Natalia was not pouting. She was not. Yes, she was staring out the small windows of the carriage she was in with an expression that could best be described as moody. Yes, she was very purposefully being antisocial and avoiding hearing any of the myriad words coming out of Valerna’s mouth. And yes, indeed, her hair, normally impeccable, was more mussed then it had any right to be, even if she had been traveling for a day and a half. But no, she was not pouting. Most certainly not. She was not angry at Caj Donovan, the fool man, at all. In any way. Sure, it would’ve been nice if he’d come to speak with her, the spineless, pathetic, cowardly, jug-headed fool, but she wasn’t angry about it, and she definitely was not pouting.

“Stop pouting.” Valerna’s voice sliced the silence like a pair of scissors cutting a string. Natalia snapped her head in the direction of her older sister, eyes glaring. She still hadn’t totally forgiven Valerna for their argument about Caj a week before, but she was of the opinion that they were probably even, given that she had blackened Val’s eye.

“I. Am. Not. Pouting.” She growled.

“Are too.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“No, I’m Not!” Natalia felt that she was on the edge of blackening Valerna’s eye once more, just for the principle of the matter, but she restrained herself.

“Are you certain of that fact Natty?” Valerna asked, “Because it seems to me that you are acting awfully pouty…” She paused for a moment, looking up from where she was trying to send two coins dancing across the back of her fingers simultaneously. “Poutlike? Poutacious? I don’t know. Regardless, you look like a priest who just heard seven unwashed miners curse the Reapers name.” Natalia frowned deeper, and Valerna looked up at her, then back down as she almost fumbled one of the coins. “Make that ten drunken unwashed miners.”

Natalia let out a huff then turned towards the window of the carriage. After a moment of silence, she slumped in defeat. If there was anyone else present, she wouldn’t have let her distress show so openly, but it was just her and Valerna in the carriage, as the maid was sitting up front with the driver and Emma had elected to ride Snap today, rather than tag along with them in the carriage.

“You could be more gracious.” Natalia grumbled, “And at least pretend not to notice.” Valerna shrugged her left shoulder, leaving her right still, no doubt in an attempt to find success in the rolling coins.

“Seems rather pointless if you ask me.” She wrinkled her nose in distaste as one of the coins fell, but snatched it out of the air. She had been insistent on mastering this rick ever since she had seen Rai doing it a week or so ago. “Ignoring the arrow in your side doesn’t stop you from losing blood.” Natalia huffed.

“Look at you,” she intoned mockingly, “Using metaphors, like an actual intelligent member of society.”

It was a low blow, but Natalia was still angry with her older sister, even if she wasn’t willing to fully admit it. Her fury burned a little hotter when Valerna shrugged and said nothing in reply, obviously unflustered. Natalia took a deep breath. It wasn’t good to let anger taint your judgement. It led to unwise decisions and untimely ends. She was doing it again. Forgetting that people had different motivations that her. She knew that, but at the moment, that particular bit of knowledge was doing her about as much good as a saddle without a horse. She sighed again and rubbed at her eyes, looking out the window again at the winding cobble streets that made up the main portion of the village named Swallows Rest. The disorganized clamber particular to any center of trade and transportation, regardless of scale, was reminiscent of her state of mind at the moment.

She had been foolish to speak to Lord MacNeil in the way that she did, regardless of whether or not he deserved it. Men like him were too used to getting their own way. The way to handle men like that, was to make them think that they were the ones directing their own actions. In fact, most men needed to be handled that way, in Natalia’s experience. They were too damned stubborn to operate in any other manner. She, however, in her utterly blind idiocy, had decided that insulting Lord MacNeil like a child would get what she wanted. That was foolish, for several reasons. The first was that MacNeil would feel that he had to enter into a confrontation, for the sake of his pride if not his desires. Furthermore, her spurning of him had likely fostered a poor relationship at best with House MacNeil in the future, which was disadvantageous, and would take time and energy to work around, time and energy that she would need to start expending as soon as she got into Greatriver, in order to minimize damage. The third, most stupid thing that she hadn’t thought about, was that any conflict between her and Lord MacNeil would inevitably drag Caj into the mix, which added a component of emotional complexity that she really didn’t want to deal with right now.

Which was what her real current problem was. Her view of Caj was changing. She’d always known that he was a superbly skilled warrior for his age, as good or better as her father had been in his youth, but she hadn’t really realized it. Really, knowing something intellectually was all well and good, but actually witnessing was another. Caj had beat a man wielding a sword with nothing more than his dagger. Not even one that meant to be a weapon either, but something that amounted to little more than a belt knife. Even if he was larger, stronger, and better trained, that was something that should be difficult. Not impossible perhaps, considering the skill disparity between Lord MacNeil and Caj, and some luck, but certainly, easy shouldn’t be the word. Caj, however, had been downright dismissive towards Lord MacNeil. But even that, even the level of skill displayed wasn’t what caused Natalia distress. It was the look in his eyes as he had brutalized the young lord, without ever drawing blood. As though, the only reason he didn’t end the foolish fop was because it would cause an inconvenience, as though the taking of another human’s life would affect him not at all. Maybe it was just her previous conversation with Valerna bringing her worst fears to light, like lanterns leading the way to a rocky precipice. Valerna sighed, cutting off Natalia’s thoughts. When Natalia looked over at her older sister, she saw the woman putting the two coins away, and turning to face her.

“Look, Nat.” Valerna said, somewhat distractedly, “Just because you see the bad side of a man, doesn’t make him a bad man.” She leaned to the side stretching as she spoke. “Caj Donovan, or MacDougal, or MacChaff-Face, or whatever in the name of the Reaper he’s calling himself these days, is a violent man, yes?” she didn’t wait for Natalia to respond, speaking before her younger sister could, “Of course he is. Father said he couldn’t have asked for a better student, and anyone subjected to his ‘enlightened teaching methods’ will come away a violent person. That doesn’t mean he is bad, or needlessly violent, it just means that he is just as okay with beating the ever-living tar out of someone he doesn’t like as he is with politely avoiding them. It just depends on what feels right at the time.” Natalia didn’t feel that Valerna was painting a very good picture of Caj at the moment, but she elected to wait. Valerna liked to ramble, but she would eventually get to whatever her point was, providing that she didn’t forget it. Valerna could be remarkably airheaded, after all. “The thing you have too ask yourself, little sister, is if you are okay with that. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with a man who possesses such tendencies? That doesn’t lead to a particularly stable existence, does it?” She paused, stopping her stretching to meet Natalia’s eyes. Apparently Valerna had well collected thoughts today, and her words were starting to stir Natalia’s mind as well. “What is it you always say, Natty? Ah, yes, ‘Instability in a household leads to complications in a household…” hmm… It seems to me, little sister, that you need to decide what your priorities are. Your house or your heart.”

Natalia was suddenly furious in a way she had never been before. Did Valerna really have the nerve to try and lecture her on loyalty to the house’s interests? Did she not see how blatantly hypocritical that was, when Natalia had been the only force holding their House’s stability in place, ever since their mother died? Just as she was open to open her mouth to tell Valerna right where she could stick her ‘advice’, Valerna spoke again, voice musing.

“House or Heart… Who can say, really what the best choice is? Neither is wrong, you just have to choose in which direction you wish to walk, and then… Walk.” There was a clamor from outside, and Valerna perked up. “Oh, excellent! It sounds like we are ready to board!” In a flash, the older woman was out of the carriage, leaving the door slamming behind her. Valerna sat, rather nonplussed by it all. Heart or house… Heart or house.