《A Hand-Woven Universe》56. Emergence
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The awareness within the plant was also reeling in shock. Noone’s experience had not been a solitary one. During the time that Noone was living through the memories that existed within the plant, the plant could feel his presence through the emotions that were being emanated from him.
It wasn't until that moment though, that the existence realized another awareness had come to inhabit the same conscious space as itself.
Realization had come with no small degree of certainty that the creature it had taken as its core was still alive… and at least somewhat aware. However, to the plant this was of no concern. As far as it cared, there was no need to bother with it. A core was a core. Yet… something to be concerned about was the equilibrium that had been reached.
An unknown amount of time again passed, and darkness reigned in the arena of Noone’s awareness. After experiencing the sudden whiplash caused by the memory of the other plant-like existence, Noone’s soul had returned to the neutral space to reform.
Noone’s awareness grew clearer and came into focus as he recovered. Mental processes were beginning to reform.
Slowly, a subtle shift occurred in the dark space as his soul melded back into one. Colors began to surge all around and his awareness became stretched thin like the surface of lake. On the lake memories began to bubble forth.
Noone saw himself, as a child. He was alone and quiet, unable to talk to anyone. The world around him seemed to be an endless cavern of networking tunnels and mines, all gray silence.
Noone saw Adria, and Liter. He saw Elder Azelle. Much to his surprise a small quiet memory bubbled to the surface… of Stara. Mom.
But just as quickly as they came, they faded out. They were quickly replaced. Now Noone could see himself challenging Adria to a race through the abandoned mines. He was older in this memory. Even though it was from years long past, it rose into his mind as clear as yesterday.
Not just personal memories, other thoughts and images came to the surface. Images of Tapestry. Things he learned from Liter. Books he read.
Memories continued, skimming through years of his life. He saw his attunement test at 14, and the subsequent year in the mines. He watched through several of Porose’s festivals. Pride. The seamstresses.
Not too long after - the memories changed from the familiar look of Tapestry to the moment he jumped from the cliff face down into the clouds beneath. These memories were slower, more intricate and detailed than the ones before. Everything he experienced could be seen.
Thoughts of his experience with his own awareness and unconscious trance state rose like lily pads, floating upon the lake. What had brought him to this place? What led him here?
Noone saw a crystal vision of himself. It was him moments before being wrapped up in roots. He watched as one arm bound became two, and how two arms became an entire body shooting through the stone to a cavernous room above.
Although Noone was pulled into the memories - reliving them and reexperiencing them - he did not lose himself entirely. When the memory of the room that he had last seen surfaced, he paid close attention to every detail. Whatever put him in this state was most likely in that room.
He watched as his life force was drained to the point of death, and Noone could see the last flicker of consciousness drain from his body moments before the roots unbound him.
Strangely, Noone could continue to watch what happened after he lost consciousness. He was sure he should have been dead at this point, and most likely should have been dead. Instead he watched his body take a step forward, and then walk unhesitatingly towards the seed pod in the middle of the cavern.
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Watching his own body act without him left an uneasy feeling in Noone’s chest that he couldn't decipher. Even though he knew it was this action that ended up saving up… It was not normal.
He saw his own hand pierce through the outer flesh of the bulb and become wrapped up in a delicate tendril within the pod, and he watched chaos ensue. Noone grew certain that whatever spark of life that existed within him was on the verge of disappearing forever. He watched carefully, but from the memory he could feel that spark within his own body turn into ember… and that ember… turn to ash.
I died? If Noone had a face to express from in this moment, the expression would most certainly be priceless through the ages. Disbelief? Shock? Confusion? Did a word exist to represent the emotion of seeing one’s own death in post?
No… there must be more than that. Noone continued to scan the memory, but it was quickly fading into the lake of thoughts, and no new ones were surfacing.
Suddenly though, in the corner of his eye Noone saw a thread only a millimeter thick, pierce into his body. He immediately focused in on it, but before he could get a good look, the memory faded. Like the sun setting beneath the ocean’s horizon, his awareness was once again plunged into nothing but darkness.
Noone was unsure how to react to the odd experience. He was still immensely confused at the situation. In another portion of the cave, the other consciousness had begun scanning through the memories which had been pulled from the weird core it adopted. Just as Noone had accidentally transposed himself into its ancestral memory, it too could pull from his soul. After all, Noone had become the core of its rebirth.
Normally, even the most ancient of trees would not do something like this. But the equilibrium left this plant uneasy for its rebirth, and that uneasiness had led to something drastic. Never before seen - the plant had begun to plan.
Unknown to Noone, a scheme was being formed.
If need be, the plant-like existence had no problem waiting through eons for rebirth. It would wait till the end of existence itself, as long as progress was being made, it mattered not how slow. But ever since incorporating Noone into the core, having to maintain itself and the core, progress had stopped.
It had not regressed, but to this existence wanting nothing other than the rebirth promised to it, and having nothing other than instincts to learn from, anything that wasn't progress, would mean death.
Equilibrium in this case, would mean death.
Noone had sat alone for an unknown amount of time attempting to decipher his situation. Not having enough information was leading him nowhere.
Many things bothered him about the experience. Memories tended to become vague as time passed - memories one has of when they are young become cloudier. But what Noone saw when his memories came to the surface, they were clear and unsoiled by time.
A nagging feeling picked at his consciousness, he couldn’t help but feel there was more at play here. However, no matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t think of what it would be. He found that no matter how much he tried to calm himself and wait for something else to occur, it was becoming increasingly difficult not to become annoyed at his own situation.
"I died… I think. And I was swallowed by a plant. But… what happens next?" Noone sighed.
Or… he would have sighed. However, quickly approaching the top of the list of things Noone was annoyed about was that he couldn't feel his body at the moment. He couldn’t feel anything. No sensations crossed his awareness.
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Presumably he was still within the bulb. But he had no clue how much time had passed. For all he knew… his body might not even exist anymore. There were no sensations, and everything merely existed as ethereal to his consciousness.
More time passed, and the only choice he had was to wait. Hopefully, something else would change. Any change would be a good sign.
"I don't want to exist like this…" Noone thought about how much time might have passed and was doing his best to fight the creeping dread of possibility. It seemed like time was moving at a crawl, but really there was no way to know.
As his consciousness drifted aimlessly in the neutral space between his awareness and the awareness of the other existence, gently and without him noticing, he was nudged towards a specific place.
Noone looked towards a black space, equally as blank as the surrounding area. Something about this spot felt different to him. There was something there, he was sure of it.
Floating in front of him in this moment was a perfectly clear flame. It did not flicker, nor did it blaze, it merely existed perfectly still like some concrete fact of this space. As Noone continued to feel it out, he could sense a pull from the invisible fire. There was a weight to it.
Noone quickly retreated and waited. When he saw nothing else happen, he approached the invisible flame again. Noone didn’t feel that the flame was trying to ensnare him. The flame seemed familiar and the warmth was comfortable. Even the weight behind it caused Noone to drop his defenses. It felt so… familiar.
Noone was not an idiot of course, and he wouldn't charge into the flame recklessly. However, the more he thought about his options the more he realized this was the only anomaly he had encountered since the memory show that felt like ages ago.
Thus… to miss this opportunity… Noone braced his consciousness and charged into the flame which burned gently and invisibly in front of him.
Perhaps this was a foolhardy choice, however Noone truly felt any change was better than the hell of nothingness that exists in that neutral space. He grit his teeth as the pull on his awareness suddenly increased before disappearing altogether.
In a moment of confusion, color flooded his awareness. It sent his awareness into a stupefied state, but nothing could brace him for the feeling that occurred immediately after.
To put it into words, Noone felt as though his entire awareness had been stretched like a balloon, inflated to an impossible size.
It took a few moments for this feeling to normalize, and for his conscious thought to rebalance itself in that odd space.
As Noone looked about for a new change, he quickly caught sight of a sphere of color floating beneath him. He gazed upon it carefully and with intense curiosity - feeling the subtle changes occurring within the sphere. Over time, lines of pure color and energy had started extending from the sphere like tentacles. They stretched out into the void seemingly at random.
Noone watched with hesitation, attempting to make any sense from the pattern being formed by the colors. They extended out and up. They crossed. They thinned and thickened, snaking through the void around them. No matter how Noone looked at it, it seemed like gibberish. Noone continued to watch silently. His ethereal mouth pressed into a tight line. Eventually his eyes widened as he watched the odd colors move about.
The space around the sphere began to fill in, and an image began to form.
There were two sets of lines that Noone could interpret now. One set seemed to form the inside of the image. The other set looked to exist exclusively on the surface of it. The difficult part was seeing the image as a whole because of the ungrounded perspective.
But… the longer Noone watched on, the more amazed he became. Although he wasn't sure… the colors that formed the inner lines of the structure starkly resembled what Noone remembered of a vascular system. Such medical studies are things taught out of tradition but not really used in their conclave, so Noone was apprehensive to say he was certain. However, an excitement grew in his chest.
When Noone looked at the lines making up the 'surface' he could now see the very clear outline of a human torso. The lines created strange pattern, like etchings across the flesh. Slowly the whole image filled in.
Noone watched in fascination, somewhere deep inside himself fear began to well up and accompany his excitement. What he was seeing seemed impossible. It was surreal to the extent that his brain was having trouble comparing it… The structure in front of him was that of a human being. From the facial structure Noone could see. It was of him.
Despite being just a consciousness, Noone could feel a headache coming on.
The diagrams and colored lines creating the image of his body in front of him began to slow as it neared completion. From his naval, Noone could see a small thread of light was beginning to form, extending directly out from his body. He recalled the last thing he saw when reliving his last memory, seeing a small root pierce into him.
As he moved closer to analyze the spot, another thread of colored light extended out from him within his vision, and then another. One thread after another began to form as portions of his body became increasingly filled in. Noone saw each thread and light meld seamlessly with the lines forming the image of his body.
It painted a picture of Noone being strung up and pierced through by thousands of needle-like roots.
Although unsure, Noone had a sinking feeling about what state his body was currently in. Given what he remembered about being pierced through by the first thread, the thousands of others left a chill in his spine.
The other existence had grown keen to the movements of Noone’s awareness, it watched silently as his awareness worked to make sense of what he was seeing.
Noone became increasingly irritated by the sight, seeing this representation of his body strung up and lifeless.
I just need to be able to move. I need to move my body. Noone grew restless as he watched helpless. Out of instinct, Noone dived his consciousness into the invisible fire that had become the center of his core. As his awareness closed in on the core of his physical body, his brain began to spark.
Noone felt his awareness dim as he neared the life-force flame. He felt like his consciousness was being dissolved the closer he got. Every distance covered left him feeling more unaware as part of his consciousness dissolved into the fire.
If this is the life force at the core of my body… I should be able to reintegrate myself into it. Right? Although he acted as though he was confident, it was only because he had no other options available. He couldn't survive as a consciousness forever.
There were people waiting for him.
The fire in the core of his being continued to burn seamlessly despite the sudden interference.
It took some time, but eventually his consciousness gradually melded completely into the soul-fire. Like floating through space only to suddenly become bound by gravity, Noone's head throbbed and he felt a violent tear in mind. The life-force burned through his conscious awareness, and like ash in a vent - scattered it throughout the physical form along the newly laid meridians.
When the confusion finally subsided from the shifting perspective, Noone wasted no time to attempt to move. Time continued to pass uninterrupted, but he became increasingly irritated. He had come to realize that moving, by and large, is highly taken-for-granted. Often times movement is handled unconsciously, but he was having to individually kick-start the systems that handled it. After dying… and being dormant for so long - movement was actually fairly difficult.
Although Noone was a patient person in spite of his age, time and isolation can make even a sage lose forsake their vows. So, like anyone in their right minds, the next step he took was well calculated and not at all impulsive.
Like a storm on a calm sea, Noone had thrown all caution to the wind and began to rage within his own physical mind. If his mind were a room, filled with various priceless antiques and endless books, Noone was currently releasing his stress with a mental hammer. He had decided to rely on sheer force of will as the time-tested and approved stratagem.
"Just give me something!" He shouted helplessly to not much effect. Noone’s teeth were clenched so tight that if he had access to his body, he would be in danger of breaking his jaw.
He raged on unabated, and eventually the gods took pity on his plight and a subtle ripple spread from his eyelashes. Noone froze, determining whether something had actually occurred.
"No… I'm sure my eyelids just shuttered." Like a dam with a small leak, time and friction began to wear down on the mental block separating him from his body. Noone's hand clenched into a fist. Energy swirled and floated out of the way and Noone excitedly continued to fight for control.
His fingers and hands became more dexterous as he flexed them. His toes spread apart slightly, and his muscles began to flex under his urgings. It became easier as things went on, the functions of his physical body were quickly being picked up by whatever part of his unconscious mind took care of them.
Noone’s control of his body finally peaked when his eyes opened fully. He was blinded by the energy swirling all around him and excitement began to take over. His heart - under its own control - began to beat faster in response.
His excitement suddenly turned to abject horror though, as the last systems to start working left Noone in a terrible predicament. His lungs and diaphragm both flexed at the same moment, drawing in the liquid around him.
Burning ensued as the air starved body began to choke on the liquid completely out of conscious control. Energy or not, Noone still needed to breathe air. Noone’s entire being shook and he unconsciously brought his arms up to his mouth. In the process, thousands of thread thin life support roots connected to the plant were painfully ripped from his flesh and veins.
Fighting the influx of pain, Noone’s heart sank as he tried to calm his instinct to breathe. Like any drowning person, he immediately began to kick and flail against the liquid, trying to rise above it and reach air.
Before he could make any progress though, the liquid he was submerged in suddenly began to fall with him in it. Noone could feel the rush of air against his wet skin and he gasped a heavenly breath as soon as the liquid was gone from his lips. He didn't even mind the sudden thud as his body crashed against the wet floor of the cavern.
Rolling over on his back and heaving a violent breath, he stared up into what used to be the pod he was contained in. The spherical form it held before was now nothing more than the formless shape of petals hanging down like wet rags. Even the colors which looked magnificent and beautiful were quickly beginning to lose their luminescence.
The sudden shock to the plant upon losing its core and all energy it had along with it, seemed to be too much for the plant-like existence.
Noone's breathing was slowly returning to normal. His lungs and diaphragm still burned with the raw liquid energy that flooded them initially, but it was being dispelled and vaporized with each breath.
His body too was dispelling energy through his pores. The thousands of thread-like roots which had reformed his atrophied meridians and vascular system left microscopic holes in his flesh which was allowing the excess energy in his body to dissipate.
Over the span of a day he would heal to the point that he wouldn’t even notice his sore flesh.
His heart beat strong and the clear fire of his life-force burned solidly within his core. As he laid there staring up at the darkening cavern, Noone doubted whether he was really alive. However, when he thought back to what he had gone through, he felt as though however lucky he may be, it must have come at a cost…
Finally, he stood up, and unexpectedly he didn't feel shaky in the slightest. Despite not moving for Ancestor knows how long, he did not feel any stiffness in his muscles. Noone looked down at the palms of his hands, they were invariably the same as they had been before being absorbed by the plant.
He poked and prodded his own skin. He stuck out his tongue and poked at his ears. Noone was relieved to see that his body was still human. Flesh and bone from what he could tell. Noone was tempted to bite into his thumb to see about his blood. But he chose to withhold that for now.
He was just happy to be alive, he decided. Everything else would come second.
Noone walked over to the hole in the cavern that had been made when he was brought to the room the first time. It was just wide enough that he should be able to go down it safely back to his pack.
Noone took one last look at the withered and dead plant form that had maintained his body.
Conflicting feelings rose up within him. He was unsure how to feel about the whole experience. On one hand, it had killed him. But… it had also saved him, in a way… Even if it was trying to make a core out of him. And then there was that memory…
Noone merely shook his head. What happened, happened. Thinking about it now most likely would not yield any usable answers, so he put it aside. Looking away, he sat on the edge of the hole before lowering his body into it and shimmying down from the cavern.
Unknown to him, the petals which hung lifeless from the former pod began to disintegrate just as he looked away the final time. Not just the petals - but the entire plant began to disappear - absorbing into itself. An impossibly small thread still connected to the base of Noone’s neck was on the verge of snapping off, but before it could the plant's energy was transferred into it.
"I must… be… reborn…"
If Noone were able to see the flame which burned in his core, the life force which flooded through his body. He would see that the formerly invisible clear flame, now was hued with three colors.
Blue.
Pink.
Green.
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