Chapter 32:

Maxim fidgeted with the basket in his hands. He stood up, walked towards the stairs, hesitated, turned around and stormed back to his chair. He sat, fuming for a few minutes, then violently stood up and repeated his actions. He wanted to go up the stairs, but he also didn’t. He wanted to go apologize to Caj Donovan, and attempt to repair relationships with his little sisters paren’ and his father’s Uchinek. He also wanted to turn around and run in the other direction as fast as he could. He wanted to beg forgiveness for trying to kill the man in his state of drunkenness, but he also wanted to keep his pride intact.

Why is this so difficult? He thought to himself. He’s just a man, Maxim… just a man. Not a monster. He inhaled deeply and strode for the stairs purposefully. He was going to go those stairs this time. He would. Definitely. He got within an inch this time before abruptly spinning on his heel. Nope! He growled to himself.

“Stupid fool. The blind cannot see. The proud will not.” He repeated something his mother had oft said to him in his youth. Maxim knew that he was a prideful man. Unhealthily so. It was something that was a part of him, and that probably wasn’t going away anytime soon. Still, sometimes he wished it would. Part of his problem with Caj Donovan was that he was scared of the man, not just in a physical sense, but an emotional one. Would he take Maxim’s place in Bietre’s eyes, as the perfect son? It certainly seemed like that. Everyone thought that Caj was perfect, and that Maxim was defective, even Maxim himself. He remembered something else his mother used to say before she died ten years ago.

‘Comparing one man to another is like comparing Pine wood to Ash. Ash burns far better then pine, good, and hot, and without all the mess from the sap. But does that mean that we don’t need pine wood? No! Of course not. Nearly all our furniture is made of pine, and we use the needles as mulch. Neither tree is better than the other, they are just used for different things.’

Maxim was snapped out of his thoughts by a voice behind him.

“Oh, and here I thought ye was actually gon’ go through with it that time.”

Maxim spun around and looked at the familiar face of Rai Half-head. Half-head… Maxim couldn’t believe that he would wear the name so proudly. Maxim, as aforementioned, was a prideful man, and he valued his appearance. To be so horribly disfigured… He didn’t feel disgust for the boy, not really. No, what he felt was a deep pity.

“Got yer eyeful, lordling? Or would ye like me tae bat me eyelashes and strip too?”

Maxim abruptly realized that he had been staring, and flushed deep red. When he wasn’t drunk, he was actually a relatively considerate individual, if somewhat arrogant at times.

“I apologize.” He said, making sure his genuineness was reflected in his voice. Rai raised his one remaining eyebrow at that.

“Oh, that’s good, I suppose. Now, why don’t ye take yer basket of making good gifts upstairs and repeat that fer Big-man.”

“Big… man?” Maxim questioned thickly.

“Caj.” Rai clarified.

“I, uh, well, you see Master Rai, the thing is, I have this previous engagement with a, someone?” Maxim said hopelessly. He’d never been any good at lying, or pulling an excuse out of thin air, and the glare on this burned boy’s face wasn’t helping matters. “Really, I can’t afford to miss it… I must be going now..” He turned away, ready to bolt, But Rai was already by his side, right hand gripping Maxim’s elbow, as his hook dexterously shot out and scooped the basket out of his hands.

“Indeed, ye do be having an important engagement with someone currently. It be that man, at the top of those stairs. Trust me Lord Maxim, it’s better fer ye tae apologize now, rather than later. He’ll take better to it.”

With that, they were marching toward the stairs. Maxim wasn’t at all certain about this whole situation. He wanted to leave, but Rai’s grip was surprisingly strong and reassuring. Rai continued speaking as they started up the narrow stairway.

“I’ve known Big-man fer near on four’n’a’half years now, and he’s not the type tae hold a grudge fer what a man does when he’s in his cups. He busted up yer father’s face pretty bad once, because he was drunk. I suspect that he’ll be more understanding that ye expect, Lordling.”

Maxim looked at the boy next to him, surprise evident in his features. Caj Donovan had struck his father? And lived to tell the tale? No, it couldn’t be. Maxim could believe that perhaps he had won a bout or two with Bietre over the period of five years he spent training under Father, but only by pure luck of the draw. Any other explanation didn’t make sense. Father was a legend, a monster in combat on and off the training court. Maxim had sparred with his father as soon as he got home, and had lost, as expected. Maxim was quick and deadly with his Sabre, and agile almost beyond belief with his Kinjal. In Edral, He was easily better than any other warrior his age, and most who were beyond it too, but defeating his father was beyond him. Hell, even landing a blow wasn’t exactly probable. Possible perhaps, if he fought enough bouts, but Father normally put him on his ass within the first few seconds of a spar, and put him there every time he stood up. Yet still, everyone insisted that Caj solidly beat Bietre 3 to 4 bouts out of ten. Maxim had talked to Gerald this morning, and the burly captain of the guard assured him that what had been said was true. In facts he had commented that he felt like he almost wasn’t needed with Caj serving as Father’s guard, and that he mostly just saw to the upkeep of the walls around the estate, and the rotations of guards that never saw any action. Maxim felt his heart rate pick up. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to pop in on this man, even if it was to apologize. What if Caj still had hard feelings? What if he decided to try and take retribution? Maxim gulped, and halfheartedly cursed himself for a coward. Despite his thoughts about running in the other direction, they proceeded up the stairs. Step. Step. Step. Was it possible for the Reaper to intervene and make the stairway longer? Maxim hoped so. Step. Step. Step. The next landing loomed close in his vision. Step. Step. Step. They stopped in front of a door. This couldn’t be it, right? Surely it was up another landing… right? Maxim’s hopes were dashed when Rai produced a key, unlocking the door and gaining entry.

They stepped into a living area of what Maxim recognized as a guest suite. Two doors led off of the main room, two bedchambers, one for servants, and another for servants. The one designed for servants had its door open, and Maxim could see a curtain stretched across the small room, no doubt to grant some privacy for Rai’s little sister. Emma, was it? The door to the other room was closed. Rai Half-head swaggered up to the door, calm as you please, and rapped on it very firmly with his dully gleaming hook.

“Oi,” he said loudly, “Ye’d best be decent in there, ‘cause we be coming in even if yer not.” Even as he was speaking, he was opening the door. He placed the basket into Maxim’s hands and shoved him into the room. Maxim experienced a moment of confusion. Was he being manhandled by a boy 6 years his junior? Yes, yes, he was. He sighed to himself resignedly.

Ah, see how far the Noblis family has fallen. He thought sardonically. He walked through the door, still feeling nervous, but also resigned to his fate. He walked into a scene that he hadn’t been expecting. In front of him were two people, instead of one. One of them was Caj, as he expected. The other was Nat, something that he hadn’t foreseen. Oh, Chaff it all, now he just felt awkward. Nat was flushed, reaching from her cheeks to where it disappeared into her dress. Both her and Caj’s clothes looked to be in a mess, and Caj’s hair was ruffled. While Natalia looked embarrassed and somewhat mortified to see him, Caj didn’t give him a second glance, simply shooting an annoyed look at Rai. Maxim shivered slightly at what looked like a glare to him, but Rai just grinned cheekily at his master.

“Rai.” Caj said sternly, “What have I said about knocking?” Rai’s eyes widened slightly, into the picture of innocence.

Well, Maxim thought, About as close someone with a face so scarred can come to looking innocent, anyways.

“I did be knocking, Big-man, just like ye told me tae.” Caj cocked an eyebrow at that, and Rai smirked. “Don’t ye be worrying Big-man, I would nae be letting him in if ye were in true need of privacy.”

“I’m sure.” Caj said drily. “Just like you didn’t let Bietre in.” Rai nodded firmly

“Just like I didn’t be letting Pointy-beard in.” Rai said assuredly. “I did nae have tae. He has a key ye know?” Caj snorted.

Pointy-beard? Maxim thought incredulously, Is that what he calls my Father? Maxim was actually insulted for a moment, before he realized that the boy meant nothing by it. He tried to let it roll off his shoulders and was met with mixed success. He was pulled back to current happenings by Rai’s next words.

“Anyhow, Lordling here has something he be wanting tae say tae ye, Big-man.” Rai gave Maxim a push forward. Maxim fidgeted nervously with the small wicker basket in his hands, filled with a bottle of wine, a selection of dried fruits, and a small purse of money.

“I…” he gulped, “I have something to… to…” he pulled at his collar. Was it hot in here? It was, wasn’t it? He continued trying to mumble out his apology, botching it over and over, and having to restart. Caj let out an impatient sigh and interrupted him.

“Come on now, Maxim, spit it out.”

Maxim looked up from his feet to find two golden eyes piercing him. He flinched slightly, and froze. Oh Reaper’s Harvest, this man was liable to kill him if he didn’t answer soon. He gulped, and then began to speak, trying to maintain his dignity.

***

“Come on now, Maxim, spit it out.” Caj said with a sigh.

Caj had been having a reasonably good day up to this point. No one had tried to kill him this morning, and he even managed to stay atop Old Red for a full two minutes, despite the old stallion’s best efforts. Apparently, according to Nat, that was about the best that anyone other than John Cob could manage with the old beast. Caj was really needed to a conversation with Bietre about misinformation. When he had first started riding Old Red, Bietre had told him that he would be training his horseback riding on a ‘gentle and well-mannered beast.’ One that ‘even an absolute novice would have an easy time of riding!’. Liar. After his success with the horse, Natalia had stopped by, in quite the state. Apparently, she and Valerna had gotten into a hell of an argument, although over what Caj hadn’t the foggiest of ideas. She had been a wreck, and had just needed to talk to someone. If made him feel good to be there for her, like she had been for him after Narm died. She had helped pull him out of a dark place, and it seemed like the least he could do to be a shoulder for her to cry on. After she had vented for an hour, they had tea, and talked about lighter subjects for a while. Then, she had grabbed his hand and led him into the bedroom. His day had been a succession of highs, things that made him feel happy, competent, or good about himself. And now this.

Caj’s experiences with Maxim thus far hadn’t been the most positive; the man had tried to kill him twice, and had maintained a certain level of hostility any time that he wasn’t making an attempt on Caj’s life. Due to the aforementioned factors, Caj’s gaze was… less than friendly. Caj was fully aware of the fact that his stare was making the man in front of him nervous, but he couldn’t trouble himself to care. If Maxim didn’t want to be looked at like this, than he shouldn’t have tried to kill Caj. The silence extended. Maxim shifted his feet, obviously finding the silence uncomfortable. Rai, for his part, was still leaning against the doorframe, perpetually amused smirk fixed on his face, as per normal. Caj was perfectly comfortable with letting this draw out, but Nat was apparently neither amused nor uncomfortable, but annoyed. She slapped Caj’s arm.

“Stop it you.” She said, reproach in her voice. “Don’t be an ass. Max has obviously come to apologize, and you are trying to scare him.”

She scowled at him. It had the opposite effect that she intended. Caj smiled at her. She really was too cute when she was mad. Her frown deepened when she saw his smile and she stepped away from him, putting her hands on her hips and glaring.

“Caj Donovan,” she said, voice warning, “If you don’t wipe that smile off of your face right now, you will regret it.”

Caj immediately cleared his face of emotion. Natalia sniffed at him, still looking angry for some reason. She popped up on her toes, giving him a peck on the lips, then glared at him and Maxim.

“I’m leaving now. You two boys make up, and if I hear about any broken bones, bloodied knives, or dead bodies, I will not be happy. Understand?” After receiving two very enthusiastic head nods, she swept out of the room, leaving Rai, Maxim, and Caj behind. Rai had stepped fully into the room, letting Natalia out, and he leaned into the hallway to watch her as she walked away. He let out a low whistle.

“Scythe and Sickle Big-man,” He shot a glance over his shoulder. “Ye know how tae pick ‘em, don’t ye?”

“Hey,” Maxim said, a surprising amount of fury lacing his voice, “That’s my sister you are talking about. Watch your tongue, or you may find yourself without it. Yes?”

Rai looked up at the angry young lord, obviously unconcerned.

“It’s Half-head, tae ye, Lordling.” Rai said evenly, then gestured at Caj. “Rai, tae him, and tae her,” he pointed to the door that Natalia left through. “But tae ye, it’s Half-head. Fer now at least. Become crew, and that’ll change.” Maxim looked very confused, and Rai looked exceedingly pleased with himself. Caj sighed and rubbed at his eyes.

“Rai, behave yourself.” He said wearily. “Don’t try and enrage visitors. We’ve been over this.” Rai didn’t dim in the slightest at the tone of reproach in Caj’s voice.

“Aye, Big-man, but does he really be a visitor if he be living in the house?”

Caj gave Rai a flat look. Rai’s smile receded a little bit. Caj could tell that the lad knew he was pushing it. When Caj spoke, his tone was light and silent, but his gaze was heavy, like the watchful eyes of a predator observing its prey. Caj pretended not to notice Maxim shiver slightly.

“What do you think Master Rai?”

Rai swallowed slightly, smile now curiously absent from his burned face. Caj fought the urge to smile. While his smile would make most people uncomfortable, Rai knew him too well, and was no longer made uncomfortable by it. A bland look was for the best.

“Ah, well, Ser Undertaker,” Rai said cautiously, “I think I’d say that he rightly does count as a visitor, now don’t he?” Caj fought the urge to chuckle. Rai only ever used his ‘street name’ when he was exceptionally nervous. It had something to do with the culture of street life, although what exactly, Caj wasn’t certain, as Rai didn’t talk about that time in his life very often.

“Hmmm… I have to agree, Master Rai.” Caj replied evenly. He left it at that, turning to face Maxim now. Caj was surprised when he saw the man’s expression.

Maxim’s face had undergone a transformation. Where before his emotions had been an obvious mix of caution, fear, and perhaps a certain level of anger or hatred, his face had clothed itself in a different raiment of messages. Grudging respect was painted in the way his brows furrowed, sketched in the thoughtful purse of his lips. Where once mindless fear had shaded his eyes, and damaged pride colored his vision, now a considering calculation traced the outline of his expression, and his eyes speared towards Caj with complex questions. He was most probably having trouble computing what exactly Caj was supposed to be. A gravedigger by trade, turned to a knight by training, and then a courtier by words? It was obvious that Maxim had questions, but to his credit, he seemed to recognize that this wasn’t the time to ask them. Instead, he held out the wicker basket in his hands, which were far steadier than they had been just two minutes before.

“I believe we may have gotten off on the wrong foot. My mother used to say ‘If you start a journey on the wrong foot, you end on an even wronger one.’ I believe that I would like to have you as a friend, but if not that, then I at least do not want you as an enemy. Yes?”

Caj looked at the man, two years older than him, but a full head shorter, and smiled. Despite the ferocity of the grin, Maxim did not flinch, he instead gave a hesitant smile in return. Caj ignored the basket in Maxim’s left hand and grasped him by his right forearm, in the traditional grip of two warriors greeting one another in Edral. After the fiasco where Rai almost lost his head, Caj had taken some time over the past week to brush up on his foreign etiquette and cultural awareness, and give his ward some much needed education in that regard. Emma of course had proved to know more about it than he did, and even had a book given her by Isabelle. Caj had read through it, and was planning to have Rai do the same. It wouldn’t do to have one of his charges to get their throats slit due to not knowing that someone from the Pewhoasil Desert would initiate a blood feud if you tried to shake their right hand instead of their left. Luckily, Edral didn’t have any such drastic customs, but this was a way for Caj to try and bridge the gap between himself and Maxim, for Nat’s sake if not his own. Who knew? Maybe he would even come to like the man. Caj slapped Maxim’s shoulder as they shook.

“Consider it in the past Maxim. I know better than most what a man in his cups can be prone towards. All is forgiven.”

Maxim’s smile widened; relief obvious as he set the wicker basket on Caj’s nightstand.

“Good, I am glad to hear it. I do have two questions though…” Caj raised an eyebrow.

“Oh? What would those be?” he queried

“First, could be have a proper spar? I feel I would benefit from it.” Caj immediately nodded.

“WE can definitely have a proper spar sometime, maybe even several.”

“Good, good. As for my second question,” he turned to Rai, who was leaning against the wall silently. Maxim pointed at Caj, Rai then himself. “Big Man, Half Head, Lordling?” He said with puzzlement, “Why these names?” Rai shrugged.

“Because they be what ye are.” He Pointed at Caj with his right, and only, index finger, “He be a big man,” he gestured at Maxim, “Ye be a Lordling, and me… well, my name is rather self-explanatory, now isn’t it, eh Lordling?” Maxim looked somewhat nonplussed then waved at Caj.

“He isn’t that big though.” Maxim said with a frown, “Yes, he is tall, but he isn’t that big.” Rai shrugged.

“Big-man has what ye’d call, a ‘larger than life’ quality about him, he does.” Caj wondered if they realized that he was standing right there, but just decided to focus on the contents of the basket on his wardrobe, instead of this seemingly pointless conversation.

“He doesn’t seem ‘larger than life’.” Maxim stated succinctly after a moment. Caj could practically feel the man’s eyes boring a hole into the back of his head. He heard Rai, and had a bad premonition, but it was too late.

“Maybe ye should ask yer sister just how ‘larger’ he is…” Rai said with lewd humor. Caj groaned. The boy really had been spending too much of his off hours with the guardsmen.

“Hey!” Maxim said hotly, “Say that again you-” Caj interrupted, cutting this off before it could spiral beyond control.

“Rai!” He said sharply, quiet anger in his voice. “Sisters. Are. Off. Limits. Do I make myself clear? If not, I can always let you have that sparring match with Maxim instead. He might not be able to hurt me, but I guarantee that he’d make shark bait out of you.” Caj wasn’t joking. He wouldn’t let Maxim hurt Rai, not badly, but the boy needed to learn to hold his tongue. Rai wasn’t stupid, and recognized the deadly seriousness of his employers words.

“Aye Big-man,” he said quietly. He turned to Maxim. “Sorry Lordling. Sisters be off limits. I should nae have said what I did.”

Maxim looked stuck between anger and confusion. Caj had so abruptly resolved the conflict that he didn’t know where to go now. Caj saved him the trouble.

“Alright you two, I am going to have to ask you to clear out. I’ve got some reading to do, and then some errands to run for myself and Bietre. Rai, you’ll be accompanying me, so don’t go far.”

“Aye Big-man.” Rai said as Caj herded him and Maxim to the door. Caj pushed them out and shut the door behind them, smiling slightly as he heard them start to bicker.

“See Lordling? That did nae be so bad now did it? Ye were all scared over nothing.”

“I was not scared Half-head. I was nervous. Nothing else.”

“Uh-huh. Suuuure, Lordling. Whatever helps ye sleep at night.”

“Bastard.”

“Broken-nose.”

“Wax-head.”

“Whore-monger.”

“Lecher.”

“That be what yer sister said Lordling…”

Caj heard the rapid thump of feet, probably Rai running away from Maxim. He snorted as he heard the last words. Shaking his head.

“HEY, sisters are off limits for you!”

The sound of the two faded away, and Caj sat down with a sigh, pulling out the book Emma had given him, and preparing to re-read a chapter or two.