Rule 18

Eavesdrop Frequently & Test Sneaking

Statement: I can’t be clear on what to expect from this warped world. Imagined or real, this much has to be treated as fact—our lives are at risk. Vending machines and multiple other odd reflections kept this new reality just off kilter from the old. Repeatedly (as I’ve stated before)—I find myself asking “why?” To be more specific—why did our powers lend themselves so easily to murder?

This is a natural order to the world. Lions are born with claws and taught to hunt. Most predators are. Whereas prey are nurtured by those around them to be afraid. Rabbits don’t fear a lion until a lion eats one of them—it is not instinct. Seeing death robs them of innocence and the belief that only carrots (or whatever) exist. The loss is profound and applies to humans as well as rabbits.

They got me a long knife. The blade was roughly twelve inches and thin. Where they’d found such a weapon was beyond me, but it was also very possible that someone simply made the item recently. They could have a forge in any one of these buildings.

They could have had a farm full of foul fowls for fornication for all I knew. This new world made sense only in abstract and the finer points were a mess. I moved past wondering where they’d picked up the weapon from.

In any event, the blade became my second stored item. Pulling it out of my palm, materializing it from semi-nothing, was a strange experience. No stranger than the wine flute, but far more useful. It had the same starry night sky composite and a sharp point that easily cut my finger.

It threw rather poorly. I needed a lot more practice.

I pricked myself again and giggled as the wound healed. Watching myself recover from damage was far different than feeling it or falling asleep. Toughness was another issue, as in, I lacked any. I debated if my obfuscation, which was a fancy way of saying hidden or blurred from view, would work with plate armor like Leon’s.

There was a shuffle outside. I peeled back the blind and looked out the front.

“I wouldn’t go in there,” Theo said to a scrawny girl in loose clothing. She had a wide brimmed hat that cast more shade than a hat that size should have. The only reason I could make out her clothes was because of evening light brushing against the ill-controlled shade.

The new girl poked Theo and said, “Ain’t your decision. Coach Big Balls himself says I gotta talk to the new guy, and show him how to get to the hydra’s lair.”

Theo sniffed and rubbed his nose with a hand. “All the same, I don’t like it. You’re too young.”

“As if. I’m legal in all fifty one states.” She was young looking, but it was hard to tell with the darkness surrounding her. Her voice sounded like a teenager’s, with that squeakiness of a high school freshman.

“He’s creepy,” Theo said. “All smiling at nothing and shit. He asked me for a knife and grinned. Like he’d gone mad.”

I didn’t remember that. Upon review, while they chatted, I did remember asking for a knife but not grinning.

“You been around the block a time or two. Ain’t us that’s mad. Just the world, yeah?”

“No. This guy's like that… that villain in the movie. Smiling at jokes no one else hears. I walked in there earlier and he was giggling to himself with a pinky in the air and a wine glass made of god knows what. He pulled the damn thing right out of his hand like a magic trick.”

They were of course, utterly wrong and probably right at the same time. The world had been filled with madness. I still didn’t understand vending machines that ate people when upset. Now, I also knew that Theo was perfectly willing to talk, but not to me.

It felt rude. However, my ability to endear myself to individuals had dwindled since the car accident. Being in a new world didn’t fill me with the urge to change my ways regarding people. It’d only increased my distrust, but that could have been a side effect of the artifact I’d purchased.

Issues of my attitude were put aside. The shaded teen opened the door without hesitation. I stared as she came in. One of the recently formed knives sat in my hand and the spell book to one side.

The scene made her steps falter for only a second. She puckered a cheek and ran a tongue across her teeth like she was cleaning away meat. I don’t know why I could make out that much but still have no idea what her eyes looked like.

Her hand turned over and a finger pointed at me. “So, you Richard’s brother? Coach Big Balls says you go by Little Dick.”

That name would get really annoying soon. I also had no clue why she referred me to as Richard’s brother. It was possible she’d known Richard from school, or maybe this tiny girl was related to Madison.

“My name is not Little Dick,” I said.

“Right. I give zero fucks what you call yourself. But Coach Big Balls says I gotta show you the angry hydra duder. But we gotta be careful, he spits.”

“So do camels,” I said, feeling a bit wittier than I had in ages.

“Still don’t care. You ready to get gone?”

I’d eaten, drank, and still felt delightfully woozy. Sleep was needed, despite the worrisome state of my personal security. I banked on them needing me alive to murder the monster rather than kill me in my sleep.

“I need rest.”

“Ain’t that grand.” She crossed her arms and pursed her lips. I couldn’t tell if she was tanned under the hat. Too much shade obscured her face despite being in the trailer where lantern light flickered. It was like an umbrella that ignored physics.

Post Note: She was clearly half broken; as were we all. So, what would physics matter? Her hat, my book of spells, Leon’s stupid hammer. We each have, or had, our tools of the trade. I wonder if the hero with the black sword used his weapon in the same manner I was using its energy spell. Yet, I wonder many things.

I set down the knife and gave it a blank stare as the blade broke. It became stardust, or something close enough that it didn’t matter. The black energy reappeared on my book’s open page.

“What is your name?” I asked.

“Ain’t telling you my real name. No one doing, no how. Some people do nasty things if they know your name. Like them ladies that started this nightmare months ago. They knew all our names. Wrote ‘em down. You see where that got us?”

It made sense, as much as anything. No one here went by their actual name. Except Leon, but maybe they, whomever “some people” referred to, had to know the whole name in order to do nasty things.

“I’m Lance.”

“Sure you is. You’re Richard’s bro. Little Dick.” She snickered.

I ignored her and worked to put together the situation. There were gaps in my logic, drinking high proof liquor hadn’t done me any favors. Coach Madison knew my name or at least acted like he remembered me. It was closer to him knowing my brother. I worried they might be able to cast some magic using names, since two people knew of me.

“That monster runs at night,” I said.

“Yep,” she responded.

“I’ll plant a trap where it sleeps.” That was my vague plan at this stage. There were no better ones. I could drop a rune at the door, while it was reeling I’d create a knife and plant another explosive in its mouth. It would simply be a matter of hiding and whittling away at it.

“Yeah. Right.”

“Tonight, Little Shade,” I said. If she planned on calling me Little Dick, I’d call her Little Shade. It fit well enough in my mind.

“I dun like that nick.”

She annoyed me. “Tough. I am the one who may die. I will pick the time. We will go tonight.”

She tapped a foot and tilted her head. The shadow cast from her wide brimmed hat stayed planted over her. I pooled energy and practiced summoning a fresh knife.

“Kay,” she said and shook her head. Like I’d been stupid to believe there were other options. “We’ll scout the place. But it comes back at sunrise. We gotta be ready.” Little Shade turned over her hand and pointed again. “To do the thing with your petty little knife.” She had choppy words like the tiny faerie. It annoyed me.

I smiled and attempted to be friendly. “See you tonight.”

Little Shade turned and left. I fiddled with the blade. At some point I’d simply started to accept fidgeting with a knife was normal. We were all around the bend here.

She hadn’t taken her hat off during the entire situation. I had only the sound of her voice and Theo’s statements to go off. The hat felt unprofessional, my dad would have been furious. Still, I’d summoned a knife in her presence so we were probably even on the uncouth front.

“You’re right. Bonkers with a knife. It’s grand,” she said to Theo, loudly enough that even the whore next door paused her encouraging theatrics.

I found a small bed, bundled up, and tried to sleep, spell book in hand. Shortly after, the sounds of bad moaning came from next door. The thin blanket they gave me couldn’t block the noise. I blacked out anyway.

The trailer door opened and I jerked upright. Blade ready in my hand before I’d even had time to realize. Small lights glittered in the otherwise dark room. I squinted, wondering why I couldn’t see in the darkness like before. Something was in the room but it was hidden.

I asked the darkness nothing, and expected nothing in return. My knife stayed close to my chest. My other hand was stuck between pages of my book, ready to pull away red energy and blow this place to hades. I’d heal, the invader might not.

“Expected a bit more zam, I did,” a woman said. It took me a few blinks to place it as Little Shade’s tone. She sounded older at night.

Post Note: In hindsight, this is an extremely awkward statement to make. In my defense, I had and have no interest in her in any sexual manner. Even as I write this journal, I can honestly admit I have no clue what Little Shade actually looks like or how old she really is.

I relaxed and let my fingers uncurl. Blowing up my guide to the big creature was a bad idea. Even if it was foolish to trust, I needed her to reach this hydra creature’s lair. There was a creek of a person shifting weight. The trailer door moved.

“Come on.” Little Shade’s voice came from outside one of the windows.

The air was cool. I’d forgotten how much the temperature dropped at night. A fat moon hung above, larger than I remembered. Almost close enough to pluck down from the sky and wear like a badge. It was the perfect night for a hunt.

Little Shade’s silhouette bobbed ahead of me. We passed guards who huddled near small bonfires. They had a thick cloth hanging around their station that might help keep some heat in and dull the fire’s illumination.

Little Shade lifted one of the flaps to the side, which caused both guards to pull on swords at their belt. She put up a hand then turned it over to point at them. “We’re headed out. If you don’t see us by tomorrow night, you say a prayer, yeah? Maybe say one for us now. We’re off to kill the lizard of mulberry.”

“Good luck,” the guard said. He sniffed once. I stepped in closer and smiled, which caused the man’s face to go pale despite the heat in their tent.

She talked, undisturbed by any of us. “Ain’t needing luck. We need us some claymores. Or some real rocket launchers. Maybe a hungry dragon. I ain’t seen one of them yet. Maybe there’s dragon in the hills, they like hills right?”

The guard shook his head. Little Shade let the tent flap down. We continued out through a badly propped door that might have been stolen from a department store, down a narrow passage, and headed up a hill toward the library.

“So, we go left by the corner store, then up passing the gas station. Then we go left two more blocks. Right on Luther. Right on fifth, then we end up smack dab in the middle of its tiny little abode. Like the world’s biggest dog house, it is.”

I vaguely knew the streets. She might be talking about the fire station part way across town. This town’s layout hadn’t changed much since the event, only been repainted with a world that barely resembled the old one. We were in a funhouse mirror, or a nightmare, or perhaps an alien experiment.

Little Shade continued, “Or was it left on fifth? Can’t remember. This town’s full of knots.”

We made it a few blocks in relative peace. I wondered why we weren’t taking the car or moving with an armed escort. It was likely Little Shade would be able to survive or escape with her lacking presence. I was expendable in their mind. There might be a few more people behind us with those rocket launchers, simply to clean up the monster if I did enough damage.

The very thought put me on edge. I spent much of our journey watching in every direction for signs of being tailed. Then I realized they probably already knew where the hydra creature bedded, so they had no reason to follow.

Little Shade caught me off guard with a sudden question.

“What’s a Runed Rogue? Is that you? Are you ruined somehow?” She snorted. “That’s a kick. Acting like you’s the only one ruined ‘round here. We’re all ruins down here, we is. Practically made of them.”

Little Shade’s hands stuck out slightly from the shroud of darkness. She had a small white piece of paper in her hands. It was a business card, and I’d only seen a few of them since this whole mess started.

“Lance, you really are a Lance, huh? Never would have pegged you as a Lance. Stupid name, it is. All pointy. One of them jabbing thrusting things that people on horseback hold. Like it’s a biggest dick competition. That’s what it is.”

I did a double take and rapidly approached. She had my card. I hadn’t looked at the damned piece of paper in ages and she’d somehow stolen it. My heart skipped and hand lashed out to take it back.

“Like the horse has a big cock. So the knight has to have a bigger cock. Then he uses it on another man. It’s a waste, that’s what it is. It is. A waste of a cockle lance—”

Her voice cut off when I grabbed her. I twisted, and found myself holding Little Shade tightly against me. Her hat tipped upward, pressing against my nose. It smelled like the darkest corner of an unlit cave.

She pressed a finger on the tip of a blade at her neck. I blinked repeatedly, unsure when I’d grabbed her or put the knife so close to her skin. This world was breaking me and I’d started reacting without thought. Little Shade was fearless, or insane.

“My card,” I spoke calmly despite the frantic whir of thoughts.

Little Shade held up the piece of paper. I grabbed it with my free hand and wondered how to protect the stupid item. Maybe it would be worth storing. Then I could pull it out whenever I wanted, assuming my black spell magic even worked that way.

“Would have given it back. Always do. Ain’t no reason to keep ‘em. Damn things up and vanish in a few hours anyway.”

“You are loud,” I said.

“Ain’t matter. No one notices me unless I’m right in them’s faces, except you. Prolly cus you’re a sneak.”

That was useful to know but didn’t make me less jittery. I was fixated on how she’d lifted the card which should have been in my pocket. She could have stolen the book, maybe. It might be possible to store my spell book as well, using the black spell, but then I’d be in a weird catch twenty two, where I couldn’t summon the book without the spell, but couldn’t get to the spell without the book.

Little Shade might have an answer, but I refused to ask her for help. It was the same reason that I’d had for doing everything on my own since the accident. Not pride, but fatalism, if I couldn’t do it while others were around, I’d never be able to handle the tasks while left alone.

I tightened my clothes and the shoelaces that bound my book. There had to be a better way to carry them that involved less risk. Desperation might push me to using the black spell on the book to try to store it. The rules of this new world would allow it, block it, or cause me to explode.

There were far more of those annoying mini-orcs patrolling a few blocks away. Little Shade walked right by them. A hand peeked out from under her halo of darkness and beckoned me onward.

“Come on. You’re a sneaky guy. Walk by them like you got a pair of real balls hidden in those drawers.”

I wished for more sleep and a drug induced coma to recover during. Instead, I acted as if I had real balls and slowly walked across the street. The mini-orc creatures didn’t even notice me. Late night darkness must have helped me, and I wondered if it had been all along. Maybe this was way that first mini-orc I’d seen completely disregarded me in favor of a chicken rabbit.

One of the loathsome little creatures stayed too far behind the pack. It wore a children’s jacket that belonged to some superhero. The idea that such a monster could wear kids clothes bothered me, so I culled him from the herd and kept moving.

“Scary knife there. That bit of shadow and light. Where’d you nick that from?”

“A dead woman’s dildo collection,” I said.

“Yah? Which end she take, the pointy end or the handle?”

“Neither.”

“Oh, tell me you didn’t steal it from that earth nymph’s house? Yeah? You did didn’t you. It’s black, like old Wart’s sword used to be. Funny init? It was his third leg what got him killed by the hussy’s husband. He ain’t good for much except lying around and getting jealous. His lance doesn’t joust if you catch my meaning. Word is he was firing blanks well before the event.”

That filled in a few holes I hadn’t cared about. Little Shade had plenty of gossip and had been sharing random tidbits during our long midnight stole.

Post Note: I’ve been trying to write only the parts which may matter to a person reading this journal. While it may be amusing to know the corner had been remodeled, and the paint used was an off-shade orange, these facts aren’t exactly relevant to survival. Despite the ‘game like’ mentality, putting an explosive rune near an off-color bit of wall would result in the exact same exit as exploding a regular wall might provide. There were no secret treasure chests.

I closed my eyes briefly and could see the brown-skinned woman with dark hair. She’d been incredibly attractive despite the almost alien look. That final moment of desperation and all she could think of was sex.

“They’re both dead. He got a hole in his throat, fell over, and crushed her.”

Little Shade whistled long and slow. One of the tusked monsters perked up and glanced around, but couldn’t see us. He paused upon seeing the dead mini-orc and watched as his companion’s body turned into light.

“Treat?” the mini-orc said. It sniffed and moved on.

I contemplated killing the whole lot of them. They were fairly harmless compared to my first day of dealing with them. It helped that I was apparently a sneak.

We kept going. Little Shade walked through patrols like a ghost. I felt uncertain about my own sneaky nature and took wider paths around them. Eventually we made it up the street, with a right on fifth, and to the fire station.

The building itself was worn. Concrete driveways showed signs of multiple cracks. Parts of the wall had been chewed on by a large mouth. Wood splintered and metal framing was dented. Cars lined the street on either side, like a wide open dog pen. Filth and debris were pushed to the back of the fire truck garage creating a strange bed.

“There she be,” the young girl said. She was jittery and the brimmed hat kept wiggling up and down. I couldn’t figure out how she managed to be so stealthy with such an obvious accessory.

The hydra, as they called it, was out and about terrorizing the streets. My young guide and I sat two houses away from its lair. We’d both “sneaked” about six miles to reach this spot. I glanced down the street and started assembling any sort of plan.

I had no clue if I’d be alive by tomorrow night.