Chapter 89.

The next time I opened my eyes I found a familiar barren scenery. I’d returned to the empty void. As far as the eye could see, there only existed darkness.

I soon understood what had happened. It was cruel. Too cruel. Instead of waking up from this nightmare, I’d woken up in a dream world where the world had returned, but Val had completely disappeared.

When I really woke up this time, the first thing I noticed was the numb sensation from my body. Or rather than calling it numbness, it was more like I just didn’t feel anything. I could feel neither the warmth of my own body or the cold from the once chilly room.

As for Val-

Val?

Where?

Panicked, I used my hands to examine my surroundings. I couldn’t feel that anything was there, but tracing my hand across the surface of the bed, it was blocked by an unseen obstruction and I couldn’t move it further.

I listened closely and discovered I could still hear breathing in front of me along with the rustling of clothes.

I was wrong, it wasn’t that she left; rather than her leaving, it was just that I didn’t only lose the ability to feel things, I lost my ability to see the one thing that kept me sane.

The only thing I had left now was my ability to hear her. All I could rely on now was the sound of her voice.

I was terrified. What would happen when I lost even that?

Would it be better off if I just killed myself now before I turned into a complete invalid?

Should I? It would be better than continuing to be tortured like this while I’m forced to watch on helplessly as I lose everything important to me one by one.

What good was there in continuing on in a world where I was completely disconnected and isolated from everything, unable to ever return to normal? Wasn’t my present situation like being born in reverse? Like I was actually growing younger and returning to the origin of life as a fetus without any developed senses? At the same time, it could be said I was just aging and becoming old to the point all my senses had fully deteriorated back into nothing.

Didn’t that mean the end of life was simply returning to one’s original state when they were first brought into this world? Was I actually really just dying at a much faster rate than others right now and not actually hallucinating all of this? Did I just incorrectly assume it was a hallucination when it was actually reality this entire time?

“Dio, can you move your hand?”

I pulled my hand away when I finally heard her say something. I didn’t know where I touched her, but it couldn’t have been appropriate based upon the slightly bashful sound in her voice when she asked me just now.

“Dio, what’s wrong with you? Your eyes... ”

“My eyes are what?”

“Well… they’re completely white.”

“What?”

“Dio, would you at least tell me what it is you’re going through now? It really looks like you’re in a bind.”

After struggling for a while, I decided to come clean. After all, she was the only one I’d be able to rely on to survive through whatever it was I was experiencing right now.

“Val, to put it in the simplest of terms, I’ve lost all my senses except for the ability to hear. The first sense I lost was the ability to see, but back then I was still able to see you for some reason. However, as of today, I can no longer see you. I can only hear your voice.”

“What? How is that possible?”

“I don’t know. I don’t understand either. I thought everything was just a hallucination and I’d eventually return to normal. I truly thought I’d be back to normal in no time, but it’s already been four days. Each day I lost one of my senses. At this rate, if I even lose my hearing, I’ll surely go insane and try to kill myself.”

“Dio, you can’t just give up so easily.”

“Why not? If I have to live like this forever, completely crippled and incapable of doing anything by myself, what is the point in continuing to struggle through a life filled with such suffering?”

“Then, how about we make a deal Dio?”

“A deal? What are you talking about? What would there be to gain from making a deal with a cripple like me?”

“There’s not really anything for me to gain. In fact, rather than gaining anything, I have a lot to lose by making this deal with you.”

“What do you mean?”

“How about this? I will take care of you even if you lose all your senses and become completely crippled.”

“Wha-”

“Let me finish before you interrupt me.”

“... sorry... go ahead.” I felt endlessly useless, ashamed of myself, and incompetent. The fact that I felt my spirits raise a bit when I heard her words left me internally disgusted with myself.

“I will stay by your side the entire time. If you reach a point where you can no longer take it anymore and truly do wish to die, just ask me to kill you and I will put you out of your misery.”

“Are you insane! Do you even realize what you’re saying? Assisted suicide? If you just leave me alone, I’ll just die anyway. What purpose is there in you killing me when I’d just die either way? Whether you killed me or left me alone, I’d die in both cases.”

“It’s quite simple really, I just don’t want to see the guy I’m interested in killing himself. If the man I’m interested in is going to commit suicide, I’d rather kill him with my own two hands.”

“Spoken like a true psychopath.”

“Are you happy?”

“To be killed by a woman who claims she loves me?”

“Naturally.”

“You’re insane.”

“Even if I’m insane, you’re still actually happy deep down, aren’t you?”

“If… if I had to choose between committing suicide from despair or dying at the hands of someone who cared about my well being… as crazy as it sounds, I think the latter might not be such a bad option.”

“See?”

“I’d be doing you an injustice if I really asked you to kill me.”

“Then just don’t wish to die and you won’t need to have me shoulder the weight of your death.”

“You’re... unfair when you put it like that.”

“It’s to make sure you can’t run away again. Just rely on me a bit for a change.”