《The Iceman》Awful Omake
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Hola guys. I'm still on my exams and working hard on it. Thanks for all your well wishes, and prayers. It helps.
So I can't release a true chapter yet, but I decided to leave you guys with something to entertain y'all till I get back.
Yes. This is an omake chapter. I'm not really skilled at it, it's a first for me actually. This is very unfamiliar territory for me here. So without further ado, please enjoy.
Omake- The life and death of a virgin.
Sad feels storytime.
>Be me, green, dinosaur fire breathing, acid spewing monster.
>Live in underground basement my whole life.
>Don't have much friends because I'm a neet.
>The ones I do have, call me ugly.
>Check my reflection in pond.
>I realize I have monstrous buck tooth and a mean mug.
>Ask mom why. Since she is a damn loch ness dinosaur.
>Find out she had a threesome with a Gorilla and a Sabre tooth tiger, at a monster party down in Bermuda.
>Mfw all she asked for was three fiddy.
>Mfw I realize she has a meme.
>Mfw I've never even met my dad(s).
>Mfw I know I'll probably die a kissless virgin.
>Sit in my secret spot and silently cry, munching on rocks, they give me a bad case of acid but whatever.
>When bam! A gaping hole literally appears right above me.
>My eyes sting from the light and all the noise above.
>It's those dumb surface dwellers.
>Too angry to be rational. I decide to give them a piece of my mind.
>I jump out the hole.
>“huh” it's actually nice up here.
>They have tall boxes where they live in with little hard ants they drive in.
>“Hello” I try to say. Instead what comes
out is a grunt “Graawrghh!” and some fire.
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>Mfw all those years spent silently in the basement wrecked my vocal chords.
>The little humans scream and try to flee in panic.
>Mfw I just made the worst first impression ever.
>I wave my arms to try and salvage the situation. Instead my useless hands wreck all the tall boxes.
>I sigh, I shouldn't have. The rocks I ate act up, uncontrolled acid sprays out my throat.
>I fucked up too much to salvage it now.
> I just wanna go home. I try turning around. I step on one of the hard ants and I fucking slide.
>Hell no! I lash my tail out to save me from an embarrassing fall.
>It forms a deep ravine and breaks apart even more boxes.
>“I'm sorry!” I tried to say. What came out was “RWAARRRRHH!”
>Don't know when but a damn mosquito flies up to my face.
>Try to smack that little shit away, but it keeps dodging.
>I give up and just continue back to the hole.
>A metal, I mean literally metal surface dweller jumps from the insect and pounds my nose in.
>It hurts, I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried like a soaked bat.
>I try to flick the sonofa mastodon of off me.
>The little shit rides my broken nose like a parasite.
>Another one with toothpicks stabs into my arms.
>The the insect keeps spitting fireballs at me.
>Another surface dweller throws red fire that travels in a straight line at me.
>It fucking hurts. I scream fire and acid.
>I spot the shit eating grin on the little shit’s face as he throws more red fire at me.
>A real 10/10 qt3.14 angel with diamond skin and boobs the size of ostrich eggs walks to the red beam shooting Chad and acqually kiss!
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> I go uber T-Rex and start wrecking shit, full force no mercy. It actually feels nice.
>I suddenly start feeling really cold on the inside. Like I swallowed an ice dragon.
>White clouds gather and a friggin four armed titan shoots at me.
>whatthefuck.png
>Doesn't even let me speak. It starts decking me.
>it wrecks me so bad I can feel my life slipping away.
>Mfw the only female I ever kissed was my mom.
>Mfw I think she has a thing for ugly monsters, and it makes me feel hot.
>I just realize that I probably have a mom complex. And I'm still a virgin.
>It's probably good that I die now then, I would've an hero if not.
>The ice bastard freezes me over and tosses me back into hole.
And that's how normies killed me. Now I just go place to place ghost shitposting.
*. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *. *
Finito! Tell me how it was. You like it? Hate it?
I accept constructive criticisms it's how I better myself so please don't hold back.
Yep I channelled some of that 4ch….. I'll regret it later.
Ps, the monster was the giant godzilla they killed back then. Oh, the cringe.
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