Chapter 13: Why We Choose To Live

I’m back in that black world again, I look up as I expected I see that pair of red eyes looking down at me. So I guess this is it, I failed…

You didn’t fail my Champion

You are not dead yet

Merely unconscious

Your companions are doing their best to heal you

So I suppose we could have a chat…

“You must be disappointed, less than two weeks in and I already almost killed myself.” I reply with a sigh.

Why would I be disappointed?

I know everything about you

Your fears, your guilt, your regrets…

I dare say I know more about you than your own mother

I dare say even more than yourself…

Besides even if you die, there is nothing to be disappointed about

After all, death is its own prophecy

Predictable as always...

“So what is it you want exactly? You still haven’t told me what the hell it is I’m supposed to be doing?” I reply coldly.

You are doing exactly what I intended

You are a perfect fit Dark Champion

The perfect pawn...

You have already walked the halls of death

Through that immortal bastion

Many in this world already call you a villain

I wonder what they will call you when you succeed?

Ha ha ha….

“I am not your pawn…” I say through gritted teeth as I glare up at those red eyes. Idly in the back of mind I wonder. If all I choose to do of my own free will falls in line with this creature’s plan, then am I truly free?

Am I just a sculpture chosen from countless billions as the perfect pawn? Does this god need only put me in the right place, at the right time and I will do all that he desires?

Those who need say, I am free

Are not truly free

But remember this Dark Champion

There is always a choice

The truth is no exception…

I open my mouth to retort but once again I feel the floor vanish below my feet and I’m plunged back into darkness…

Then I feel pain, but pain is good, it means I’m alive…

I take in a gasp of air and relish the feeling even if my chest hurts with the act. I can feel my limbs, all of them, the pain kind of makes them hard to ignore. The torn piece of mangled muscle on my back screams in pain but it’s manageable just barely...

I open my eyes and I see a pair of shimmering sapphires. As my vision focuses I see Charlotte looking down at me, her eyes wet with tears.

“Katsuro…” she says as she leans in and I feel her cup my face with her hands and she begins to cry.

“I was so worried…” Charlotte chokes out, her eyes squeezed shut as she cries.

“I’m fine…” I reply weakly as I reach up to my face and take her trembling hands with my right hand.

I stay like this for a moment as I feel the warm touch of her hands. Then the moment passes I decide I’ve laid down long enough. There shouldn’t be any danger but… there’s still much to do… consequences to face…

I try to rise but I feel Charlotte push me back down.

“You’re still hurt.” Charlotte said her voice still cracked from the crying.

“I’ve had worse…” I say as I grab Charlotte’s hands and pull them off my chest.

“Worse? You almost DIED!” Charlotte shrieked.

“Not the first time…” I groan as I sit up to my body’s screams of protest.

I feel Charlotte put her arms behind my back to steady me. Which is much appreciated judging by the torrent of formal protests I am getting from my back muscles. Once I feel myself steadied I feel Charlotte pull me into a gentle hug.

“You idiot…” Charlotte said softly.

“Sorry…” I reply as I put my arms around her and I hold her tight. I smell the sweet scent of her hair and I feel her bury her face into my right shoulder.

“Don’t you ever do that again…” Charlotte says her voice muffled.

“I’ll try...” I say. At those words, I feel Charlotte flinch and she sits back up looking at me wide-eyed for a moment. Then I feel her slap me across the face.F

“YOU RECKLESS, SELFISH IDIOT!” Charlotte shouts tears forming again.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN TRY? YOU CAN’T… can’t just…” Charlotte whimpers as she devolves back into tears.

“I’m sorry.” I say as I reach out to cup her cheek. She roughly bats my hand away when I touch her.

“I don’t need your apologies! I need you to promise you won’t do that again!” Charlotte says through her tears.

I don’t know if I can promise that. It’s a promise I can’t keep, these were just a bunch of common monsters that the army culls regularly. We still have to fight a bloody demon invasion in two weeks…

“Charlotte he can’t promise that…” I hear Ivan say.

“HE NEARLY DIED!” Charlotte shouted in response.

“So did all of us, if Katsuro hadn’t done what did, we all might be dead. Or for you and the girls, worse...” Ivan said grimly.

“Ivan’s right Charlotte, me and Ivan couldn’t beat all of them ourselves. Those big ones were tough as hell.” Jacob said shakily.

This made Charlotte go quiet as she bit her lip and looked away.

“I’ll try, I’ll do my best to come back. No matter what. I promise.” I say as I reach out and gently take her hand. She looked up at me and I could see her eyes so filled with worry. I felt my heart wrench at the sight but I know this is the best I can do.

“I promise…” I say again and she looks down for a moment. Then I feel her hand squeezes mine as she nods mutely.

“It’s my fault… I shouldn’t have asked you to spare that goblin…” Charlotte said in a broken voice.

“No, it was my choice, my responsibility… I failed, it won’t happen again.” My voice going cold towards the end.

“No, you wouldn’t have let him go if it wasn’t me that asked…” Charlotte said quietly.

I knew she was right after that incident with the baby, the weight of my choices suddenly became very real. I would be lying if it didn’t feel the most real when Charlotte was around. When I’m alone, however, it is easier…

It was easier to pretend like I’m back in Sapporo, making all the ruthless and efficient decisions. Doing the smart thing is rarely the right thing. That’s why I could make that plan up in the tree, that’s why I didn’t hesitate to shoot that girl when I went in alone to that fucking camp. It was the right call for all of them, even with all my preparations, all my sacrifices we barely made it…

Charlotte asked me to let that Goblin go and I did. Stupid decision that it was, nearly got us all killed… It’s not her fault, she’s good and kind. Born in a world that is good and kind…

Nothing like the war-torn world I found myself born into. My world is built on spilled blood, selfish desires, one steals from another, kindness is hard to come by over there. A heritage of murder, that is my world’s legacy…

Charlotte’s naive. I know that, I’m not a complete idiot… She doesn’t know any better but I should. I’m the leader, their lives are my responsibility, the plan’s success my responsibility. I need to do better…

“Yes, I only did it because you asked me to… but I shouldn’t have. I should know better, it won’t happen again.” I say.

“I won’t ask you to do stupid things like that anymore, I’m just a naive stupid girl…” Charlotte said in a broken voice.

“No…” I say as I reach out cup her cheek and I turn her face towards me.

“I may be what this world deserves, but you are what this world needs. As things are I’m not sure if this world is even worth saving… You are so ill-equipped to live in a world like this yet the Life God chose you. There must be reason…” I say softly.

Thinking back to what the Dark God said, he knew everything about me. One does not make bad decisions with perfect information… even a man can make a good decision with all information available. Let alone a god...

“People need hope, they need ideals, when you strip that all away there’s nothing left to live for. You become this creature barely human, fighting for the sake of fighting, living for the sake of living, no rhyme or reason, you just march on and on.

You end up lost like a sparrow in the rain, no idea where you’re going, where you’re from, or why... You just walk in a sunless sea, marching to the end, and as you see those fallen around you wish you were them.

Then you die and no one cares, no one even notices. Your life meant nothing because everyone around you is the same. No one has the strength to care anymore, it’s easier to just… let go…” I say as I squeeze Charlotte’s hand. Her eyes widen as she listens to me.

She reaches up and cups my cheek. Her eyes shimmering as she always does when I tell her a little more about what I lived through, either through words or my actions. Charlotte von Holstein... so amazingly perceptive…

“I need you to tell me what’s right because it’s easy to do the most efficient thing. But it’s so much harder to do the right thing…” I say as I hold the hand that’s on my cheek.

“Alright... But promise me you will do what’s right for you too. You deserve happiness too.” Charlotte replied gently.

“I promise...” I say as take her hand and plant a kiss on her hand.

Ok…

As I get back to my feet I feel my legs are still weak. Whatever Charlotte and Amethine did it didn’t recover everything. However, judging by Charlotte’s and Amethine’s soaked bodies I would guess that they had to do quite a bit.

“How many times did you two heal me?” I asked Charlotte.

“About eight times each,” Charlotte said with a sigh.

“Tough bastard aren’t you? You were puking so much blood I was afraid you were a goner.” Jacob said as he handed me my helmet.

I look down into my helmet and I saw the facemask’s interior was covered in blood. I look down at my shirt and see it’s covered in blood too. I look over to Charlotte and saw her chest was covered in it as well from our embrace.

As I take stock of everyone, we were all bloodied and bruised but alive. Everyone had blood stains somewhere on their body. Hell of a fight…

“How’s your back?” I ask as I look at Charlotte who is still steadying me.

“I’m fine Katsuro, Amethine had me back on my feet after two heals. You were much worse, I thought I was going to lose you…” Charlotte said softly.

“Try not to do that again… for me…” Charlotte added with a tremor in her voice.

“Promise,” I say as I finally stand on my own two feet.

“Dark Hero are you well?” I hear the voice of the young man from before, I look to see only him and two other peasants were alive.

“Good to see you’re still alive. I never got your name…” I ask.

“Jorran, my friends call me Jory,” he replies.

“Thanks for protecting her Jorran, it means a lot…” I reply as I look at Charlotte.

“Do not concern yourself with it, Dark Hero. I am but a lowly peasant, my level cap is 10, for one such as me to be traded for the Life Hero is a worthy end.” Jorran says.

“It seems you have found your courage,” I reply with a nod.

“Yes, thanks to you. Hopefully… I can become someone worthy of my beloved. Like you…” Jorran said as he gestures to me and Charlotte. Charlotte’s face goes pink at the comment as she turns around hiding her face.

“Right… let’s go. We kept those girls waiting long enough…” I say with a sigh as I turn to the camp. The field in front of us is littered with corpses, my minefield reaped a terrible toll on the Uruks. I think it killed about a quarter of them, no wonder it leveled up in the middle of the fight.

As we approach the camp I feel a knot of anxiety in my gut. Soon everyone would see what I have done…

A necessary act… but still... that’s little comfort to those that are left behind…

As we approach the entrance that is littered with corpses I start to hear wailing. It’s the voice of the mother…

“What the hell? Are any of the Uruks still alive in there?” I hear Jacob say as he draws his sword on hearing the cries.

I don’t reply as I just keep walking. As we enter the camp I see the mother next to the throne cradling the corpse of her daughter. Her head bent down next to the mangled mass that used to be her daughter’s head.

“What the fuck…” I hear Jacob say in horror as he freezes along with the rest. But I don’t stop, I just keep going. If I can do the deed then I can face the consequences…

“JORRAN.” I hear a voice cry and I see the other woman who was the luckier of Greater Ork’s prizes.

I see Jorran rush forward and embrace her.

“Amiya… are you…” Jorran asked tentatively.

“No… I was supposed to be… that one’s prize…” Amiya said as she turned to look at the corpse of the Greater Ork.

It was then that the mother looked up and saw us. I saw her face twist in anguish and rage. She reached down and pulled a dagger from the floor. She screamed as she raised the dagger and ran at me.

She wants me dead…

Of course she does…

I think to myself as I find myself without the mental strength to even defend myself. Then I see Jacob rush forward and grab the woman’s arm that was holding the dagger.

I’m pathetic...

I just promised Charlotte that I would try to stay alive…

And I can’t even make myself raise a hand against her…

“Hey lady, cool it!” I hear Jacob say as he struggles against Jacob. Naturally Jacob is much stronger; he can probably crush her arm if he wanted to.

HE KILLED MY GIRL

MY LILY

The woman screamed as she pointed at me, her sobs echoing out across the square.

“What?” I hear Jacob ask as he turns to look at me.

“Would all of you have been able to carve through all of these women if the Uruks used them as shields?” I reply softly.

“I traded that girl’s life for everyone else here… I traded that girl for the head of their leader… I needed to show the Uruks that hostages wouldn’t work against us. But I knew hostages would work against us, if they really tried. It was a bluff...” I say as calmly as I can manage.

I see Jacob’s widen as his hand slackens and the woman tears her hand free. She screams as she charges me again this time Jorran grabs her arm.

“Lohse stop! Haven’t enough people died today?” Jorran shouted.

THEN WHAT’S ONE MORE?

YOU DON’T GET TO TALK!

AMIYA IS ALIVE!

THEY DIDN’T EVEN TOUCH HER WHILE THEY DEFILED US!

At those words I see Amiya flinch. She looked as if she had been slapped and her body began to shake...

YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO GO BACK TO!

I HAVE NOTHING!

HE TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME!

I feel Charlotte shakily take my hand and give it a gentle squeeze. I turn to see her eyes shimmering as she looked at me. She knew this would haunt me for a long time… I don’t know if I prefer her to hate me or forgive me…

If she hated for me what I’ve done it would be easier… at least that way I would get some punishment…

I see the Lohse eyes widen at the sight of Charlotte holding my hand and her eyes widened even further. I see something inside of her snap and her gaze seemingly shatters into a million glass shards.

She screams as she throws Jorran off her. Then she raises her dagger again and charges but not at me but at Charlotte. For this I can move, I draw my bayonet and easily knock the dagger out of her hand. Even then she throws herself at Charlotte, fingers arched as if she wanted to claw at her face. I grab her and throw her back. She tumbles back into the dirt, the rocks cutting her bare body even more. She sobs as she props herself up by her arms and she looks up at me, totally broken.

Why…

Why does something like you still keep what you cherish?

You don’t deserve it…

Lily didn’t do anything wrong

She didn’t deserve this...

Lily was good, she was kind

AND YOU KILLED HER

IT ISN’T FAIR

IT ISN’T FAIR

IT ISN’T FAIR

IT ISN’T FAIR

IT ISN’T FAIR

IT ISN’T FAIR

IT ISN’T FAIR

It isn’t fair…

Lohse screams in hysteria before her voice gives out and crumples into the dirt sobbing. The rest of us could only look in mute horror at the weeping broken shell of a person.

Then she looks at the dagger and she crawls towards it on her knees. Choking on her sobs as she did so, she picked up the dagger and knelt in the dirt looking down at the crude dagger that was held by Golbin not so long ago.

Lily I’m coming sweetie…

Lohse chokes out, I realise what she is about to do, but I don’t have the strength to stop her. After all, what right did I have to stop her?

Lohse picks up the dagger and plunges it into her throat and she chokes for a moment as blood streams down her throat. I hear Charlotte gasp from behind me. Jacob looks on wide eyed as Lohse let’s out a gurgle as she tilts to the side and falls into the dirt.

Snapping out of it Jacob runs forward and falls to his knees in front of her.

“Charlotte heal her!” Jacob shouts as he turns his head in panic.

I turn to look at Charlotte, her eyes are wide in terror and horror as she looks at Lohse. Charlotte is frozen in place as Lohse chokes on her own blood, she looks as if she couldn’t really process what is happening.

Then I hear one last choke from Lohse as her body twitches and stills…

“Oh my god…” Jacob stammers as he looks back at Lohse’s now lifeless body.

“Why… why did you have to kill the girl…” Jacob says under his breath his voice shaking.

“You know why…” I hear Ivan say from behind me.

“It’s my choice, my responsibility…” I say softly.

My burden to bear…

“You think that’s good enough? How the hell are you going to make up for this?” Jacob says through gritted teeth as he rises to his feet, his fists clenched.

He storms over and grabs me the scruff of the neck. He raises his fist and I close my eyes.

“Jacob… enough…” I hear Charlotte croak out.

“Just because he’s your little boyfriend doesn’t give him a free pass to do whatever he wants.” I hear Jacob say and my eyes open. I see Charlotte shrink back as if struck.

“Leave her out of this, if you want to hit me. Just hit me.” I say calmly in resignation.

“You two are just perfect aren't you? Even with what just happened you still stick up for each other.” Jacob says through gritted teeth.

Then I see Ivan pull Jacob off me and roughly shove him back.

“Enough, it’s over…” Ivan says curtly, his jaw set and a tortured look in his eyes.

“Ivan what are you…” Jacob demands hotly.

ENOUGH

IT’S OVER

I hear Ivan roar, his voice carrying over everyone in the square.

“The dead can’t suffer anymore, we need to tend to the living.” Ivan says through gritted teeth. I look around and see all the peasants looking at us wide eyed.

“You’re right we need to get these people back home first…” I say with a sigh. Jacob stills for a moment, teeth grit, fists clench. Then the tension is gone and his body relaxes and he nods. Ivan nods back as he walks over to Lohse’s body and goes to pick her up.

“Wait…” I hear Jacob say as he sheds his cape and covers her body. Ivan nods again as he picks up her body now covered with Jacob’s white cape.

I walk over to the girl’s body, I look down at her face. The top left quarter of her head is just gone, blown apart by my bullet. Her one remaining eye is still wide open in terror and her mouth is open as if to scream.

“Katsuro you don’t.... we could…” I hear Charlotte stammer form behind me.

“Charlotte please, my responsibility…” I reply quietly.

“Alright… then wait for a moment…” Charlotte said as she shed her cloak and gently laid it over the poor girl.

I pick up the corpse and I turn to see Charlotte standing there, her skin laid bare but her face clearly shows she didn’t care. I guess petty things like modesty seem so small in the face of something like this...

As I look down at the small body covered in Charlotte’s white cloak I hear the voice of Styx in my head.

Death is its own prophecy

Predictable as always…

I don’t answer, I just start to walk. The return trip was quiet and sombre. Nothing happened, no sound was heard except for our footsteps upon the grass. I walked in silence feeling the weight of the child I murdered in my arms.

As we reached the village I saw people start to appear, many of them rushed towards us at the sight of those we had saved. The sight of these tearful reunions and I feel the weight of the girl lighten just a bit.

“At least they get a chance…” I hear Charlotte say from beside me.

“Yeah…” I reply softly.

“Small blessings in the face of this tragedy… we take these right?” Charlotte said as she turned her head to face me. I look at the wistful look in her eyes and I nod numbly.

“Yeah we take these…” I reply as I turn back to see one of the women I rescued embrace the baby we saved.

We take these…

By the time we got back to the Spire it was already dark out and as we entered I started to feel my head spin. The guilt and the thoughts of what I had done has been creeping up on me ever since we were on the road back. Back in Sapporo I never had to deal with consequences in this way. I just sent my men to die and then a week later replacements showed up. I never had to face the family of the people I sent to their deaths…

The screams of that mother still rang in mind as I sat on my horse. However, once I entered the room all of it came out like a burst dam. I staggered against the wall and sank to my knees clutching at my helmet as if I was hiding from an artillery strike.

I couldn’t breathe and my head spun. My heart was beating like a hammer in my chest and I could hear my blood pounding in my head. I feel bile rise up out of my throat and I vomit all over the floor.

“Katsuro!” I hear Charlotte shout as I feel her arms wrap around shoulders.

“Shit are you ok?” I hear Jacob say in alarm.

I take in a gasp of air as my puking ends and I shudder as the anxiety and guilt starts to overwhelm my mind. I reach for the bayonet on my hip instinctively as if I’m about to be attacked but I feel Charlotte grab my arm stopping me. Then I feel another wave of nausea and I vomit again splattering the floorboards below.

“Hey it’s ok…” Charlotte soothed as she stroked my head. I turn to see her shimmering eyes looking down at me. She gives me a weak smile as she pulls my head into her chest. I let her do so and I felt her wrap her arms around my head as she gently removed my helmet.

I feel my helmet fall off my head and Charlotte runs her hand through my hair.

“Shh it’s ok… it’s ok…” I hear her soothe and embraced by her warmth I start to feel the panic start to fade. I feel my breathing slowly begin to return to normal and my head starts to clear.

“There, shhh…. It’s ok…” I hear her soothe.

Slowly but surely the panic, the guilt and the fear fades and I raise my head. I feel Charlotte’s hand shift to my face. As she gently wiped my wet cheek, I didn’t even realise I was crying.

I look around and see everyone either kneeling or squatting just looking at me in concern. Even Jacob’s face is coloured with worry. It wasn’t just the heroes either, the girls were also looking at me with worried expressions on their face. Idly I thought this is perhaps the first time I’ve seen worry on Momo, Volva and Alfie’s faces.

“I’m fine…” I say embarrassed at the shameful display.

“The hell you are!” I hear Jacob say as he stands.

“Come on Ivan give me a hand.” I hear him say as the two of them help me to my feet.

I realise that my legs were actually like jelly and I could barely stand. They plop me on the couch as I see Ivan ring the enchanted bell hanging from the wall next to the wall.

Charlotte sits down next to me with a handkerchief as she wipes the traces of vomit from my mouth. When she’s done she moves next to me and interlaces her fingers with mine. She leans her shoulder against mine as we just look at each other for a moment as I lose myself in those sapphire eyes.

Then I hear the door open.

“Do you require anything Earth Hero Sama?” I hear the attendant ask.

“Yes please clean that up and get us some drinks. The strongest you have.” I hear Ivan say to the attendant.

To her credit she was fast, the vomit was cleaned up and the drinks were on the table in front of us within fifteen minutes. Jacob pours a glass for everyone and we all sit on the sofa in silence.

“Sorry, won’t happen again…” I say quietly, still ashamed at that display.

“You have PTSD.” I hear Jacob say in reply.

“Yes I think so as well…” I hear Charlotte say from the side.

“What?” I ask, stunned.

“Listen Katsuro, back in my world my older brother was a soldier. He fought in this mess in India. The Tamils in the south and Hindus in the north weren’t getting along so a war broke out. My brother said it was horrible, massacres everywhere, they were just killing each other... He told me he saw unspeakable things…” Jacob said as he took a drink from his glass.

“My brother didn’t come back the same after that whole mess. It was like he left a piece of himself back there. He would do pretty much the same thing as you once in a while. He would clutch his head and kneel down as if to hide from something whenever he heard a loud bang. We had to soundproof his room so that he doesn’t get an episode during the Fourth of July or New Years fireworks. He puked sometimes too, always had trouble breathing, sometimes muttering things to people who weren’t there…” Jacob said with a sigh.

“I never did find out why he always held his head like that until I saw what you did just now… is that how you hide from bombs?” I heard Jacob ask.

“Yeah… when an artillery or air strike lands around us all we can do is huddle up and hope we don’t get hit…” I reply.

“Yeah I thought so…” Jacob said as he took another drink from his glass.

“Listen Katsuro… I'm sorry about what I said earlier… I didn’t mean it. I was just angry, angry that she just gave up like that… just like my brother…” I hear Jacob say as he finishes his glass and pours himself another.

“I’m sorry...” I reply softly.

“Thanks… but more than anything I was angry at myself. My Pa told me that I had to be strong to protect the things I care about. So that’s what I wanted to do here, I was never good in school, never as brave as my big brother. I’m nice on the eyes so I got quite a few girls in my time, so I guess I got that going for me…” Jacob said with a self deprecating laugh.

“Well you're definitely better looking than me…” I reply dryly as I take a drink of the strong wine.

“Charlotte would beg to differ.” Jacob said with a small smirk as I felt Charlotte flinch slightly followed by a laugh from Jacob.

“Anyway. I was angry that we had to resort to what we had to do. You laid in that minefield for an hour all the while those women had… things done to them. You have to shoot that girl because we wouldn’t be able to face them if they used hostages. Our weakness put you in that position…” Jacob said with a sigh.

“Your acceptance of what had to be done wouldn’t change anything. The tactical choices were sound, if I hadn’t let that shit go everything would have worked out fine. Our mages would have cut them to pieces as they ran through the minefield. We could have killed the Orks from a distance the rest of them wouldn’t be smart enough to attempt a flanking maneuver. They would have either run the gauntlet and be cut to pieces or turn tail and run.” I say with a sigh as I take another drink from my glass.

“I was stupid, I let my emotions control tactical decsion making. I’m lucky I didn’t get all of you killed.” I say with another sigh.

“If we could have accepted the hard truth you would have discussed it with us and we would have killed that goblin…” Charlotte said quietly.

“Maybe, but I wasn’t talking about that.” Jacob said as he looked at me.

“I was talking about how what had to happen should have been a group decision. We would have decided that plan together. Then it wouldn’t all be on your head. We threw everything at you, most of the fighting, the decision making, the planning, the scouting, being the bait, shouldering the blame…” Jacob said with another sigh as he finished his second glass.

“And I had the gall to blame you for it… fucking disgraceful…” Jacob mutters as he pours himself his third glass.

“Don’t worry about it, it takes awhile for all of you to get used to this kind of thing.” I say as I finish my own glass.

“You guys are handling it better than most, I can see why the other Heroes managed to beat the Rifts.” I say as I sit back against the couch.

“We’re lucky to have someone like you… I don’t know what we would have done if you weren’t here.” Charlotte said with a squeeze of my hand.

“Probably would be doing a lot worse.” Ivan said dryly as he downed his glass and got a refill.

“I hear that.” Jacob said as he took another sip of his drink.

“From now on we’ll discuss things before we do anything like that. It’s not fair for you to handle all that yourself. You aren’t the only Hero in this room. We’re a team, we do things together from now on.” Jacob said.

“Agreed, we cannot rely on you like this Katsuro. We have our own duties, we have shirked them long enough.” Ivan said.

“That goes for all of you too.” Charlotte said as she looked at the other four girls who were stiffly sitting on the couch to the right their drinks untouched.

“But Charlotte sama…” Amethine began.

“No buts Amethine, we are in this together. Your input, if you have any, needs to be shared with the rest of us. You four are from this world, we aren’t, you might spot something we didn’t. I mean anything, what the nobles do, what etiquettes we missed. Everything.” Charlotte said sternly.

“Yes Charlotte sama.” the four of them said together.

“Hey even Charlotte’s gotten through half her glass. Drink up ladies.” Jacob said with a laugh.

The four then all took a drink from the glass and all of them choked from the alcohol.

“Well, I guess you four would like something lighter…” Jacob said with a laugh.

“I’m surprised you can drink this Charlotte. It’s quite strong for wine.” Ivan said as he examined the glass in his hand.

“There are occasions where I need to drink a little. Events or parties with the other noble houses. The German people love their alcohol after all.” Charlotte replied with a shrug.

“Still though this wine just doesn't taste the same as a good Bourbon.” Jacob said with a grimace as he took another swig.

“Yes or a good vodka. This drink has no power.” Ivan agreed, his voice a little louder than usual.

“Ivan how much have you had?” Charlotte asked, a little concerned.

“Six.” Ivan replied confidently.

“Daaamn, you Russians don’t hold back do you.” Jacob said with a laugh as he finished another glass.

“My people have a saying. Let it be, whatever shall be, will be.” Ivan said.

“Wise words… no sense worrying about what might happen.” Charlotte said as she took another drink from her glass a smile on her lips.

“Hear hear!” Jacob said as he raised his glass.

“A toast then, my father once told me. Life is the sweetness of foods and the warmth of good company!” Ivan said as he raised his glass his voice slightly slurring.

“Hear hear, it’s hard to believe we only met a week ago.” Charlotte said as she raised her glass.

“To good company then.” Jacob said.

As I looked over at the room, somehow I began to feel maybe things would be alright. My crimes still weigh heavily on me but at least maybe I won’t have to carry all of it alone…

“What about you four?” I hear Charlotte ask as she asks the four girls.

“Erm… to a better tomorrow?” I hear Amethine say hesitantly as she raises her glass.

“To happier days…” Momo said softly.

“To happier days…” Volva said after.

“To happier days…” Alfie followed after.

I watch as everyone looks at me, the only one with his glass still lowered. I smile as I raise my glass...

To happier days...