《How to get lost: a wanderers guide》I got a bit carried away
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Hello again. Today we arrived in the contested area.
Remember how the captain said it would take a week? And how I wanted to speed things up?
Well, it didn't, and I did.
I can't really feel too triumphant about shortening a weeks voyage into one that lasted a dozen hours. Normally I would be feeling pretty proud, and I am. But the poor Friend Zone... I can't say it deserved what happened to it. It is a sad thing. Seeing a Friend Zone be broken into a million pieces. But if thats what it will take to reconnect with my friends, then so be it.
I tried a few different things to speed us up.
I had horses of fire run over the water before us, kicking up steam and connected to the ship with cords made of the meager tinglewood I still have. That worked alright, but we couldn't really see where we were going, and the steam was making the whole ship damp and slippery. After slipping and bashing my face in on walls and masts five times I figured I was done with that.
Next I tried lifting the whole ship. Making huge wings of flame port and starboard and trying to fly a decently sized ship into the sky is freaking hard. I managed to do it though. For a little bit. Then the ship started catching fire, and the crew kept falling off because I kept over compensating and sending us into uncontrolled spins and dives. So then I had to land the ship. Which went so badly I don't even want to record it.
But I will.
So, through some fluke of fate, when I tried to land us on the ocean it just so happened to be at the exact same location as a barely submerged boulder. I came down so hard on it the poor Friend Zone nearly cracked in half. Screaming crewmembers were sent tumbling in all directions, and I spilled my drink.
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Next, after fishing the unlucky(?) crewmembers out of the black ocean waters, I tried rocketing it.
Going to the very rear of the ship I sat down and dangled my legs in the cool water. Taking a moment to gaze at the star filled firmament above before trying my next method. About as relaxed as I was going to get, I took a deep breathe, raised my feet from the waves, and blasted off.
I then slammed into the cabins behind me. I hadn't actually secured myself to the ship, so I was the only thing that moved, and since I was trying move a whole ship I really put some kick into it. The crews and captains quarters were smashed into so much kindling under my body.
Which hurt like you wouldn't believe.
On my second attempt I was tied to the deck by the poor captain whose ship I had been steadily demolishing since I offered to 'help' late last night. I think I will get him a new ship later.
Secured as fully as I was likely to get I once again blasted off. I got some pretty sick rope burns on my shoulders and across my thighs, but man did we ever start moving. Better yet, since we could see in front of us, and hadn't left the water, the captain could still steer us.
Time passed, anytime I started flagging all I had to do was think of my friends. Then I was raring to go again!
We did hit some rough seas, where we basically just hopped from wave crest to wave crest in a jarring series of lurching jumps and impacts. The odd reef or rock was scraped by, leaving some wood behind. And I know we hit at least one unlucky fish in a splatter of scales and fishy blood. And stuff.
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By the time the sun was high overhead I was exhausted, bruised, rope-burned, and on a swiftly sinking wreck. The Friend Zone had been reduced from a elegant display of the shipwrights art, into a bunch of soggy splinters. Barely held together by some frayed rope, and a desperate mans ingenuity. But that's ok. Because we had arrived!
The neutral merchant island, of Freeport. Right smack dab in the middle of all the fighting, and the only place where both navies had bases. I wonder why they haven't attacked each other here yet? That is the first thing I would do, claim any shared or contested lands as quickly as possible, so I could dedicate my forces entirely towards taking enemy lands.
Anyway, I asked around town a bit. Nobody had seen a seven foot tall cat lady, a red rabbit, a floating talking tophat, or a small girl with shortcut blue hair. I did get a lot of weird looks though. Bunch of strange people on this island. What is weird about asking if anyone has seen your friend the talking hat?!
I got a room at the only inn in town, and now, if you'll excuse me. I really need to get some sleep.
I'll go ask around at the navy bases tomorrow. Hopefully they have more information on my friends whereabouts.
Goodnight.
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