The Roach

Blue, green, yellow, magenta, the colors moved and swayed like liquid water, flowing here and there before merging into a completely new color and surging upward up out of view.

The amount of variation and vividness was astounding, as far as my perception could behest the colors swirled and shifted.

Some were tiny, barely larger than a droplet, scarecely quivering in place, others roared forward like violently brilliant tidal waves before receding and repeating themselves.

And some, often in darker hues, quivered tenuously, like a struggling animal before sinking down.

These blobs were not the only rush of color's that sank rather than rose, many others often erratically jerked about before sinking back into the darkness below.

I knew that this was a dream, a very lucid and familiar one, one that I'd had three times already in fact.

Still, I wasn't quite sure what significance this place truly held, but I did have my theories.

Yet, even while in the dream itself, such thoughts are idle conjecture, more important things being at hand.

Diverting my attention to the space immediately around me, I focused my intellect on what I wanted before me.

With a slow whirring, reminiscent of a dusty pc booting up, a display slowly flickered into existence for me, the display was a spreadsheet or perhaps menu of sorts that, showed all of my various stats and abilities.

{welcome user @$*$%^**## please pick an option}

Level 4 sewer cockroach (Blattella Cloaca Octaalica)

MIND- 0000 (N/A)

BODY- 0015 (accurate)

SOUL- 2247 (estimated)

Level points: 1

I hummed in a marred satisfaction, as the system attempted to address me, being directly addressed even by a disembodied robotic voice felt good, it had been far too long since I talked to anything.

It was strange that the system had no name for me, I would have thought it would call me roach 12467423542432 or something, but it didn't.

A curious phenomenon, however not the most concerning.

While my stat sheet was ambiguous and very simple, it wasn't the simplicity that upset me, it was the mystifying zeros next to my mind measurement.

It made no sense how I, a fully sapient and cognitive being had a mental score of zero, no sense at all.

The only thing I could propose to console myself on the pitiful score of zero, was that the system was measuring some sort of abstract value or physical component, or.... alternatively.... the system was broken in some way.

Neither prospect was very comforting, so I ignored the crossed-out zeros on my display and pressed on the level points slot with an ethereal claw.

Even with the system's obvious state of data confusion, it was still incredibly useful. it was through this systems menu that I selected what perks and abilities I developed in the level points menu.

The menu had a myriad of skills and traits visible but most were greyed out, I had been hopeful the first time I was here, I could pick up something stupidly powerful, but such ideal scenarios no longer seem plausible.

Most of what is on offer for my use, is in fact directly related to my very bug-like nature, for instance, larger mandibles, a more forceful bite, improved dexterity of individual claws, heightened feeler sensitivity, increased kinetic detection and so on.

The list went on for quite some length, but essentially most related directly to my physical form in some way, the only ones I could see that weren't, were also extremely vague in description and purpose.

{[email protected]!$$& -unable to describe- ERORR }

{fortify mind- the mind is prompted to grow }

{irragate soul (light) - soul bed is seeded with light}

All three options intrigued me, but... all were too vague for personal comfort, however, the possibility of powerful abilities practically wafted off these three, the first sounded dangerous the second rather passive and the third... I have no idea what it means by 'soul bed'.

The three save fortify mind, were not there last time.

I did not want to waste my precious perks on useless or redundant traits, and the three held some dubious descriptions.

Two of them, in particular, were far too vague to select, if I took one what would happen? this world as it is, clearly is abnormal, what if the perks held some terrible price?

I might forever regret my hasty decision.

So it was imperative that I choose well each and every time.

The last time I leveled, I spent all my points on increasing my gross motor control and the hydraulic muscle contraction of my hindlegs, after all being faster meant I could run away more reliably as I had already done so a few times.

Being uncertain and fearful I had forced myself to take immediate survival over all other venues, ignoring perks that didn't give an obvious benefit, fortify mind being part of that group.

But this time I wasn't feeling fearful, I had survived in this smelly and rather literal shit hole for over three weeks, slowly growing my strength.

Aside from the larger monsters of the sewers (like the giant mega rats), I was currently untouchable to all the beasts who had once preyed upon me.

Rats who once eyed me hungrily, now skirted away from me, the horrible denge frogs who once haunted my dreams every night, now gave me a wide berth and other roaches scurried away the moment they sensed me.

I felt strong enough now to risk taking one of the more ambiguous perks.

And it just so happened that this perk might hold the key to my mental freedom from the ravenous beast inside me, the bottomless hunger.

That was something I couldn't afford to pass up anymore, after every level up my hunger grew. slowly pushing my will aside, and now at level four who knows how strong the compulsion to feed would be.

Yes, even if this only had a small possibility of helping, I needed it, needed it for my continued sanity otherwise... I might end up like the others, mindless bottom feeders. the image of the plebian roaches filled with worms and grime came to mind making my spiritual presence shudder.

Thoughts finalized, I moved an ethereal foreleg to the fortify mind prompt and pushed down.

{perk selected installing/seeding now, please standby}

Like every other time I had slept after leveling, the dream grew dark, the flowing color losing its viscosity and disappearing one by one after shattering.

I slowly came to halt among the shattering blobs of color and the world around me grew darker as if it too were readying itself for rest.

My thoughts growing sluggish, I tiredly relinquished control, my mind returning to the pleasant and often strange world of unconsciousness.

As my mind began to retreat into the comfortable void I wondered idly.

'I hope that perk works out...'