Chapter 47

It didn’t take long for Claire to catch up as she chased after the Child God. She found him at a cross street, looking around confused while occasionally looking back the way he had come worriedly. He noticed Claire immediately and once again put on a brave face, picking a random direction and walking forward. Claire rushed to catch up to him.

“Hey!” She called out as she reached him, “Where are you heading off to?”

“Just going for a walk.” Tirr said with his usual arrogant tone.

“Well, you need any directions? These streets can be pretty confusing.”

“I don’t need anyone!”

“Well, okay then... I sent Maria back already so I’m going to return to the Castle too. Have a good walk.” She gave a last wave before abruptly turning around and heading the opposite direction.

The sudden change caught Tirr by surprise. He kept walking for a while occasionally looking back over his shoulder at the more distant growing Claire. As looked at the soon to be setting sun, he turned around as well, keeping some distance as he walked after her.

Claire could hear the flurry of steps as Tirr turned after her and had to resist the urge to giggle. She glanced back at him, trying to keep a straight face as she saw Tirr following her, still with his usual arrogant look. His face blushed as he saw her look at him.

“I decided to return to the Castle as well since it was late…”

Claire nodded solemnly and turned back to keep walking while fighting to keep her face straight. She thought about telling him the way he was originally heading was the fastest way back but thought it might be more teasing than he could handle at the moment.

They walked in silence as they worked their way through the busy streets back towards the Castle, the sun slowly setting behind them. As the castle finally came into sight Claire slowed down and finally spoke.

“You know Maria was just worried about you right?”

The sudden question almost made Tirr stumble, he caught himself as he grumbled. “Never asked her to be worried.”

“You don’t have to ask someone to be worried. It's just what happens when they care about you. Maria cares a lot about you, so she just wanted to help. It must have hurt when you said you didn’t need her…”

Tirr listened to the words in silence before breaking into a run. He ran past Claire and though the Castle gates catching the guards by surprise. Claire waved them off as they looked at her and watched as Tirr ran off into the castle grounds.

“I’m pretty worried too …” She whispered silently to herself with a sigh, ordering the guards to keep an eye on where Tirr went before heading up to make sure Maria got back safely.

Tirr ran through the castle grounds avoiding the more populated areas as he went further in. He wasn’t sure what he was running from, but he knew he had to get away. His chest felt painfully tight and he felt tears rising from his eyes. Tirr slowed down, checking himself over while applying his blessing, but no matter how many times he healed himself the pain wouldn’t go away.

As he kept wandering, he eventually came upon a quiet garden, deep within the Castle walls. He sat on a nearby bench enjoying the peace and reclusiveness. He thought back to Maria’s watery eyes as he yelled at her. To the Crimson Obelisk and it’s burning victims. And worse of all to the voice that repeated over and over again in his mind.

Even when he tried to remember what else the voice had said, it slipped away, leaving nothing but that painful apology and the feelings of loss that came with it. As he sat quietly trying to sort through the thoughts in his head and wondering if he should apologize to Maria, he heard quiet footsteps approaching.

He looked up to see King Torn walking slowly towards him. The older man sat quietly on the other side of the bench as he looked out over the garden.

“I see you found my favorite hiding place…” The King said, his voice gravelly as he stared at the well cared for flowers and trees.

“Didn’t mean to come into somewhere private…” Tirr replied as he quickly got up, wiping his eyes.

“No need to leave,” the king said quickly. “Besides it seems like you might need this place as much as I do right now… I just like to come here when the weight of things gets to be too much. The peace and quiet can be comforting.”

Tirr sat back down slowly, “What do you mean when it gets to be too much?”

“When the weight of my responsibilities becomes too heavy. The people I must care for, the vassals I must please, the nation I must protect. All the responsibilities a leader must carry and carry alone. I’m sure as a leader yourself you can understand.”

Tirr nodded, thinking of the people who had passed away during the battle at Road’s End. His plan hadn’t been good enough and they paid with their lives. “But don’t you have people to help you?” he asked thinking of Maria, Doron, and the rest of his followers.

“In the end followers will always be just followers. They can’t be relied on past the small tasks that can be given to them, and even those must be carefully overseen.”

The King let out a sigh. “One of my own sons plotted to steal my throne and the other would probably do the same given the chance. My Vassals act like yes men, praising every word that comes out of my mouth while waiting like a pack of hounds for me to show any weakness.”

“Even among my most loyal subordinates, like good Commander Owen, there will some situations or reasons that would cause him to abandon me if I was not careful…”

The voice rang in Tirr’s mind again and the pain it brought almost made him gasp. He could only nod at the King’s words. Had he been abandoned? Would it happen again? The questions that he had been afraid to ask himself now came up unbidden…

“No… In the end, no one understands how lonely it is at the peak…” The King stopped and gave Tir a sad smile, “Well, besides another leader at least.” King Torn slowly rose, giving Tirr a soft pat on the shoulder before heading off.

“It was nice talking with you, Tirr, feel free to come again…” The king said over his shoulder as he left the small garden.”

Tirr sat for a while longer, his expression serious, before he finally stood up and left. He asked a guard the way to their quarters and went straight towards his own room, ignoring the others who were out in the common room and shutting the door behind him. He lay awake in bed, thinking over what King Torn had said before finally drifting off to sleep…