting as he pushed his chest forth.

I wonder…

He began to pop his pecs.

Holy karp.

Up one went, then down, then up the other, then down…it went on for a while.

Holy fucking shit.

“Karp?”

A sound then snapped him out of his amused daze, Magichoke turned to the shallows nearby only to stumble several feet back.

“Not…Karp?” The voice asked in a whisper, as before him now floated over a dozen Magikarps.

“Uhhh, yes Karp?” He tentatively whispered back, and a unified gasp came from the school of fish, as more gathered to stare at him in awe.

“The legends…are true!” A weary fishy voice then exclaimed in a croak, as a white-bearded Magikarp pushed his way through the rest, coming to float before Magichoke with wide trembling eyes. “The…T-Th-The prophecy! It comes to fruition today my disciples!” The old karp exclaimed.

Magichoke simply stared on in confusion as the entire, now more than three dozen, school of Magikarps gasped once more.

“No more must we suffer as prey to all! No more shall we have to splash around as helpless snacks!” The old Karp began to preach, “Our lord has granted us mercy! Bestowed us with a grand evolution! You!” It then exclaimed, leaping out of the water and splashing down before Magichoke’s feet.

“Me?” Magichoke repeated in confusion.

“You! This old karp begs of you almighty great one!” It begged, flopping about. “Please! Karp please! Bless us with your power too! Let us finally rise from the shallows and take what is rightfully ours! No longer having to wait and hope to become great serpents!”

“Uhh…I don’t think I can do that.” Magichoke mused, shaking his palms at the hopping fish.

“Then please! Bestow it onto our young! We offer you everything! Our homes are for you to reside in! Our people for you to lead! Our women’s wombs for you to take!” The old Karp continued to plead, “Bless our females with your godly seed!”

Magichoke was at this point at a complete loss for words.

“Let us raise an army! The Magikarps shall finally rise up from the pits of the food chain! We shall dominate the entire land-world!” The old crone rambled on, as the entirety of the Magikarps before him began to chant.

“Join us! Join us! Join us!”

Magichoke’s left eye began to twitch.

“Bless us! Bless us! Bless us!”

This was just too much, too much for his mind to handle.

“Mate with-” They were about to chant.

But Magichoke had enough of it.

As he suddenly kicked the old Magikarp, sending it soaring through the air, tears of joy trailing behind it as the rest of the Magikarps watched it fly with awe.

It shot into the sky and as everything that flew that far up, nothing but a brief sparkle could now be seen.

Oh shit I didn’t mean to…

Magichoke thought as he watched the Magikarps turn around to stare back at him.

“He made the old man fly!” One exclaimed.

“Holy Gyarados! He really is a god!” another gasped.

“Make me fly too!” A third shouted.

“Yes yes! Give me flamethrower!” Asked a fourth.

“What about dark pulse!?” The fifth added.

“Impregnate me!” A sixth begged.

“I bloody can’t!-” Magichoke then shouted back, shutting each of them up. “Wait what the fuck did you just say?” He then asked the last to speak, eyes just as wide open as his fishy mouth.

The Magikarp then slowly and awkwardly began to flap its way to the back of the school.