Chapter Forty-Two

I staggered down a narrow street, blue blood dripping from more than half my suit, from my hair, and covering part of my visor. My pulse raced, making my head spin. I didn’t know where I was going—just that I had to get away from the corpses I’d left behind.

“What in the—” I heard weapons raise, a sharp intake of breath, then a familiar voice ordered, “Stand down!”

A hand clamped down on my shoulder and pressed, stopping me in my tracks. “Elara? By the ancestors! What happened? Are you injured—”

“Not…mine…” I managed to get the words out. Fingers grasped my visor and pulled it off. I found myself standing face-to-face with Jysel, of all people. Yet…he looked concerned. Not angry.

“Casair, take a group of men and go find where she came from,” Jysel ordered, then he turned to someone else. “Bring me something to clean her off with. We can’t let her wander around like this.”

I remained silent as Jysel checked me over for injuries, a low humming coming from him as he worked.

“Sir…” Casair spoke from behind me, but continued in Syldran. Had he really been gone long enough? Or, had I not been walking for as long as I thought?

“Elara, calm down. Focus.” Jysel carefully took my face in his hands, his expression firm as he stared back at me. “What happened?”

“I…was on patrol,” I answered quietly. “Heard screaming. Found that bastard…” I clenched a fist, the feral threatening to rise with my anger. “I got angry and ordered him to stop. He…stopped, knelt, and I’m not sure what I did. He asked why I betrayed him. Then…”

I felt nausea welling up, but as if he sensed it, Jysel hummed… something and it vanished.

“You accidentally bound him before you killed him… Then what?” Jysel spoke in soft, soothing tones.

“He said…this planet is a warzone and whatever they want is for the taking,” I shook my head. “He said they—”

“Who is ‘they,’ Elara?” Jysel prompted gently. “The cult? The humans?”

“No… Citomy…she released the contents of her prison ship on this planet.” I shivered and shook my head again. “She…they…”

“Why did you kill the victim too, Elara?” Casair asked, sounding concerned but significantly less gentle. I glanced at him, then at the ground. This time, I was sure Jysel wouldn’t be able to keep me from being sick.

“You…should move…” I put a hand against Jysel’s chest and pushed him back. “I killed her because…that bastard was eating—”

I couldn’t make it through my sentence before turning and dry heaving. There wasn’t anything left for me to vomit any more, but that sure didn’t mean my body wasn’t going to try. My head swam as a hand came to rest on my back.

“We need to get you somewhere safe. Elara, do you— Elara? Hey! Stay with…”

* * *

Concerned whining and the smell of something coffee-like woke me up enough to detect arguing voices nearby. I cracked an eye open to find Sal’aphel’s snout mere inches from mine as he pouted on the edge of the bed I was on.

I glanced around the dim room, unable to recognize anything. The thing I was laying on was the most comfortable bed I’d ever experienced, sure, and I could guess the other pieces in the room…but not the style or material. Even the floors, walls, and ceiling were foreign.

“We can’t keep her here! The humans will be looking for her soon, even Zafir doesn’t know she’s here,” a voice hissed angrily. “We should take her to Rel’s at least, as they trust him with her. If Citomy dumped her prisoners here, then we need to get moving—”

“We can’t just leave her after such an awful, intense experience. I know I’ve had my problems with her, but she needs support.”

“Let me up, Sal’aphel,” I grumbled, my voice cracking from dryness. The feeling of soft material sliding across my skin made me look down, realizing I was completely nude.

I sensed movement behind me, then heard a faint sigh. “Your suit disappeared when you fainted. If you need clothes, we can find something for you.”

“Where am I? I asked, keeping my voice low so it wouldn’t crack again. Standing up, I hesitated for a moment and looked around for clothes. Then, I glanced down at the armlet I wore. Right—wardrobe module. I summoned one of the warmer Syldrari clothing sets around myself, then turned to look at Jysel.

“Our hideout that you’ve seen before. Casair didn’t think it would be safe to bring you to our ship.” Jysel glanced at his pet as Sal’aphel moved to follow me, a faint smile coming to his face. He said something to the creature in Syldran, that noticed my questioning look. “I told him he can accompany us if he doesn’t try to scare or chew on my soldiers.”

“See? He’s a good boy.” I scratched Sal’aphel’s cheek since I didn’t quite feel up to reaching higher.

“Elara, about…the Lun’iri you executed,” Jysel started carefully, “I believe you should be grateful that you accidentally bound him.”

I grimaced before looking over to the uneasy man, doing my best to keep from snapping. He sounded quite serious and had the look of someone who was expecting to get hit for stating their opinion. “I hope you’re going to tell me why instead of leaving it at that.”

“Let’s get you a drink first.” Jysel offered me a hand, then hesitated and glanced away.

I placed my hand in his, half to ease his concerns, and half because I wasn’t confident in my steadiness while walking. Jysel looked at my hand briefly as if it were some unknown object, then to my face.

“You…” he hesitated, though I had a sneaking suspicion he thought I’d confused him for his brother.

“Jysel, what happened after I passed out?” I asked calmly, watching his eyes widen slightly. Then, he glanced away like a shy puppy and a hint of blue crept into the tips of his ears.

“Ah… We took the aggressor’s body and put him on display suitably for his crimes,” Jysel murmured, rubbing his chin briefly. “Sending a message swiftly to the other loose prisoners may help intimidate them. The woman…I’ve sent one of my insiders to deal with claiming what remains of her, so that the correct story is told to the human media.

“Your visor wasn’t functioning, and your suit disappeared when you lost consciousness, so I’ve no idea if Zafir is aware of what happened. I made the decision to bring you here, though we have yet to agree whether we should send for Rel and Zafir…”

“We should,” Casair stated flatly as he joined us. “The imperials won’t take kindly to us being the ones to give her back, and it would give them fuel to claim we don’t care about all queens. They’ll work together with Citomy to further damage our image.”

“We shouldn’t send her back.” Jysel nudged me ahead of him and through an archway, into what looked vaguely like a lounge area. “I’ll contact Rel. We can discuss where to go from here with him.”

“ Fine .” Casair sighed irritably, before pointing at a seat and giving me a look. “Sit down before you fall down. I’ll get you a drink. Think you can stomach food?”

I started say no, but my stomach rumbled and Casair took that as his cue to grab some food, too.

“I’m not sure I can—” I grumbled as he set the drink and a bowl in front of me.

“It’s something light,” he offered, before taking a seat across from me and glancing at Sal’aphel, whose head was on my armrest and nearly in my lap. “That’s her food.”

Sal’aphel whined but stayed put, briefly, until the door swung open and both twins walked into the room. Rel must have been getting ready for bed or just gotten up, because all he wore was a set of pants and a robe. He didn’t even have shoes on.

“Okay, are you going to explain to me now, Jysel?” I asked as they drew closer.

“Explain…ah, yes, I’ll do that first.” Jysel nodded and took a seat off to my left, leaving Rel to take a seat a little ways to my right since Sal’aphel wouldn’t budge. “We’re already quite dangerous, as you know. That man was drugged, and already a violent criminal. He was a serial…ah…rapist, murderer, and…cannibalist? Among other things I’d rather not touch on. But, is ‘cannibalist’ the right word? He didn’t merely eat other Syldrari. Anyone was food. Um…”

“What he’s trying to say, is you would have been next if you hadn’t bound then executed him. He eluded capture for centuries.” Rel leaned over his armrest and nudge Sal’aphel over slightly. “We will need to hack into the ship’s manifest, but it is likely that the other freed prisoners are of similar…skill.”

“What is that woman thinking?” Jysel muttered bitterly.

Rel glanced at the table in front of me, noting the untouched bowl of food, then sighed. He coaxed Sal’aphel out of his way, picked up the bowl, and perched on the armrest to my right, his expression firm.

“Elara, you need to regain your strength. You should be able to keep this down, as it is designed for soldiers who have just seen their first kill,” Rel spoke calmly but firmly, lifting the spoon in his fingers before hesitating. “Of course, I’m aware you are experienced…but not with that . Tonight you saw something no one should have to see.”

“Fine,” I grumbled, reaching for the spoon, but Rel insisted on feeding me himself. Something about me being too shaky to hold the spoon.

“Jysel, you know Zafir is probably sick with worry after having lost contact with her,” Casair began, receiving a short grunt in response. “We need to tell him she’s fine…and he has to know what Citomy has done. Elara and the rest of her team are all in danger.”

“Yes…and perhaps that is precisely Citomy’s aim,” Rel murmured, glancing down at me. His expression softened. “Where is your room? You need more rest. Allow us to handle Zafir.”

“We shouldn’t send her back.” Jysel rubbed his temples, looking incredibly conflicted. “Not to that city. If a relocation could be arranged…”

“That isn’t enough. Not with such filth on the loose.” Rel got to his feet and glanced toward the kitchens. “Give me some time. I’ll make you something warm.”

I glanced at the bowl in his hand, finally registering that it was empty, and that I didn’t recall eating more than a spoonful or two.

Jysel, noticing my confusion, stood up and walked over. Before I could say anything, he lifted me fully out of my seat and called back to Rel, “Casair’ll show you to her room when you’re done. I’m taking her back since she was focusing better there. I don’t think she is going to do well in open spaces, for a time.”

“Open…?” Rel hesitated, then turned to look at Casair. “How about you fill me in, fully, while I prepare a meal for her.”

“Sure…right.” Casair grimaced and scratched his head.

“Is it necessary to carry me?” I grumbled quietly as Jysel carried me down the hallway.

“You can barely focus on conversation; do you think you can focus on walking?” Jysel countered, his face expressionless.

“I don’t want to be coddled,” I pointed out.

“It isn’t coddling. You had a traumatic experience, and you need to recover from it both mentally and physically.” Jysel carefully sat me on the edge of the bed in my room and caught me by the shoulders when I swayed. “Listen to me. You didn’t simply expel the contents of your stomach when you saw what that criminal was doing. You expended most of your energy when you bound and subsequently executed him. You were still discharging electrical currents when you stumbled upon us.

“We’re lucky you’re conscious at all yet. The food Rel is preparing will help replenish what you’ve lost, but you also need rest . And I…need to determine if there is a way to keep from having to send you back to the humans. Sending you or your team members to deal with the released criminals would be sending you to die.” Jysel paused, a small frown forming on his otherwise blank face. “What were you doing in that sector, anyway?”

“Why, did I interrupt ‘Syldrari business?’” I snorted.

Jysel tilted his head. “Would it make you feel better if I said yes?”

That managed to earn a short laugh from me, and I shook my head. “No, I’ve had enough of having to repeatedly explain my situation to everyone I meet.”

“Then…?” Jysel prompted.

“It was just a routine patrol this time. We’ve been on rotating patrols, covering different sectors, for several weeks. They’re mostly keeping me out of the Syldrari Sector because they don’t want to raise more suspicion that I’m Lethe.” I leaned back on one hand, watching as Jysel moved over to a chair and sat down, crossing one leg over the other. “We haven’t been having many team excursions or directed missions, for some reason, and we’ve been receiving hardly any intel. I think it’s been over a month now since we last heard about a military facility being attacked by you or by the cultists.”

“Mmm…” Jysel’s gaze averted, his eyes seeming to go unfocused as he considered something. “There must be a reason that so many forces have converged on this planet in particular… It has no rare resources to speak of, it’s owned by one of the weakest species in the known universe…” He shook his head as if to dismiss that train of thought. “You’re certain it was a routine patrol?”

“Yeah, it’s been on my schedule for over a week,” I answered, tapping my foot against the air. “That isn’t to say this couldn’t have been orchestrated somehow. We know that Citomy and the cultists both have moles inside HQ. Citomy’s don’t appear to have high clearance, but I’m assuming the empire’s databases and network systems are fairly easy for Syldrari to hack.”

“And…you’re still bothered by how that criminal reacted to being bound then executed?” Jysel asked hesitantly. “Forgive me, but as it is what saved your life, I struggle to understand why you have reacted in such a way.”

I took a moment to consider how I wanted to word my answer to such a complex question. “Disregarding the obvious part of the equation for a moment: It’s…the immediate 180° he did. He went from…uh… dining to practically vowing his eternal servitude to me—and his feeling of betrayal was genuine. He mistook me binding him as a blessing to continue the behavior he’d been partaking in.

“I’m bothered that binding someone means such mindless devotion and obedience. The thing I like about people is that they’re their own person, with hopes, dreams, aspirations, and ambitions. If binding someone completely negates that, how is it any better than the ‘reprogramming’ that the empire does?”

“And this…” Jysel released a soft sigh and gave me a tired smile, “…is why it’s imperative queens receive training in how to control their abilities. In this case, it’s for the best that you took him over so completely. Had you not, he would have killed you or worse.”

“We should find someone to train her,” Rel spoke up as he entered the room, carrying a tray of food. Casair followed behind with a pitcher and four glasses. “We can’t ignore the fact that, as your cellular dissonance progresses, your powers grow stronger. I will have Ciheri do some research and see if we can refrain from involving another queen, such as Xilen.”

“I thought you trusted Xilen?” I asked, puzzled.

“I trust Xilen’s ambitions. Under the right circumstances, she would be our enemy and not our ally.” Rel hesitated, then shook his head once. “You are different from other queens and we would prefer you stayed that way. Right, Jysel ?”

“Yes…” Jysel muttered begrudgingly.

“Sit back,” Rel stated, looking at me then at the head of the bed. “You can’t balance the tray on your lap as you are.”

“What are we gonna do about Zafir?” Casair asked as Rel carefully placed the tray on my lap.

“We have to figure out what we are doing about Elara first,” Rel stated. He caught my questioning look and returned it with a firm one. “You need to rest, and somewhere where you feel safe. I would imagine that means here, with guards and Sal’aphel to make certain you aren’t disturbed. Or, do you feel safe at HQ?

“We both know HQ isn’t safe,” I answered dryly. “But waiting too long may make it even less safe. The moles or the imperials, if not both, will know something has gone wrong soon.”

“Unfortunately, it may be for the best if we call for Zafir,” Jysel spoke up after a moment, earning an odd look from Casair. “What? I’ve had time to think. He’s our man on the inside for a reason—he is able to navigate complex situations with ease. Of the four of us, he is the most likely to know, quickly, how we should proceed.”

“We can wait to call him until after Elara eats and settles down to rest,” Rel stated in a tone that left no room for argument. He sat on the edge of my bed and gave me a gentle look. “Do you need help, or are you feeling less shaky?”

I wanted to say I didn’t need help, but then I remembered how easily the three of them would see through that. Sighing, I glanced away in embarrassment and grumbled, “Still…a little shaky.”

“Elara, there is no need to be embarrassed. What you are feeling is completely natural,” Rel informed me, his voice reverberating faintly with calming tones. “Any one of us would have been horrified to come across what you saw.”

“You aren’t the only one who got sick,” Casair offered nodding his agreement. “That kind of brutality…you don’t see it much with most species. Not to mention the other…issues.”

“It’s very different from killing in self-defense or in battle,” Jysel murmured absentmindedly, his eyes still unfocused. “Most of my men struggled to stomach it. You shouldn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed for having such a strong reaction. If it helps…be thankful for the confirmation that you’re a person and not a monster.”

“Here,” Rel spoke quietly, picking up a piece of bread and tearing off a small piece for me. “Let’s get you fed so you can rest. Alright?”

“Mhm…” I hesitated, then let him feed me. Casair poured us all a drink, through Jysel barely touched his while he did…whatever it was he was doing in the corner. After a few bites, I asked, “Where is Sal’aphel?”

“Outside. I’ll let him in when you’re done eating,” Rel informed me with a small smile. “Otherwise, he will eat it all—tray included.”

Casair stopped mid-sip as if listening to something, turning his head slightly. Then, a frown touched his lips and he looked between the twins. “One of our men says he’s got an urgent report for me. If I may…”

“Go.” Jysel nodded to him. “Rel and I can handle finding suitable guards for this room.”

“Guards, huh?” I glanced at Jysel.

“I may be…rash…at times…” Jysel shot his twin a foul look when he scoffed. “But I know when to exercise caution. No one goes in or out of this room without permission from me or Rel.”

“So, you can be reasonable,” Rel remarked. “I’m so proud of you, Jysel. You’re growing.”

“Oh yes, I’m sure you’re so thrilled,” Jysel muttered as he continued to focus. “You want to stage an escape from this planet just as much as I do. Tell me, is Clan V’shir even prepared?”

“Of course. Everyone is prepared to man their stations and set a course for uncharted space at a moment’s notice,” Rel answered with a dangerous smile. “The real question is whether you’re prepared to follow us.”

“Do I want to know what you two are on about—and why ?” I looked between the pair.

“Not yet.” They answered in unison, both immediately returning to their individual tasks.

Once they were satisfied that I’d been properly fed and hydrated, they let Sal’aphel into the room and he promptly curled up on the bed with me. Well, as much of him as would fit on it, anyway. Then, the twins shut off the lights and took their leave. I had just started to wonder how I was supposed to sleep after the night I’d had, when a melody reverberated through me and I felt my body go limp, my mind drifting into darkness.

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