“What made you believe it would be so easy as that?” Momma binds my ribs and asks what should be a simple question.

I throw my hands up in the air, then wince as the pull of my ribs says what a horrid idea that was. Momma gives me a compassionate glance.

“Ran said the same thing. It’s just…” I have to think about how to phrase this, “If The King truly wanted me to do this, then wouldn’t he have given me a way? It seems I’m stuck. Does he want me to give up? Am I doing it wrong? What am I supposed to do now? How…?”

Momma puts her hand up to stall my questions. Laughter dances in her eyes. I huff and cross my arms.

“Hold, little rascal. Let me ask you a question. Do you think The King of miracles would make it easy?”

“I… I don’t know. Maybe.”

Momma hums beneath her breath as she finishes binding my ribs. “Aria, do you remember the story of Gollywagot and The Giant Jullgram?”

I almost roll my eyes, but stop just in time as her eyes cut over to me. “Yes. Everyone knows about Golly the Dwarf and how he asked The King for help defeating the giant orc. The King granted his request, and Golly defeated Jullgram with naught but a river rock, saving his kingdom.”

My eyes snap to hers as I make the connections. A slight smirk tips her lips as the meaning dawns. “You’re saying… you’re saying that this is a giant? My giant?”

“Mmmm. And why would The King want you to face a giant? Something out of your control. Something bigger than you imagined?”

“I don’t know. Why not just give us an easy route and lead us where he wants us? I would like that.”

A rumble comes from the big white rug sleeping by the fire. “Perhaps to show that you can’t do it all, but must lean on him and let him show the way.”

My eyes grow big as I look at Ran. Another loud rumble, much like a snore, emanates from her chest. Her head rests on her paws, but her brown eyes watch me.

“Of course," I say beneath my breath. "He wants to show us that we can trust him. Through it all.” Even the giants. Especially the giants.

“Mmm,” Momma agrees, snipping the last roll of cotton and tucking it into the binding.

“But that still doesn’t show me what to do now,” I grumble, the high of figuring out what Momma meant replaced by the melancholy of my loss.

“Do everything without—“

“Grumbling or complaining. I know. Doesn’t make it any less hard.”

“Is it any easier than fighting to protect the innocent? Than facing an evil man in our own home? Or, let me ask you this: is it any harder than parting an Elderwood Forest, raising the dead, healing the broken-hearted, forgiving enemies, helping a dwarf defeat an orc...?”

I smile. Just a touch. But it’s enough. “Thanks, Momma. That helps a lot.” I lean over and give her a shoulder hug.

She smiles, a warm thing that makes me happy. “He’s with you. Maybe all you have to do now is wait for him to provide your answer.”

“I will.”

“Momma! Aria! Come quick.” I meet Mother’s eyes and we both shoot out of the cabin toward Jack’s high-pitched voice.

Jill is on the ground, another seizure quaking her small frame. Jack holds her as much as he can, but she’s too much for him. I grab both her arms to prevent her thrashing. This is bad.

“Jack, grab the green tincture. Bottom shelf, left side. Smells like peppermint.”

He looks at me with wide, frightened eyes before darting to do my bidding.

I take off my shirt and roll it beneath her head. My knife sheath goes in her mouth to keep her from biting her tongue.

Jack thrusts the tonic into my hands. I uncork it and place it beneath her nose, then slip a few drops into her mouth between her teeth and the leather sheath.

The seizure lessons slightly, and a few minutes later, it passes. Her breathing evens out and she settles into a deep sleep. I’m afraid that one of these days she’s not going to wake up. I shake the thought from my head, knowing if I give up hope... I can't. I just can't.

I grab her shoulders and Momma gets her legs. Jack has the couch ready with the warmest blankets from our beds by the time we get her inside.

Momma has tears streaming down her cheeks. “I’m not sure how much more I can handle.” Her voice chokes off.

She crumples and I catch her. She sobs into my shoulder. I have to be the strong one, when all I want is for someone to hold me, too.

“It’s alright. She’s going to be fine. We’re doing everything we can. I’ll find a way to get coin for another healer. We’ll figure this out. It’ll be ok.” I speak soothingly, gently. I've learned when people are as distraught as this, it's more the tone of your words than the words themselves. A soft, easy cadence for them to focus on helps more than anything.

I sing. My voice is nothing like the honey of Momma, but it's alright for this.

Momma quietens in my arms. I grab her arm and lead her to the other most comfortable chair. She relaxes and closes her eyes, her breathing eventually evening out in sleep.

She's the strongest person I know, but when it comes to her children... it hurts her deeply to see Jill suffer and be unable to help her. It's a constant strain—for all of us. Even if my sister is worth it, it's hard.

I look at Jack. He just stands there, face as pale as a sheet, eyes wide and fearful. His hands clench and unclench as if has no idea what to do. What to fight.

"Come 'ere, Jack." He shuffles over to me, and I hold him.

There’s nothing more that can be done. I rock him back and forth as I did when he was but a wee babe.

He doesn’t say a word. Just lets me quietly sing him a lullaby.

I remember when the seizures started. And I remember how scared I was then. But they’ve gotten progressively worse.

There’s nothing any of us can do. Only pray and hope we can figure out what's wrong before it’s too late.

~~~

“Go rest, sweetheart. I’ll take it from here.” Momma's soothing voice intrudes on my stare at Jill, watching her chest rise and fall to be sure she's still with us.

I rub my eyes and add more wood to the stove already burning hot. “But...”

“No buts. You’re dead on your feet. Go rest.” Momma kisses my cheek.

I grab my deep red cloak from under the couch.

“We need more herbs and meat. I’ll go to the market.” I need to get away. Momma is past her breakdown, and now I need a break. Something, anything, to get my mind off this.

Momma grabs my shoulders, looking me dead in the eye even as I try to avoid her. There’s worry swirling in her eyes. “It’s early morning. Stay and rest. I can make do with what we have.”

She takes my cloak and puts it back, then guides me straight to bed. I don’t remember my head hitting the pillow. But my last thought was of Jill, pale and silent.