Hello again. It has been some time since my last, entry.

I’m not entirely sure how long to be honest. I haven’t exactly been… Myself, these days. Not since I found out what I’ve done. If I could do something like that to my own little brother, hat’s to say I won’t do the same to my friends now? The thought of Julius, Onica, Fen, or, may the world forgive me, little Lena dying at my hands is just, entirely unacceptable.

Such images appeared before my eyes everytime I blinked, and when I was forced to sleep by exhaustion, my nightmares stalked me through dark woods. Then the memories of those nightmares haunted me when I was awake. I began to start believing that they were prophetic dreams, and tried to push my friends away with anger and violence. But to no avail. They wouldn’t leave me. So I left them.

Rather, I should say I tried to. They must have been keeping an eye on me, and expecting just such a move. Because as soon as I tried to fly away Julius and Fen knocked me out of the sky, by way of sending a rocket powered Julius and a lightning bolt crashing into the back of my head. Then Lena wrapped my head in a bubble of water, keeping me focused on trying to breathe while Onica wrapped me up in some chains.

I love them so much! They must have been practicing that routine for days with how smoothly they pulled it off! I could probably have melted through the chains pretty quick, but Lena had encased each link in a bubble of water that would have taken me a lot longer than they would have allowed me to break free. Not to mention, at that point I had to deal with a far more devastating binding. Lena had her arms wrapped around my neck, and her face buried in my chest. She was crying, sobbing and snotting all over me the little darling, and begging me not to leave them.

By that point I hadn’t slept in days, and as I was trying to somehow comfort her without actually promising anything I realized something. Something so obvious I honestly cannot believe it took me this long to figure out.

My friends are strong! Like, really, really, strong. I couldn’t kill them if I tried! As I realized that my nightmares and worries were just phantoms of my sleep deprived mind, I fell into the first restful sleep I’d had in, well like I said I’m not sure how long. Right there, battered, chained, and soaked in the water, tears, and snot of love. I slipped into a world of happy fluffy dreams. The kind that leave you smiling when you wake up, but since you forget them nearly instantly all that’s left is that warm feeling of happiness and rightness they gave you.

I don’t know if I have ever felt quite like this before. I’m still shattered by the knowledge of what I’ve done. That hasn’t disappeared. But, I also feel such love and contentment from my friends presence. It’s quite odd, but I don’t think I dislike it. I feel more, complete now. Like a huge piece of me that was missing has returned, and even though it’s return has hurt and scarred me, that lightning bolt burn on the back of my neck isn’t going away, I feel more myself than I ever have before.

I guess people need more than just good memories and happy times. You also need the bad times, the darkest moments. It is by those deepest depths that we measure our greatest heights.

Or maybe that’s just me. Who knows? Certainly not me, but regardless. I feel, not good about this. I guess I just feel, more right? Whatever, emotions are hard to really get a grasp on anyway, and they tend to change. Like, waves in the ocean, or tides, or rivers during a snowmelt. Or some other poetic garbage, I’m not a poet, so I guess I’ll never know.

Anyway! Enough about me and my feelings! The others have been busy, the Tower has been looted, and it is quite a haul! Even Julius seems satisfied, for the moment anyway. They found the rest of the tinglewood, I’m really happy the Iceni and Shoto were so greedy, scouring the seas finding every scrap they could. I’m sure some of it has disappeared, but most of it is right here. They also found the thing that crushed the tinglewood bubble, and separated all of us what seems like so long ago.

It’s wand like needle thingy. They Iceni legends say that it was the instrument that their ancestors used to rip stones form the ocean floor and make the tower in the first place. They call it the conductor of tides, and even though they can’t use it to rip massive chunks of solid stone off the bottom of the ocean anymore, they can still use it to send a massive shockwave blasting through the ocean. Apparently, the Shoto had a similar treasure, called the reflection of tides, that their ancestors used to create the giant magic bubbles surrounding their underwater city. The two powers of these seas had been fighting pretty much forever, because their rulers both wanted to claim their ‘birthright’ which was the other sides national treasure.

Everytime the Iceni sent a shockwave with the conductor of tides the Shoto sent one of their own with the reflection of tides. They’d meet in the middle, and cancel each other out. But every year, when the treasures had recharged, the Iceni sent another shockwave. Just in case the Shoto missed this one, or something. Optimistic warmongering I guess I’d call it.

Where was I? Oh yes, the crushing of the bubble! Well, by some cruel twist of fate we just so happened to be in the perfect place at the perfect time to get hit by both shockwaves at once. What are the odds? Seriously, to take simultaneous shots from two national super weapons, that’s just dumb.

But man, tinglewood is intense! Two island wrecking weapons hit it at the same time, and while it certainly shattered, nobody inside of it was hurt! Well, except me, but I think that happened after the fact anyway.

While I’ve been driving myself mad with my fears and worries the others were training to slap the shit out of me, and also gathering supplies for out journey. By which I mean they pretty much grabbed whatever it was they wanted and stuffed it into my satchel. There is so much random stuff in there now! I have absolutely no idea how it works, but if I don’t think about it then it doesn’t bother me. So yeah, no problem there. We’re all set to get back on our way, where were we going again?

OH! Pirate treasure! Right, yeah, of course. Finally time to figure out if that map we got for giving a lady a kingdom is any good! What was her name again? Well, I’m sure I’ll remember eventually. If we are leaving tomorrow like I think we are, then I need to get to bed. Lena doesn’t go to sleep until she’s made sure I do, and her head keeps on drooping before it shoots back up and she looks around frantically. I should let the little darling get some rest. She’s earned it.

Goodnight.