《The Great Devourer》10. Goddess vs dishes

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[June Rim Maldiver]

I angrily glared at Yul as I washed dishes. I don’t know why I thought she had a plan or money on her. She had demolished an inn, defeated me with apparent ease using only a kiss and yet had been enslaved into being a dishwasher. Was this the price of the forbidden, arcane knowledge of the Void mages? Madness? Memory loss? Would I soon forget everything, lose myself to the Void as well? I stared at my 1 Void mana in trepidation. My Shadow mana was slowly refilling. Soon enough, as soon as I was done with these damn dishes, I would vanish.

Yul turned one of the dishes to the side and a spray of water blasted me in the face. Sputtering I grabbed the plate she was holding, rotating it the other way. This damn idiot girl acted utterly clueless half of the time, had no idea how to behave herself in public, how to order food in a pub, how to eat normally. The more I observed, spent time with her, the more irritated and confused I became. She had no idea what money was! Did the Void spells she learned erase basic knowledge from her head to make room for themselves?

Worst of all, currently, she had no idea how to wash dishes and kept splashing me with soapy water. The lecherous fat employee in the back didn't seem to mind that we were making more of a mess than getting the job done. He now sat on a huge sack of rice, staring at us. The damn aprons were only covering up our front. Eventually, the amount of soapy water on the floor had reached critical mass. I was too busy counting my Shadow mana to pay attention to this trap and when I stepped forward I slipped, falling down right onto my butt and tail. I thrashed on the floor whimpering and churning more soap bubbles.

“Ha ha ha. You two are a riot. Okay, that’s enough of that.” The fat man laughed, looking at Yul. “Redhead, you clearly have no idea how to wash dishes. Not to worry, you’ve ordered enough fancy food to be my subs for about a week if not more. Plenty of time to learn. Redhead, grab a broom and clean up this mess. Foxie, get up and finish the dishes.”

The command of the pub’s backroom employee made me stand up. I clung to the sink, my feet comedically slipping and sliding on the soapy floor. The bastard was right. There was a number on Yul’s magic collar. It counted down from 568'943 seconds. Damn it, we were forced to work here for longer than the Resurgence was docked. The Rimmers wouldn't let me live this down if they found me naked and soapy working here as a dishwasher! I wouldn't hear the end of it. I wanted to tear the fat man’s throat as I struggled to stay upright, but the magical collar of subjugation wouldn't let me harm him - it was linked to an emerald ring on his finger, engraved with control and protection runes.

“By the way, you may refer to me as Master Majam. Speak only if you have questions about your job.” The man leaned back on his burlap sack and padded his belly, grinning unscrupulously. “You’ve got many days worth of servitude to our establishment and that doesn’t include sleep. You’ll be sleeping in my quarters upstairs.”

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I did not like the sound of that at all.

Yul moved across the soapy floor without slipping. Her sense of balance was impossibly good, unlike her dishwashing skills. She grabbed the broom and stupidly stared at the employee.

“Well?” Majam asked. “What’s the problem? I permit you to answer my questions, by the way.”

“I do not know how to wash the floors, Master Majam.” Yul said, her voice extremely monotone.

“What are you, a freaking princess? How do you not know something so basic?” Majam blinked.

“I am a Goddess possessing a human body, Master Majam.” Yul responded. “Accessing my human’s long term memories is often a problem due to the antithetical nature of magic between me and my meaty host. I am Void and she is White.”

I tried to wash dishes, but slipped again distracted by Yul’s answer, smacking my chest into the sink. I bent over whimpering. Damn lucky girl was crazy enough to somehow bamboozle the influence of the collar. She actually, unquestionably, absolutely believed that she was a Void Goddess! What a nutcase.

Majam froze for a minute, processing her answer. “I’m impressed that you’re able to tell jokes while collared, but you’re not here to be a comedian. You’re here to serve me, the representative of this fine establishment. So, no jokes or lies please. Be completely honest. Why is it that you don’t know how to do such basic things?”

“Many human tasks elude my divine understanding.” Yul replied with a shrug.

Majam sputtered. My Shadow mana had finally recovered to the point of use. The employee looked like he was sufficiently distracted by Yul’s insanity. I focused on being unseen and vanished. I was still there, clinging to the sink, too scared to move, but I hoped that my disappearance would be confusing enough for him not to command me and give me a chance to slip out of range of his voice.

“What the...?! Where’d the foxgirl go?” Majam turned towards the sink.

“She is…” Yul started to speak. Damn it all! She knew that I was a Shadowmancer! She would expose me to the fat idiot! I grabbed a heavy ceramic bowl from the sink with one hand and chucked it at the back of her head with all of my strength. I wasn’t allowed to harm Majam, but Yul was fair game at this point. The bowl connected with her head and exploded, glittering ceramic shards flying all over the place. Yul let go of the broom and collapsed forward, right into the lap of Majam.

The backroom employee gasped. He was clearly unprepared to deal with a Shadowmancer. From his point of view, a bowl simply exploded over Yul’s head and she fainted onto him.

“Watss goin on?” Majam blinked. “Get up, red! You have a job to...” He grabbed Yul by her shoulders, shaking her. She didn’t respond. It was a pretty heavy bowl. She was totally knocked out.

“Khm khm.” A voice resounded from the doorway. I turned my head to see who was there.

Fucking hell!

A very angry looking Legate of Virtue stood there, her red robe billowing. Next to the Legate stood a huge Enforcer Knight in full regalia and a young, female acolyte who held a Searcher pearl. The Searcher pointed right at Yul and Majam. “Valerianne Yul!”

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Shit. Shit. Shit! The Triumvirate were here in full force. I focused on maintaining my invisibility, holding my breath and watching as my Shadow mana ticked down with every passing second.

“WHAT sort of debauchery is this?!” The Legate barked and the windows of the kitchen rattled in their frames from the gale of her voice. She noticed the magical collar on Yul’s neck. “You DARE to enslave an acolyte of Virtue and force her to satisfy your carnal desires?!”

“I… uh… I didn’t...” Majam stuttered, shoving the naked, soapy girl off himself. Yul rolled to the floor as he started to rise from the sack of rice. “Your Excellency, I swear she was like this when…”

I gulped. Yul was an acolyte of Virtue! This was bad. Very, very bad.

“Filthy, disgusting swine!” Legate raised her hand, clad in white steel. The palm of her hand was exposed, not covered up by the armor. A white spiral array divided by a vertical burning line was tattooed there.

“Sunder!” The Legate spoke and the burning line on her hand flashed.

Majam opened his mouth to speak, but could not utter a word. The malachite ring on his finger shattered, divided in half. His hand became two disconnected halves. His body started to slide apart, perfectly cleaved apart, exposing muscles, joints, bones, organs and his brain. Blood exploded out of the two halves of the man. The sack of rice behind him burst, every grain of rice in the path of the invisible all-cutting line cleaved in twain. A thin line appeared across the kitchen tiles right behind the man.

The Legate nodded to the Knight. He stepped across the soapy floor towards Yul's body, gently picked her up and cradled her in his large, armoured hands.

The barmaid that had collared us entered the kitchen. “Wait, Legate Feuerstahl, I…” She saw the two halves of the man on the floor and gasped in shock.

Legate Feuerstahl turned towards the barmaid. “I don’t want to hear your excuses. Disable the collar magic or…”

“Disable the Obedience collars!” The barmaid yelped, lifting her malachite ring, her face pale with fright. She knew what the Triumvirate would execute her and obliterate this pub if she didn’t obey or even spoke out of turn.

The collar magic faded from my neck along with Yul’s. I could not breathe out in relief, because the Virtue Knights were still here. It would only take one glance in my direction by the Searcher and I would be undone.

Thankfully, the Searcher was far too busy staring at the divided body of Majam. She was a young acolyte and clearly didn’t see the Legate use her full power against the unvirtuous before.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that she was an acolyte of Virtue! Please forgive me!” The barmaid dropped on her knees, arms held together in prayer. She didn’t want to be divided in half.

The Legate spared the barmaid a glance. “You clearly had nothing to do with this licentiousness, girl. Go forth and sin no more. Speak no more of this matter, lest we return.”

The Legate walked out of the kitchen, the Enforcer and the Searcher following in her footsteps. The barmaid still stood on her knees, weeping softly and shaking in fright. The footsteps of the Triumvirate faded in the utterly silent pub. I saw the sunken, pale faces of the Adventurers as the kitchen doors swung shut behind them.

My Shadow mana ran out and I became visible. I let go of the sink, slipped down to the floor and started to crawl towards the back door. The barmaid paid no attention to me. She was shakily singing the prayer of the Virtuous, terrified that the Triumvirate would return and take her life. They had every right, every reason to do so. To collar a member of the church was a death sentence. It wasn’t her fault. Yul’s red cape was beyond wrecked. Nobody could have known that she was an acolyte of Virtue! I didn’t know it either! How, why in the hell was a Void mage an acolyte of Virtue?! Surely they scanned, tested all applicants!

I slipped out the back door, standing in the back of the pub, my heart beating a thousand times a minute. This was beyond bad. The situation was absolutely dreadful! If I failed the Quest to guard Yul, the only capable Void mage in Europa, Captain Nicodemus wouldn't just settle for the System subtracting 10'000 points from me. He would multiply my soul debt a thousand times if not more! I knew the exact worth of Yul now. She was priceless to the Rimmers.

The Captain would find a fitting punishment for me, I was certain. The Rimmers wouldn’t outright murder me, but they would find a way to make my life a hellish nightmare. I overheard stories of Academia Novitiates who had failed important missions and some of the punishments inflicted upon them were truly abominable. Forced to extract cleansed bones of beasts from the flubberworm pits while wearing nothing at all was just the tip of the iceberg!

Those with debt high enough lost all rights to their soul and body. I had sneaked into the catacomb labs once. Not the brightest idea, I know, but curiosity nearly killed this little fox on fairly regular basis. Being a subject of magical soul-modding experiments by the unscrupulous Rim Archmagi was something I definitely didn’t want to partake in. It would be easier to just be cleaved in twain by the Legate and die with my soul intact. Instant death was preferable to what the Rim Academia of Magic could do to me if I failed this mission.

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