Hello again. So. Today I learned what happens if you set a duke on fire.

Short version: He dies screaming. You run like hell.

Longer version goes thusly.

So I guess Duke something-or-other is Taras boss, and she needs to report to him when something like an invasion happens. So he found out about us.

Lena got grabbed by some unfortunate souls when she was out playing with her friends. I don't know what their plan was, but I doubt getting shanked to death in an alley and then fed to swine was part of it. Her friends just got my stamp of approval! Nice kids.

Julius they actually stuffed in a cage.

Ah, that hat is still in the box isn't it? I hope it is a patient sort of cursed object.

Anyway, Julius was stuffed in a cage while hopping about in the garden. He showed some tremendous restraint and only the offending men were reduced to charcoal. The garden was unharmed!

Super proud of him for that.

Tara is under enough pressure as it is without her sanctum being torched.

As for me. Some pompous ass with a white outfit covered in shiny medals, and a wide blue sash running across his chest accosted me when I was eating some noodles at a street cart in lowtown. I ignored him, assuming he was some kind of idiot.

You shouldn't be mean to the differently-abled.

He kept yapping though. Eventually I got sick of him demanding my allegiance and servitude so I walked away. He tried following me but I am as good at losing others as I am at getting lost myself.

Why do I feel like I just insulted myself?

Sadly when I returned to the House of Dancing Wings after eating more noodles at a different cart he was waiting there. What can I say, those carts have the best noodles.

He was with some fat guy with greasy hair who he introduced pompously as 'His grace, Duke blahblahblahblah'

I stopped listening.

When I ignored them and went to go around them some other idiot in shiny armor bellowed something about insolence and punishment before trying to skewer me with a spear I assumed was ceremonial. From all the ribbons and gems and crap on it.

I burned him into a pile of slag on the ground. The fat one seemed excited by this. He chortled and sort of waddled over to me. Offering lands and titles I didn't need nor want in return for utter and complete servitude to himself. I lit his hair on fire.

Honestly I thought he would panic and leave me alone, but other than some burns and a bald spot I thought he would be fine.

Who uses flammable hair product and cologne?

That guy!

He went up like a bonfire on a tar pit. His fat ignited and things started to burst and pop in between his screams. His sheer bulk meant that he burned for a very long time. I think he was alive for most of it too.

Sorry about that.

Anyway, Tara freaked out and we ended up running down a secret tunnel that led us out of the city.

I asked what we were running from. I mean, seriously, what could threaten us? An army was Taras response. I still think we could take an army, but to give Tara some peace of mind in return for being a good host and friend we agreed to run and hide.

Julius and Lena are taking it as a game, but Onica is taking it more seriously. According to her, Papil may be a small and weak power, but there is a larger power behind it.

These powers can be kingdoms, clans, churches, or what-have-you. And they are all protected from one another by old powerful secrets. Weapons, monsters, heros, elders, even gods. These are what we are running from.

As I lie back on some soft grass next to the box containing the cursed tophat, and gaze up at the stars through the forest canopy I have a single question.

Could I beat a god?

Goodnight.