On our walk back to my house, we hear the scuffle of fighting and what appears to be a child yelling.

We look at each other in shock and sprint toward the location of the sound, an incomplete wooden house with some walls already built.

As we round the corner, hearts racing, a giant horned, furry form flings off into the distance, flattened like a pancake. Strangely, there’s no blood.

Following the arc back from the furry pancake, I note a small, sandy blonde haired boy wearing a red towel wrapped around his neck like a cape and a black sleeping mask with holes cut out for the eyes.

He’s holding a giant wooden mallet, bigger than his body, mid swing against another of the creatures. ‘Inspect.’

Ramster

Traits: High speed, acceleration

Description: This hamster has grown to a massive size and is capable of massively accelerating its speed to ram into its prey. After stunning its prey, it uses its vicious incisors to tear away flesh and sinew.

“Stay back, citizens! These villains won’t last long against me!” The child strikes a pose, hands on hips and all, his towel-cape flaps in the wind.

My heart sinks until I realize the child is actually winning. I decide to entertain him and watch for now. I’ll step in if he seems to be in trouble. These monsters seem fairly low level anyway.

“BLAM!” His hammer slams into the ramster, flattening it like a pancake once again. Like in old comic books, a red and yellow pop art of the word “BLAM!” actually flies out from the ramster as it takes the hit.

Another ramster charges him from behind, but he is somehow alerted to it. Reaching behind himself, he throws a flat, black disc onto the ground, puts away his massive hammer behind his towel-cape, and dives into it.

The ramster seems confused as to where its target went until a hole opens up above it and an anvil falls out, crushing the enlarged rodent.

The kid falls out of the hole, landing on the ground lightly. Looking in his hand, my eyes widen in shock. ‘Is that dynamite?’

The child is actually holding a lit stick of dynamite. He throws it at the last ram but it bunts the stick away and it explodes behind the ramster. The ramster then slams into the kid. He smashes into the wall of the unfinished house, flattening against it with a “KAPOW!” pop art flying out.

Moving in, I slam the last ramster with Argo, finishing it instantly.

Ramster defeated! 12 XP awarded!

Ramster dropped: 18 Sparks

The child’s hand pops off the wall, peeling him off of it. He slowly drifts to the ground, somehow almost two-dimensionally flat. He pokes his thumb into his mouth and blows, reinflating to his normal size.

“Awww man, I had that last one. You’re no fun.” The kid pouts at me.

The three of us are simply looking at the kid in shock. “How did you just do… literally any of that?” Becky indicates to the flattened monster pancakes as the kid walks around collecting the small amount of currency dropped by the ramsters.

The kid ignores her, scrounging the rest of his money drops into his pockets.

Adreanell smiles and flicks a finger, causing all the Sparks to gather into a pile for the kid. She walks up to him and knees down to reach head height with him.

“Hey there, my name’s Adreanell, what's yours?” She smiles disarmingly at him.

The kid adjusts his mask and cape, posing. “My name? They call me… The Cartoonist!” Actual rays of colored light and confetti come with fanfare at his pose.

“Why are you all alone out here Cartoonist? Is there someone who would be looking for you?” Adreanell frowns a bit, likely realizing that this kid could be lacking parents.

The awkward shuffling accompanied by the kid refusing to meet Adreanell’s eyes as he answers “Noooo?” tells me that this is not the case.

“How about we go find your parents, Cartoonist? I’ll show you a cool trick if you say yes.”

The kid deeply contemplates for a moment before nodding. “Okay, can I see the trick now?”

Adreanell laughs and stands up, dusting off her knees quickly. She flicks her wrists and suddenly there’s a coin between each of her fingers in a closed fist.

With several more flicks of her wrist, coins are levitating in the air in front of the kid. There’s a look of deep concentration on Adreanell’s face but the coins slowly slide into the same size and shape as the kid, simply two-dimensional.

The Cartoonist stares at the coin-mirror of himself. He moves an arm and the coin self follows. He does a few small motions before becoming more complex. After about a minute, the coins fly back into Adreanell’s vault, her face dripping sweat from the exertion.

The kid seems sad that the demonstration is over, but nods when Adreanell tells him it’s time to find his parents.

While we’re walking, I eye the kid. “So, do you mind me asking where you got that mallet, the anvil, and the dynamite? Is that some kind of storage Perk?” The anvil had faded to sparks of mana similar to how the water from Crashing Wake disappears over time.

He grins at me. “I don’t know what a storage perk is, but the one I used is called Hammerspace!” To demonstrate, he pulls out the giant wooden mallet from behind his cape once more.

“Oh, well, a storage perk is something you can store things inside. Here, watch.” Sifting through my Personal Hold, I pull out one of the lightshaft crystals I got from a monster during the initial fallout from defeating Brandon.

Handing it to him, he immediately figures out how to make the crystal produce light with a mana input. ‘Smart kid.’

“How about you keep that one, a hero needs tools, right? Do you see what I mean about a storage perk now though? I can store items inside myself.”

He smiles, inspecting the cylindrical teal crystal. “I guess so. Hammerspace doesn’t work like that though. I can just pull things out of it like in the cartoons!” He demonstrates once more by pulling out a lit stick of dynamite.

My pulse rapidly jumps as I worry about the child handling a stick of dynamite. Snatching it out of his hands, I throw it on to a patch of clear land. It explodes but strangely causes no damage to the ground, simply leaving a circular explosion patch on the ground.

‘It really is just like in cartoons.’

“So uh, be careful about where you pull dynamite out, okay, uh, Cartoonist?”

The kid gives me a look like I’m a nagging parent. “Okayyyy…”

“So, I have another question for you, Cartoonist. I saw you flatten into a wall when you got hit, and the same happens to those ramsters you… defeated. How? Is that another one of your Perks? Or a Skill?”

“It’s a Perk! Cartoon Body! My body works like in the cartoons! It’s really funny, some things don’t even hurt!” He giggles, pulling his own skin to show a strange elasticity to it.

“You watch a lot of Looney Tunes, huh?” Recognizing the source of inspiration for this child in the same shows I watched when I was a kid, I grin at him.

“Yeah! My parents have ALL the VHS’s! I even know what a VHS is, most kids my age don’t!” He looks extremely proud of that fact, making me chuckle.

“Well, that’s very good! You must know a lot of things!” Adreanell turns back from her conversation with Becky, addressing the kid. Becky’s face is a mask of relief.

“I guess, but I’m glad my school disa- disimgrat- disimta-”

“Disintegrated?” Giving the kid an out, he smiles at me.

“Yeah, that word! School was boring! Being a superhero is fun!” He flaps his arms excitedly in a mockery of punches.

Refocusing on the task at hand, I stop distracting myself with my curiosity about his Skills and Perks. They do give me perspective on just how abstract a Talent, Skill, or Perk can be though. “Do you know where your parents might be, Cartoonist? By the way, old are you?”

“Um, maybe. I’m 8! Hey mister, can I tell you a secret? You gotta keep it a secret though.” He looks slyly at me, glancing around for any would-be eavesdroppers.

“Sure. I can keep a secret. Let’s hear it.” Leaning in close, he cups his hands around my ear to whisper to me.

“POW!” My body goes flying, compressing strangely as The Cartoonist makes a break for it. Slowly, I feel myself drifting to the ground. Attempting to move my arm, I stick my thumb in my mouth and blow. My body reinflates, it’s a horrible feeling.

“You little shit.” Becky and Adreanell are already chasing after the fleeing child, so I go into a sprint to catch up.

With my heightened stats, I reach them quickly. The kid is approaching a house, so he throws out another black disc which sticks to the wall immediately and he jumps through the hole.

Diving through it myself, my face slams into a flat surface. Seeing stars, I shake my head and slap my cheeks to refocus. “Ow. Note to self, I can’t go through those.”

Finding Adreanell and Becky once again, they’re using Skills now. Strands of hair are flying at the kid to grab him, but his Cartoon Body allows him to literally noodle arm and slip out of the the bindings.

Walls of coins surround the kid but he’s strong enough to smash through them with his mallet.

He’s teasing us, blowing a raspberry before his face turns sheet white, seeing something behind us. “Charles Alexander Baker, just what do you think you’re doing?”

A sandy blonde haired woman approaches from behind us, face a cold mask of anger.

“T-t-the Cartoonist… d-doesn’t recognize y-you, citizen! Y-you must have t-the wrong p-person!” The kid is looking left and right.

As he turns to run once more, his mom starts counting. “ONE…”

The kid takes one more step. “TWO…”

He turns back around and sulks over to his mother. As he reaches his mom, she begins to cry and pulls him close.

“I was so worried when I couldn’t find you, Charlie!” She sobs and squeezes him tighter.

“I’m sorry momma, I just wanted to be a superhero…” Charlie’s eyes begin to well with tears.

“You can be a superhero with proper, adult supervision next time.” She chastises him, but can’t keep the relief off of her face.

“Am I in trouble, momma?” He sniffles.

She nods slowly, face firmly set. “Yes, you are young man.”

She turns to us. “And do I have you people to thank for keeping my son safe?”

Grinning, I meet eyes with the kid. “The Cartoonist here mostly handled himself, we were just looking for you when he made a break for it.” Excluding the part about the kid slamming me with a mallet, I save him from further punishment.

His expression is one of silent thanks. She stands up and dusts herself off, wiping tears away from her eyes and grabs Charlie’s hand in hers.

“Well, thank you for everything you’ve done. Wait, you’re the Heroes of Portland, aren’t you?” Her expression shifts to one of slight reverence and shock.

Scratching the back of my head, I laugh awkwardly. “I guess we are.”

Her eyes fill with tears once more. “Thank you… for everything.”

“No thanks needed, ma’am.” Adreanell smiles at her.

“I’ll take thanks in the form of food.” Becky grins.

Glaring at Becky, I turn back to the mother. “So, miss, um…” Glancing around as if it will help, I realize I haven’t learned her name yet.

“Melinda. You can call me Melinda.”

“Melinda. Can I ask you a quick question about Charlie here? It’s just out of curiosity.”

“Sure. What’s the question?”

“How does he handle stat points? I worry about kids putting stat points in bad stats. Too much of any stat without ones to balance it can be dangerous.”

“Oh, there’s a Parental Controls setting in The Construct. He needs the approval of me or his father to set any stats or change his settings. That won’t change until he’s 18. I have to admit though… neither of us ever played video games, we have no idea what kinds of stats to use the points on.” She blushes lightly, clearly out of her element with The Construct.

Smiling, Adreanell, Becky, and I spend the next hour or so explaining stats. Concepts like having enough Endurance to not hurt yourself with high Strength or enough Willpower to offset the high magical power of Intelligence are foreign to her.

Her own build so far revolves around magic, so I give her advice on focusing Intelligence, Willpower, and Attunement while having a bit of Dexterity as well for speed of movement while casting. With how strong monsters are, a little Endurance never hurts to have either.

As for Charlie, we explain that he’s clearly a physical fighter build so he should focus on Strength, Endurance, and Dexterity. He’ll need some Attunement as well to offset the mana cost of things like his Hammerspace and empowered attacks.

Her husband is an archer so we advise heavy focus on the same stats as Charlie, but with more emphasis on Dexterity over Strength.

After she thanks us profusely, we finally part ways. Becky, Adreanell, and I head to my house.

Reaching my house, I let Becky and Adreanell in before me. Becky steps in quickly, looking excited.

“Colt, you owe me dinner! Oh, hi Mrs. Kaine!”

“Becky? I haven’t seen you since you were in high school with Colt! I was so glad you loved his casserole!” Stepping in, I see Becky quirk a smug eyebrow at Colt.

“Hey, Colt!” Adreanell smile as she steps into the house.

“Hi, Mrs. Kaine. I hope we didn’t interrupt, we’re back.” Grinning awkwardly, Colt’s mom smiles at me.

“Of course not. Colt! Make your friends some chairs so they can sit. Hello, I’m Mary Kaine, Colt’s mother.” She extends a hand out to Adreanell who returns the gesture and they shake hands.

“Adreanell. Uh, no last name. I got rid of it.”

“More power to you, Adreanell. I actually didn’t realize you could do that. Can you show me how?”

The two of them fall into conversation while Becky salivates over a plate of meat and vegetables that Colt hands her. It looks like the same one I ate from earlier, Colt just reheated it.

Turning to Colt, I take his hand and lead him out of the main room of the first floor into the kitchen. “Hey. How’d things go with your mom?”

“They went well actually. She’s really happy about the two of us being together. She always thought we’d be a good match. Did you know my mom is a badass Spearwoman now? She’s already Adept in the Talent!” Colt’s eyes flash with color excitedly.

“Really? I saw the spear so I assumed but, Adept already? Wow.”

“Yeah, apparently the aftermath of… everything… gave her a lot of opportunities to level it up. She started with a pitchfork but decided a spear made a lot more sense as a transition.”

“Makes sense to me. But uh, how does she feel about, y’know, you being Fae?”

“Oh, yeah, that was awkward to explain. She seemed fine with it though. She was just horrified at what happened. She did tell me to tell you that she’ll rap you upside the head the next time you make boneheaded decisions.” Colt laughs lightly, showing that he’s clearly teasing.

“That’s fair. No more stupid decisions from me without consulting you.” Grinning at him, he smiles back.

“That’s not 100% convincing, Lucas. That implies you’ll still make them.”

“Maaaybe…” Shuffling awkwardly, I refuse to meet his eyes.

Colt sighs. “Fine. Just tell me first and I’ll say if you’re really not being smart about something, okay?”

“It’s a deal!”

“So uh, I need to build my mom a house, she told me to make it far enough away to give us some privacy. But, she’s uh, staying with us in the guest room until then. Sorry.”

“Oh, that’s no problem at all, Colt. Your mom is awesome, it’ll be fine! We’ll just need to ask Ilmarinen if we can use his shower until I have my mana back and can enchant ours.”

The sting through my entire body is still there, though I’ve come to a point of mostly ignoring it as it’s slowly recovering anyway. My gut tells me I should be better by the time I wake up tomorrow.

“Yeah, I won’t lie. You kinda stink right now.” He glances at me awkwardly.

“Oh, do I?” Giving myself a sniff, I recoil. “Good god, how has no one mentioned this yet?”

“You just woke up and I didn’t want to say anything! I used Hydromancy but there’s only so much you can do with just water.

“I need to fix this immediately. I’ll be right back.”

A short trip to a grumpy Ilmarinen later, he agrees to let us use the shower in exchange for Colt’s cooking.

Colt is more than happy to agree, he moves into Ilmarinen’s kitchen while I clean myself off. Becky takes a turn next and we don’t see her for two hours. Adreanell admits to needing one herself and takes one after Becky is done.

Colt’s mom takes one as well with Colt taking the last. Ilmarinen’s patience seems at its end, especially after a long conversation with Adreanell.

With all of us clean, it’s beginning to feel like a good start to this new life. Becky and Adreanell will be staying with us until Colt builds them houses as well. He gives each of them some paper and a pencil he bought from the Construct Shop to draw up floorplans.

With Colt’s schedule for the next few days looking incredibly busy, I resign myself to grinding my own Talents. At the very least, I decide to practice some more alchemy before the day is over.

Stepping into the alchemy room off of the kitchen, I realize one critical issue with our garden. It’s missing something.

Stepping through to Ilmarinen’s house once more, I apologize and run to my old house from his. Walking into the rather lush garden, I find a familiar, tiny form.

“Hey there Lil P! Did Colt forget to bring you to our house?” The golem simply stares blankly at me.

Carrying him back into our new house, I set him down in the garden. “Welcome to your new home, Lil P! How do you like it?”

The golem inspects the area for a quick moment before immediately going to tend to the various plants. There’s a lot in here I don’t recognize, but the gardening golem seems to implicitly understand the needs of each plant.

In the other room, I can hear laughter between the three girls as I prep the counter to make some potions. Smiling, I take a deep breath in, enjoying the earthy aroma of the alchemy room. ‘I think I could get used to this new normal.’