[Your party has entered combat!]

To his surprise, Harumi rushed ahead to claim the first attack. She was a whirlwind of martial arts and electrical resistance. Clyde decided not to be outdone by the woman, stepping in and surprised himself with attacks that connected often, delivering higher damage, and even a stun status effect. Something amazing happened after one Ion was left. It dropped to a knee, panting.

[Duo attack triggering].

He and Harumi looked at each other simultaneously, nodded, then lurched forward. When their fists collided with the creature, a green burst of light and energy dissolved it into nothingness.

[Battle completed. Victory! Reward: 100 EXP and $20.]

“Did we overdo that a little,” Clyde said as they moved on.

“Maybe,” Harumi said then grabbed his arm, “but when the moment came, I just couldn’t stop. We moved so well together.”

Just then, a scratching sound made the young man spin and nearly pass out. A black spider the size of a greyhound slowly walked toward them. He tried to ignore Harumi’s grin.

“I don’t like spiders, okay,” he finally said. She pinched his cheek.

“It’s okay. Harumi is here to take care of you.”

He let out a sigh. He found himself sighing a lot. He needed to kill the habit.

“Let’s just get this over with.”

Spider

Level: 11

Type: Monster

Work under: demon lord spawn.

Special: Sticky spray. [Reduces speed by 40%]

Weakness: Your hostile detection isn’t high enough for this.

Resistances: See above.

Secret: Your hostile detection, luck, and will isn’t high enough for this.

To the beat of the analysis, the spider unleashed a burst of white goo. Weary of the jokes that could be made about this, Clyde dodged with all of his worth. He unleashed an energy ball that untapped a critical.

[Enemy HP has dropped to 50%]

Harumi took a slight amount of damage from its lurch-scratch, but she finished it off with streaks of electricity.

[Battle completed. Victory! Reward: 200 EXP and $30.]

Clyde and Harumi killed a few imps and pumkos before taking a break.

[Congratulations, you have reached level 14! Stats increased.]

As they rounded a corner to find a bench, they noticed a few patrols of enemies pacing, some moving frantically, others stood in groups talking amongst each other. Clyde could tell from the atmosphere that they were angry about something. He gestured at Harumi and they moved closer to two enemies that were engaged colorfully in a heated conversation, backs to the duo.

“Yeah my dingo, she’s being such a bitch today,” a pumko said. “Ordering us all over the place as if something interesting actually happens in this stupid city.”

“I hope one of those dipshit adventurers kill her,” an imp said. “Fucking snobby bitch. She’s complaining so much because the lord hasn’t given her an allowance. Doesn’t she realize he has better things to do. If she just stays at the palace, she’ll have all the food she needs.”

“She acts like she’s too good for demon food,” the pumko said. “Did you know the cunt muffin has never eaten a human. She never consumed a soul either. Dumb shit has no idea what’s she’s missing.”

Clyde gestured and then snuck away, undetected.

“So they’re upset with a leader that’s making them work,” Harumi said when they were far out of sight. The two found a bench and took a seat.

“Yep,” Clyde said. “And man are they pissed.”

“I almost feel sorry for their leader,” Harumi said.

Clyde simply shrugged, knowing exactly who the monsters referenced. The only thing that bugged him is that fact that the girl had the option to stay at the demon lord’s palace and enjoy as much as food as she wanted. What did that mean?

“I’m going to call the others,” Harumi said then dialed away. Two minutes later, she said, “they were already on their way. Apparently doing training on their own. Kitome’s still trying to convince her brother to join us. Did you know he’s a ninja?”

“Just found out earlier,” Clyde said. “I’m a little jealous.”

“Me too,” Harumi said. They both shared a laugh. The duo carried on a conversation for nearly fifteen minutes until someone interrupted. She pointed at Clyde. Harumi gasped.

“Found you. Now I want cupcakes!”

Toru and Kitome took this opportunity to show up to Clyde’s dismay. The system added them to the party.

He was confident that he could prevent any conflict. Judging from the scowl on Toru’s face, he had his work cut out for him.

“Don’t provoke her—she won’t attack us,” Clyde said too late. Kitome jumped the gun, unleashing her trademark giant heart-shaped energy blast. Alice easily dodged then grinned. The vibe of the area grew intense. “Kitome, you fucking idiot!”

[Alice’s bloodlust has filled the area.]

“So, you want to die, eh? Deny me the cupcakes—I’ll kill you all—how dare you attack me!”

[Warning! Warning! It is highly recommended not to engage Alice!]

[Your party has entered a BOSS fight!]

Alice stepped forward then allowed a pink aura to violently flood around her.

[Enemy has used radiance!]

Toru yelled, “take her out!”

[Toru used Brawl shout!]

[Party attack boosted by 15%. Party fighting spirit increased by 20%]

Harumi cast a flurry of electrical balls. The results were pitiful.

[Boss HP has dropped to 499% Enemy is not amused at taking 1% damage. Your party must be mindful of enemy radiance.]

“Five hundred percent,” Clyde said in a voice that was nearly a low squeal.

Alice laughed.

“Pathetic! Come on humans, you can do better than that.”

Kitome fell for the taunt, not missing a beat as she charged the petite twin-tailed young woman. And she missed every punch, every dagger swipe, every magical girl-enhanced attack. Alice roundhouse-kicked her to the ground, then dashed for Toru. They engaged in a flurry of hand to hand combat straight of Clyde’s favorite movies. It didn’t take long for her to overpower him. She sent Toru flying into Harumi.

[Kitome’s HP has dropped to 50%]

[Toru’s HP has dropped to 70%]

[Harumi’s HP has dropped to 80%]

The pink-haired anime girl immediately healed the party.

[Kitome’s HP has increased to 85% and will slowly heal over time.]

[Toru’s HP has been fully restored.]

[Harumi’s HP has been fully restored.]

Clyde found himself face to face with Alice, neither attacking each other. He started to say something, but Kitome ruined his chance again, activating a spell.

[Kitome used Lovey-lovey spiral.]

A stream of mini-hearts spiraled from her hands and smashed into Alice with the force of a truck. The demoness didn’t budge nor did she take much damage.

[Boss HP has dropped to 497%]

Alice sighed.

“Enough. I’m going to end this.” She held up a hand. It began to glow.

[Boss uses Raid ender.]

“Oh fucking come on, you are broken as shit,” Clyde said. “This attack is bullshit unfair. How am I supposed to—oof.”

The expanded energy felt like lava as it hit. Maybe a lava truck, Clyde wasn’t sure.

[Your HP has dropped to 1% Enemy has held back your death. Say your prayers as you are at her mercy.]

[Your party has been wiped.]

He slowly opened his eyes, heart pounding, muscles aching, and trembling. He lied on his back, silently praying for the pain to just go away.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you,” Alice said as she looked down on him. There was only one gamble. Her weakness. His secret weakness.

“I’ll…give you cake,” he said softly then coughed. Tears threatened to stream from his eyes. Then suddenly it all went away, as if pain didn’t exist at all.

[You have been fully restored. Count your blessings to be shown mercy by an enemy as powerful as she.]

“I didn’t want to hurt you,” Alice said as she sat by Clyde. She lifted his head and placed it on her lap. “Your idiot friends brought out the worse of me.” She gently caressed his cheek. “Now tell me more about this cake.”

[Alice ended the battle.]

Clyde laughed, relieved.

“Yes, mam! You see, where I’m from, we ordered large cakes and celebrated birthdays.”

He told her about parties and food. The demoness’s eyes sparkled, face full of joy, throughout the entire tale. When he finished, she instantly healed the entire party with just a slight wave of her finger. Clyde could not deny the reminder of just how strong she was.

[Your party has been restored. Will to fight has been decreased by 5%.]

Clyde didn’t think that was enough, so he sat up and asserted his voice.

“Keep cool and don’t attack Alice. She will defend herself.”

“You know my name?” Alice said, amusement on her face. “Another one of your abilities I see. Well, I know yours. Demon mindreading and all.” She gave him a wry smile.

“Toru, I need you to order a cake. Get it to my apartment immediately, then you can go home. Don’t question it.”

Toru nodded, fear of Alice pulsing in his eyes.

Clyde wasn’t sure if they were all dead or just at one percent HP like him.

Two minutes later, Toru put down the phone.

“It will be there when you get home,” he said then placed a hand on Clyde’s shoulder. He whispered, “I’m sorry you have to carry this burden for us. We’ll talk tomorrow at school.”

Toru motioned for the others to join him, even Harumi who lived next door to Clyde.

“Let’s head to my place,” he told Alice. “We’ve got cake to eat.”

[Your relationship with Alice has changed from opposite sides but neutral to friendly, curious, teasing, and sexually interested.]

[Quest completed!]

[Hahahahaha]