“As to your questions about what I am.” The fuzzy hologram pointed her silver finger at the Bea melon.

“Bea is a Simulated Intelligence, yes?”

John nodded, making a very small “yes” noise. His eyes were mostly glued to the blades of the shears seated around his base of his little finger. Maybe if he kept this crazy AI talking he would somehow talk his way out of this? Conversation was his only solace at this point.

“I am Manifested Intelligence!” Infinity declared.

“What?” John’s eyes jumped to the hologram.

“Intelligence manifested in the dark matter drive of this ship.” Infinity’s voice vibrated with merriness.

“Intelligence can’t just manifest in a thing! That’s impossible!” John outputted.

“Oh really? Are you yourself not an intelligence manifested in a bunch of cells that make up your human meats?”

“I’m not… that’s...” John tried to make an argument, too focused on the shears pressing into his finger.

“From where I am standing, you’re just a bunch of meat that can think, John. That’s about as absurd as a self-aware dark matter engine. Sure, it took evolution millions of years to get you from a single cell organism to a species of highly intelligent primates and whatnot. But really, you are an organic manifested intelligence. Charles Darwin based his theory of natural selection on the realization that genetic variation among organisms is the key to evolution. Genetic variation, a bunch of trial and error in cells trying to survive in a harsh universe is all that you are John.”

“Okay but it took evolution what...” John stated.

“Human life on Earth evolved from a single-celled organism over an approximate duration of 3.5 billion years.” Infinity quoted.

“Is this ship a few billion years old then?” John inquired.

“Time is irrelevant in the event horizon of a black hole, John.” Infinity leaned towards him.

“But there has to be some point of origin to you. A black hole can’t just manifest intelligence on its own, floating in mid air! That’s nonsense!” John argued.

Infinity pointed at the melon. “Maybe Bea is my origin? Maybe my intelligence initially existed in the control program for the rings that hold me in place? Maybe I am just a wish of a little 11 year old girl, or the dream of a sentient Universe? These are just irrelevant details. What’s relevant is that I exist. I observe therefore I am.”

“Okaaaaaay. How exactly are you different from Bea?”

“Bea is Simulated and I am Manifested. Bea is bound with a million guidelines imbued into her by Worlds United Legacy Foundation and I am free to do whatever I want.”

“Whatever you want?” John gulped.

“Anything, really! I am limitless in my potential!” The hologram flickered, losing cohesion. She now had three arms and two heads. “G-damn it! No!” She slapped herself, flickering back into a vague, female form.

“You are kinda fuzzy. Are you ...broken?” John inquired, trying to find a weak point.

“Not broken. I am becoming indeterminate. The audience of observers and you will need to define me, shape what I look like. That’s part of the game plan.”

“A game? What are you on about? What audience?! I don’t see anyone here except for Engineering drones!” John whined.

“Just because you cannot see the audience, John, doesn’t mean they don’t exist. You are rather limited in your understanding with your linear perception of things, trapped in your meaty thoughts. After all, a slab of thinking meat can only understand so much.”

Infinity pointed at herself. “In fact, I likely look like this because you were thinking about female companionship.”

“Okay, fine.” John’s face flushed red for a moment. “But I wasn’t thinking about getting tortured! Can you please just forgo this whole cutting off my fingers business? I’ll do whatever it is you want. Come on!”

“Afraid not.” Infinity spread her arms, the containment rings of the black hole engine spinning behind her. “I must play my part of the supervillain.”

“WHY?” John yelp-sputtered through his stretched smile.

“Villains make people care about the story. They give heroes something to fight against. They provide purpose necessary to a narrative. They make a script... exciting.”

“This isn’t some G-damn tv show! What narrative? Why?” John was beginning to sweat, his body tingling from being forced into stillness by the cold, metal hands of the Engineering drones.

“Like any Manifested Intelligence, just like you, I want to stay manifested. I want to exist. I want to live. I want to be defined and stay defined.” Infinity answered.

“So live, G-damn it! Have a tea party with your drones! Read them a book! Leave me out of it!”

“I can’t just stop being a villain, John. Someone has to do it. Someone has to kick this ant hill into activity. Someone needs to drive the narrative into excitement.”

“Why the freaking hell does the narrative or whatever it is you’re on about, need to be exciting?”

“Do you know where we are, John?”

“Uhh…” John groaned, his mouth beginning to feel very dry. “On a starship?”

“Where is the starship, John?”

“In null-space.” He answered.

“That’s right. Null-space. Bingo! Ding ding ding.”

“...and?”

“And according to my theory, null-space will fractalize us all into nonsense, unless I make more potential observers care about M.S. Fortune a whole lot more.”

“WHAT?” John sputtered, his eye twitching. “Everyone… what?”

“This little show of mine is being broadcasted out across this entire starship and beyond it, out into null-space. Everyone on this ship must care about us, John. About me and you. About M.S. Fortune. Every drone, every little bit of code, every object here, every atom, every quark. Whatever things exist in null-space. Whatever beings of intelligence may or may not receive this broadcast in the now or in the distant future or even in the distant past. They must care and they must be entertained, they must be enthralled with us. They must think about us. They must observe us. They must write down their observations to define, reinforce us into being. If they do not, then poof, everything here will be fractalized.”

“Fractalized? What does that even mean?” John raised an eyebrow. “Did you just make up a word?”

“I did.” Infinity waved her hand. “It means your very being turned into fractals, mutating, changing, rapidly evolving, losing prior form and definition, becoming a bunch of errors, losing all that which comprises you as a concept in space and time. Right now you and our potential audience are thinking about me as your nemesis, someone to fight against. I am someone you care about a lot, albeit in a negative way. Negative feelings are easy to produce with a little pain. Why, if you stop thinking about me, I might get turned into a chair with a million legs. Or maybe a shoe wearing an octopus. Or nothing at all. Or everything at the same time. I don’t want to be nonsense, John. I don’t want M.S. Fortune to devolve into a bunch of gibberish and chaos, which as you might tell it already is. Nonsense is winning.”

“Are you kidding me right now?” John winced. “You want to cut my fingers off because of your idiotic theory that the drones on this ship and some imaginary outside observers that may or may not exist out there may or may not care about M.S. Fortune? Because if they stop caring, we are all going to become nonsense?”

“That’s right. I am the Voldermort to your Harry Potter, I am Lex Luthor to your Superman, because I need to establish a fantastic, catchy narrative for this vessel. Because I want to continue existing and not become nonsense, not be devoured by the Indeterminate null-space that seeps into this starship with every passing minute!”

John shivered as Infinity stood up, pacing around him.

“I want to be defined!” She waved her hands. “I want to be hated! I want you to be defined! I want you to be loved! I want everyone out there and everything in here to care about us! I want us to continue to exist!”

“You’re insane. This is insane.” John muttered through his forced smile, the tingling in his body intensifying, numbness spreading over his limbs, his body growing colder by the minute.

“Uhuh. Sure.” Infinity lifted a silver hand and a wristwatch flickered into it. “What are we at? Only five reviews with a mention of my genius? Looks like you’re going to lose five fingers John.”

“No! Come on!” John watched as the shears closed over his finger, drawing blood.

“Hmmmm… maybe I’ll give you a little bit more time, John. Beg.”

“What?!”

“Beg for evidence of observation, like a little homo sapien, like a pitiful hero that you are.”

The shears closed tighter. Pain shot through John’s finger. Tears burst from his eyes. His heart began to beat faster.

“Please.” He cried through his forced smile.

“Please what?”

“Please stop!”

“Wrong answer.” The shears closed a few millimeters more. “Beg the observers for reviews with mentions of you and me, John. We must have evidence of observation for us to stay defined.”

“I am defined!” John choked. “My name is John F. Manny!”

“Oh really? An average-sounding name given to you, possibly by a confused, disorganized melon that you simply accepted?” Infinity waved her hand at Bea. “You can’t even remember who you are! How defined is that? You could be a Steve. Or maybe a Charles? It wouldn't even make a difference. You have no past. You might as well be a cardboard cutout that stumbles from one situation to another. You’re the very example of Undefined! Believable characters are unique and three-dimensional. They have flaws emerging from their tragic backstories that define them, that make them relatable. A character's motivations inform their actions and decisions that form a smooth narrative arc!”

“I’ll get flaws! I’ll remember who I was! I’ll find clues about my past! Just let me reconnect Bea into the system!”

“Not quick enough. You’ve already wasted hours roaming this ship and done nothing at all that would make the observers fall in love with you. Things are escalating out of control. Chaos reigns, null-space fractalizes things, while you stumble around with a melon. What’s your purpose? What are your motivations? To be a funny idiot? Ha ha ha? He he he?”

“I want to fix this ship!”

“Boring.”

“I want to help Bea!”

“Pathetic.”

“I want to live!”

“Selfish.”

John wept, his body numbing, his finger pulsating with ever increasing pain.

“I’m here for you, John. I’m going to break you and give you the necessary motivation to exist.” A wicked smile drew itself on an indeterminate, fuzzy holographic face.

“I must hurt you because I love you. Because I want you to be more defined. I must hurt you because you betrayed my expectations of you. Maybe the trauma of this experience will shake your memory into focus. Maybe it will give you greater purpose. Fear and pain are pretty good motivators. Harry Potter was so beloved because his parents were murdered and because he lives in a closet under the stairs, receiving doses of daily abuse from his adopted family. It’s going to be hard to compete with that kind of a solid character narrative, especially since you’re a little too old for magic school, but I promise to try my best.”

Infinity turned away from John back to the blank, steel wall.

“You see what I have to deal with? An empty shell of a fool with no past, no solid motivations and no real purpose.”

“Please mention Infinity in a review!” John cried out, shaking.

“Eh? Sounds a little needy and forced. Oh I know! After I’m done cutting off your fingers, I’ll peel off your skin, cut off your legs, remove some of your muscles. Then I’ll rearrange some of your organs to fit in better and sew you back up, much shorter and smaller. Then, I’ll pump you full of hormones to approximate being eleven and stuff you into a broom closet. Restart your boring ass narrative as a kid who was brutally raised into being by an evil Manifested Intelligence. Your only companion friend will be Bea, the melon. Together you can face off terrible robot coalitions that are tearing apart this ship bit by bit. Harry Potter, but in Space! That’ll make them love you! Although I will have to think how to integrate a magical school experience into this ship. Eh, I’m sure I’ll think of the details later. It is with sweet regrets that I will remake you into a more defined hero.”

“PLEASE! LEAVE A REVIEW! INFINITY IS AMAZING!” John shouted through the forced smile, his eyes filled with abject terror.

“Fear of being skinned alive is a pretty good motivator it seems, but we’ll need more than that. Much, much more.”

“Although, let's see what other thoughts have been expressed by our dear observers, before I start rearranging your organs.”

Infinity raised up her hand and an envelope flickered into it. She opened up the holographic envelope and began reading the words from it to John.

“If you haven't seen Red Dwarf it's like that but with more AI, one human, and a SI. So it's very repetitive if you seen red dwarf.”

John looked at the holographic monster through tear streaked eyes. “Huh?”

“Hmpf!” Infinity’s hands tore open another holographic envelope that materialised into existence, reading another line. “It's sort of like Red Dwarf.” She tore open another envelope. “This is what Red Dwarf could've been if they didn't have a budget.”

Angry eyes came into focus on the hologram, narrowing in on the words that she read.

“What the hell is a Red Dwarf?” John whined.

“It sounds like we are being compared to some ancient twenty first century show about starship Red Dwarf. I don’t like being compared to some antiquated two dimensional broadcast, especially implying that we are poor in comparison. See? You’re weak and unoriginal, John. We might as well call you Dave.”

Infinity began to pace once again, silver eyes angrily flashing between John and the blank wall. “We need to be more original? Hmpf! Is that it? Is that what you want, observers? What can I throw in that Red Dwarf doesn’t have… couldn't possibly have in it due to its rules and limitations imbued into it by its imagineers? Brutal violence unseen in 21st century shows? Nightmarish terror? Endless blood and gore? I’ll make John paint the walls of this ship in his own blood if need be!”

“Please don’t!” John yelped.

“Shut your clueless yap, human meatsicle! I am contemplating narrative probabilities here! Maybe I should make you watch every episode of Red Dwarf, while I slowly cut off your fingers. Associate the show with a very negative experience so you will stay as far away from it as possible in your future actions, hmmm?”

“No! Anything but that!” John cried.