CHAPTER 564

EDIFICE OF DESTRUCTION (II)

Lino stood in front of a silent room, seated, a bemused smile on his face. He began rapping his fingers against the armrest of the chair as to break the monotony, still observing the faces in front of him – eight in total. Among them, only Hannah seemed entirely indifferent, seated at the corner, one leg crossed over another, yawning. The surrounding walls were void of decorations, as was the stone floor beneath; the room that seemed no simpler than that of a commoner was, effectively, where Lino made all his decisions alongside those present.

It was located deep inside the forest, beneath the seeming ground floor, locked away into the darkness nobody was aware of. Growing faintly bored, Hannah and he each took out gourds of ale at virtually the same time, sharing a knowing smile in the process.

“… in my heart of hearts,” he said after taking a sip, breaking the silence. “I recommend you walk away.”

“Because we’re not strong enough?” Lucky asked with a faint frown.

"… bravado is pointless here, L'," Lino shrugged, cracking a faint smile at her. "It has nothing to do with strength. It's a commitment that cannot be understated, and one that will change your lives forever. To me, I will have a long gap still to enjoy life; you, however, will not. Forget family and friends, you might spend thousands of years never even seeing the light of day. The only reason I even brought it up is that I believed all of you will choose to walk away."

“… Hannah won’t.” Ion said. “And neither will I.”

“Hannah won’t because she’s a moron,” Lino sighed. “And because, if I said no to her, she would chop my head off in my sleep and take my place anyway. What for, Ion? You’ve already proved all you had to prove – righted all you felt was wrong. You are too old to still have a chip on your shoulder. Go find a girl and start a family of your own; live the life, not the nightmare.”

“… warring is my life, Lino,” Ion chuckled lightly. “I’ve spent all my life so far defending our home. What’s so wrong about just extending that duty?”

"—man, you're one stubborn oak," Lino sighed. "I won't say anything anymore. Everyone, go back and think about it, talk about it. For once, I hope you all have enough sense to say no." soon after, everyone except Hannah left, leaving the two to drink in silence for a moment before Lino broke it. "You won't change your mind?"

“No.” Hannah replied quickly.

“… I understand where you’re coming from, Hannah,” Lino sighed. “But, I really, really would wish if you’d change your mind.”

“Oh, would you look at that; wishing something doesn’t magically make it happen. Who would have thought?”

“… what’s pushing you?” he asked. “Pushing you so hard you’d abandon all reason and throw yourself back into the exact thing we’ve been escaping for decades?”

"… I've been escaping it with the idea of you spending that peace with me, Lino," Hannah said. "With the idea that, when it was all over, we'd settle down and sit by the fire. I don't care whether I live in peace or in war, so long as it's with you. And, in my heart of hearts, I know you're the same; you'd rather have me in hell than be without me in heaven. As you've said," she added with a smile. "Bravado is pointless here."

"… we'll have millions of years of that peace," Lino said. "So much of it you'll tire of me. So much of it, you'll wish the day would come sooner."

“… do you really believe that?” Hannah said, meeting his gaze squarely. “If the roles were reversed, would you be like that?”

“…”

“I won’t claim I’ll never get bored of you,” she said. “And that I’ll never wish to just have a few days without you. But, the only reason for it… is the knowledge that you will be there when I return. Waiting. Millions of years are long – so long, right now, neither one of us can quite grasp that length of time. But, they are still finite. They will end. And, one day, you would have to leave – probably for good. Millions of years with you for eternity without you? Sounds like the worst possible deal ever conceived."

“—you are remarkably insane,” Lino chuckled bitterly after a short silence, shaking his head. “Far more insane than anyone I’ve ever met in my life. Even that ugly reflection in the mirror.”

“… besides,” Hannah added, getting up slowly and walking over. “Those dreams you’ve rekindled… never died, Lino. I don’t want to be a pretty face sitting on the throne; I don’t want to be a Queen, or the Empress, or one’s mother eventually. I don’t want to be the wife of the Empire’s founding Emperor. I don’t want to be a name perennially attached to yours. An empty fantasy keeping men up at night. Had I not met you again, that life might have been a perfect choice for me,” she added, sitting down on his lap and leaning gently against his chest as his arm reached around her and hugged her over the side. “But… spending all these years with you… chasing our tails and heads all over the world, fighting, surviving, nearly dying, winning, losing, grasping at straws… those years were infinity more fun than the days I’ve spent locked inside the ivory tower, lamenting my ‘cursed’ fate.”

“…”

“It might be selfish, but… I want to be my own person,” she said. “Independent of you, of Aaria, of the Empire itself. Just… Hannah. That crazed chick that blew up a star once and started laughing.”

“… I can honestly see you doing exactly that.” Lino laughed briefly, stroking her hair gently. “I want you to be all those things, too. There’s always that battle going on inside my mind, Hannah; you, safe at home, with Aaria, away from me – or you, right by my side, participating in that infernal suffering. I want you by my side – right there, in those flames, standing opposite of the world with me. But, my selfishness needs you to be safe – somewhere far away from all the pain. All my life, those contradictions haunted me. I know you can shine brighter than anyone else, fly higher up than I ever could, become someone whose name will outstrip mine with ease. And I want you to become all those things… yet, at the same time, I don’t.”

“… I thought you’d have shed all your layers of complexity by now, old man,” Hannah chuckled. “But, I suppose you’re still just that well-layered, delicate boy that you always were. The same boy who always, for some reason, had this unreasonable faith in me.”

“… I’d hardly call it unreasonable,” he said. “You work just as hard as I do, but the difference is that I’m dumb. I see a wall, I’ll bang my head against it until it breaks down; you, on the other hand, will look around, find some trees, build a ladder, and climb over it. You’re just like El’ – an enigma that I never understood. While I had to effectively make a deal with the devil to cross the boundary, you did it with ease. Just like that. As though it was natural. As though there’s a higher realm you’ve always belonged to, and are now just returning there.”

“… the only reason it seems that way is because I’ve always had you to chase, or to at least keep up with,” Hannah chuckled. “Throughout all these years, no matter how strong I’d get, you’d always seem to be getting further and further away. No matter how hard I practiced, how cleverly I designed my tactics, whatever I did… it always seemed to fall short of you. It took me decades to realize why that was.”

“…”

"Precisely because of what you want to deny me right now, Lino," she added, looking up and meeting his eyes. "All your life, you've always fought – every single day was a battle for survival. And I understand – I truly do – why you wouldn't want anyone you love to go through the same thing. But the very thing you condemn is the sole thing that has built you up. Compared to me, in a fight, you can effectively see into the future because of how much experience you have. Me? I have to rely on schemes, or just outright overpowering someone. I can't react. Not in time, at least. If I meet someone stronger, I can't be like you – I can't rely on my instinct to bridge the gap. All I can do is either run away or bank on my luck."

“…” Lino sighed heavily for a moment, looking away and up toward the ceiling. “I’d trade all this experience Hannah… I’d trade it in a heartbeat.”

“I know.”

“I’ll never quite understand why would anyone want to throw themselves into the troves and claws of death just on the off-chance they might get stronger. In those moments… my heart would freeze, and my blood would roll backward. Do you know how terrifying it is when your mind just… stops working? It’s like you give way to something else inside of you, and you pull back, observing your own body. You see a sword piercing toward your heart, but your mind is too slow to even register it – yet your body moves out of the way. More terrifying than death itself is dying without ever putting up a fight of my own. Those instincts you talk of… are the scariest shit you'll never experience."

"… I imagine they're still less scary than the life without you," she said. "In every way, shape, and form."

“… I won’t be able to help you,” he added. “But… I know I don’t need to. I just wish… I could be there. Watching. Just in case.”

“—I’ll always come back,” she reassured, snuggling closer into his embrace. “I’ll be the exact nagging type of a wife you need. Even when gone, still there.”

“… you better.” he muttered lowly, kissing the top of her head gently, his lips curling up into a warm smile. “You better…”