I have a bias I don’t know about.

Leethy

1 Minute Later - Leethy - University of Ottawa Cafeteria

“Okay, what’s your plan for tipping over the economy.” I ask.

Horm’s excited. That’s nice, it’s been a while. Being evil is agreeing with him.

We’ve known each other a long time. He’s my best friend. He can get like this sometimes - totally wired on some weird idea. I generally go along with these bouts of craziness. Some of the best times of my life. Usually ends in disaster, but if you dream big enough, your failures can be kinda successful. Looks like he’s ramping up for a big one this time.

“I don’t really have a plan.” He admits cheerily. “More like a bunch of vague feelings. There’s a huge housing bubble. A debt crisis. Eviction crisis. Zombie corporations. Inequality. Automation. Zero percent interest. Quantitative easing. A pandemic. A government with no ideas.” He shrugs. “Maybe there’s a plan in there? Somewhere? Feels like one stiff poke could knock the whole thing down.”

I rub my head. “Alright. What if you do tip over the economy? What replaces it?”

“Hmm. I dunno. I guess we should think about that.” Horm pauses. “Man, you’re all about skipping to the end today. We’re already planning a new economy. I thought we’d still be trying to figure out if I’m crazy.”

“We are. We’re doing both at once. It’s faster. Also, I’ve been working on my biases. Skipping to the end is one of the techniques I’m trying.”

“Really? How does that help?”

“Well, I reject a lot of ideas without ever thinking about them. Because they sound wrong, I guess? But most of the shit I learned as a kid ended up being wrong, so what the fuck do I know? Maybe I’m rejecting good ideas because my judgement is impaired from growing up in the 80’s.

“So I’ve developed a three step system for when I find an idea that sounds wrong. It’s:

Slow Down - Most of what I know is wrong. I can take a minute to think about a new idea. Judgement doesn’t have to happen in seconds. Skip To The End - What if it was true? What would that mean? How far can I take this idea? Get More Ideas - Google the subject at least once. Ask a few questions. Get a few more ideas on the scene.

“Anyway, I know there are better answers out there, to virtually every problem, because there always is. Hopefully, this will make me less likely to reject them.”

“Hmm, cool.” Horm pauses, thinks. “Okay, now I need an example.”

“Sure. Dopamine is the meaning of life sounds wrong on almost every level. That said, my previous ideas on the meaning of life have problems as well.

“I was raised to believe that obeying God was our purpose, but that got kinda fucked up when I started fucking other girls. Lately I’ve been a utilitarian, believing the purpose of life is to do the most good for the most people. It makes logical sense, and I like it, but I can’t say I’ve accomplished much good, or been very happy because of that.

“Taken to its extreme, your idea suggests we should try for a life of quiet contemplation, with a few good friends and lovers. That actually sounds pretty good. I’d like to try it before I commit to it - maybe do a meta-study on the lifestyle. But yeah, it sounds more fun than anything I’ve tried so far.

“So that’s why I’m open to your first idea. Unfortunately, it is immediately attached to your second plan to destroy the economy. Now we have to start the process again.

“Destroying the economy sounds very much like a crap plan. Then again, keeping it has big problems as well.

“1% of the population owns half of everything. 26 billionaires have more wealth than another 4 billion people put together. 40% of workers believe their own jobs are total bullshit, and contribute nothing to society. Another 40% of jobs are going to be replaced by automation in the next couple years. 25% of people have serious mental distress. And we’re brewing up an environmental disaster that’s on track to be worse than the one that wiped out the dinosaurs.

“Billions of people slaving away at pointless jobs, destroying the planet, just so a handful of rich guys can compete over who’s the richest seems kinda dumb. Maybe we should put a stop to that.

“So we skip ahead! What happens after we destroy the economy? … annnd that’s where we are now.”

“Cool.” says Horm. “I didn’t think your example would be quite so topical. Well done. I have no idea what happens after we destroy the economy.”

“Fair enough.” I nod. “What would you like to happen?”

“I dunno. Some kind of pansexual Star Trek type existence. Without the fighting. Or navy discipline.”

I nod. “Unemployed gay spaceman. Tooling around in a pleasure craft in a post scarcity economy. Yeah, I could get behind that. But, could I interest you in an interim step? Like, what could we pull off next week?”

Horm thinks. “Umm… alright. How about barely employed pansexual homeowner? I spend half my money on shelter and transportation to work. I spend about 50 hours a week at a bullshit job I could do in a few hours. If I could get my house paid off, and only work a few hours a week, most of my stress would vanish.”

I’m confused. “How would you do our job in a few hours a week?”

“Youtube videos, multiple choice exams, and FAQ wiki’s.”

“Well shit, that would do it.” I rub my head. “Surely we could set that up without destroying the economy? Like, move to the country and become Professor Rural Wiki Moderator?”

Horm shakes his head. “It won’t work. The uni admins would fire me for doing my job too well. People could figure out the whole University scam’s obsolete. That the teachers, admin, and curriculum, could easily be replaced by an app.

“It’s obvious, but nobody wants to face it. The students sure don’t. Can’t drink and fuck in an app. Can’t buy a place in the upper class without complicated credentials. And employers need those complicated credentials. Otherwise people may notice they’re staffed by careless, know nothing, fucktards. And customers don’t want to know that. They just want to enjoy their new toy without thinking about the disastrous consequences of its creation.

“None of this operation can withstand the slightest amount of truth. If I proved my job could be done by a webapp, all of society would come crashing down.”

“Well, that seems simple.” I say. “Is that your plan?”

Horm shrugs. “Maybe. Technology has made most non-physical jobs unnecessary, and half the population has made it their life's work to hide that fact. The other half is doing service jobs no one would need if we weren’t wasting our lives pretending to work. Or building houses nobody needs, because most buildings are empty most of the time.

“We should all declare an armistice. Stop pretending we’re working, and just go the fuck home.” He deflates. “But we can’t. Because that would involve talking to other people, and coming to an agreement. And we’ve collectively agreed that we must fix our own problems. Because we’ve collectively agreed that it’s impossible to collectively agree on anything. So instead we’ve let the world slide into a weird Mad-Max Imposter Syndrome Business Attire Semi-Dystopia.”

I finish my sandwich. Think for a bit. It takes me a while to parse Horm’s last statement. I think I got it. Maybe. I better ask some questions. “Is it possible that we’ve built a post scarcity society, and haven’t noticed yet? Kinda like your gay Star Trek idea, minus the spaceships and the gayness?”

“Well, minus the spaceships.” says Horm. “We can keep the gayness.”

“Cool. That’s convenient. Is this, like, an education problem? Can we show people that we’re already a post scarcity economy, and they’ll start acting normal?”

“Maybe. Or maybe we need to go the other way. Let capitalism run out of control until everyone hits rock bottom. Our moment of clarity could be found in desperation.”

“You know, this is starting to sound like a game theory problem.” I say.

“Aww dang.”

“Yeah. We should talk to Hybris.”