This isn’t my World and it Pisses Me Off

Chapter 19

Ikari led Emerald back to the Demon Lands. Though, now that he thought about it maybe he should give it a different name. New Tokyo sounded like a cool name. New Kyoto? Neokyo? He’d brainstorm it later.

Awaiting him at the foot of the large hill was a series of different people in all shapes and sizes. He saw Amber holding a massive staff expectantly, and behind her were several surprisingly thin ogres. Along with a few goblins.

They saw their King emerge from the forest, followed by a walking bush. There was a brief moment of confusion, before Emerald’s head popped out of the bush, looking at the orcs and goblins on the ground.

“Before anyone does anything!” Ikari exclaimed, immediately noticing the group at the bottom stiffen upon Emeralds reveal. “And because I’ve seen this too often. She has agreed to help us build our wall. So do not, under any circumstances, try and fight her.”

His words immediately calmed the previously agitated group, Amber resting against the tall metal pole. Ikari wondered if that was her weapon of choice, and if it had any enchantments or anything. The Demon King blinked as he watched a handful of ogres and goblins approach the two of them.

“Um. Miss Tree Lady. We is sorry for hurting your treeses.” A small goblin that appeared to be missing one of his fingers said.

“We not mean to hurt trees. We only follow Demon King orders.” An ogre with deep blue skin said, several scars decorating his form. Ikari looked to Emerald, who appeared to be confused about something.

“I have worked over the incident with Ikari.” She explained. At her words, the group of goblins and ogres slackened visibly in relief. “But, I thought Beezlebub was dead. Who did you take your orders from?” She asked.

There was a second of silence, before every head turned to look at Ikari.

“WAIT YOU’RE THE DEMON KING NOW?!” Emerald exclaimed, receding into her bush and looking somewhat like a leafy turtle.

“Yeah- I mean- kinda.” Ikari made several gestures with his hands, before his head fell with a sigh. “Yeah. Stuck here and I wanted to spite that bastard Otto. So I wanted to become a better King than he was.”

“Not much of a bar you’re setting.” Amber said slyly. The words caused Ikari to snigger, covering his mouth before letting out a short laugh.

Emerald watched this interaction, realising that just because Ikari was the Demon King, it didn’t mean he was a bad person like Beezlebub. Plus, she’s seen his Virtues. She knows he’s a good person. “If you are referring to the Human King Otto, I have to agree.”

The Dryad crossed her arms and looked to the side, her lips coming together in an odd pout. “Humans are the worst. They cut down forests and then act like we’re the bad guy for trying to stop them.”

While the ogres and goblins and Amber all agreed, talking with the Dryad, Ikari realised an issue. “How am I meant to make housing without wood? Would wood even be good here? There’s so much fire.” He tried to think of how he could make proper homes, before he heard something loud and obnoxious.

“What the Hell is that?” He asked aloud, hearing an annoyingly loud horn come from somewhere in the distance. The goblins and ogres both looked confused, scratching their heads in confusion.

However, Amber and Emerald seemed to share a look of fear, one that immediately set Ikari on edge. “That’s a war horn.” Amber whispered out, her grip on her weapon tightening.

“A human war horn.” Emerald finished, looking off into the distance where the sound had originated. Ikari’s eyes went wide, and he tensed up, ready to dash off and find out what was going on, before he had an idea.

“Emerald.” He said shortly, the Dryad snapping to attention almost immediately. “Give the seeds to these guys.” He gestured to the group before them. “Plant them at even spaces along the border or wherever the humans are approaching. Wait for my signal.”

He turned to the Dullahan, Amber looking ready and waiting for whatever command she would be given. “Where are they approaching from?”

In response, Amber tossed her staff up in the air, as it spun for a moment before pointing away from them. He nodded to himself thinking things over in his head. “Alright. Get Jade. I feel like I’ll need some advice.”

He still didn’t know how to fight, and even if he was overpowered as Hell , a war horn was usually followed by an army. He had never fought an army by himself before. If that wasn’t obvious, the fact he was only a seventeen year old would probably help prove that fact.

“I will stall for as long as I can. Bring Jade and whoever else you think will help.” With that, his legs clenched, and he shot off to see what the Hell Otto was up to this time.

---

“Welp. I’m fucked.”

Ikari got to the border of the Demon Lands, where grass and flowers turned to cracked earth and ash, and about a hundred metres before him was an army made up of what was easily thousands of soldiers.

He let out a breath, his eyes wide as he looked at the dozen catapults and other instruments of war he wasn’t entirely sure of the name of. At the front of it all was a man riding upon a pure white horse, who looked absolutely stuffed into the armour he was wearing.

Ikari guessed he was just there for show. To gain some recognition and sway back in Larune. He tapped his foot for a second, trying to figure out how he would ‘overpower’ his way out of this one.

“IKARI YASASHI!” A voice exclaimed, causing Ikari to wince and clean out one of his ears. He wondered how this guy knew this name, because he didn’t recall mentioning it at all when he was in the castle.

“THE FUCK D’YOU WANT?!” Ikari yelled back, unsure if his voice carried all the way to the army.

It seemed to, as the figure atop the horse shifted angrily. “YOU ARE TO RETURN TO LARUNE IMMEDIATELY, AND THE DEMON LANDS ARE TO BE UNDER THE RULE OF THE GREAT KING OTTO, LONG MAY HE REIGN.”

The last part was echoed a thousand times over by all the soldiers behind the figurehead. Ikari was mildly impressed at the blind allegiance of a thousand men.

In response to the statement, Ikari raised his fist to his mouth and coughed loudly, clearing his throat. He then removed it, and opened his mouth to speak. Only to bring it back and cough even louder.

He took a great amount of enjoyment upon seeing the man upon the horse lose his patience. After one last fake throat clearing, he spoke. “NO.”

With that, he turned his back to an army.

He didn’t even need eyes in the back of his head to know hundreds of arrows were just unleashed. He could hear the rush of wind through the air, and stopped in his tracks before turning back around. He watched hundreds of arrows aiming right for him.

He knew that his armour would protect him, so he pulled his crown off his head for a moment and pulled his hood up. Yeah, seeing a dozen or so arrows bounce of your enemy would definitely be intimidating and probably scare the Hell out of every soldier there.

But you know what would be even better?

Time slowed to a crawl, and then a stop as Ikari watched the arrows freeze a foot above his head. Just as he reached up to grab one from the air, he had an idea that just made him laugh to himself.

He turned back around for a moment, and took out his phone. He turned on the camera and set it to the front. He held up a peace sign and smiled, hundreds of arrows pointing towards him in the background. Once the picture had taken, and he made sure it did and that there was no strange magic interference he turned his attention back to the arrows.

He reached up and plucked one out of the air, placing it in his other hand. He then plucked another, and another, and another.

It was like picking flowers, plucking them from the air and making them into a bouquet for a pretty girl. Eventually, the air was picked free of flowers, and Ikari had a beautiful bouquet in his hands.

Time returned back to normal, and he could see the look of shock on the soldiers faces from where he was standing. “What just happened?” Ikari turned around in surprise, seeing Amber standing there, next to Jade whose mouth was wide open.

“Oh, hey. Didn’t see you there.” He looked at the arrows in his hand, the fletchings pointing upward towards the air, actually mildly resembling a bouquet of flowers. He smirked to himself and handed them to Jade.

“For the lovely lady.” He joked, as the cat girl took the arrows without thinking. “So, what do you suggest?” He asked Amber and Jade, turning back around to face the army.

“We have never seen such a force of Humans before. I do not know why they have come in such numbers.” Amber told him as she gripped her staff tightly. Her words caused Ikari to realise something.

“Amber, do you have a Sonorous Crystal?” Ikari asked calmly. The Dullahan blinked in surprise, before nodding and taking out the purple item. Ikari thanked her, turned around and screamed.

“OI!” His voice echoed across the army, the shuffling of armour and swords falling still under his exclamation. “WHY THE FUCK DID YOUS ONLY COME AS AN ARMY TO INVADE NOW!? WERE YOU ABLE TO DO THIS AT ANY MOMENT?!”

It hadn’t even been a full day yet, and already there was an army at his doorstep. How the Hell they had managed to get here so quicklys was beyond him.

“THAT IS OF NO CONCERN TO YOU!” The figure upon the horse exclaimed. “YOU WERE A HERO SENT TO DEAL WITH THE ISSUE OF THE DEMON KING!? NOW THAT ISSUE IS GONE, YOU ARE NO LONGER NECESSARY.”

With that, he raised his weapon, pointing it at Ikari menacingly. Ikari was about to shout back that he was the issue now into his crystal, but he froze. The weapon he was holding was a bright blue mace. The man upon the horse noticed his enemies sudden stiffness, and smiled wickedly.

“NOW DO YOU REALISE THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS?! YOU FACE THE MIGHT OF THE LARUNE ARMY! YOU ARE NO MA-” “Where did you get that mace?” Suddenly, Ikari was right next to the speaker, quite literally standing upon his horse and staring down at him.

The rider tried to leap back in surprise, but ended up falling off his horse thanks to the precarious positioning. He hit the ground and Ikari jumped down, his feet cracking the ground thanks to the intensity of his actions.

Several arrows hit his torso, before falling to the ground uselessly as he approached the fallen rider. “WHERE DID YOU GET IT?!” He yelled, reaching down to grab him. The rider crawled backwards and swung the mace wildly.

Ikari held a hand out, planning to stop it in its tracks. Instead, the moment it made contact, Ikari felt himself suddenly flying through the air. His lungs had been completely emptied, and the bars at the bottom of his vision showed his health had been cut in half.

It lasted for only a second, before his Health Regeneration Enchantment kicked in and he was immediately back up to full health. He swallowed what blood would have been coughed up and was about to speak to himself, before he crashed into a mountain.

A massive crater formed around him, reducing the mountains scale immensely. Once again, he noticed a dip in his health before it was brought right back up. “Ok. Note to self.” He winced, sitting up in the crater. “Madyline’s mace, is stronger than my armour.”

Even from where he had crashed into the mountain, he could hear the booming voice of the asshole who had just hit him. “HAHAHA! I HAVE DEFEATED HIM! THE ROGUE HERO! THE WORLD WILL KNOW THE NAME OF BARON VON HELBERG! AND THOSE TREASONOUS PRISONERS WHO AIDED HIM WILL BE EXECUTED!”

Ikari stood up immediately and drew his sword. He remembered his promise about no killing, and watched as Helberg raised the mace towards Jade and Amber. He took a breath, cracked the joints in his neck, and then moved.

In the blink of an eye, he was standing in front of Helberg once more, but this time, there was a key difference. “AHH!” The Baron exclaimed, swinging his arm once more.

What came to rest in front of Ikari was a bloody stump of an arm. It took a full two seconds for Helberg to realise what the issue was. “AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” The fat noble gripped where his arm had been severed.

Ikari reached down and picked up Madyline mace, kicking off the disgusting hand that had held it. With his other, he sheathed his sword and grabbed Helberg by the throat. “Where. Is. She.” His eyes glowed with a dangerous red energy, as he felt his anger bubbling.

“ATTACK!” The noble roared, as a hundred and one swords were unsheathe and swung at Ikari. They all broke, shattering down to the very handles and leaving those who attacked him defenceless. Ikari hadn’t moved, still staring down Helberg.

“Ikari!” He heard his name being called from behind him, so he reluctantly turned around. He saw Emerald waving, her arms floundering as leaves spilled everywhere. She gave him a thumbs up, and Ikari smiled at her.

“Fine. You don’t want to tell me.” He asked, turning around to face Helberg once more. With a shrug, he hurled him back into the army, bowling over several soldiers who attempted to catch him.

He turned and began to walk back towards Emerald, Amber and Jade. He also realised that Beezlebub must have had a thing for jewels, because all of the female members of the Demon Lands seemed to be named after one.

Regardless, he held his hand open to Amber and nodded to the still floating Sonorous Crystal. The Dullahan nodded immediately, grasping it and tossing it towards Ikari. He caught it easily, and reached into his pocket to remove a ring with a bright green emerald embedded in it.

He threw it towards Emerald, chuckling inwardly at the matching names. She seemed to understand what he wanted her to do, and slipped the ring on. Ikari turned back round, staring down the army that, upon realising their blades did nothing, had begun to set up the catapults and ballistas.

“You want to fight me? Go ahead.” He spoke into the crystal, his voice magnifying and reaching every ear within the army. “But know this. You aren’t fighting a rogue Hero anymore.” He raised his arm so that it was level with his shoulder, his palm facing upwards.

“You are fighting, the new, DEMON KING!” He clenched his fist and threw it skyward, just as the ballistas and catapults fired. Almost immediately, a huge shadow enveloped the area, and Ikari smiled.

The giant boulders and bolts were ineffective against the massive wall of oak that had sprung up from nowhere. At the top of it, huge bundles of leaves swayed ominously at the strikes, and a few bright red apples could be seen dangling from branches.

Emerald had played her part, growing the trees together in such a way that they actually became interwoven and formed a wall, rather than having to be cut down and made into one.

The sudden growth seemed to have sucked all life and fight from the army, as they looked upon it with wide and terrified eyes. “Now.” Ikari spoke once more into the crystal, feeling every single pair of eyes on him.

“Where. Is. Madyline.”