Rather than taking a direct route up through Cirros, we decided to try and avoid the city whose ruler we’d recently slain and travel along the riverways. Dorsia and Stone concocted a plan for us to travel as merchants hauling goods. Dorsia played the role of head merchant, donning simple travel clothes and keeping only a small dagger at her side, Stone was our wizened guide wearing an old worn cloak and boots, Jade and Hrig were haulers wearing heavy cloaks to hide their obvious tattoos, and Kyren was Dorsia’s apprentice having exchanged her white robes for a simple tunic and boots. I myself played a role I was sure they envied, a part of the goods. I had disassembled myself and been placed in a crate. My companions left the lid open and talked to me when they could, but the small river vessels made that difficult.

Aside from myself we were also hauling twenty steel bars I’d volunteered, the weapons I’d collected over my travels, and several crates of turnips. Stone and Dorsia had spent an hour arguing about what goods to purchase that they’d most likely see a return on, and then they’d haggled with the farmer they were buying from for a further half hour.

“Why does it matter if we’re only using it as cover?” I’d asked.

Dorsia and Stone had both regarded me with offended looks at the question before Stone responded. “It’s a matter of principle!”

And Dorsia added, “Also, what kind of trader doesn’t do their best to make a profit. It would be suspicious if we didn’t put this kind of effort in.”

I’d relented, but I still felt like they’d simply wanted the excuse to make a few extra silver.

At the third river transfer we were approached by several men in armor bearing the symbol of Caedun on their chest. The shortest one approached.

“Hail, we’re performing searches on any cargo passing through here. We’ll need to inspect what you’ve got and ask a few questions.”

Dorsia sighed. “C’mon Ser, I don’t have a lot of time to get to the next raft.”

“Sorry ma’am, rules are rules.”

“Fine, let’s get through this quick. Daph, Dai, open the crates so they can search them. What are your questions?”

“Alright, why are you travelling upriver like this instead of going through Cirros?”

“Taxes have been too high lately, trying a more roundabout route to Buryn.”

The man grimaced. “Well, that’s not illegal, but I wish you’d consider the good those taxes would do for the war effort.”

“War doesn’t keep my family fed Ser.”

He sighed. “Well, that also covers where you’re headed. Have you seen a man in fullplate, roughly six feet tall, never takes off his helmet?”

“You talking about the monster that attacked the king?”

He nodded.

“No Ser. Saw some adventurers we bought some gear off of, but no one in full plate.”

One of the men searching the crates stopped at mine. He reached in and pulled out my helmet. He turned it over in his hands a few times and I got an up close look at yellow teeth and patchy facial hair. It took serious willpower, but I managed to not say boo. Once he was satisfied he placed me back in the crate and went on to the next one.

After a few more questions the guards finished searching everything and left. Unfortunately they’d taken just enough time to cost us our river transport so we were forced to spend the rest of the day finding a new one. Still, it would’ve cost us a lot more time had we been discovered so I didn’t complain.

We arrived at the small central Caedun town of Dulhin late the following afternoon. Dulhin was to the west and a bit north of Cirros. It existed primarily as an interior dock for river boats and it’s main economy was in the building and repairing of those boats, at least on the surface. The other reason it existed was as an alternate port that could be used to avoid taxes in Cirros and Buryn if one wanted to take things directly to the capital. It also attracted a fair number of smugglers trying to avoid the costly business of dealing with the underworld elements that controlled the ports in Buryn and Cirros. That led to a certain odd mixture of people. There were the honest boatmen making their way, and the less than honest smugglers. They seemed to keep to themselves and I observed pockets of both groups doing their best to avoid one another as I peered from the crate in which I’d been stored.

Once our crates were stored in a small warehouse at the dock, Hrig was nice enough to strap me behind her right shoulder next to her axe so I could accompany them to the tavern. There were two taverns in the town. One called simply ‘The Raft’ and the other, ‘The Drowned rat'. Due to the preferences of everyone, including Kyren, we of course found ourselves in the much seedier ‘Drowned Rat’. It was a dingy place with a sign that showed a mug with a rat tail dangling over the rim. The clientele matched the exterior. Scoundrels of all types played cards, bet on a wrestling match in the corner, and gave off an overall impression of ‘we will stab you for three copper’.

It took the group only about two drinks to completely shift that attitude though. First Hrig took me over to the wrestling match. The men fighting were an elf and a clean shaven dwarf. The elf had reach, but the dwarf was incredibly stable. It was going in the elf’s favor for a minute as he struck and danced out of the dwarf’s reach, but once the dwarf got him to the ground it was over in seconds. Hrig and Jade of course had to take part themselves, and so I found myself placed in the care of Kyren at the bar.

Kyren began her usual drinking and soon found herself the subject of the other drunks attention.

“All that ale for you little lass?” asked one of them leaning close, and gesturing toward the three mugs in front of her.

She gave a small smile. “Since no one else seems to be a competent drinker, I thought I’d lead by example.”

He whistled. “Care to have a little competition.”

“Drink till one of us pukes or collapses and the other pays for what we had?”

He raised an eyebrow. “How’d you know?”

She raised a mug and held it casually in her hand. “I had a feeling.”

After that I was taken by Stone who dragged me to a table he was sharing with a few other older men.

“And this is the reason for all the trouble,” he said, placing me at the center of the table facing a dwarf with white hair smoking on a long stemmed pipe.

“This helmet?”

“That’s right. This is what was causing all the trouble in my marriage. It’s a special helmet you see. A fey gave it a touch o’ mischief, and so it likes to sow a little discord whenever it can. Somehow it actually found its way into the wall of my house, and whenever me or my wife passed it, it would make a snide little comment in one of our voices. ‘It’d be nice of you to cook for a change’ or ‘that apron gives you the arse of an orc’ it almost brought us to ruin before we figured it out”

The pipe smoking man shook his head. “I don’t believe ya.”

“An idiot like you wouldn’t” I said, and he nearly fell from his chair in surprise.

“I told you,” said Stone, staring at the man with a wide grin.

The man picked himself up, brushing the ashes from his pipe out of his beard. “Can it speak beyond insults?”

“Nope, just curses.”

I sent a foul oath in dwarvish in Stone’s direction, one I’d lifed from Burias the orc, and I was satisfied to see even Stone blushing a bit by the time I’d finished it.

I traded a few more barbs at the table until Dorsia decided to scoop me up and take me to her card game.

“I’ll throw in this helmet,” she said, tossing me into the middle.

One of the men at the table, a man wearing glasses, lifted me, turned me around and gave a solid knock on my head.

“Steel eh? Alright, deal. I hope you're ready to lose this though. Luck hasn’t exactly been on your side since you sat at this table.”

Dorsia smiled and sat back down, eyeing her hand. It was a game of dead kings, with one live one on the table and three down. I could see everyone's hand, and I realized very quickly that Dorsia’s ability to sense a person's strength applied to card games as well. She’d led them on, clearly with the intention of leading them to believe that she was a poor helpless tradeswoman with little talent at playing cards, and even less luck. After a few more raises, the pot was substantial, particularly when including my own pricelessness. The man to Dorsia’s left laid down his hand first, and then they each followed from his left, with a sharp intake of breath when the man wearing glasses laid his hand down, and gave a smile.

On Dorsia’s turn she sighed heavily, before laying down her cards one by one. With each card she placed I watched the bespectacled man’s smile shrink and shrink as he’s eyes bulged more and more.

“I believe this will take the pot gentlemen.”

The man stood, drawing the dagger at his belt. “You cheating wench!” He lunged at her.

Just before he made it across the table, she lifted me and I found myself slammed across his face. I was satisfied to see that using me made the man twirl off the table and onto the ground, a few fewer teeth than he’d started his night with.

The rest of the bar stopped what they were doing for a moment while another man from the table took the bespectacled man’s pulse and gave a thumbs up, returning everyone to their reverie. From there I was picked up by Hrig who had a few fresh bruises. She placed me back on her shoulder.

“How’d you do?” I whispered.

“Me and Jade won of course, but we had a bit of trouble with each other. Even without those runes of hers, the woman hits like a brick and hitting her feels like punching a wall.”

“Which of you won?”

“Neither, but Jade would probably tell you she did.”

“You seem a little defensive.”

Some color made its way to her cheeks. “I’m not! We just disagree on what a victory is.”

When we made it to the bar Kyren was sitting surrounded by men that seemed willing to kill themselves on alcohol to beat her. She herself was wearing her small smile. I hadn’t been able to figure it out before I’d eaten Rubrus, but I finally realized how she did it. She was using a spell that cured poison on a low level all throughout her body. I had a feeling she didn’t need to use it to beat one or two drunks, but when she got the attention of several it seemed like a smart way to keep her victory going.

Everyone wrapped up their encounters and shared a drink at the bar before we headed up to the room. Hrig laid me on a pillow next to hers and before long everyone was out sleeping. I wasn’t sure what to expect once we reached the capital, but I hope that whatever happened we’d still be able to have time like this. I knew that that was unlikely, attacking a king to prevent the arrival of a forgotten god didn’t seem like the type of thing that people got to have normal lives after, but maybe we’d get lucky. It was possible that the lives of adventurers were a bit easier to maintain after something like that.