Roulette- sometime later

Flicking a stone into the still pond outside of Taldur's cave, Roulette sat unhappily by the edge, a slowly jiggling Dewey next to her as she sprawled out prodding the surface of the pond with her tail.

Roulette felt miserable, not because she was in a mild state of pain; the stitching all over her body pulling at her skin, but because her heart felt heavy and hard-to-lift.

The white rodent sighed and slapped the surface of the water as she mulled over her past actions, Dewey wobbling inquisitively next to her as he attentively watched her.

Only less than a single hour ago, Roulette had helped daddy drag a very injured-almost-broken Lescar home from the Greezlybear-clown-man-awful-torture-hut.

While it had not been something that had taken that long to do. To Roulette, the ordeal had felt like it had dragged on for much longer.

She could still feel the failure and shame weighing down on her even now...

Roulette twitched and looked down at her distorted image reflected in the water as the ripples slowly calmed. The events of the day, still raw in her mind, as she revisited her recent memories.

When big sister-Lescar had gone pale and fallen over, Roulette had not immediately noticed; having been too consumed with her own troubles, that is, until daddy had rushed over and started shaking the limp and floppy big-sister.

Right after that, the Greezly-man-bear had said something to Taldur before giving him something shiny.

Roulette had not been able to clearly see what the Greezly-bear had given daddy, but she did notice that her dad was clearly upset at whatever the bear had said. The feely-feather-whips on daddies head wiggling furiously before he had asked Roulette to help him drag the fainted Lescar out.

While moving to get Lescar back home, daddy made sure to tell Roulette to, "keep an eye out... with Lescar unconscious and no obvious owner to keep us... we are in big trouble."

Roulette had made sure to take that to heart, as she had already messed up badly that day. Although, she did not quite get what daddy had meant with his earlier words.

However, she had soon found out.

Roulette had not known so many other two-leggers would take so much interest in an unconscious Lescar, and had been more than a little nonplussed when multiple roving packs of two-leggers kept trying to whisk big-sis away, after spotting Roulette and daddy working hard to get her home.

At the time she hadn't understood why, 'Were these other two-leggers trying to protect Lescar thinking Roulette and daddy were predators? or were they instead trying to catch her, so they could eat her instead? Were two-leggers kin-eaters? Or was it a mating thing?'

Most of the two-leggers that did approach were the opposite sex of big sis. Males. Roulette could tell by the difference in smell, so it was possible that was the reason...

But either way, the reasons behind those two-leggers approaching had not mattered.

Roulette had long since determined that no one was taking big sis away from her, not even if they were trying to be nice, she had gotten her sister into enough trouble already and did not want more, something daddy would want too.

Together Roulette and Taldur had worked to pull Lescar all the way back to the stone house Dwayne and Dewey were waiting at, having to scare off over a dozen overly interested observers with a combined effort of hissing, threatening, and glowering as they made their way closer to their goal.

The slowest and most difficult part of the lengthy excursion to get sister home, was when they'd had to go down the back alleys to get out of, and past the market. According to daddy, there was far too much "unwanted attention" there, so she and daddy had to go around instead.

It had been hard work for Roulette to drag big-sis through the back alley, as Lescar was considerably larger than her. Something that had not been made easier, when some smelly two-leggers wearing baggy-leather-flaps on their heads and holding weird circle metal things. had tried to carry off big sis while daddy intimidated some other two-leggers.

The bag-heads had not gottten far though because as soon as Roulette caught them trying snatch big-sis, they found a bone bladed scythe rushing at them, Roulette's long snaking tail lashing out. One of the few things today Roulette had thought she had gotten right.

The"Slavers," as daddy had called them, had dropped sister-Lescar and run away, only one stopping to shoot an appraising eye at both Roulette, and Taldur, before disappearing around a corner.

Eventually, after much hostile gesturing and posturing against curious two-leggers, coupled with rapid dragging, they got back to Dewey and Dwayne, and after that things had gotten much easier.

Puzzled why they were back so soon. Taldur had quickly filled in Dwayne, and in a very short order, everything was packed up and ready for the trek down to the sewers. Taldur making a statement before they left.

"We need to look owned, Lescar has to be visible, even if she is badly wounded... however once we get into the sewers, speed is of the essence, I don't know how long Lescar has..."

Roulette, Dwayne, and Dewey had all heard the seriousness in Taldur's voice and no one wanted to let him down, or let Lescar die.

Roulette especially, it was all her fault...

She was sorry...

Moving together, the monsters had clustered around Lescar protectively, Dewey and Taldur either side of the tied on Lescar, Dwayne's shoulders serving as the saddle, while Roulette herself stalked around Dwayne's ankles giving anyone who stared too long the stinkeye.

With really-strong-Dwayne's great bulk and massive stature, no two-leggers dared approach big-sis-Lescar, But many did stare, the more brave one's even reaching for the hilt of their sharp-claw-blades until they caught sight of the fellow two-legger-Lescar tied to Dwayne's back and stopped, hands no longer poised to grab for their weapons.

With daddy's advice, the group made steady progress and arrived at the same unmanned sewer entrance they had come through originally.

Entering the dark but familiar passages, the group of animals had burst into a sprint only stopping to change directions in case they were being followed.

Daddy had said it was a precaution. He did not want anyone to find our home.

With Dwayne at full pelt, they had soon arrived at home.

And there, there was nothing to distract Roulette from her mistakes.

Dwayne had declared that he would patrol the perimeters for intruders and make sure none reached the glade and Roulette had been instructed to stay here make sure nothing bothered Taldur while he worked on Lescar, leaving the large sack of coins he had strapped to his back stacked in the corner.

All of the apparently important dubine-shinies had been quickly brought down here to home and stashed away in a corner very crudely, the shinies actually not that important right now.

Right after Dwayne left, Taldur had rushed into the cave carrying a limp Lescar and Roulette had not seen any of her fellow familiars or daddy, except for always-happy-wobbly-Dewey, since.

Big sister was hurt and daddy had said he needed time to fix-make-her-better.

She really hoped Lescar did get better...

Otherwise, that would be her fault too.

Now lying in the leafy-cave-den that daddy called his glade, Roulette's mind returned to the present as she stared at her reflection in the rippling water, a sense of dissatisfaction and something yucky rising within her.

Roulette felt restless, anxious and something else she couldn't identify...

A feeling she had certainly not felt back before daddy took her in.

It was a tight sensation that made her chest ache, she still didn't know what it was.

She felt like a failure, like a mistake, like a screwup.

She did not understand what the feeling meant but she did feel Inaaahdi inahddi-

'Inadiquate' Roulette muddled with some difficulty, some of the words daddy used were hard for her to figure out.

Dismissing the idle thought, Roulette returned to her self reflection. Because of her actions, her sister had gotten badly bled-hurt, and all because she had felt hungry.

When she had run off chasing a tasty smell earlier this bright-time-day ignoring Lescar's warning, she had gotten herself, daddy, and big-sister-Lescar in trouble in that nasty-cloth-cave.

It was still only recent, since she, big sister and daddy had been in that scary cloth-hut-cave...

Sharp. Stabbing. Ripping. Sewing. Unmaking.

Roulette shuddered slightly, thinking back to what happened there was hard-scary, it made her tremble in fear.

Roulette touched a soft finger to her side, running a claw down the bare skin and shivering, the skin puckered and irritated where lines of knitted together flesh lay.

'A reminder I almost di-' Roulette broke off halfway gulping as she hyperventilated

'A- al- almost-' Roulette tried again.

'Almost... stopped-being-alive...' Roulette managed, breathing heavily.

Roulette looked around wide-eyed, making sure no one noticed her episode, she had only recently realized that daddy did not like it when she was loud or showed weakness.

Daddy liked it when she was tough, even though she wasn't that tough...

Roulette couldn't help but feel ashamed, daddy had not said anything more after Lescar had been dragged home, but Roulette knew he was displeased with her.

The way he coldly ignored her and turned his back on her without mentioning her name, It hurt.

Daddy was disappointed in her weakness and lack of fursait- foursay- 'foresight,' Roulette coughed out.

Roulette stared at her reflection, still filled with that painful searing conviction, her own sad face filling her with disgust.

'I'm was so weak, stupid, and pathetic, daddy... was right to be disappointed,' the rodent whispered discontentedly.

She had almost been killed when fighting the two-leggers here in the glade, had led both Lescar and Taldur into an inescapable torture-tent-hut, and then gotten immediately taken out by the scary-clown-monster.

She had done little more than fail, then fail again.

Unlike big sister...

Big sister had fought and almost beaten the scary clown, had not been defeated when fighting the invading two-leggers, and was always talked too and about by daddy.

Roulette had only made mistakes where her older sister had strode, even in the few practice fights Roulette had fought with her older sister, she had never once won, her older sister easily countering Roulettes simple tactics.

Thinking back on her wanting past actions Roulette muttered bitterly aloud, no one around to hear her but Dewey.

"I should have listened to her..."

Dewey who had been idly dissolving a patch of moss around the edge of the pond perked up upon hearing this whisper, before slugging his way over to the dispirited rat.

Twisting his stalk, Dewey sensing something was amiss, moved even closer to the wistful rat before coming to a stop next to her, patiently listening, his single eye stalk trembling ponderously.

A few moments passed in silence as the two creatures sat next to each other unmoving before Dewey breached the quiet.

".....???????" the slime asked calmly, his normally jolly rippling self, still and sober.

Hearing the note of questioning in Dewey's buzzing, Roulette blinked, coming out of her inner thoughts and turning her elongated snout to face the empathetic jelly. Giving the slug-like creature a wide stare as it asked what was bothering her.

"Noth- nothing is wrong Dewey! I'm just... I'm just sad that's all." Roulette replied to the concerned ball of slime as she wiped at her whiskers self-consciously, her ears folding forward a bit.

"Sad that big sister is hurt!" Roulette insisted pressing her ears back into place, not entirely lying.

Roulette eyed the slime hopefully, hoping her words would persuade Dewey, but not feeling too sure of that outcome.

Dewey probably knew her best out of all the familiars, both of them being the weaker two members out of the group and as a result, they had developed a sort of silent understanding of each other.

An understanding the others seemed to lack.

Roulette did not get why though? She could understand Dewey perfectly well, but no one else could, not even daddy seemed to be able to fully understand Dewey.

With this insight between her and Dewey, Roulette did not feel her words would hold up.

And she was right.

Dewey stopped then leaned to the side, his eyestalk tilted doubtfully.

He was not convinced by Roulette's claim.

"................................"

Wobbling thoughtfully for a second the slime assumed a tactic it believed would allow it to pierce through Roulettes unwillingness to speak.

Leaning into it, the snot ball took up a fixed peering position, his single swaying eyestalk focused on his target Roulette.

"................................"

Expecting a response, Roulette looked up confused by Dewey's silence but quickly looked away again when she saw what he was doing.

"Dewey? what are you?- oh no! not this again!"

Pulling away and hiding her face behind her claws she attempted to weather Dewey's interrogation method.

Dewey stared at Roulette with his single round orb-like eye, applying pressure wordlessly.

A pressure Roulette couldn't handle for extended periods.

"Uuuuu... Dewey stop..." Roulette mumbled looking away from the staring Dewey but still feeling his single eye upon her, as she already began to crack under the slimes unwavering gaze.

Roulette tried to ignore the slimes sharp eye but the mobile mucus would not be denied.

"................................"

The ball of phlegm eyeballed her relentlessly, shifting in closer so that Roulette would have a harder time ignoring him.

"Uuuuuuuu..." Roulette groaned, even though she was now covering her eyes with her long ears, she could still feel Deweys unwavering blinker weighing down on her.

"...................................."

He might have been weaker and smaller than her, but Dewey was also tenacious to a fault, she didn't stand a chance.

Unable to hold out any longer Roulette crumbled under the slimes onslaught.

"UUUuuuuuu! ok! fine! Dewey, you got me!"

"!!!!!!!!!"

Having forced Roulette into relenting, the rounded slime hopped joyfully off the floor once before calling out its name in victory.

"Dewey!"

The slime pinged happily as Roulette let out a sigh next to him, sprawling out to poke again at the mostly still surface of the pond.

"!!!!!!!!!........!!!!!!!!"

After a few more moments of the slime pinging away, he settled down, coming to sit next Roulette again with a soft flomp.

Feeling defeated, Roulette languidly turned her head from her sprawled out position, lethargically murmuring to Dewey.

"Do you really want to know? It's- it's not that big a deal..."

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Dewey beeped while nodding his stalk rapidly, ignoring any vestiges of hopeful suggestion in Roulette's voice.

The slime not dissuaded, Roulette let out one last high pitched sigh.

"Ok... well..." Roulette began halfheartedly, "I'm not sad because of sister being hurt- well no I am! but that's not the only reason..." Roulette fumbled miserably.

The slime did not respond and only bobbed its stalk in acknowledgment, neither bothered nor judging, only wanting for Roulette to continue.

Seeing this Roulette felt slightly better, if only slightly, and resumed where she left off.

"This whole thing," Roulette waved around at their current circumstances, "happened because of me," the white rat said guiltily.

"It happened because I ran off when sister told me not too," Roulette grimaced, at the time the food had just smelt soo good and seemed worth it, but now...

It just wasn't.

Forcing herself to speak o,n Roulette choked out.

"I got big sister really badly hurt and almost got us all k- ki- killed!"

Roulette felt herself begin to hyperventilate as the stitches in her skin twinged at the thought of death, the memories from that tent-cave striking again.

Bleeding, breaking, hollowing out, pain, agony, helplessness, terror-

"..............?????!!!"

Roulette snapped back to the present when Dewey patted her on the shoulder reassuringly with his eyestalk, before coiling it around her in his utmost attempt at a hug, doing his very best to provide comfort.

She sat still for a few seconds, heaving and panting as Dewey kept patting her on the shoulder and hugging her, trying to get her breathing back under control as she hugged the blue slime back in return.

After almost half a minute of this, Roulette managed in a much calmer voice.

"Thanks, Dewey, I- I think I'm ok now."

Pulling apart from her as he uncoiled his eyestalk, Dewey asked quietly in a gentle burr.

"........???????"

"Is that all?" Roulette responded to Dewey's question with a slight but receding shudder, "no... I guess that's not all..."

Looking back at her feelings Roulette still did not feel completely better, something that had been bothering her for as long as Lescar had been her sister, still pooling at the bottom of her heart.

She admired her sister, and at the same time, sometimes felt angry when she looked at her.

She still did not understand why.

The white rat clenched her little fingers as thoughts ran through her head. After seeing how much better Lescar was than her, how much daddy favored her, and knowing how badly she had screwed up, she felt something icky...

Although she still did not know the word for it.

Taking a deep breath, Roulette described what she felt to the best of her ability to the waiting slime.

"I'm angry at myself for what I did, for what I failed to do, and when I see Lescar by comparison..."

Roulette frowned, her furry face wrinkling up.

"I feel Inaahdi- Inarrdu..." Roulette ground her front teeth together, having difficulty with that word same again before she forced it out

"Inadequate."

Roulette turned and glared down at her reflection in the now still water. in the past her appearance had rarely bothered her, she had even taken pride in her shiny and well-groomed coat, even daddy had praised her for her good hygiene.

But now, what she saw made her feel frustrated, she saw a small weak and foolish little animal, an animal that could not defend itself when it mattered, could not understand when it needed to, and could not compete with Lescar...

'It's not fair.' the pale rodent thought to herself looking at her reflection, 'if I was a two-legger like sister everything would be better...'

Dewey watched wordlessly as Roulette stared intensely at her reflection, before, after a pause he smacked her on the back of the head, stalk whipping out with a thwack.

"Ow!" Roulette complained rubbing the spot where Dewey's appendage had connected, "what was that for?

"!!!!!!!!!!!"

"For knocking me out my glumness?!" Roulette said frowning, "how is you slapping me around going to help?"

"!!!!?????....!!!!!!"

"Training?! you beating me up isn't Training!" Roulette answered Dewey, blocking a second stalk slapping with her tail.

"!!!!!!!!!"

Dewey went for in for another slap, eyestalk reeling back as Roulette blocked it again, the two creatures going into a playful mock battle, the slime dishing out fluid slaps from its only eyestalk.

"Dewey!" Roulette said exasperated yet light-heartedly, as she blocked yet another stalk flailing, "this isn't helping! it isn't-"

Roulette paused mid-speech as a sudden realization hit her, failing to block the slimes next attack as it bounced harmlessly off her head, not even noticing it as she ran the sudden idea around her mind.

'Perhaps... Dewey was right... perhaps training was the right answer' Roulette considered, thinking back to when daddy had changed from a really big-neighbor-bug, to a cool looking fluffy one.

Roulette knew that Daddy had fought hard and ate lots of good food before he finally transformed, and that made her think...

'Maybe I could change as well! If I tried really really hard! and ate well every day!'

The idea excited her and Roulette felt herself get up off the glade floor, Dewey stopping his tirade of playful stalk swings questioningly as she rose.

"..... ..... ..... ?"

Standing on her hind feet Roulette looked down at her reflection in the water, the image of her rodent self no longer upsetting her, but instead encouraging her as she imagined her own ideal future form in the water.

Tall and beautiful. Graceful and elegant. Powerful and driven...

Maybe just maybe, she could be all that.

The imagined image faded from her mind, leaving her current, more mundane appearance there.

But for now, she was just a rat with a sharp spikey tail.

It looked like she had some work laid out before her, and... someone to thank.

"..........???!" Dewey said pleadingly, not knowing what Roulette was thinking about and wanting to find out.

Roulette turned to her slimy friend and said with a wide grateful smile.

"Dewey you are a smart-blob-genius! and you were right! I need to lift my game and work hard to catch up with big sister!"

Dewey initially confused at Roulette's words, soon started posturing and flexing at the compliment as if saying non verbally, 'Aw shucks!'

The slime contorted oddly as if embarrassed but still began to hop as it felt pepped up.

Her heart resolved, Roulette Looked back down at her reflection as Dewey began to bounce up and down beside her.

Roulette was set.

She had a clear cut goal to evolve and bridge the distance between herself, her sister, and her father.

She was determined.

As her determination settled into place a voice she knew well rustled in her head, the owners head poking out of the cave pushing the viney covering aside.

"Return to my cave everyone, Lescar is ok, I have healed her but she is still weak, please be considerate of this when you come in, we have much to discuss."

The momentary relief and joy that big-sister-Lescar was ok, was marred by the undertone of displeasure in daddies voice.

The feathery insect had turned his words sharp at the end before glancing at her with a flick of his antennae and Roulette knew that this was aimed at her, daddy was still displeased with her past performance.

Roulette still felt a little bad, but her conversation with Dewey had helped clear most of it up.

Roulette took one last glance at her reflection before she slinked forward on all fours, Dewey slugging in behind her.

'I'll catch up to in no time sister, so watch out.'

The white rat entered the cave with more resolve than she'd had leaving it yesterday.

It felt good.