《A Hand-Woven Universe》46. Three Days
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"Why do you cross your legs like this?" A young Noone was sat next to the elder mimicking him and sitting with his legs crossed over each other. His back was straight, and he squirmed slightly - unable to get comfortable.
"Because it's uncomfortable." He opened an eye and watched Noone try and mimic him, barely managing to suppress his smile.
Noone just stared at Elder Azelle, his face screwed up in distaste. This whole time he assumed the elder knew something he didn't about it, some way that made it more comfortable.
"Then why do you sit like this?" His young voice made known his feelings of betrayal. The elder finally smiled when he heard this.
"In life, many things are uncomfortable Noone." He took a deep breath and uncrossed his legs, laying back on the ground unceremoniously.
"However, when the wind blows, do the clouds feel uncomfortable? When the rain falls, do the trees feel uncomfortable? Do they feel joy?" Elder Azelle's eyes were closed and his voice trailed off. Noone stared at the elder now laying on the ground before mimicking him.
"For us with attunements, we attempt to become one with the universe. And for me, that means becoming uncaring whether I am comfortable or uncomfortable. So, when I sit like that, and I stop thinking about whether how I am sitting is comfortable, that is what allows me to take the first step into understanding the universe." Elder Azelle paused for a moment, lost in his own memories of his ancestor.
"However," he continued, "this is just me. Other people have their own ideas. If I wanted to, I am sure I could still gain a lot from laying here as I am. Just drifting off…" His voice seemed to echo impossibly through the chamber as he laid there. Noone thought about what he said.
"And the breathing...?" Noone asked quietly.
"Hmm. How should I explain it…?" The elder considered his words carefully. He knew that since Noone was unattuned he couldn't just show him, so he took his time attempting to find the right words.
"I suppose you could say it is for structure. It focuses my mind and simultaneously gives me a chance to tap into the flow of the world…" Elder Azelle frowned slightly, unsatisfied with his own explanation. But he was at a loss of how exactly to explain it.
"Mm." Noone merely nodded his head, letting it drop.
…
Now sitting on the edge of cliff face waiting for the sun to set, Noone breathed in a deep breath and crossed his legs. His back was straight, taut with muscles like iron cables. A breath like fire escaped out his mouth and he closed his eyes, shutting his gaze from the horizon.
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The sun like the spark of a giant's fire sunk down, it's light piercing into the world between the clouds and the sea causing Noone's body to become bathed in the yellow-orange light. The sun's rays bounced between the surface of the ocean and off from the stark white clouds above.
Although Noone wasn't looking out at it, he had seen the same scene every day since arriving through the bottom of the cloud layer. He could picture the way the sun dipped below the clouds, like a giant sun-stone. How it would gradually lower towards the ocean. The light wouldn't actually dim though until it was at least half-set. The reflection of the water seemed to cause the sun to remain whole, like an infinite mirror.
It truly was a striking sight. Even with his eyes closed, the light bounced against his eyelids flooding his mind with dim and fluid colors.
Noone thought back to the final three months of his time spent in the mines. No food, rarely sleeping, carving his way around the outer edge of Tapestry.
When he thought back to the little moments between mining and resting, he realized at some point that there was something inside of him pushing him further and harder. This "something" craved the feeling of pushing his body and breaking down and rebuilding his muscles.
This was how he experienced such explosive growth during this period.
In the mines, during the first nine months, he would slip in and out of this trance. It was weak and placid and something which he couldn't really tap into unless he was specifically not thinking about it.
It was a delicate balance.
However, all at once like breaking through a shackle inside of himself, the part of his mind that would trigger these trances took over in the final three months - when he had just begun a new mine-shaft.
It passed by as a blur for him. Up until he was knocked out of the trance by the presence of Tommy and Co. Although he didn't have much time to think about it then with everything that happened afterwards.
Ever since starting his climb on the cliff though, he had become much more aware of this portion of his thoughts. It was always there – waiting to take over and draw him into that mindless trance. When it occurred, his entire body became lighter and his movements would quicken. No matter what was ahead, it appeared to him that his body instinctually knew what to do and where to go.
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Noone himself was vaguely conscious and aware in these moments, unlike his time in the mines. Although the feeling of the trance was stronger here, it was also exceedingly easy to slip out of.
Specifically, when he would think about how dangerous his situation was. As soon as a single thought about his situation floated up in his mind, the trance would be broken.
It was these abrupt shifts in mindset that let Noone know there really was something there and it wasn’t just in his head. Something in his mind was drawing him - changing him.
It wasn't until a night before, when he had over exerted himself, that he found a way to almost trigger the trance. He had climbed an extremely precarious portion of cliff that left him winded and breathing harshly.
When trying to steady his breathing, the sun had begun its descent through the clouds. His breath slowed as he watched the clouds move, the sea flow, the waves beneath. Everything.
Maybe it was the exhaustion making it too hard to think, but Noone felt his brain go a bit numb as he continued to watch the sun set. His breathing steadied into a consistent rhythm, when the sun hit the ocean on the horizon, he felt his mind dull even further. His consciousness began to sink down, like being submerged in the most comfortable water. Before he knew it, the sun disappeared beneath the horizon, but his body began to climb out of his control.
Impossibly fast - it was like his body reacted to everything around him despite the darkness, never making a wrong movement. This wasn't like the trances that he had been in before - instead he felt a presence pulling him up.
He climbed through the night and made more progress than he thought was possible. In the following day, his body was sore to a painful degree. The idea of pushing himself to climb even further left him groaning. However, he was also excited.
So, when he stopped next to cure the bird meat, he decided there and then that he would figure out how to harness this energy inside of him.
He sat silently bathing in the light of the sun set. His breath was deep and steady, his body sitting up and his legs crossed. After a moment of adjusting, he chose to merely sit there.
Thoughts stirred in his mind and he quietly pushed them to the side.
Or, he tried to. It was much harder said than done.
Noone had always tried to stay in motion. Doing something, anything. As long as he was not doing nothing. Now though, he sat silently – alone at the edge of the world patiently clearing his thoughts.
His mind was a sea of memories. Of histories long past, and recent events. He thought about everything he had ever heard from Elder Azelle about sensing attunements. Noone held no hope for this strange feeling to be an attunement, however he was not a fool either. He could see similarities which excited him.
This excitement made it harder for him to calm down.
Thinking about not thinking - it turned out - was still thinking.
However, he didn't give up and continued to sit there patiently. Eventually the colors of the world in between the clouds and the sea dimmed into black. The cool air of night came, and the sun finally passed the horizon.
Elder Azelle has centuries of experience calming his mind… I must be patient with myself. Noone reminded as the time ticked by. Even knowing that though, he had some expectations for himself. Three days – if I can’t sense anything within three days, I will give up… for now.
It wasn't like Noone had nothing to work with. He had slipped in and out of the trance more than enough times to have a vague feeling for it. However, that had always been when he was moving… never when he was fully conscious of it. It felt like the difference between having a leaf fall on you of its own accord, and trying to catch a falling leaf in midair. The more he attempted to grasp it – the more the feeling slipped from his grasp.
Noone was silent, letting the time tick by endlessly joined only by the sound of his mind counting his breaths. Eventually this too became quiet. When he worked in the mines, his mind would become completely focused on one thing. Swinging the pick. Pulling the carts. Moving the stone. And when climbing… it was very similar. There was no room for extraneous thought.
I just need to get rid of the unnecessary thoughts in between me and it. A confident smile played on his lips.
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