HeIlo again. Today I went off alone.

I was sick of people. Of all the noise and motion they create. So I climbed a tree. One of those big ones near the tiny town of former slaves. I climbed up the trunk, gripping the ridges running around the dense plates of bark.

Sticky sap clung to my hands and clothes. I left it. It made gripping easier. Eventually I found a wide branch under open sky. I lay down on my back. Looked at the blue sky and the occasional leaf in the breeze. My hands running over the rough bark.

Admiring the textures. The layers of coarse and smooth. How long has this tree stood I wondered? How long had these branches held up the sky? A small movement caught the corner of my eye. A small black ant. Trundling along the branch. How long did it take such a small critter to climb so high? Another caught my eye, then another. A line of ants. Heading who knows where.

They moved with purpose. They had a mission, a calling. Goals and destinations.

All things I do not have.

I wonder which of us is better off?

I suppose I want to know who I am. Where I am from. Why I don't remember. Those are less goals, and more vague curiosity. I once truly cared. I craved to know who I was. Now I am more interested in finding out who I am.

Why do I have companions? Julius is a partner. He walks with me, not behind me. If he should decide our paths split someday I will see him off with a farewell and some tears. But Lena? Why do I insist on dragging a poor little girl around behind me. Why does she stay?

I need her. She is a voice I did not know I was missing.

When I was all alone I had nothing to hold on to. No creeds, no passions besides eat and stay alive. I was merely existing. Lena gives me a reason to live. To protect, foster, and raise young. An instinctual need that defines people. That forges communities and nations. I needed that, to be considered human. Lena makes me human.

I think?

I don't know.

So moody today, Me. Why?

All that craziness yesterday? No, this has been a while coming. All the people. They are distracting. Julius and Lena too. I am so focused on them that I forgot Me. Looks like some cracks have been forming on my mind while I was distracted. I wonder if anything is coming through the cracks?

Some old vestiges of who I was? I doubt very highly that I am anything like my former self. Maybe something from my past is fighting what could be my future?

No worries, I am sure it'll all work itself out for the best eventually. Just give it time.

Why worry about the future? It isn't even here yet. Why worry about the past? It is already gone. Lets focus on the present.

I should be heading back I suppose...

Goodnight.