This Isn’t My World, And It Pisses Me Off

Chapter 11

“I want to enchant my bracelet. Maybe a few rings.” Some for him, some for Madyline. Maybe there was an enchantment of “Keep ugly bastards away from me”. Though that would mean she couldn’t serve a single noble in the castle.

“Heh.” Ikari grinned.

“You’re thinking of something treasonous, aren’t you.” Madyline deadpanned, reading his expression.

“Not treasonous,” Ikari justified. “Just, not very kind to the nobles here.” He chuckled to himself while Madyline wondered if his enchantments would protect him against a beheading.

They probably would, she realised. The axe would shatter and he’d drink some potion or other and completely turn the tables.

The two returned to the castle, the guards raising the gate to let them through. Ikari was surprised that there was no angry mob or protesters at the gate to go against the King's taxes. The guards at the gate were fairly nasty looking, so maybe no one was brave enough to try anything.

Or maybe the fact it was a King meant that it was a monarchy and that no one could oppose his rule. So much politics, so much that didn’t matter to him in the long run of defeating the Demon King and going home.

Ikari made his way throughout the castle, a few nobles double taking when they saw him due to his upgraded clothes. Behind him, Madyline followed along diligently as a proper maid should do. A few people whispered behind them at his new attire, but Ikari couldn’t care less for their words.

They entered the Enchanting Room, and Ikari let out a breath as he walked over to the books. Madyline watched with some curiosity after closing the door behind her.

“This is gonna hurt like a-” His words were cut off by a yell of pain as he opened the book and a flood of knowledge entered his brain. Ikari fell to his knees, clutching his head as he felt something drip from his nose.

“Yeah, that checks.” He rubbed his nose with his knuckle, seeing the blood on his fists.

“W-What did you do?” Madyline exclaimed, running up to Ikari and dabbing at his nose with a white cloth.

“I learned around a hundred new enchantments to make sure I can beat him.” He answered, sniffing once the cloth had gone. He might’ve been exaggerating. He wasn’t sure. There was so much information swirling around in his head.

“That is very dangerous.” Madyline chastised, placing the cloth on a bookshelf. “You should take care to only learn what you need to.”

“I don’t know how to do that.” Ikari told her. Besides, it was probably better in the long run. He turned to the Enchanting Bench and slipped his bracelet off. He placed it on the table and waited for the screen to pop up.

It took a bit longer than usual for some reason, but eventually the Enchanting Menu appeared.

Surprisingly, instead of his bracelet in the middle of the Item shape, one of the small metal beads could be seen. “What the…?” He stared at the bead. Why wasn’t the whole thing selected?

He swiped at the bead, and another appeared. He kept swiping, bead after bead showing up instead of the entire bracelet. He swiped once more, and stopped. The small metal crown that made up the middle of his bracelet was shown.

“Oh. I get it.” He swiped once more, starting at the first metal bead.

“Get what? Hero Sir?” Madyline asked.

Ikari let out a sigh, but held in a complaint about not calling him by name. “The Enchantment Table has a specific set of rules.” He had been studying game design in college, before he ended up in this world.

“And those rules probably define a ring as: A piece of round metal with a hole in it.” He lifted his bracelet off the table to show Madyline. She looked confused, until Ikari pulled at one of the beads.

“So, the Enchanting Table thinks that your bracelet is just several rings?” She asked.

“Exactly.” Ikari smiled, setting the ring back down. “And that means, I can have…” He quickly counted the beads. “Thirtytwo enchantments. Well, thirtythree if the crown counts.”

Madyline looked shocked, but Ikari quickly got to work. He set the bracelet back down and picked an enchantment. “Potion, please.” He requested, holding out his hand and feeling the [Potion Of High Enchantment] being given to him.

He drank it and cast replenish. “Ok, first enchantment will be…” He scrolled down, selecting the one he thought best.

[Increase Health] was selected, and sparks of magic flew to the first bead. Ikari smiled, and moved onto the next bead. Through it all, Madyline watched with a morbid fascination.

“He’ll actually do it.” She whispered to herself, watching as enchantment after enchantment was placed on Ikari’s bracelet. “He’ll beat him…”

She thought back to what Eliza had told her, about making sure Ikari’s Kindness outweighed his Wrath. She was certain it did, but, if she told him now, while in the King’s castle, he might do something he’d regret.

She kept quiet, promising to herself that she’d tell him once they were out of the King’s reach. “That should be good.” Ikari lifted up the bracelet and stared at it critically.

“But, you did not need to refill your mana?” Madyline asked, recalling that enchanting her own clothes had practically made him starve.

“Oh, yeah, that’s cause I’m not an idiot.” He smirked, showing the third and fourth beads specifically. “Increase Mana, Increase Mana Regeneration. Both in the Quadrillions.”

Her eyes were wide. He had a Quadrillion Mana! That would be enough to cast even the most draining of spells nearly a trillion times. “Oh, that reminds me.” He bent down and slipped off his shoes. Madyline watched in confusion as he placed them on the Enchanting Bench.

“There.” Magic flew and he took them back. He quickly slipped them on and looked up. He disappeared from view, and Madyline wondered if he had given himself an Invisibility Enchantment.

“Ow…” Madyline turned around and saw Ikari pressed against the door of the room. He slowly slid down from the door, lying prone on the floor. “I gave my shoes a Mobility Enchantment.” He lifted himself up slowly.

“It’s an active enchantment, so it’s not constant but…” He placed his bracelet back on the table. “I need a reaction speed enchantment or something.”

“Um, what is the increase of your Mobility?” Madyline asked, wondering how fast he had to move in order to look like he disappeared.

“Oh, about 140 Quadrillion.” Ikari said, finding an enchantment that he deemed suitable. He drank from his [Potion Of High Boosted Enchantment] and immediately replenished it. The bracelet sparked, and Ikari slipped the bracelet back on.

“Now, let’s try that again.” His knees bent lightly, and then he stood, smiling. “It works great!”

“But, you didn’t move?” Madyline told him, wondering why he was so happy.

“Yeah I did,” Ikari responded, a confused expression on his face. “I did like, twenty laps around you.”

Madyline’s eyes widened. She had not seen him move at all. Was it him moving that fast, or her being unable to keep up. “That is, terrifying.” She spoke honestly. If he wanted to, he could run all the way to the Kingdom of Malane without issue.

“Well, I think that’ll be enough.” He coughed and held his arm out. “Show Enchantments!”

“Yep. Alright, gonna make some potions, then kill the Demon King.” He walked out of the room contently. It took awhile for Madyline to follow, having to pick her jaw up off the ground.

“J-Just like that? You’ve only been here two days!” She exclaimed, quickly catching up with Ikari and taking the enchanting potion from him and placing it in his bag.

“King said it’d take four days to open up a way home. I said I’d kill him in three.” That would leave one day where he could maybe actually explore before going home. Or just sleep.

“Yes, that is exactly what the King said.” Madyline looked to the ground as she spoke, wrestling with her own morality.

She remained quiet as Ikari entered the Apothecary and set to work making various potions. Potions of Healing, Cure Poison, Cure Disease and a few others, all with ridiculously high benefits.

As he was slipping the potions into his bag while Madyline was wearing it, he looked up to all of the various ingredients. “Hmm.” He wondered aloud, causing the maid to turn with an inquisitive eyebrow.

“Give me a moment.” He walked over to the shelves and stretched his arms out. He brought them inward, picking up several ingredients as he did so, much to the surprise and confusion of Madyline.

“Um, Hero Sir.” She began, but quickly remedied herself after receiving a flat look. “Ikari.” She corrected, getting a pleasant smile in return. “Why are you taking all of these?”

“Few reasons.” He replied, storing several odd items in his bag. “One, might need to make a specific potion to beat the Demon King. Two, someone might try and copy me, and they might not be a good person.”

Madyline nodded, these were both fair reasons. “And finally, there were a bunch of potions with effects that aren’t nice.” He remembered reading about several potions that were basically date rape drugs. “And I refuse to leave any ingredients for those asshole nobles to make them.”

The maid normally would have sighed at the treasonous words, but instead just smiled happily at Ikari considering other servants in the castle. “I understand.” She smiled as Ikari placed more ingredients in the bag.

“Oh dear.” She spoke, causing Ikari to look up in surprise. “I cannot move.” She told him, giving the unwilling hero a wide eyed look. “I’m not injured in anyway. But all the ingredients have gone over my carry weight for this bag.”

“Oh.” Ikari blinked at the explanation. “Uh. Wait right here.” Madyline blinked and he was gone, leaving the maid alone in the potion room with a rather heavy bag on her back.

She was on her own for about two seconds, before Ikari came back and reached into the bag. “Sorry. Forgot something.” And he was gone again.

Madyline waited patiently, as instructed, and after around five seconds Ikari was back with a potion in one hand and a ring in the other. “Here.” He lifted up her hand and placed a silver and sapphire ring on her middle finger.

“Oh!” Madyline’s eyes widened as she felt the weight from her back lifted. She looked down to the ring and a small screen appeared above it.

“Better?” Ikari asked, seeing her eyes roam over the numbers.

“Yes! Much better! Thank you!” Madyline looked up to Ikari with glee. She had never felt so strong in her life.

“Ok. Now, let’s go kill the Demon King.”