《A Hand-Woven Universe》47. Out of Body
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In his thoughts he tried to replicate the feeling of climbing. The feeling of stone pressed roughly against his palms. How the small cracks in the stone would rub against his fingertips.
When he would plant his feet against the side, lifting one hand up to reach a higher hold, the muscles in his body would shift across his abdomen, tensing and flexing, compensating for the changing center of gravity.
He thought of the feeling of his muscles burning and straining against his weight.
Slowly his mind began to become fully integrated into the memories and the feelings. He could feel every movement as though he were actually climbing the cliff again. He became so absorbed by the thoughts as he sat there that the twitching of his muscles could be seen under his flesh.
There was a realness to it that he wasn't expecting. At first the feelings were vague, but the more he thought about it, the more his visualization filled in.
The feeling of wind blowing across his body, the gentle sea mist drifting up from the ocean below. Even the pressure that would build up before the sun set. It became increasingly real in his thoughts.
As he continued, the route he was seeing became increasingly familiar.
Another day passed - both in his mind and outside in the real world. The sun had risen and set but Noone didn’t even notice. In his mind he was still climbing unceasingly. The pieces of the world in his thoughts were continually filled in and Noone’s conscious was completely focused on making his movements as efficient as possible. In that moment Noone had completely lost sight of why he was doing this in the first place. He only reveled in the feeling of his body being lost to the flow.
There were things like whispers, floating through his thoughts and telling him how to move. It left a very comfortable feeling behind like a cool rush of power to his muscles. It was as though he had someone guiding him to make all the right moves.
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Over the next few hours, his speed increased drastically as he continued to give himself over to the feeling. The time between him feeling out the next movement and the visualization of his body complying became increasingly smaller. Eventually, there was no delay. No conscious thought interrupted his movements. Only endless movement.
Another day passed in the outside world. Noone’s body was now completely frozen.
Noone still sat on the edge of the cliff facing the horizon. His posture had not changed, still sitting cross legged with his back straight and his breathing steady. Something that had occurred though, was the tenseness in his back had completely disappeared. Instead it was replaced by a subtle twitching of muscles across his whole body.
His fingers twitched subtly, and his forearms would lightly flex. In his mind he still climbed the cliff attempting to get in touch with whatever instincts he was tapping in to.
Night began to fall on the third day.
In Noone’s mind, the images around him were clear and indistinguishable between memories and reality. He didn't think about this though. He didn't think about anything. He only climbed.
Even more so than before, he felt that these movements were extremely familiar, like an extreme case of déjà vu.
His fingers gripped the edge of a shelf just as the sun was closing in on the horizon.
With a swift movement his feet were swung over the side and he stood up steadily. His breathing was not rushed or hurried, despite the physical exertion. Although this was all happening in his mind, he did not think believe that was the reason for his good condition.
In front of him now was the familiar outcropping in the shelf. The sun was approaching the cloud-line and would soon set.
A gentle pressure passed through his thoughts, encouraging him forward. He took a step towards the edge of the shelf, and the pressure began to build up in the air around him. He calmly walked towards the edge and sat down. His legs were crossed, and his back was straight.
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The air around him seemed to condense, making his body weigh an incredible amount. Even sitting on the edge became troublesome.
It became harder and harder for his body to move, and at an even faster pace the air condensed around him.
He looked towards the horizon, waiting for the sun to show itself.
Not just the air, but even the light around him seemed to be curving slightly towards his body. It was an impossible to describe feeling, but he felt as though the world - in its entirety - was beginning to circle him.
He took a deep breath, fighting against the weight of the world. His lungs and diaphragm expanded, and the pressure built up, threatening to suffocate him.
Suddenly, the world lit up and the sun on the horizon spilt past the clouds like liquid. The rays of light flooded towards Noone becoming an unstoppable force threatening to overtake him entirely.
Noone closed his eyes, and with purpose he opened his mouth - breathing out every ounce of breath he had in him.
The world went dark.
In the real world, Noone's eyes opened in time to see the sun crossing down past the ocean.
His breathing was steady, but his whole body was covered in sweat. His muscles twitched uselessly, and every inch of his body felt incredibly sore. It was almost an unbelievable feeling.
It wasn't until he opened his eyes that he noticed… he had been climbing in his mind, to the exact spot he was sitting in.
"Wow." Noone breathed, a soft chuckle escaping helplessly.
Noone exhaled a deep breath and laid back, allowing his body to completely relax for the first time in days. The cool stone shelf felt good on his back.
"Just… Wow." A smile crept onto his face. If he had more energy, he wouldn’t want to waste any more time and start climbing immediately. If he wasn't so exhausted, his laughter would be able to be heard up and down the cliff face. However, as things stood, he merely managed a quiet chuckle.
"I understand." He smiled, and his eyes locked onto a spot ten of thousands of meters above him against the cliff face. In the last moment before his consciousness returned to his body – he had managed to grasp onto the feeling of something existing there.
When he would slip into his trances, he had always been able to feel the small tug on the back of his mind – like a light thread attached to his clothes being pulled at. Like something inside of him was desperately straining and reaching out for something. For the first time in his life, he got a small glimpse that told him… there really was something there that he was being drawn to.
For some reason and against all precedence, Noone’s body had been born unable to feel the energy of the universe. He had been born attune-less.
But I still have the Common Heritage of the Ancestor flowing through my veins. Noone’s eyes shone with a harsh glint as a smile painted his face.
For the first time, he felt like maybe there was something meant for him? Something that worked only with someone free from attunements?
Despite his growing excitement, he could only restrain his thoughts.
When a person desperately wants something… they are much more likely to come to the wrong conclusions, just to believe something that validates their feelings. He reminded.
He took a deep breath.
"That's not me." He said aloud. "If there really is something special about me, so be it. If there is not, I will be fine with that too."
Strong like a stone, soft like a stream.
He knew that no matter what, he must not forget that or get carried away.
Knowing that though, he still couldn't stop himself from staring up at a certain point on the cliffside.
It was a lot less clear to his senses now, but he could still feel it, vaguely.
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