《Diary Of A Lost Soldier In Another World》Chapter 33: Final Rites

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Chapter 33: Final Rites

I take a look at my surroundings and I see I’m sitting under a large tree. The grass beneath me is speckled with flowers and in front of me is a great lake. The canopy above me is filled with lush green leaves. It looks like I’m in the middle of a large clearing, the area around the open space is filled with trees. I can smell the fragrance of flowers and wet dew. The temperature is just right, not too cold nor too hot.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” I hear a voice ask to my right.

I turn to see the girl with long ears from my previous dream.

“Yes it is.” I say as I lock my gaze with hers.

“How funny that even death can appreciate life.” the girl replied.

“I assure you, I am very much alive.” I reply with a raised eyebrow.

“Yet you serve death. You who walk the ashen path, you who destroy, you who cannot create.” the girl said wistfully.

“Where am I?” I ask as I look around at the clearing again. The last time I dreamt this I wasn’t lucid but it seems I am now. Or am I really dreaming?

“The Emerald Dream. You sought me out no? The last time you approached me. You were looking for me.” the girl replied.

“Yes I did, as to why, well that’s more complicated.” I say with a sigh.

“For a shoulder so young to be laden with such burdens. It is a pity, isn’t it?” the girl asked.

“I’m used to it.” I reply gruffly as I lean back against the trunk of the tree.

“So you are.” the girl said. Her voice was strange, it sounded almost ethereal like a chiming bell in an echo chamber.

This conversation was strange, it was like we subconsciously knew what each other was thinking. Now that I think about it our conversation seemed to be skipping logical steps...

“Why am I here?” I ask.

“I assumed you would know. You were led here yes? If you were led, it means you followed, for you to follow there must be a reason…” the girl replied.

I just look blankly at the girl. So it seemed neither of us knew why we were here.

“So why are you here?” I ask, trying a different approach.

“When I entered the Emerald Dream this evening I found you here. I was curious so I came to speak with you. I have never seen a human in the Emerald Dream.” the girl said.

“What were you originally going to do when you entered this Emerald Dream?” I ask.

“I wanted to commune with the ancient spirits of Alvuan. I sought their wisdom to avert our destruction.” the girl replied, her eyes downcast.

“Has a Rift appeared?” I ask.

“It has, it appeared a few days ago. We have held the demons back thus far, but the daemon fire burns deeper into the forest with each passing day. Without the Heroes I fear our doom is inevitable.” the girl replied shakily.

“Well you’re in luck I’m the Dark Hero.” I say as the girl’s head whirls to face me, her eyes wide in shock.

“Truly?” the girl asked earnestly.

“Yeah. I thought you knew, you said I served death after all.” I ask as I look at her.

“Many serve the Dark God, all I sensed was your affinity for the dark. I had no reason to believe you are a Hero.” the girl replied.

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“Now that I know the rift is here, I suppose I may be able to head over along with the rest of the Heroes.” I say.

“You will not be able to Dark Hero.” the girl said softly.

“Why not?” I ask as I furrow my brows.

“The shores of Alvuan are guarded by a sea serpent. It is the only thing keeping the humans from subjugating the Alvs. If you attempt to cross the waters, the serpent will devour you.” the girl replied.

“Can’t you call it off. I mean I can’t help you if I can’t get to you.” I say.

“There is a way but an Alv will need to bring you across. That is provided the humans even allow you to come here.” the girl said.

“What are they going to do lock us up?” I ask.

“They can’t, I assume you are in the ancient city?” the girl asked.

“Erm what? I’m in the capital Regus.” I reply.

“It will take a week for you to make the journey to Alvuan by sea. By the time you return another Rift will have appeared. The humans will try to prevent you from coming, but there is a way for you to come regardless of their desires.” the girl said pressing on as if my answer was enough.

“How?” I ask.

“There is an ancient law handed down from a time so ancient even we Alvs do not know whence it came. It is one of the most sacred laws of this world. None may break it for defying that law would bring divine retribution. The law is that when an individual informs the Heroes of the location of a Rift and if the heroes wish to seek the Rift none may bar their way.” the girl said.

“What if they lie?” I ask.

“They may not do so by that same law. Defy this law and the God of Light will smite your soul. Few dare to contemplate the act, fewer dare to attempt it, none survive. The wrath of the God of Light will leave you as smouldering ash.” the girl said.

“So I need an Alv to somehow get into Regus and inform us. I can bet that the king has contingencies in place to prevent that from happening.” I reply with a scowl.

“I have an idea… but I must know this, does the king know that the new Rift is in Alvuan?” the girl asked.

“As far as I know, no. The Magus Council is hiding that information from him.” I reply.

“Hmm, then it is not certain. But to do nothing would be to court death. It seems I have little choice then.” the girl said softly.

“I hope you have a good plan.” I say.

“I do not, but desperation can drive one to immeasurable heights.” the girl said.

Then I noticed the world started to blur. My vision began to swim and shake as if reality itself was bending around me.

“It seems our time together is at an end, Dark Hero. I pray I will meet you in person…” the girl said as her voice seemed to trail off, getting softer and softer with each passing moment.

Then I feel myself back on my bed, when I open my eyes the first thing I see is a blurry sea of gold. As I blink the sleep from my eyes and my vision focuses, I see Charlotte quietly sleeping next to me. We have been sharing a bed ever since the night of the ball a few days ago. Our rooms have sort of merged into one large room so now we practically live together.

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I quite like this arrangement even if it can be a bit trying at times to keep our desires in check. These moments were especially hard before we got ready for bed as we both had to undress to get into our night clothes. I try not to look but there was one occasion where I caught a glimpse of Charlotte in her underwear, ever since then I had to try very very hard not to look.

This problem wasn’t just with me however, once when I was getting undressed, I had my shirt off and I caught Charlotte looking at me out of the corner of her eye. When she realised I caught her looking she immediately flushed pink and looked away.

The room actually made us an area where we could get changed but we both never used it. I think we just don’t use it as a sign of trust, I mean if one of us started to use it would be like the person didn’t trust the other not to peek or the person doesn’t want the other to see their body.

But privately, I have a suspicion we both just want to sneak peeks at the other. Charlotte is peeking much more than me that’s for sure. Afterall with my high [Perception] stat I could tell when someone’s looking at me. More than once I sensed her looking in my direction when I had my clothes off.

I never brought it up of course, Charlotte prides herself on being a noble lady. So I guess peeking at your changing boyfriend would seem a bit unbecoming. But although she’s a noble lady she’s still a girl. She’s never been in a relationship and with her being a virgin it’s not that surprising she would be a little curious. Also to be fair she wasn’t the only one with impulses. When we cuddle on the bed my hands sometimes wander a little lower than they should…

I always rise earlier than everyone else so I usually try to avoid bothering Charlotte. When I try to move to get up I notice she had her arm wrapped around me. This was a common problem sometimes I managed to get out without waking her up, other times I ended up disturbing her.

As I tried to move her arm I felt Charlotte shift as she tightened her grip around me and snuggled closer. When I tried again I heard her mumble something as she pulled herself even closer now effectively hugging me.

Seeing this I gave up and lay back down. I wrapped an arm around Charlotte and I felt her nuzzle her head into my chest. As much as this was a sweet romantic moment there was something that was bothering me in the back of my mind. Well something other than the fact a Rift was out there somewhere growing stronger with every passing day...

Later today we had two major things on the agenda, both of which were not happy occasions. The first was the official funeral for Lady Liana, apparently her body was preserved and the funeral took awhile to organise because the attendees came from all over the nation. Lady Liana was a highly respected Priestess with many ties to various noble houses.

Funnily enough I’ve never been to a funeral before, me and Shuji were snatched up before my father had died. He was killed while me and Shuji were in basic military training. The closest thing to a funeral I ever did was making some makeshift graves for those who were killed around me.

The second thing was a trial for the noble of Port Jura. It turns out the reason that Bovarian and his mercenary band got hit the worst during the assault on the Rift was because the Northwestern line didn’t attack. They just let the demons rush back to the Rift. Davis’s Lieutenant was killed by the noble and his knights when the Lieutenant tried to force them to launch the attack.

It took a few days of investigating to find out what happened and then a few more days to apprehend those responsible. So the noble and his knight captain were going to be put on trial for treason.

I wanted that noble dead and I wanted to be the one to shoot him. He not only murdered an allied soldier, he nearly got the heroes killed. If the Bronze Bulls were made of lesser men this world would be finished. The heroes would have been killed and the rest of the population can start looking for a long rope to have a painless death. No heroes means no rift sealed, no rift sealed means the demons will kill everything in this world. Better to die by your own hand than to be ripped to pieces by demons.

As for that knight captain, if he was just following orders I would be inclined to pardon him. Soldiers are trained to obey, it was a stupid move definately but from what I have gathered so far, the disobeying of orders is heavily punished in this world. If the knight captain disobeyed there was a good chance he would be executed and someone else would take his place. Which would mean nothing would have changed. The new commander of the soldiers would have ordered the army not to attack anyway, I mean he did just witness what happened to his predecessor…

“Mhhhh” I hear Charlotte mumble as she stirs.

I look down and see Charlotte remove the arm that was wrapped around me and started rubbing her eyes.

“Had a good night's sleep?” I ask

“Yeah…” Charlotte said sleepily as she rolled onto her back bringing her other hand to rub her eyes.

“How long have you been awake?” Charlotte asked as she opened one sleepy eye to look at me

“Oh not very long, I mean get watch a pretty girl like you sleep next to me. I could think of worse things to do.” I say with a sly grin.

“Sweet talker.” Charlotte said with a giggle as she sat up.

After we got dressed we helped ourselves to some breakfast. The attendants have started sending breakfast a little earlier because they finally realised that me and Charlotte woke up around dawn.

As we sat on the couch and quietly ate I felt Charlotte was more subdued than usual. It must be the two grim events we had scheduled today…

“You alright?” I ask softly as I look over at Charlotte.

“Yes…” Charlotte replied softly.

It was then that Jacob and Ivan’s door opened. I looked at the clock and saw it was 7.30am. That was odd, these two usually slept until past 8am. Ivan exited followed by Volva and they quietly plopped themselves onto the couch. Jacob silently went over to the breakfast table and poured himself a hot cup of coffee. The coffee here was kind of shit but it was better than nothing I suppose.

“You guys are up early.” I say as Jacob sat down.

“Didn’t sleep well.” Jacob muttered in reply.

“You too?” I ask as I look at Ivan, who just nodded silently.

“The funeral?” I ask as I look at the rest to another set of silent nods.

“The last funeral I went to was my brother’s…” Jacob said softly.

“I’m sorry.” Charlotte said quietly.

“Thanks, as you all might have noticed I’m not so good at this whole death thing...” Jacob replied.

“I don’t think anyone is…” Charlotte said.

“Katsuro seems to handle it pretty well… better than us anyway. He shot a little girl and had one panic attack. That’s pretty good all things considered.” Jacob replied.

“One hundred and thirteen.” I reply as I think back to the tally I have in my head on those that I lost back in Sapporo.

“What?” Ivan asked.

“That was the number of people I lost in my world. My father, my brother, my friends, my men. I still remember their faces now when I think back.” I replied calmly, I feel the familiar emptiness in my heart as I say those words.

“Sorry, I’m sure you must think we’re being babies about this whole thing...” Jacob said sullenly.

“I don’t, I wasn’t much better when I first started out. It got easier after the first twenty or so, by the time the tally reached a hundred I could barely feel it anymore.” I reply.

“I can’t do this shit, back in the village when I saw the mother and daughter who were cut to pieces…” Jacob said with a shudder as his eyes widened and his pupils dilated. He had this faraway look in his eyes and he spoke as if he was reliving the moment.

“It reminded me of how I found my brother right after he shot himself. The police broke down the door, he had blown his brains out all over the ceiling, my mother was screaming and I remember just standing there not believing what I was seeing.” Jacob said shakily as he ran his hand through his hair.

“That’s why I threw up, that’s why I couldn’t read Liana’s letter. It’s just… too much for me…” Jacob said as he put the now empty cup onto the table.

“The person is gone, just… gone… everything they did, everything you did with them, it’s just… over… like they never existed...” Jacob said softly as he lowered his head.

“No, that isn’t true.” Ivan replied.

“Those who pass to the next life live on within those who carry on. Once you meet someone you are changed forever. A piece of that person lives on in every life they touch. You would be different if you never had a brother.” Ivan said as he looked at Jacob who has now turned to face him.

“Do you feel your brother made you better?” Ivan asked.

“Yeah…” Jacob replied.

“Then he is with you, always. Every life you touch, every life we save, your brother lives on in them.” Ivan said.

“Thanks Ivan.” Jacob said with a small smile.

“Have you ever dealt with losing people before? You seem quite accustomed to it.” I ask as I furrow my brows.

“Katsuro!” Charlotte chided as she gave me a light slap.

“Right sorry.” I replied, but I was honestly quite curious.

Back in my world even someone who had lost a pet handled the cruelties of war a little better. I know this may seem insensitive but I need to know these things. I need to know the capabilities of my team, they aren’t expendable and easily replaceable. This world gets four heroes, only four, that’s it. I need to know what they can and can’t do lest they freeze up in the middle of a life or death situation.

“It’s fine.” Ivan said as he raised a hand.

“Back home we were miners, it was dangerous work. I’ve lost family, friends and neighbours. It’s a fact of life and the rest of us just go on the best we can.” Ivan said, his voice calm.

“Still you’re up earlier than usual.” I state as I try to see past Ivan’s rock hard exterior.

“Yes, one can easily learn how to think but you never learn how to feel.” Ivan said with a sigh.

“Well you’re right about that…” I reply as I lean back.

When the time came for us to head over, the group of us walked over to this noble estate. It wasn’t that far from the palace. Surprisingly the funeral wasn’t held in the temple. I expected the funeral rites to be done in the temple. I guess I’ll find out why soon enough…

The first person we saw was Lady Scilla dressed in black robes standing at the gate to the estate. Her usual mage attire was black as well. She must be quite wealthy to afford a black set of clothes for funerals.

When she spotted us she calmly walked over. Her face was a calm mask and her eyes betrayed nothing. A less observant person would think she was indifferent to this grim event but I know that mask she’s wearing. It's a mask one wears when the grief has ended and only hollow acceptance remains.

“Lady Scilla.” I greet as I approach.

“Heroes, thank you for attending. I am sure Liana would have been happy to see you here.” Lady Scilla said.

“We would never have thought of not attending. We all wish to pay our respects.” Charlotte replied gently.

“That is heartening to hear, come I shall walk you in.” Lady Scilla said as she turned and we began to follow her into the building.

“Dark Hero.” Lady Scilla said suddenly as we walked.

“Katsuro is fine.” I reply.

“Then Katsuro, Liana’s son is… not in a good state of mind. He’s young, just a child, less than ten summers old. The other priests have been telling him... troubling things…” Lady Scilla said.

“Like?” I ask as I feel a sinking feeling in my stomach.

“They have told him that his mother’s death is your fault. For it is by your plan than she is dead. We who fought know this not to be true but a child filled with grief is…” Lady Scilla said as her voice faltered.

“It’s ok, I can’t expect a kid to be able to understand what’s happened. If he wants to hate me… then let him…” I replied in as even a voice as I could manage.

“I will try to… smooth things over as much as possible. Also the Mage Councillors are in attendance as well.” Lady Scilla said.

“They are here as well?” I ask, a little surprised. I did not expect Priestess Liana to be held in such high esteem.

“Liana is… was… a friend to the Magus Council. Although a Priestess of the god of life she was also very like the Mages in thinking. Valuing knowledge and not allowing herself to be held back by the strict doctrine of the faith. Priestesses like Liana are few and far between…” Lady Scilla said with a sigh.

“Then all the more the pity then.” I reply softly.

“Yes I suppose it is…” Lady Scilla said as we finally exited out the other end of the building and arrived at a large garden.

I could see a group of people standing near what looks to be an area that has been decorated for the funeral. It looked to be a quiet affair, there were only about twenty people. I honestly expected more considering all the talk of people arriving from all over the nation.

As I approached I noticed most of the people were either in priest or mage robes. It seems they must have been her colleagues. There were some that looked to be her family but they were few and far between.

“There aren’t as many attendees as I thought.” I say.

“Lady Liana’s final letter told me to only invite those that she felt would want to say their goodbyes. This is for them and for us, not for her.” Lady Scilla said as her voice cracked a little towards the end.

“I see…” I reply.

It seems Liana was selfless even in death. A more prideful person would want a legion of mourners to carry their cold body around in some weird procession. Not Liana apparently, her funeral was to comfort the living not to glorify the dead.

As we approached I saw a group of mages turn to face us. I looked closely and saw these women were all well into their years. I recognised Anna the Mage Councillor among them, so they must be the councillors...

“Heroes, it is good to see you. I wish we were meeting again under happier circumstances.” Anna said as she approached.

“I suspect people of your station rarely meet for happy occasions.” I reply.

“I suppose that is true.” Anna said with a small sigh as she turned and looked back at the white coffin.

“We did our best to repair the body the best we could. We wanted to give her an open coffin funeral… so she could say goodbye to those close to her.” Anna said wistfully.

“I didn’t know you could even heal a corpse.” I reply as I furrow my brows.

“We did not heal it, we repaired it. Although the church of the Seven disapproves all the senior mages all familiar with Dark Magic to an extent. I myself am proficient in Blood Magic, I used it to repair the body best I could.” Anna said not bothering to keep her voice down and I noticed some of the priests give our group a look of disapproval.

“Do not mind them, most of them are young, still naive to the cruelties of this world. Many of them were mentored by Lady Liana, some of them feel we have defiled her body.” Anna said.

“Would Lady Liana have wanted that to be done?” Charlotte asked tentatively.

“Do not worry Lady Charlotte, I can assure Liana was of one mind with us. After all, the spell that allows one to preserve a body has its roots in Blood Magic and Necromancy. Good spells, evil spells, they are just labels. Labels placed by those who know little about the subject in question.” Anna said dismissively.

It was then that I heard the sound of small feet running across the grass. I turned to see a small boy running towards me, eyes filled with tears… he had Liana’s eyes…

He was holding a stick and as he ran up to me, he swung the stick at me. The strike landed on my knee, but my knee guard shattered the stick and I barely felt it.

“BERTHOLDT!” Lady Scilla snapped as she reached forward and ripped the now broken stick from the boy's grip.

“Mom’s dead because of him!” Bertholdt cried as he pointed at me.

“Berthy!” I heard a man say as he rushed over.

The man grabbed Bertholdt and the poor boy burst into tears as the man pulled him into an embrace.

“Why did he kill mom…” Bertholdt wept as he clung onto the man.

“Oh Berthy…” the man said as he gently rubbed the back of Bertholdt’s head.

“Berthy your mother… I knew your mother almost all my life, we grew up together.” Lady Scilla began.

I know what Lady Scilla is going to say. She’s going to tell this boy that his mother died for a good cause, that she knew the cost and did so anyway. She might even say that Liana brought great honour to her family. Many fancy words, but in the end the fact remains that the boy will have to accept that his mother chose to leave him behind. He will understand in time, when the grief fades, but in the meantime he might hate his mother for leaving him behind. Or he may not, but still the chance that a boy might hate his mother’s memory is something that should be avoided. The boy deserves better, Liana deserves better…

Well I already feel the guilt from Liana’s death, what’s a bit more?

“Your mother knew the risks…” I say cutting Lady Scilla off.

“But without my plan she would never have needed to make that choice. If there is anyone to blame for her death, it’s me.” I say evenly.

A tense silence followed my words and Bertholdt’s face seemingly crumpled into grief. He tore himself from the man and ran off, wailing as he went. The man seeing this turned and chased after him.

“You can’t keep doing this shit man… one of these days you are going to lose it...” Jacob said softly.

“It’s better for him to hate me than to run the risk of him hating Liana. It’s easier to hate a stranger than your own mother.” I reply softly.

“He would have understood in time…” Lady Scilla said with a weary sigh.

“He will understand this too in time, I already feel the guilt for Liana’s death. I can take a little more if it means that the boy can have peace with his mother’s memory.” I reply, my voice flat and numb.

“You are willing to bear more than most Dark Hero.” Anna said.

“I’ll tell Liana’s husband, he was the man from before. Maybe with this the grieving process will be a little easier for Berthy.” Lady Scilla said as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Although Dark Hero, did you say that to give the boy some pittance of comfort, or did you do it for yourself. Perhaps in the hopes of self punishment?” Anna asked as she peered at me, her eyes focused as if she was examining a specimen,

“Why can’t it be both?” I reply.

“Hmm, indeed it can. It appears the old texts are true, the Dark Heroes are truly interesting individuals.” Anna said.

“Any chance I could give those texts a look?” I asked as I raised an eyebrow.

“One day Dark Hero, when the time is right.” Anna said with a sly smile.

“Right.” I reply with a scowl.

Well you can’t blame a guy for trying, I can tell these mages guard their knowledge well. Even if they agreed I would be doubting everything I read anyway…

As the funeral began we all took our seats in front of the white coffin. I could sense Bertholdt shooting glares in my direction but I did my best to ignore it. People took the stand one by one saying a few words or even a speech. Telling tales of how Lady Liana had touched their lives. The more I listen the more I realise what has been taken from this world.

When someone dies often people just move one, few speak of them afterwards. Many people, myself included often forget that those who pass into the next life had lives just like anyone else. They had their loves, their hopes, their dreams and most of all their deeds both good and bad. It is truly a tragic thing when someone who did good deeds in their lives is no longer around. For with their passing the world got just a little darker.

Then I saw a priestess take the stand, I recognised her as the priestess that was chastised by Charlotte’s companion Hope. She looked to be barely holding it together, her eyes were red and puffy. It was obvious she had been crying for awhile.

“Lady Liana was my mentor when I first joined the priesthood of the seven. Lady Liana was good and kind, always with a helping hand. She was someone all the younger priestesses wanted to aspire to. She was powerful in her abilities of magic but stronger than even that was her compassion.

Recently when the heroes visited the temple, I was shown that my faith had strayed from the path. I learned that doctrine and scripture is not the path for a priestess of Life. We are preservers of Life, that has always been our purpose, our purpose is not to ensure that the Life God is venerated. It is to dedicate ourselves to a life of service to the people around us. To sacrifice as an individual for the greater good.

Lady Liana embodied those ideals, I never saw nor heard of her turning away someone in need. She saw past all the rituals, the scripture, the protocols and always remembered the Life God’s true message.

It’s almost funny when one thinks about it…” the priestess said as he voice cracked and she had to compose herself. I saw a tear trickle down her cheek as she bit her lip in effort to steady herself.

“Lady Liana and myself, we are both of the same order. The Sisters of Mercy, our words are Mercy, Compassion, Faith. When I wrote to Lady Liana of my crisis of faith, she wrote back saying there is a reason those words are written in that order. For the words mean, give mercy when one is able to do so, give compassion when you can give no aid and when all else fails have the faith to endure to the new dawn.

It’s amazing that so many of us in the priesthood never learn this… we are taught to obey the scripture, the doctrine, that these words and rituals somehow matter more than the people we are meant to serve.

For the truths of the divine cannot be learned from something as mundane as words on a page…

Lady Liana requested that I say her final prayer before she is laid to rest, she requested that I share something with those who attend... I feel she would want me to share what I have learned so recently. So here I am, knowing full well that I may be removed from the priesthood for my words. For the faith does not take kindly to those who speak against the doctrines and scriptures. But if I were to come here and speak the words that anyone can say I would not be able to face Lady Liana when I meet her again.

I let her down in the past, straying from the path, I will not fail again…” the priestess said as she held her head high as if daring the gods to smite her.

A moment of silence passed as those gathered watched. Seeing no divine retribution the priestess lowered her head and clasped her seven sided rosary with trembling hands.

Then she began to pray…

Goddess of Life

First singer of the song of life

I beg forgiveness for the sins of Liana Gavril

For our mortal flesh is weak

We are beset by sin, wickedness and temptation

I beg thee matron of all who draw breath

Witness of all unions of the heart

I beg thee wash her soul of sin and accept her into your embrace

I beg thee Goddess of Life

Sing and guide her to your halls

Guide her to where the weary never tire

The lover never leaves

The weak never suffer

And the hungry never starve

Guide her Goddess

And she will be a companion to you as she was to me…

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