Kaldalis turned to his friends and shrugged exaggeratedly. “So, as it turns out, I’m an asshole.”

Balrim, currently trapped on the other side of the gate with the rest of their teammates, frowned deeply. “This is, um… less than ideal. But I don’t think it’s completely unsalvageable. You know. Maybe.”

“Good job, asshole,” Myrin said, unhelpfully.

Kaldalis ignored her, even though he smiled at her teasing. “Yeah, especially since we don’t have warp stones or hearth scrolls or anything that lets us get home easily.” He rubbed at his face, suddenly really tired. “Getting stuck behind a locked door could be a straight-up softlock. It would be bad game design. Monsoon would avoid that at every opportunity.”

“I don’t know about all that,” Balrim said with a grimace. “Do you remember Teufel 3 at launch?”

“Okay, well, they try, at least?” Kaldalis laughed, and it was a bitter laugh. “Usually?”

“You know, I love taking shots at Monsoon from inside their own game as much as the next guy,” Myrin said, “but can you help me, maybe?”

Despite her small size, Myrin stepped up to wrestle with the giant portcullis that separated them, almost as if she thought she could lift it. Even with all her effort, the door didn’t budge in a really obvious ‘fuck you’ to them.

“If it was even just rattling, I’d be with you,” Kaldalis said, grabbing the metal bars and testing his strength against it anyway to no effect. “But there’s no movement at all. Either it’s locked in place, or it’s way heavier than it looks.”

“Fine, sure, use logic,” Myrin grumbled as she let go of the grate. She crossed her arms, almost as if pouting, but without the puffy lip to complete the look. Was it… was she concerned for him? Kaldalis was touched. “So, what do we do then?”

“There are some options...” Kaldalis paused, mostly because he didn’t know what they would be. He looked around the room, hoping something would jump out at him.

There was no sign of the enhydra, and the room he was in had another exit on the opposite wall. Otherwise, there were no holes in the wall, or branching hallways.

He thought back to the way they’d come, and what he’d ran past. It had been a chaotic scramble as he chased after the enhydra, but he could briefly remember passing a bunch of hallways.

“This area is full of forks and branches,” he said finally. “Whatever this place was, this must have been the core of it. It wouldn’t make any sense for it to be an insurmountable mess. People had to live here or work here, or whatever they fucking used this place for.” He scratched the back of his head. “Assuming this isn’t just some David Bowie bullshit.”

“Logical or no, it might still be a labyrinth,” Balrim said. “It looks pretty chaotic to me, even without exploring.” He gestured up and to his right, where the minimap would have been for him.

The minimap.

Kaldalis hadn’t been paying attention to the little map on the way through the dungeon (or really, before, ever), mostly because it was semi-transparent and easy to dismiss. Most of this place was dark, too, making the map even harder to see.

But now that he focused his attention on it, he saw that Balrim wasn’t wrong.

The reason the map had been dark was because, unlike in the overworld, the only parts that were lit up were where they had already been, and their immediate surroundings. Looking at it now, what little he could see of the branches and side rooms he’d passed on the run here all seemed to spiderweb out in every direction rather than fold in on themselves to facilitate exploration.

“Could it be that this is all a defense? A maze full of traps?” Kaldalis frowned at the map, trying to make sense of the potential spaghetti hidden in the darkness. “Like, maybe this isn’t where they lived and worked. This is what protected something from potential invaders.”

“I could see that,” Balrim said, nodding. He too was focused on his map, and from the look of it, so was Myrin. “But, alright. What does that tell us?”

“In the long term?” Kaldalis mused on the idea. “It depends on what we find at the bottom. Like, if the basement of this hides some ancient civilization that fought the Infernal Horde, then we know mazes and puzzle-based obstacles are a tried-and-true defense against them. We can use that to help protect against future attacks, and maybe build up the defenses of the town?.”

The talsar blinked at him, as if confused. “Oh, yeah, sure. I guess that’s true. But in the short term? Like, how does this help us get you back with us on this side?”

“Um,” Kaldalis looked up at his minimap, and then back at Balrim. And then back up to his minimap. He racked his brain for a way out of this situation. “Well, I’ve got good news and bad news.” He paused, and watched as everyone motioned for him to continue, before smiling sheepishly. “The good news is there’s no bad news. Seriously, I’ve got nothing here, folks.”

“Great, well, it’s been nice working with you,” Myrin said, squeezing her hand through the metal bars of the door. Kaldalis found himself taking her hand to give it a reflexive businesslike shake on impulse. “We wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.”

“It’s been an honor, sir.” Balrim saluted somberly, before breaking into a giant grin. “We’ll never forget you, whatever-your-name-is.”

“Gee, thanks. I’m not dead you asshats.” Kaldalis found himself grinning, too. “But seriously, there’s got to be a way for us to regroup.”

“Well, it looks like there’s only one way forward for you,” Balrim said, pointing past him at the one unblocked exit in the room. “Hopefully we can find the path that will meet back up at the end.”

“I get the feeling that Monsoon would split the difference between maze and hallway,” Myrin said. “A lot of these might be dead ends, but I bet all the ones that aren’t all end in the same place. And that there’s more than one way to get through.”

“I hope you’re right,” Kaldalis said with a shrug. “It’s not like I have another option, unless this leads to another of those exits of shame.”

“Maybe that’s how we’ll find each other,” Myrin said cheerfully. She waved her arms in the air, as if releasing the bees. “You get an exit of shame! And you get an exit of shame! In fact, exits of shame for everyone!”

Kaldalis flipped her off, which only made her cackle with laughter. “You know, I’d ask how you’re going to manage out there without a tank, but I don’t really have an answer for how I’m going to manage in here without… An, um, anything. So, you know. Good luck?”

“It’s better you than any of us,” Haldir said, finally breaking his morose silence. Kaldalis had almost forgotten the other vathon was there. “Like we were saying before, you have the biggest margin of error for doing this alone. With the rest of us together, Myrin and I can deal with the enemies as best we can, with Balrim on hand to keep us from dying.”

“Right,” Kaldalis said, finally turning towards the exit to the room. He paused, waiting for someone to come up with a better idea. But no one said anything, so he marched forward two steps. “Alright.” He shook out his arms, trying to hype himself up. “Time to go be Dungeon Solo Hero Kaldalis and Do This Whole Thing Myself Because I’m a Moron.”

“I’d read that web novel,” Myrin said with another cackle.

Once more, he raised his middle finger high over his head, and the gesture was met with laughter from behind.

But without anything left to say, Kaldalis moved on and left his friends behind.

He hoped that their paths would meet again. And soon.

Hopefully before he encountered a boss monster.