《Gods How I Hate Nature》31. Not Nearly Enough

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We sat, eyes locked. My hand readied, a blunt object just begging for impact. My opponent opposite me, unmoving. Uncertainty and confusion in his eyes. I had made my imperative quite clear the first time, I prepared my best offense in case he refused to acquiesce. My eyes grew narrower with each passing second, Godsdamn you villain, admit defeat!

“Uh, Tome what are doing?”

“Waiting for either the Gods to smite you, or for you to clink glasses with me. Be forewarned, the Gods in this world are not toga wearing pushovers like the ones from yours,” our war of words had begun, first point, me.

Kevin gave me a vacant stare, “Tome, how much did you have to drink before I got here?”

Not nearly enough for this conversation, “Not nearly enough.”

“You’re acting…Weird.”

“Weird?”

“Yeah, I mean, you seem awfully happy.”

“Kevin, I’m a gregarious man by convention, are you saying I shouldn’t be happy?”

He shrugged, still looking at me askance.

“You didn’t go screaming through the forest, chopping down every small tree and bush again did you?”

“Kevin, that was one time, and those sly bastards had it coming, you know that.”

Kevin nodded, his eyes doubting me. I raised my mug higher, nearly into his face, forcing him to join my cheers with his small wooden cup. Game, set, and match. I took a smaller sip, to allow my eyes to dart over my clothing. Nope, no leaves, vines, stains, or other evidence. My visit to the Epistle Nuncia had invigorated me, so what if I took a little detour afterwards to calm the mind?

Each fibrous foe felled had warmed my heart. There was a sublime sense of satisfaction with each swing of my axe, every single swoosh, cut, and thwack. The bastards would just regrow the next day, but I wouldn’t let that ruin the experience.

The forests always grew back, requiring the state to constantly spread salt, pesticides, and spells along the roads and the outskirts of every town. The rich soil was great for crops, but even better for the trees, in two to three days the forest could reclaim a quarter, or even half, untreated acre near its edges. The land had to be treated at least once a week lest the soil regain its explosive growth factor. The Republic had fought hard to clear the regions around our cities and roads, in Topaz they were still fighting for the very existence of the city.

Of course, that wasn’t my only a comfort at the moment. My true joy came from talking to Miss Helthinth before meeting with Kevin. My hard work for the kitchen was paying off, a welcome development. Most days I had begun waking up at five and helping the earliest kitchen hands to skin and butcher. The women were skilled, and obviously could handle fine without me, but an extra pair of hands was something only a fool turned away.

Besides saving them time, I processed the left-over materials. I scraped all the excess fat and flesh off the hides, and carefully hung them from the numerous portable racks near the wall for drying. The women were concerned only with their kitchen fiefdom, granting scant attention to such details. Before volunteering my services, I had spent a morning carefully observing them, watching as several appallingly nicked the hides and left thick globs of flesh and fat attached to the skins when salting, ugh.

I gladly offered my services, seeing a way to potentially ingratiate myself with more elements of the Spire. The tanners, surnamed Tanner appropriately enough, were ecstatic at the improved quality and easier to treat hides. They were a family of thirty who lived outside the walls in their own community, tanning was a smelly, nasty business. They were half a league downwind from the Spire, through the forest. While a bit dangerous, I personally delivered the dried/prepared pelts, half of them salted by my own hands. Previously Virgil had just dumped them outside the main gate, when he remembered. The family was not ungracious, granting me several useful boons.

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Besides the tanners/Tanners, the alchemists were also appreciative. I delivered their allotment of bones, glands, and organs, fresher than before may I add, and had begun to help them in their preparations. I was learning how to properly extract the different materials, and was being taught how to make small concoctions. There were many vials and flasks of useful chemicals. But the greatest discovery I found was the head himself, Instructor Bosch Herati. Other than his skill in alchemy, the ways in which he used his arcane were not something I could let slip past me.

Miss Helthinth had made sure to pack my plate with a large portion of mutton and steak before telling me, “Now don’t be putting on any airs. You been pulling your weight, helping out in the mornings, fair pay for fair work, but don’t you dare ever even think about asking for a single coin more.”

She stood taller by raising her heels, both hands on her hips, one grasping a gigantic cleaver “ALSO, I’m not blind, nor can I not count. You’ve been taking far more than a portion for yourself, particularly from the buttery. The Opal gin’s missing near three bottles at last count. I’d take both your eyes if not for the fact the Tanner family and alchemist Meints have not only stopped their bitching, but begun paying their material dues, in earnest. I don’t know how you did it nor do I care, you keep them paying and Virgil far from me, and we’ll continue our arrangement, including your little excesses.”

She let the cleaver fall, slapping the flat side threateningly against her palm.

“That being said, you touch the Latoralis bourbon, fruit of the sea, or any of the more expensive goods, and you won’t be walking ever again, not as a man anyways...”

While she was right about me helping myself a little more than was agreed upon, that was the nature of any haggler. You took more than you should, but never enough to let a deal fall through. Stealing, techniquely, but if the buyer could barter you down lower than cost, they wouldn’t give it a second thought.

I did honor my agreements, and Miss Helthinth too would have honored our original deal. That being said, the sole reason she agreed to more concessions was despite my hard work, not because of it. Were I not taking extras for myself, she would've been more than content to ignore a job well done. Her thinking was shortsighted, but not entirely wrong. The kitchen ran fine, and even without me things would continue.

I looked at Kevin, realizing that perhaps I was not being shortsighted enough with our relationship. The exercise business had not shown any tremendous gains, he had only repaid me roughly half of what he owed with all this time, and his loyalty was suspect at best. While he had done much to anger me, he was still the first person who hadn’t actively sought to harass or harm me after I’d joined the army. Actively, the key word. While I could let many things go, I couldn’t deny that his actions and words were grating on me more and more. You stab a man, and he may forgive you, but with words, the wrong one at the wrong moment could cut far deeper than any physical blade.

We were enjoying our meal, waiting for Verdia to join us. Kevin taking small bites from his slop, while I eagerly tore into the mass of meat on my plate. Out of hunger of course, I wasn’t a spiteful person.

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“G-Gods, t-these st-steaks are just so mouthwatering…”

“Tome…”

“You have any of the money you owe me?”

“Well, uh, no…”

I thought as much, “Kevin, that truly surprises me. I really thought you’d have at least paid me a large silver by now, what about your harem?”

“Harem!? I don’t have a harem!”

Huh, there was Mintha, Verdia, and I had often seen him talking to gaggles of girls, a goofy grin plastered on his face. He probably wasn’t sleeping with them, that was sadly the norm for other worlders. People want to have sex, it was an urge, nothing to be ashamed of. I thought of my own situation, it had been far too long. Bedding Agrippina was starting to look like a tempting offer… NO, I shook my head, just a week more at most and I’d hit the brothels in Amethyst, DON’T complicate things…

“Alright Kevin, your chaste camp followers, your unplucked flowers, your yet to be filled tarts, your…”

“Seriously, Tome? You’re being an ass again!”

“Kevin, you have a bevy of women you’re supposedly not sleeping with…”

“I’m not!”

“Alright, alright, modesty or circumspect aside, if you’re not applying them for sex, you could be utilizing them to help you pay your bills.”

“Taking money from my friends, j-just how… Tome, I still have my self-respect!”

My jaw literally dropped as I sat there astonished. Words, sounds, even thoughts failing to form. I blinked, well maybe I blinked, but I certainly didn’t stop staring. When Kevin finally spoke again, I was in the same position, though both my hands had found themselves under my robes. Each in possession of what were my deadliest serrated blades.

“Tome, I thought you prided yourself as a man, but taking money from women?” he shook his head in disdain.

You’re going to lecture me on taking money from friends and self-respect? I let go of one of the knives before narrowing my eyes, it was time for some of those words you couldn’t ever take back.

“Kevin, let me tell…

“Kevin, Tome,” a familiar female voice called to us.

“Mintha!”

“Mintha,” I mumbled, debating on whether or not to continue my rebuttal to Kevin’s self-righteous lecture.

Mintha smiled, placing her trencher beside Kevin’s before sitting down.

“Oh, yeah, Tome, Verdia has some news!” Kevin exclaimed, forgetting or choosing to ignore our previous topic.

I sighed angrily, this was what we had been waiting for, Kevin adamant we had to wait for Mintha to explain whatever the big news was. I decided to still have my words with Kevin, unless the information was useful. Then, and only then would I not scream at Kevin for his hypocrisy.

“Um, actually there’s been a development. I have to ask you not to tell anyone Kevin, including you Tome, I’m so sorry, really. Sorry,” she cast her head down, words filled with regret and shame.

I looked closely, while it was hard to gauge her emotions within the darkness of her hood, her hands were trembling.

“B-But Verdia, I already told all the other worlders! Why can’t we tell Tome!?”

“Kevin… What I heard was a rumor, one of the professors heard what I’d been saying and rebuked me. They were very angry that I said anything to you, and that others found out too. They’ll be talking to all the other worlders tomorrow.”

Kevin looked from Verdia to me, unsure of how to respond. Well, wasn’t this fun, “Tome, we’ve something to tell you, oh wait, we can’t tell you now, nor can we give you any details…”

Screw it all, this was too much. I’d put up with Kevin and his friends long enough. I prepared to tell him off and storm away, selecting choice words. Then I paused, no, that lacked finesse and a certain aspect critical to all associations, retribution. Tomorrow, after our exercise session there was a far more appropriate way to end our relationship, hell, I might even get one more use out of him.

It was a shame to lose my slower runner, but sometimes you have to cut away the deadweight. I was on my own anyways, not much would be changing. Thinking back, I suppose I had thrown good money after bad. Whatever, couldn’t change the past.

Mintha’s part in this still confounded me, was she being foolish, or playing games? I mean, the only thing that might be off-limits would be information that the other worlders weren’t supposed to know. But only a fool would make such a mistake, or a traitor, or someone from…

“Kevin, I think it would be advantageous if you were to go see your friends and tell them what Mintha just said. Wouldn’t want them getting into trouble as well, now would we?”

“Uh, yeah, that sounds good,” he sat, motionless as a rock that should’ve been tumbling downhill, instead of wasting valuable moss.

“No, Kevin, NOW. We wouldn’t want Mintha to be rebuked again or even punished, right?”

“Well…”

Gods above!

“Kevin, I’ll give you half my steak if go over there, now.”

“Half? Well, maybe a bit more than that?”

“Sure, one third.”

“Uh, that’s less…”

He stared dumbly at me, so I decided to give him a little push. I brought a large portion of meat to my mouth, savoring every bite.

Kevin got up and rushed away. Verdia looked at me confused.

“Why would you care about helping them? They’re…”

“You said too much to Kevin, and weren’t even careful about how you went about it. You’re not from the Republic are you Mintha?”

She stiffened upright; I could feel her glaring now.

“Latoralis, Ora, Muria, or Munaeco? Your staff’s made of coral, something we don’t tend to import into the Republic, nor even use. That would also explain why you’ve been hanging around Kevin so much, you’re avoiding anyone who might realize the truth.”

I listened to her take several sharp breaths, collecting her wits before she responded.

“And if I’m not a local, what will you do then?” the temperature went up several degrees, her eyes emitting a red glow.

I raised my hands, palms up, “I’ve got no issues with the coastal cities, or new arrivals for that matter. My family immigrated here themselves long ago, I’m just stating the obvious, well, most of it. There’s also the reason you don’t take off that hood of yours.”

I kept my expression neutral, while I could’ve smirked to drive home my point, it would’ve been in poor taste. Her left hand moved up, moving her hood slightly back to allow only myself to view her. Large, black ovals with big red irises within. Her nose short, ridges lined horizontally along her face, her skin made of hard to distinguish green-tinged scales. She was a mer.

Her face was beautiful, in a fashion. Her eyes blinked diagonally as we stared. They probed my own, before carefully darting to check my movements. She met my stare again.

“So, what’s your opinion on mer, are we mistakes?”

“I wouldn’t say that, there’s good reason that mer make up a quarter of the population in the coastal cities. Your kind is just as reliable as everyone else, though I would appreciate knowing your city.”

“Munaeco.”

I nodded, “Good, even if it was Ora or Muria I wouldn’t despise you, but politics you know…”

She nodded back, pulling her hood back down and grabbing her stein. I quickly raised my own to hers. There was an awkward pause before she clinked with me, and we both took a necessary sip.

“So, now that that’s out of the way, the higher ups had a few words with you about how secrets are kept here, didn’t they?”

“I-I don’t know wh…”

“They were wearing yellow robes, no?”

Her hands began tremoring again, I smiled. The first time was extremely unsettling, especially when they found something.

“I can’t say.”

“Of course not, you can’t say, you can’t even answer, right?”

Silence.

“Something big was, is, happening, soon right?”

Silence.

“This week… The next… The third…Ah! It concerned the other worlders obviously, and ourselves, perhaps first year mages and them? Or just mages associated with the other worlders?”

“I can’t…” she broke the pattern, disturbed at how close I was getting to the truth.

“No need, no need. Now, what could it have been? Resources denied us, no. Experimenting on us, ah, no,” every time her body failed to react to my statements, I responded with a no.

“Expulsion or call to arms, n… Ah,” her hands trembled viciously, “Are we being assigned a task, or a quest, um hum…”

“I didn’t say anyth…”

“No,” I quickly grabbed one of her quaking hands.

Her other hand swiftly came up, flame blazing. I leaned forward, allowing it near my throat.

“I didn’t tell you…!”

“No, you didn’t. Mintha, you didn’t say anything, you didn’t tell me anything. Even when they interrogate you again, don’t hold anything back. I asked questions, to which you didn’t say anything that would break the rules. In fact, be sure to tell them my name and that, I have no secrets from the Republic, NOT A ONE.”

I started chuckling, causing the flame on Verdia’s already trembling hand to jump, singeing my neck.

“Ah, shit!” I gasped in pain.

“Huh!” she recoiled back.

I sat back, rubbing the new burn on my neck. It was painful, but not more than surface level damage.

“Damn, ha, ha…my own stupidity there, sorry about that.”

I got up to leave, my feet wobbly with the sudden bout of dizziness I suffered. Okay, maybe I did drink enough for today.

“My Gods, have you finally lost it? Whoa, are you alright, Tome?”

My smile faded, but not my mirth, “No, not enough, not nearly enough.”

She looked at me, worry and confusion shown in her body language. I sauntered slowly away, carefully guiding each step.

“Tome, wait…” Mintha called after me.

“Tell Kevin he can have the rest of my steak, goodnight Mintha.”

I walked unsteadily out of the great hall and down the corridors, looking forward now not only to my bath, but my soon to occur get-together. The yellow robes, wind mages, would be coming to see me, especially when they talked to Mintha again. The worst thing you could ever tell a wind mage was that you had no secrets. I began laughing again, remembering my last interrogation some three or four months ago.

Those yellow robed torturers imagined themselves the stuff of nightmares. I would show them what a nightmare really was. Ah, the best miseries in life were the ones you could share.

My hand shot out, the stone wall helping me to regain my balance. Yep, just as soon as I soaked and sobered up a little, I’d show them wind mages a thing or two. Perhaps I could even get a drink or two in the baths while I was sobering up? No, no, that was an idiotic line of thought...

Of course I could, what kind of baths didn’t have alcohol?

---------------------------------------------

“Why, all the red satin was bought out two days ago? You lucky burghers, you! By some stroke of the Gods, me and my brother here just happen to have a wagon load full of red satin, oops! I misspoke! Half a wagon! Prices will have to be doubled naturally, but still, better hurry! Supplies won’t last!”

“That’s an outrage!” One woman screamed.

“Those prices are still quadruple what they should be!” an angry mob began to form.

I didn’t miss a beat, giving my most shocked expression, “Why, that’s slander, libelous slander if I ever heard it!”

My brother gave me a look, probably something stupid about wording again, he’s always gotta be a know-it-all… More irate shouts, threats now being issued, just a bit more…

“Now, now, just ‘cause it’ll be weeks before more red satin even begins to enter the market…”

The crowd surrounded our wagon, slamming their fists against it while others tried to rock it over. My brother looked at me concerned as I puffed on a cigar. The rocking intensified, the threats more visceral. I almost laughed as his eyes nearly popped out of his skull. I’d almost be willing to let them drag him off, while unpleasant, tarring and feathering was a right of passage. Unfortunately, I needed his help to physically offload this subquality red satin, so instead I turned and gave him the Garnet Greeting. I punched him squarely in the face, splaying him onto his back.

“Gah! You basta…” he griped, slowly picking himself off the wagon floor.

I sighed, taking another long puff. He was always bitching about something, just like a woman. While I couldn’t let him get tarred and feathered here, when we hit the next hamlet over before going to Muria I’d let the mob… Wait, Muria... I smiled, no, physical pain was nice, but mental torment? I laughed, already planning our visit to the Sea Horse. Pisci, now she would give him an experience he would never forget, nor live down…

Plan set, I popped the cigar out my mouth and cleared my throat mightily, “AH HEM!”

In my most magnanimous voice, “You know what, you lot are right, absolutely right. Why, even though this here’s Ruby ruby red satin, soaked in red lodestone, and I’m barely making a profit, you’ve all got your families and wee ones to support don’t you?”

The curses, pounding, and rocking slowed, the crowd puzzled. A few of the quicker ones, while not fully understanding, could sense the general direction and voiced their affirmations. I listened to several sob stories, allowing the mob to vent their frustrations. After six minutes of grief laden tales, I made my spontaneous decision.

“You brave tailors and craftsmen, why, your tales of woe and suffering have moved me, don’t ever let it be said that a Rimoude has no heart! Just for today, only a fifty percent surcharge, even though there’s a shortage and these here are prime lux-ury goods.”

“That’s still too much!”

There it was….

“You know what, you seem like a trustful bunch of upstanding, fine burghers. I tell you what, I’ll let everyone pay me half price, you can post me the other half after you’ve sold your goods! I’m good as my word, no doubt you lot’re too!”

There was a roar of cheers and applause, followed by the quick sale of all the merchandise in our cart. Tome quickly handing out the goods while I made sure to carefully write the post address on slips of paper that I happened to have. Every customer left, satisfied as a fox in a henhouse. My brother looked at me disgusted.

“Why didn’t you just give them those prices to begin with?”

“Because, you gotta make ‘em want your goods, Tome. Even with the well-timed shortage…”

“Caused by us.”

“Not important, there was still a shortage. As I was saying, even with the shortage, they needed a little push.”

“But how many will actually mail us the rest? You didn’t even have them swear a proper oath!”

“No need, not a one will be posting even a single copper, with or without a proper oath.”

“Then, then why let them swindle you?!”

“Because, the prices were actually ten times what they should’ve been, my discount included. They think that they swindled us brother, when in fact we made five times the normal profit. Remember, honest men and women call businessmen cheats, yet don’t give pause when stealing from our pockets.”

I took a longer puff on my cigar, enjoying a moment before we headed to the next hamlet. I looked at my brother, deciding to hammer in the lesson a bit more. While not the ideal brother, best if he didn’t sell the family holdings for some magic beans, or Gods help us all, durian…

“Don’t you ever put faith in anyone’s word brother, trust greed and ulterior motives, those’re the only places you’ll find honesty.”

-Theodore Rimoude III, Little Theo.

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