Albert was busy studying for his finals , trying to actually concentrate on them, and keep a calm demeanor so he wouldn’t set off his chip. The door to Billy and Edgar’s room opened, and Edgar walked out. Albert watched out of the corner of his eye as Edgar walked toward the front door and headed out. Edgar usually left to go people watch for story ideas. What with it being this close to finals, he was probably desperate for a short story. Albert noticed Edgar left the door open to his and Billy’s room, and he saw Billy typing furiously on his laptop. Albert let out a sigh before dropping his pencil, standing up, and heading over to Billy’s room. He knocked on the doorframe. Billy was engrossed in his story, typing away on his laptop as he chewed on the bottom of a pen. Albert tried knocking again, but to no avail. When Billy took the pen out of his mouth to cross something out on one of the sheets of paper to his right, Albert tried knocking again. Billy glanced up.

“Oh, Albert,” Billy said. Albert watched Billy blink a few times as though to reorient himself back to the real world from his story world. “Hey, what’s up?”

Albert chewed his bottom lip, noticing the stacks of paper and the open laptop. “Are you busy?”

“Sort of. I’m just about to kill someone,” Billy said in the most nonchalant way possible.

Albert stared at Billy carefully. “I’m assuming... in your story. You’re killing someone in your story.”

Billy gave a half smile. “Do I look like I could kill someone in real life?”

Albert shrugged. “I have to check every once in a while.”

“My real-life morals are sound, Albert.” Billy closed his laptop. “What can I help you with?”

Albert nodded, a grim look on his face. “Do you remember a couple days ago when the thing that happened, happened, and we were successful at it.”

There was a slight twitch in Billy’s mouth. “Yeah.” Billy was especially adamant on everyone not talking about the specifics of what they were doing, just to get into practice of not speaking about it in public.

“You told me not to talk to a certain individual, because as you said, it was ruining my chances,” Albert said, recalling what Billy said when he tried to talk to Marie. Billy paused, making no reaction whatsoever, so Albert continued. “Does that mean I actually have a chance? At all?”

Billy’s eyes began to brighten, but it was clear he was trying to hide the excitement on the rest of his face. “Albert, are you coming to me for relationship advice?”

Albert could hear Billy’s excitement building like he could hear a potential dam beginning to groan under pressure. “Umm, yeah. I guess.”

Billy began squealing and slid his laptop onto his bed. “Albert! I’ve been waiting and watching you squander your relationship with her for so long! I’m so happy you’ve finally come to me! Have a seat. Get yourself comfortable. Let’s salvage this!” Albert blinked as Billy leapt out of his desk chair. “Sit!” Billy commanded.

Albert found himself in the chair with no idea how he actually got there. Billy pulled out Edgar’s chair and set it in front of Albert’s. Billy plopped down and set his ankle on his other knee, then clasped his hands together and rested them on the crossed knee. “I’m so glad you’re here. Let’s get into the nitty gritty.”

Albert was still at a loss as to what was happening that he raised a hand. “Wait. So you think Marie has feelings for me?”

“Before she left, absolutely,” Billy said. “It was clear as day when you slipped up and told her you liked her. It was the time she realized it too. I’ve been watching you two dance around each other for the longest time.”

Albert stared at Billy. “And you’ve said nothing?”

Billy shrugged. “Okay, truth be told, in junior high I liked to think of myself as a love fairy, pushing couples together and watching their relationship bloom, but there were also times I got it wrong, so I swore to only help when they asked.”

Albert paused, before leaning forward and rubbing his head. “How can you tell? How do you know?”

Billy straightened his back. “I’d like to think of myself as the master of human nature. Now, back to you and Marie. I just have a question for you. What exactly do you want out of your relationship?”

Albert glanced at Billy, trying very hard not to think of him as some sort of love therapist before rubbing his temples. “Honestly, Billy, I’d just love it if she stopped glaring at me every time I entered a room. I just want to be friends again, and if it only gets to the friend stage, then I’ll be content.”

Billy nodded. “That is an excellent answer. You’ve been humbled, and now are as malleable as clay.”

“Wait, what?” Albert said.

“It’s a good thing, Albert. It means, with time, your relationship could go far,” Billy said.

“There’s no way you’d know that.”

Billy paused, then closed his eyes in deep concentration. “I’ve been right thirty-two percent of the time.”

Albert frowned. “That’s not great odds.”

“No wait, wait.” Billy closed his eyes again, concentrating hard and moving his fingers as though counting on them. “Sixty-four. Sixty four percent of the time.”

Albert studied Billy closely. This was the first time he’d heard Billy use a math term before, and he had a sneaky suspicion the percentages were off.

“Just out of curiosity, when you say sixty-four percent, you mean…”

“Well, at first I was counting the couples I’d helped, but thirty-two percent didn’t sound as great, so I counted them all individually, so I can have sixty-four. It sounds way better. This way, if I can help you and Marie, I’d get sixty-six percent, which is all the closer to helping one hundred people find their true loves.”

Albert stared at Billy, not exactly sure what to say. “That’s… not at all how percentages work.”

Billy gave a small pout of his lips. “Yeah, I didn’t think so. I just wanted to try a math term to help you understand it better.”

Albert shook his head slowly, a smile on his face. “Billy, percent means ‘out of one hundred’, not ‘about to reach one hundred.’”

Billy looked confused. “But I haven’t helped a hundred people yet. I’ve probably only helped maybe forty couples total.”

Albert took the time to give Billy an incredulous look before he got up and grabbed Billy’s laptop off his bed. “There’s a simple way to figure that out.” He sat down and opened the laptop. “So, thirty-two divided by forty is…” Albert punched in the numbers on the calculator built into Billy’s laptop. “0.8. Then we calculate the percentage by multiplying it by one hundred, and you’ve got eighty percent.”

Albert looked up to see Billy staring at him with a somewhat vacant expression. Albert paused. “You’re not really paying attention, are you.”

Billy snapped to reality. “No, no, no. I’m just… you know, it’s all cool, but honestly it all sort of voop-” Billy made the motion of wiggling his hand by one ear. “And then voop!” He motioned his other hand flying out of his other ear. “But hey, I’m really glad you find it so enjoyable. You keep it up. I’m sure you’ll find a use for it somewhere. Like...” Billy was grappling for an answer that wouldn‘t sound demeaning. Albert cocked an eyebrow.

“Like being able to quickly calculate the exact change back for a customer at a burger joint without needing to use the register,” Albert filled in, the common response that most people gave when he mentioned his hobby of math and science. Billy gave a noncommittal shrug. Albert gave a pitiful laugh. “I guess it’s easier for me to wrap my head around numbers and figures instead of figuring out this whole situation with Marie. I don’t even know what to do.”

Billy patted Albert’s arm. “It is simple, yet complicated. You need to show Marie how remorseful you feel about beating up Abe.”

Albert watched Billy, waiting for anything else he was about to say, but said nothing. His frown deepened. “And how exactly do I do that?”

“Well, wait for the right moment to tell her how horrible you feel about it. Because you do, don’t you? You feel horrible?”

Albert winced. “Yeah. I do.” He swallowed before looking back at Billy. “But… did you see Abe’s face? I really hurt him. Is talking about it really going to help? Is there anything else on top of that I need to do?”

Billy shook his head. “Never underestimate the power of communication, Albert. I’ve been watching you two ever since we’ve been friends. Marie is what I’d like to call a healer. When she comes across a situation, she’d rather leave it with every side feeling better about themselves. It’s becoming clearer with her plans for the government that she wants everyone to just get along, where as you are more of a battle-ready man, fighting your way out of any situation. Fighting is not the way to woo this type of woman.”

Albert gave the smallest of nods. “But, how exactly do I go about talking to Marie? It seems… I don’t know. I’m not good with words or forming an apology. I can’t just say, ‘Sorry for hurting Abe. It won’t happen again.’”

Billy shrugged. “You never know. Something is better than nothing, as long as you don’t mess it up too much.”

Albert pointed. “Yeah, see. That. How do I make sure I don’t mess it up? Is this a kind of thing that can be role played or something? Can you give me tips?”

Billy scratched his chin in thought. “Honestly, Albert, I’m not sure if practicing will help. Girls have a tendency to sniff out insincere apologies, and if you roleplay it too long, it might just sound like an act to her. Your best bet is to go in cold and wing it. But make it sincere. From your heart.”

Albert buried his head in his hands. He wanted this to work so much, and he wasn’t sure he could trust his skills.

“I’ll give you this tip, though. Wait until she’s not glaring at you,” Billy said.

Albert peaked through his fingers at Billy. “What if she never stops glaring?”

Billy gave the smallest twitch of a smile. “Oh, she will. She will. You need to give her a grace period to help her process her feelings. Like she said, she has a lot on her plate, and you’ve proved to be not so important to her at the moment.” Billy frowned as he stared off into the distance. “Actually, there’s a good chance she might just keep this going for a long time simply because she has so much on her plate. Give her a few weeks, and if she’s still glaring, we’ll regroup and come together to think of something. Because at that point she’ll have ignored it too long that it needs to be addressed. It’s not healthy for her to ignore it. But we’ll wait till we get to that point.”

Albert stared at Billy, somehow just realizing how incredibly smart his friend was. Billy noticed the look and gave a shrug. “Just know that what you did to Abe really cut her soul. It might have driven her to Abe if she had any feelings like that for him at all.”

Albert frowned. “So, you don’t think she likes Abe in that way?”

Billy shook his head. “No, and it hurt Abe to hear that from me, but he pursued anyway. I mean, I have been wrong in the past before. After all, I’ve been – what did you say? – Eighty percent right? And therefore…” Billy counted on his fingers. “I’m likely to be twenty percent wrong? Is that correct?”

Albert nodded. “Yeah, that’s right.”

Billy shook his head. “Math is no fun. You make one tiny mistake, and there goes your chances at being one hundred percent in anything. Human nature is far more forgiving.”

Albert nodded and ran a hand through his hair before resting it there for a second. “It probably doesn’t help that my prefrontal cortex isn’t fully formed.”

Billy had been picking at a string on his sock when Albert said that, and it caused him to snap his head over and stare at Albert. “Sorry, your what?”

“The prefrontal cortex.” Albert touched his forehead. “It’s the part of the brain that understands long term consequences and gives us the maturity to see a situation and use good judgement. It actually doesn’t fully form until age twenty-five. Until then, we base all our decisions through the amygdala, the emotion part of the brain. Which is why we make stupid decisions sometimes.” Albert glanced at Billy, already knowing the strange look he was getting. Billy continued to stare at him.

“Yeah, um, don’t start with that as an apology,” Billy said.

Albert frowned. “What do you mean? I literally explained in a scientific way why I made a stupid decision.”

Billy hesitated before placing a hand on his shoulder. “But Marie is a girl.”

“A scientific girl.”

“But a girl notwithstanding, who’s soul has been hurt by you. It doesn’t matter if your right hand magically disconnected from your body and started beating Abe, and you were doing everything you possibly could to stop said magical hand. You still need to take the blame. You, not your brain, need to admit that you and only you are to blame for hurting Abe. Not some malfunctioning frontal nortex thingy.”

“Prefrontal cortex,” Albert mumbled.

“Yeah. Girls like to see you feel the remorse, and even if you’re blaming your brain, it still looks like you’re moving the blame to something else beside yourself,” Billy said.

Albert cocked his eyebrow. “Even if it’s my brain that’s the issue?”

“Yes. Trust me.”

Albert sighed. “Yeah, okay.”

Billy smiled and gave Albert a nudge. “Best of luck in your pursuit of friendship, Albert.”

“Yeah,” Albert said, looking up at Billy. “Thanks.” He got up and headed toward the door when he paused. “And, um, best of luck killing your character.” Albert winced. It was one of the phrases he’d never thought he’d say.

Billy snorted as he opened his laptop and wiggled his fingers over the keyboard. “Oh, so many people are going to die today.” He sounded excited about the idea.

Albert gave him a look before smiling and heading out the room.