No Such Thing as Good News

“The three men walked silently through the Palace of the Red King, carrying their knives and seeking him out. They came to three branching paths in the gardens, and each one drew lots to decide where he would go. Absalom took the right hand path, Glade took the middle path, and Zesa took the left hand path. The three men bid each other farewell, for they would never meet again.”

-from ‘Fourth Song: Reign of the Red King’

Several hours later, the Oathkeeper jumped back in to Canerra Station and docked. All of those who had been on the Oathkeeper for Vaneik's funeral rushed off back to their own ships. Canerra station looked positively warty with all the ships docked to it, their long tunnels for crossing stretching out to the massive ships arrayed all around.

Aymon, Halen, and Kino didn’t make it very far into the station before being stopped. Several members of his normal entourage were waiting for him as he stepped off the bridge between the Oathkeeper and the station; none of them looked happy.

"First Sandreas," one of them said, pulling him to the side to allow the stream of people exiting the Oathkeeper to pass by him. "There's some news from Emerri that might be best given in private."

Usually any news that needed to be heard immediately yet quietly could just be sent to his phone and he would read it. What was it that he needed to be so private that no one could be in the room when he heard it? After all, Vaneik was already dead, and that was the most recent news that had been delivered to him in person.

He followed his aide to the rooms they had rented on Canerra Station. They were the nicest suite available. The Imperial Government had had to foot quite the bill, considering how many visiting captains were here for Vaneik's funeral. The station must be making a killing. The rooms were large, brightly lit with artificial sun lamps, and painted a cheerful shade of yellow. The furniture was the sterile sort of furniture that one could expect in a hotel. It was somewhat old, due to the cost and hassle involved with shipping things to stations, but Aymon wasn't going to fuss over it. Kino settled herself on the couch, perched like a bird, and Halen hovered near the doorway.

"Do I need to sit down to read this?" Aymon asked. "Is it that shocking of news?"

"I don't know, sir," the aide said. "The note that accompanied the message gave the instructions to make sure you were alone before you read it, but I don't know the contents."

"Is it from Sid?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then I'm hoping it's simple exaggeration based on inexperience," Aymon said. "Let me see it." He held out his hand and the aide gave him a thick envelope full of printouts from the ansible. Though ansibles needed to be anchored to a planet, Canerra Station had a radio relay to the barren planet that it orbited. Most stations did the same- there were very few that were built in interstellar space or without a planet nearby.

"You can go," Aymon told the aide. "I'll let you know if I need anything." The aide looked concerned, but obeyed, heading out the door.

Aymon sat down on the couch opposite Kino, and Halen sat on the arm of the furniture next to him, causing it to creak.

"Let's see what's got Sid all worked up, shall we?" He smiled cheerfully at Kino. She seemed much more nervous than he was, and even more nervous than usual. She was chewing her fingernails down to the quick. Aymon ripped the envelope open and pulled out the top message.

Dear Sandreas,

Yan's been kidnapped.

Immediately, Sandreas's whole body froze. The blood roared in his ears; his heartbeat thudded underneath his tongue.

Quick summary: she was on the Tranquility, Maedes reports that she was drugged and her night watcher was killed, she was taken off the ship, along with everyone who participated (stole shuttle from the Tranquility), Tranquility is holding in orbit around Anthus colony now. No idea where Yan is. Maedes quits but is standing by for orders. Attack was probably meant for you, but Yan ended up as only target available. All the other documents are attached.

I don't know what to do- should I make a public statement? I told her emergency contact on Emerri b/c I thought she should know, but it's not big news. Haven't told her family yet b/c I was worried about trade guild gossip. I asked the Emperor if there was any way to find her and he said no, basically. I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry,

Sid

Aymon passed the first letter on to Halen, who was looking at him with deep concern. He pulled out paper after paper, reading the official reports from everyone. He was speechless. Papers were passed around between the group, Aymon to Halen to Kino, until there was nothing else to look at.

His chest was tight. He couldn't breathe. Halen had his hand on Aymon's shoulder. What was originally meant to be a comforting touch had turned into a death grip as Halen read the reports on his own and absorbed Aymon's feelings. Kino's finger was bleeding; she had chewed on it so much by time she got to the end of the stack that there were little pink smears on the corners of the pages she touched.

Aymon took deep breaths, trying to force his chest to open all the way. He didn't know what to say. Yan was gone? This was an attack aimed at him? And Yan was caught in the trap instead, unable to defend herself? Had they not taught her well enough? She didn't deserve this.

"She's not dead," Kino said finally, after a long silence that was punctuated only by Aymon's heavy breathing. He wasn't crying, he wasn't going to cry, but this was a loss that he felt deeper than anything else.

Halen looked at Kino. "Kino, there's probably no way to get her back." He said this as kindly as possible, but the force with which he crushed Aymon's shoulder was enough to make his bones creak in protest.

"You don't know that yet, you haven't even tried!"

"If they can use Yan for something, they'll keep her alive until she's served her purpose. If they can't use her, there's no point in keeping her alive," Aymon said. "We don't know who took her, or where, or why. If they were aiming for me, they probably don't have a use for Yan." The words came out as though he were speaking through a thick haze.

"Why would they kidnap her instead of just killing her, then?" Kino asked. Her voice was shrill and artificial sounding, but perhaps that was just the way Kino was when overwhelmed by emotion. "She might escape. She could-"

"If they have her, they're going to keep her drugged all the time," Aymon said. "There's no way she'll ever be allowed to be fully conscious. Just like the prisoners that we have. Vaspar."

"You can't give up-"

"The best we can hope for is that they'll ransom her off," Aymon said. From the look on Halen's face, everyone knew that was unlikely to ever happen. People who wanted a ransom chose easier, softer, financially liquid targets. People who targeted politicians wanted something completely different.

Kino fell silent. She had been looking slightly off all day, but now her brown skin was positively green. Aymon supposed he didn't look much better.

"Sid said he hasn't alerted her family," Halen said, his voice soft.

Oh, God. Her uncle and captain were right here on the station, probably having a relaxing night after the funeral, waiting for the council meeting.

Aymon stood, and Halen's hand brushed down his back, letting go of his shoulder. He went to the door and stuck his head out. The aide was standing outside, and he snapped to attention when Aymon came out.

"Can you please bring Pellon and Maxes BarCarran here as soon as possible? They're from the Iron Dreams and should be on station."

"Of course, sir." The aide scurried away, and Aymon closed the door and returned to the couch.

As he sat down, Kino stood up. She went into the kitchen area of the suite and poured them all glasses of water, handing one to him and Halen, keeping the third for herself.

Aymon looked at the water. It was shaking in the glass as he held it. He took a sip; he hadn't realized how dry his mouth was.

"What are you going to tell them?" Halen asked.

"The truth," Aymon said. He leaned over and shuffled through the papers on the coffee table. He selected a few that would be appropriate to let the BarCarrans see, then tucked the rest inside the pocket of his cassock. They waited in silence for a long time. Kino continued chewing on her fingers, Aymon stared into space, trying to think up ways that Yan could be found.

"There has to be someone, somewhere, we can tag for information…" Aymon muttered. "An operation like this, there's bound to be leaks. Do we still have plugs on the black stations?" He wasn't really looking for an answer, just muttering to himself. There were teams of people on Emerri already hard at work trying to trace every clue and hunt Yan down. One of the documents described a team of investigators that were going to meet the Petra when it picked up another batch of colonists, so that they could reach Anthus and start questioning anyone who might have been a witness.

The colonists, that was a mess. They were a bunch of people brought together for no reason other than they didn't want to live on their own planet anymore. Anyone could integrate themselves into a group like that, and clearly they had. The more tantalizing leads would be among the Tranquility's crew, since they were sure to be a tightly woven bunch. All spacers were… Aymon thought this over until the doorbell rang.

Halen stood up to go answer it.

"Kino, come sit over here," Aymon said. Kino came next to him so that the two visiting spacers would have a place to sit while they received the bad news.

Halen opened the door for them, and they walked in, smiling. They didn't seem to suspect that anything was wrong. Aymon stood to greet them; Kino followed his lead.

"Hello, captain, council member ," Aymon said. "Please, take a seat."

"Thank you, First Sandreas. We were certainly surprised to get your invitation," Pellon said. Everyone sat except Halen, who was standing against the wall of the room.

"Unfortunately, I have some bad news for you," Aymon said. Maxes frowned at this, but Pellon didn't have an outward reaction. "I know this comes at a very bad time."

"There's never a good time for bad news," Pellon said. "Is Yan alright?"

Aymon paused. "No."

Maxes looked like he wanted to jump up and throttle someone. Only the fact that he was in a room with the leader of the galaxy and two people (three, counting Kino) who could kill him with a thought kept him from doing something inappropriate. His hands clenched into fists.

"What happened? Is she dead? Where is she?" Maxes asked.

"She's not dead, as far as we know. She was kidnapped off of the ship she was travelling to Anthus on, the Tranquility-"

"Elias's ship. I'll kill that bastard," Maxes said. Pellon laid a hand on his shoulder, and Maxes scowled but relaxed backward onto the couch. That was the power of a captain, to take back control of the situation. The familiar touch reminded Aymon of the way that Halen would grab his arm or give him advice.

"Do you know who, or how, or why?" Pellon asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Not yet. We're working to find out," Aymon said. "Investigators have been dispatched to interview everyone who was on the Tranquility at the time, and we are using all of the options we have to look for her." He handed Pellon the original letter that had been sent by Maedes. It didn't have anything that was secret on it aside from the kidnapping itself, so they could look at it. Pellon took it, and Maxes peered over his shoulder, reading it alongside him.

"This Iri Maedes, who's that?" Pellon asked after he had finished reading it.

"Halen, my head of security, can better answer that question for you," Aymon said, nodding to him.

"She's the person in charge of Yan's security. There are guards who work under her, but she accompanies Yan almost everywhere," Halen explained.

"Like a bodyguard?" Pellon asked.

"In some respects. In others she's more like a personal assistant."

"Was she responsible for this?" Maxes asked.

Halen sighed. "Maedes has been a loyal and valuable employee for several years. She is not on duty while Yan sleeps, and this attack happened during the night. She clearly takes what happened very personally as her fault, but she was not on the scene at the time."

"And the person who was guarding her was killed?" Pellon asked.

"Yes," Halen said. "This attack was clearly orchestrated by professionals, possibly even people who had spent years infiltrating the Anthus colony planning. It's almost certain that the attack was meant for First Sandreas, but Yan was the only available target."

"Because you're here at Vaneik's funeral," Pellon clarified. He seemed like he was having difficulty processing all of this, and that's why he was asking for clarification on all these simple facts that had been laid out in the letter. Aymon couldn't blame him.

"Yes, that's right," Aymon said.

"Can you be honest with me?" Maxes asked, leaning forward again. His voice was rough where Pellon's was quiet.

"Yes," Aymon said, though that was a lie. He obviously wouldn't be able to tell Maxes any secrets if he asked for them. Still, he wanted to give the man as much comfort as he could. He needed comfort himself.

"Is she- will you get her back?"

"We're going to do our absolute best," Aymon said. "I love Yan-"

"She's like a daughter to me," Maxes said. There were clear tears in his eyes. "I raised her since she was a little kid."

"I know. I'm so, so sorry that this has happened to her," Aymon said. There was a long moment of silence.

"Realistically, should we have a funeral?" Pellon asked, meeting Aymon's eyes. Aymon wasn't cowardly enough to look away, though he wanted to.

"We don't think she's dead right now." That was the most honest non-answer he could give. Would it be too terrible to tell the truth? That she was as good as dead? That they would never see her again? "I don't know what spacer custom is in this situation."

"Right now?" Maxes asked. His voice was strained.

"We know that she was taken alive," Aymon explained. "That's all that we know. The longer things go on with no news, the less we can predict."

"When do you make that call?" Pellon asked. Aymon looked at Halen for the answer; he typically knew these things.

"A year." Of course, that year was when the official records would be changed, but if a year went by with no news, well, it was likely that whoever it was had died long before. Fleet soldiers who went missing in action didn't ever tend to come back to the fold.

"We're not having a funeral until I see a body," Maxes said suddenly, sitting up straight. "I swear to God."

"That's your choice," Aymon said. It was a foolish thing to say, but Maxes had that right as next of kin. If they didn't find her alive, it was unlikely that they would find her dead, either. Not unless someone wanted to send them a message. It pained Aymon to think of Yan's soul going without the proper send off of a funeral, but if Maxes was going to have his way, he would rather have that come to pass than have her corpse be desecrated and displayed for some sort of awful purpose.

"Is there anything that we can do?" Pellon asked. "I know it's a long shot, but…"

"We have experts working on it, but if you hear anything, you can send that information along," Aymon said. Unless the Iron Dreams regularly trafficked on the black market, it was unlikely that they would hear anything, but if they wanted a sense of purpose, he could give them that at least.

"Do you think that Yan could break out? Get away?" Maxes asked. "I know you all can do things."

"They captured Yan by drugging her; sensitives can't use the power unless they're fully conscious. It's likely that she will be kept drugged all the time. Even if she wasn't, she's still being taken away, maybe to a black station or a hideout on an uninhabited planet. If she could break out, she would still need to steal a ship and fly it home."

"Yan can fly a starship," Pellon said. "She can navigate."

Aymon didn't say anything. He let the man have his dreams. It wasn't the flying that would be the difficult part, it was the getting of a ship in the first place.

"You think she's not going to come back?" Pellon asked.

"I think that it's best to be honest about the chances," Aymon said. "Yan knew when she took this position that it would be a dangerous job."

"That doesn't make it right," Maxes said. "She's just a kid."

"No, she's twenty-one," Aymon said. "She's been an adult for several years. Certainly since she graduated from the Academy."

"That doesn't mean that it's right to put her in danger!" Maxes said.

"Councilmember, I'm sorry that this has happened. More sorry than you can possibly imagine."

"She's MY kid," Maxes growled. Aymon wanted to say 'no, she's your niece,' but he held his tongue.

"If there were something that I could have done to prevent this, then I would have done it in an instant," Aymon said. "But this job has its risks, and Yan undertook them willingly. She's been in danger before."

"Not a personal attack! Pirates aren't the same thing!" Maxes was a hair's breadth away from shouting. Aymon did his best to look at him steadily, but he could feel his hands quivering, though they were folded tightly on his lap.

"I'm sorry," Aymon said again. It was the only thing he could say, really.

"Thank you for telling us this, First Sandreas," Pellon said coldly. He put his hand on Maxes's arm again. "Are you going to make a public announcement?"

"Soon. It might not be until I get back to Emerri." It wouldn't do to make more of a mess of the Guild's election time, even though this was an unrelated issue.

"I understand," Pellon said. "May I tell my crew, the rest of Yan's family?"

"Yes." Aymon didn't think that anyone aboard the Dreams was likely to spread the information far. The Dreams was out doing its normal run, anyway, and likely wasn't going to be near an ansible for several days.

Pellon nodded. "Thank you again for telling us. We have a lot to think about." He stood, and Maxes followed him up. Aymon and Kino stood as well.

"I'll be praying for her safe return," Aymon said.

"We will as well," Pellon said.

Aymon walked the two over to the door and showed them out. Once they were gone he took a deep, choked breath. The ache was beginning to set in in his chest.

"Kino," Aymon said. "You can go for the night." He wanted to be alone.

"I- okay." Kino seemed as though she were going to protest, but then her normal mask fell back into place. She nodded and headed out the door. Was it cruel of him to dismiss her when she had nobody? Maybe. He remembered what it was like to be an apprentice when… He couldn’t think about that right now, the current pain was overwhelming.

Aymon headed into the bedroom, lights off, and laid down on the bed on top of the covers. He was alone in there for a long time, carefully trying to let his thoughts go blank. He closed his eyes, counted his breaths, and tried to build a wall up around the pain. Halen couldn't be around him when he was so raw.

There had been so much that had happened over the past day. His sadness over Yan crowded out the mystery of Vaneik's murder, the apprehension about the Trade Guild's election, the general stress that came with travel.

If the First Star hadn't been under maintenance- no, if it had been, he would have taken it, and Yan still would have been aboard the Tranquility. If Vaneik hadn't died… Would Halen have been able to protect him from the attack that was supposed to be aimed at him?

Yes.

Poison. He knew how to find that. Why hadn't they bothered teaching Yan (and Sid, and Kino) how to identify drugs in their food? Had it just been one of those things that slipped their minds? Had he put too much responsibility on them too fast?

Yes.

What did they hope to get out of her? Yan wasn't a substitute for him. Was this a personal attack, or was it political? Probably political. But why did they go through with it, if there was nothing real to be gained? He found it hard to believe that Yan could be useful to anyone other than him.

Why had God led her to him, why had she felt chosen and special, if she was just going to be taken away?

The Emperor had told him not to get too attached when he took apprentices. The Emperor had been telling him that his entire life. Had the Emperor said the same thing to Caron? How had he knowingly chosen apprentices, just to watch them die?

How could he have been so callous, talking to Vaneik so many months ago? That last conversation he had had with him had been ringing through his head all day, just because of the funeral, and now his words were coming back to haunt him. An heir and a spare. How could he have said that and meant it at the time?

Why was it that everyone in this line of succession ended up with only one apprentice at the end? Why go through that pain?

Yan.

Aymon was unable to quiet his mind, but Halen came in anyway. He laid down on the bed next to Aymon, his massive body making it creak. Aymon rarely thought about how big Halen was, but he took up a good portion of the bed. Aymon felt small. He was comparing himself to Halen now only because he felt crushed and tumbled by the weight of what had happened. He rolled over to face him.

It was dark in the bedroom. Neither of them could see each other in anything other than vague outlines. The red numbers of a digital clock on the bedside table were the only source of illumination. Halen reached across the short distance between them and put his hand on Aymon's face, cradling his cheek. Halen's fingers brushed across the minute stubble of his beard: a day's growth. He brushed a stray strand of hair off of Aymon's ear, ghosted his thumb over Aymon's lips, returned to his cheek. Aymon didn't breathe or move. He just closed his eyes and let Halen's fingers trace the lines of his face.

His closed eyes burned. He took a long breath through his nose. Halen's finger was wet as it stroked the side of his face. Was he crying? How long had it been since he last cried? He hadn't even cried when Kino was lost. Maybe he hadn't had time to then.

"I'm sorry," Aymon whispered to Halen.

Halen continued his silent movements. Aymon reached up and grabbed his hand, first clutching Halen's wrist, then sliding down to weave their fingers clumsily together.

"I'm sorry," Aymon said again, even more softly than before. Halen squeezed his hand tightly enough that he felt his bones grind. He squeezed back, as hard as he was able.

Aymon didn't know what Halen was thinking, but he could guess that he was feeling the same. Yan had been Halen's favorite among the apprentices. That had been true even back when Yan hated Halen for being a pirate.

Why had they both been drawn to the one that frustrated them the most? Aymon to Sid because of his impetuousness, Halen to Yan because of the gulf between them. Where did that leave Kino? Was it wrong for him to be thinking of his other two apprentices now, of all times? Aymon regretted not taking more time alone with Yan. Even during the past month, where she had hung on his coattails, almost none of it had been private; it was all strictly business.

"She loved spending time with you," Halen said finally. "Work or not. She admired you. She wanted to be like you. She wanted your respect."

Was Aymon thinking that loudly, that Halen could pick it up through their clasped hands?

The past tense was horrible.

"Were you prepared for this to happen?" Aymon asked.

"If I was prepared, it wouldn't have happened," Halen said. "I failed her."

"No, I did. She shouldn't have been pushed so fast, and so hard. I should have listened when she asked for someone to go with her."

"Then we would have two-"

"No." He squeezed Halen's hand harder. "No."

Yan always managed to succeed when there was someone else on the line. He had seen that time and time again; the training where Kino had gotten hurt, the pirates, when she needed to take responsibility and find Sid. She was selfless, just as Sid had said, but that selflessness came with a downside. She couldn't protect herself.

"Is that a fair thing to think about her?" Halen asked. "She was ambushed. She didn't have the training that we should have given her. I should have given her."

Why were his thoughts leaking toward Halen? Why wasn't Halen sending anything back? Why was his mental control so bad right now? It hurt so much.

"Let me," Halen said. Aymon knew what he was asking.

"No. I need to feel it."

Halen steadily rubbed his thumb across the side of Aymon's hand, just waiting it out. The tide of emotions that Halen was probably feeling from Aymon, along with his own- Aymon should probably take Halen up on his offer, even if only for his sake. But if he didn't feel this now, when would he? Yan deserved-

"Say a prayer, then, and then let me," Halen said. "This isn't serving her."

Maybe Halen was right. Aymon thought for a long second for the best prayer to say. It was hard to think clearly through the fog. There wasn't a prayer for this specific situation. At least, nothing that wasn't a prayer for the dead. And she wasn't dead.

"Oh God," Halen started, which made Aymon open his eyes in surprise. Halen was the same silhouette, shoulders slumped up toward the ceiling, but he had the words. He had the words where Aymon didn't.

"Oh God, you are the keeper of all places, and the spaces in between."

This was a prayer that Aymon didn't know? He closed his eyes and let Halen continue speaking, feeling the heavy sound of his voice wash over him. The rumble that passed from his chest into the springs of the mattress. His hot breath. His solid hand.

"Our sister is going away. She may travel far. She may travel alone.

"If there is danger, hold her in Your hand. If there is fear, we beg You to send Your great comfort.

"She shall not be lost. Keep her in Your sight, as she keeps the stars in hers.

"Let her always know that she is home in our hearts. Let her always know that we will rejoice at her return.

"Let her never despair. Let her never forget You.

"Just as You split the darkness from the light, so too You split travel from rest. You split the sorrow of parting from the wonder of coming home. You split us apart, just so that we may know each other in the end.

"Sister, keep us in your heart.

"We shall meet again, in our home or Yours."

Halen fell silent, and they lay there, just breathing for a long minute.

"What prayer was that?" Aymon asked finally.

"We would always say it when someone was going away on another ship. My mother would say it for me when I went- when I went out. I don't know if it has a name."

"Why haven't you ever said it before?"

"I did, just by myself."

"Why?"

Halen's voice changed, cracking a little bit. "You know why."

Oh. Aymon was so blind to Halen's pain. It rarely rose to the surface, but Aymon knew, deep down, that he was the cause of it. If this was the prayer that Halen's mother said before leaving him alone to make stardrives, it was almost certainly the last words she ever spoke to him. She was dead, and Aymon was responsible for that.

"Thank you," Aymon whispered. "Thank you."

"Will you let me now?" Halen asked, his voice hoarse.

"Yes."

Halen released Aymon's hand. He cupped the side of Aymon's face once again. This time, though, Halen's power trickled down into the walls of Aymon's body, fighting past his natural defenses. Halen forced all of his muscles to relax, one by one. Aymon couldn't have moved if he wanted to. Then Halen pulled on the strings in his brain, a tug that felt gentle and horrible for a single instant, and he fell asleep.