《How to get lost: a wanderers guide》Things really need to start happening soon
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Hello again. No luck today.
My first few stops were hard to call islands.
More large boulders really. They jutted out of the ocean, all barren cliffs and hostile birdlife.
No sign of my friends there.
I headed out, more and more down in the dumps.
But luckily for me, I found a distraction!
A war! Nothing takes your mind off your troubles quite like a war.
Two islands were fighting each other over the island between them. I settled in to watch.
Warbands ran blindly about the island in question. No semblance of discipline or strategy to be found. I only saw one ambush be set and sprung successfully. Sadly the islanders ambushed their own forces, leading to heavy losses.
Small fishing boats loaded with men maneuvering around one another. More insults than arrows filling the air. I couldn't even tell the two sides apart. No banners, no colored patches or bandanas. Not even their tattoos differed enough to be noticeable.
Watching this travesty was certainly making me forget my worries, but it was doing so by pissing me off!
You call that a war?! I've fought better wars with breakfasts! At least then I don't stab myself with my own fork!
So I intervened. I flew down, and channeled my anger into my eyes. Purple rays bathed the ocean and island. The 'warriors' fell to the ground and deck like they had been poleaxed.
"What is this nonsense!" I growled at the unlucky bastards with the big feather headresses that indicate possible leadership. They shit themselves. Literally. So gross.
Seeing two fully grown and muscular men shit themselves really doused my fire. Unwilling to stay and partake in any more of this shitshow I turned to leave. "Look, just. Get along, will ya?" I shouted over my shoulder as I winged away.
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And that was the highlight of my day.
Yup, watching grown men act like children and then mess themselves was the peak of my day.
That is just sad.
The rest of it was more of the same.
I did make a point of giving any other villages I came across the purple eyes treatment, and a command to get along with each other. Not sure how much they understood of that, but hopefully that will keep me from seeing anymore pathetic attempts at warfare.
It just, bothers me. War is serious business. It requires training, preparation, forethought, and intelligence. Anything else is just a foolish waste of precious lives. Disgusting.
Even when we were taking that kingdom whose blasted name I can never recall and giving it to Morena or Morana or whoever. We planned and plotted to keep our gains maximized and losses minimized. Nobody decimated their foes beyond what was necessary. Besides Julius. But he is an exception, definitely not the rule. *Shudder* That poor poor man.
It was getting late so I set down in a nice secluded looking place for some rest.
As I watch the sun fall and the stars come out a sigh is pulled from deep within me. It is undeniably beautiful, but without my friends it just seems hollow. These feelings are only getting more pronounced the longer I am alone.
I am lonely, and I am bored.
I hope things get more interesting around here soon.
Goodnight.
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