Hello again. Todays victim: The Knights of House Destrier!

They are the best of the best of the best. Trained from childhood in the ideals of honor, integrity, justice, and the brutal and violent destruction of all those who dare violate the aforementioned tenets. They are given the best trainers, the best food, the best equipment, and the best horses available.

They are hands down the best force on an open field in the kingdom whose name I still don't know. I must have heard it a dozen times by now, but it just slips away from my memory like a fish from a broken net.

No matter. It'll come to me when its ready.

Julius was the designated fighter for today, he woke us all up early and has been hopping with excitement all day. We traveled through the rolling hills of the Bosvarum, heading probably north, and into the flat grassy plains and sequestered hills of the Destrier lands.

This is the single largest domain in the land. Its flat expanses cut by a handful of rivers flowing in from the, maybe, western swamplands. Perfect land for cultivating horse herds and their fodder. All the other Houses horses are purchased from the breeders in Destrier. They keep the best for themselves.

The horses of the knights of Destrier are hardy creatures, able to forage their own food on a campaign. They can run for a solid day with appropriate pacing, and have the stamina to charge an enemy at the end of a march. This makes them a fast response force. Able to move on a moments notice with little to no supply trains, and move fast!

They aren't massive plow horses, but nimble and sprightly smaller breeds. Capable of breaking off a full charge within moments if necessary.

This is a tactic used to test the readiness of defenders to hold, and to tease out any nasty tactic like hidden pikes. It also plays bloody hell with your nerves when thousands of, literal, tons of meat and metal come rushing at you only to pull away at the last moment. The strain on the nerves alone has been known to break lesser armies.

Or so I am told.

Julius listened to all the tales of their exploits with rapt attention. They smashed thus-and-so at the battle of who-gives-a-damn. They broke the siege of a-place and saved the citizens. On and on and on the stories roll. All ending in victory, and all against the odds. They are the defenders of the kingdom, the righteous hammer of retribution, the sword of justice, and the anvil upon which all enemies are beaten.

And Julius was going to break them.

Well, that was the plan at least. Turns out it can be pretty difficult to find an army in a large area. We searched for hours, Julius getting more and more antsy as time passed. Finally we decided it was too much work.

So we started burning villages.

We ushered all the people out of the village and sent them towards Morana before burning their homes and businesses. We aren't monsters you know? They were going to be her people soon enough anyways. I figure this will give her some credibility with the peasantry. When they were forced out of house and home at the evil hands of foreign invaders she helped them and yada yada. Loyalty.

After the fifth village of a hundred or so people we started seeing scouts. Julius was practically frothing by now. He had been anticipating this moment all day. It was already getting late in the day by that point. If the enemy didn't show soon they'd have to fight in the dark.

Which would kind of spoil the show.

We settled down on a nice hill with a view. In the distance a dust cloud had appeared behind another, smaller, hill. Probably the anticipated army. Julius was literally vibrating by then. He gave a oddly high-pitched squeak and hopped into his crowned battle bunny. Flames roared to life on its hands feet and ears. Unable to stand being still any more Julius started pacing towards the dust cloud. His body moving with exaggerated slowness as he tried to stop himself from just bursting into motion and violence.

So when the glorious vanguard of the Destrier army came prancing into sight over the smaller hill. He was understandably unable to hold back anymore. The section of hill he was stepping on erupted into so much charred dust and ash. The force of his kickoff and charge shook the hill and flames rose in his wake.

Made me spill my drink. No matter. I have been writing todays tale anyway so its not like it spilled on me. Just fell over onto the ground next to me and summoned ants from nowhere.

This is an opportunity to write a live combat experience! Not something to be missed!

The knights seemed rather dumbfounded. I suppose its unusual to have their grand entrance be met with a clearly excited and hostile seven foot tall red rabbit-man hybrid. On fire, and squeaking excitedly. I hope so at least.

I get headaches when I imagine a legion of Julius' rampaging across the world.

I don't think the world could take it.

Anyway, the knights hesitated. Understandably, and then they were running back the way they came. I imagine they wanted to regroup or something? Doesn't matter.

Julius saw them turn to run and his joy of battle turned into rage at unmet expectations. A squeaky roar split the air and some unfortunate souls at the rear of the retreating column had their horses collapse from the shock of it. I did warn him. The standards of these armies we have been running into is rather subpar. No matter how the locals hype them up as legendary forces of martial skill, they are just the forces of nobles in a pretty small kingdom. How elite can they be?

We settled down to an early dinner as the sounds of carnage and terror swept over the placid hills. The beaming sun shined merrily down in seeming mockery of the troubles of us below its heavenly arc.

It was a truly beautiful day today. Just enough sun to warm us, and just enough wind to keep us from getting too warm. The smoke from our villainous endeavors of the day caught the sun and contrasted beautifully with the big fluffy white vlouds above them.

Lena handed me a bowl of stew we had salvaged from one of the towns, Julius and his unfortunate foes had disappeared over the small hill shortly after his rawr.

All we can hear is smashing and squeaking followed by screams and bellows from the knights. Seems like they're fighting back at least. Oh-ho-ho! Awesome fire twisters rise and fall in a cresting crescendo of violence. There is normally and ebb and flow to battles. But this sounds more like a waterfall upon stone. A clashing crash of unstoppable force on an unbreaking surface.

Something has to give eventually.

Ah, Julius just came smashing through the hill. Looks like he found someone who can give him a good time at last. Probably the giant fella with the shining plate armor and the ridiculously huge sword who just came swaggering through the dust.

Julius is back up and he-

WOAH! WHAT THE F-

I don't-

Why?

Wow.

I can't believe he did that.

Thats too brutal man! How am I supposed to explain that to Lena! She saw everything, and you just know she's going to want to imitate it!

Ugh, whatever. We won, hooray.

The big guy was the head of House Destrier it seems. After what Juluis did to him the rest of the house, including his heir, surrendered very quickly. Nice guy, a little long in the nose and prose areas but he seems likable enough. We sent them off to see Morana, they gave us their word they wouldn't do anything funny on the way so we don't have to escort them this time.

It may seem odd to trust an enemy, but these guys in particular have a reputation for honor and integrity that would hurt them far more to lose than kneeling to Morana would.

Onwards to the next one I suppose.

Onica says she is going to teach us all how to properly hunt with the next army. Theyre the famous rangers and snipers of the Vultiaco. Sounds like fun?

We moved away from the battlefield. Carnage always gathers nightime scavengers who it'd be a pain to ward off from our campsite, and the smell of cooked flesh and hair mixed with ruptured organs and congealing blood makes it hard to sleep peacefully.

I made our camp look like a very small red castle this time. Towers and walls and crenellations and stuff. Lena helped design it. Little blue guards made of the Mirage patrol its short walls and a dragon made from Tyrant watches over Julius' treasure hoard.

Not much room left for sleeping though. Still, it was fun to make so it's all good.

Goodnight.